Shit-testing. I get it from a girlfriend but it gets annoying from a wife. I know they can't help it. It's like a guy can't help but notice a beautiful woman.

No, seriously, I work for the water department, and shit-testing should only be done by professionals. Tell your wife to get a water filter. Jeez.

Spitting. I hate when guys walk down the street, make that "haawaak" noise and then spit. It just seems so rude, unattractive and disgusting.

Especially if the guy does it with a sidewalk full of people - so he narrowly misses the people walking by and they have to try to skirt the loogie he left behind.

When they get mad at you for suggesting solutions to the problems they complaign about.

If the dont want help then why do we have to pay attention?

'Adjusting'

Belching and throat clearing. When my husband gets nervous or bored, he burps or clears his throat every couple of minutes. It doesn't bother me at home because I can just go to another room but in the car it drives me mad.

Ladies, I beg of you: If you love and respect your man, please please please do not use his razor to shave your legs!

Leaving the toilet seat up. In my house not only should the toilet seat be returned to the down position but the lid should be closed (ladies, the lid closing applies to you, too). If something comes with a lid, when not in use the lid is closed! Many, many years ago when I first got my own place and my brother came to visit I threatened to fine him a quarter every time he left the seat up. The next time he came to visit the first thing he did was hand me a roll of quarters and says "let me know if I need to replenish my account!" He still does it 30 years later. But it does make me laugh and it keeps me in quarters.

Asking that a chore or project be done, then telling me how to do it. Particularly aggravating when she's wrong.

the most obvious .... mood swings. Women are just crazily illogical beasts at certain times of the month. You have to walk on eggshells not to set them off

I can deal with toilet seats, dirty dishes, spitting, farts, ball scratching...etc. I like men, and it definitely can come with the territory. No ball busting from me on those things.

What drives me absolutely nutso though, is what Luj does (sorry luj, you know I luvs ya!). I am all for advice IF I ASK FOR IT AND WANT YOU TO HELP ME FIX A PROBLEM.

I've met my boyfriend half way on this though. If I have a problem, I will start out by saying "I have this thing that's been renting space in my head - would you mind listening to me think out loud about it without any feedback?" (This is how I can solve my own problem sometimes...talking it though). This way, he has the option and clearly at this point can run for his life if he is not in the mood to hear a circular conversation I am having with myself.

And sometimes he can be available to just listen. Sometimes he can't (and he will say so - and then I get to go to someone else who can).

In return, sometimes I forget and he will say "Okay, before we get too far along...is this for me to listen...or do you want my feedback?".

9 times out of ten if he ASKS me if I WANT feedback, I'll take it. But only when he ASKS FIRST. Not sure why that works better for me but it just does. If he doesn't ask first I will almost always get irritated and won't want to listen to his advice (or take it, even to spite myself).

I think it's a difference in the way the sexes work out problems, all I can say is that I am more receptive to your advice if you ASK me if you can give it - and I felt you've actually been listening to everything (and didn't just stop listening once you've gotten your solution to my problem figured out one minute into my five minute chat).

Big. Big. Big. pet peeve.

Male-bashing culture and double-standards

Please - just clean the kitchen after you make a meal! Don't go play video games for 2 hours while leaving your dirty dishes, leftover food and butter laying around the kitchen!

Double standards. As a chick I hate when males say "all bitches be crazy" and as a chick I hate when females say "all men are assholes." We work in different ways and the secret to a relationship isn't so much a secret at all: Understand how your partner operates, the information they need, and what rewards them.

Leaving cupboard doors open and leaving drawers partially open. I don't know if this is a common "annoying habit" but my husband has been doing it for ten years. Sometimes I ask him to try and remember to close them but I have mostly given up and just go around closing things after him, or for his own dresser drawers I just leave them open and try not to look...

Also, for some reason he starts running the shower several minutes before he gets in. Literally several minutes. Like, about as long as it would take me to have my entire shower.I haven't actually ever said anything to him about this because I figure that his bathroom routine really isn't any of my business, but it secretly drives me crazy because it is so wasteful.

I figure that if these are the worst problems in our marriage I don't have anything to complain about.

Spitting disgusts me. I hate side-stepping phlegm-balls on the sidewalk, and it's repulsive when a man spits in front of me.

I can tolerate the tendency for men to leave the toilet seat up. 10-years of marriage and a couple of midnight "ass baths" taught me to look down before I sit down.

I get annoyed when I'm voicing an issue and a man concludes that I "must be on the rag". It undermines the validity of my concern.

I'm a pretty standard girl in many respects. I love it when guys hold the door for me, etc. And if holding the door is just an excuse to get a view of a woman's ass, well I just see that as a win-win scenario.

Farting. I haaaaate that. And, actually, it's not really an opposite-sex thing, I hate when anyone farts. That's really the only thing my husband does around me that I wish he wouldn't though.

If I have to make an opposite-sex only complaint, I would say leaving the toilet seat up. There are some men in my office that leave the seat up and it's kind of annoying. Not the end of the world annoying, but just one of those things that make me think "you touched the seat already, can't you just put it back down so I don't have to touch it?" Oh, and not washing hands after you go! But, again, that's either sex.

Whispering.

Ladies, if there is something you'd like to talk about and you don't want me to hear it, please either go somewhere else or wait for me to leave. Having private conversations in public is just rude.

"....Farting. I haaaaate that. And, actually, it's not really an opposite-sex thing, I hate when anyone farts....."

So. You don't fart? One of the first discussions I had with my wife dealt with the fact that I wasn't always going to leave the room to fart. She accepted that readily, and while she does comment from time to time, it's always good for a laugh.

But don't tell me you don't fart.

What freaks me out is the weird - I am a perfect goddess who deserves everything and my only obligation in life is to have a love affair with myself - women's culture in the US. Not that it's a habit per se, but very freaky all the same.

I hate it when we visit my friends or family and my husband monopolizes the conversation. I mean just goes on and on, and doesn't come up for air so I can't change the subject, or, like, talk to friends and family I haven't seen lately!

I've noticed this with other older guys too. Worst chatterboxes in the world are young girls and old men.

Dirty clothes thrown on the floor RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER. Even my 18-month-old knows better than that.

Unnecessary Tasks.

Ladies, next time you feel like asking your man to do something, start by asking yourself: "what would I do if he weren't around?"

Then try that first.

>> Worst chatterboxes in the world are young girls and old men.

Too true. My dad has gotten like that, he's just goes on and on and on whether anyone is really listening or not. I've seen the same with other guys his age. Maybe it's neurological.

"what would I do if he weren't around?"
The pool boy?

"But don't tell me you don't fart." -roadgeek

Actually, I don't. I don't eat carbs, which Amy will back me up on, are what gives you gas. My husband eats carbs, and when he says to me "how do you never fart?!" I remind him how I do it.

Of course there are times (very rare) when undercooked vegetables have caused me issues, but I don't fart in the presence of anyone other than myself. Ever.

Although, I just found out I'm pregnant, and I hear that pregnant ladies have gas issues, so maybe I'll finally have some ammo for payback. Haha!

Maybe I'm weird or just lucky, but my husband doesn't do anything that annoys me overly much. We've been living together for four and a half years now. I guess I could nitpick a couple of little things since no one's perfect, but seriously, there's nothing that really bothers me.

The fact that we have separate bathrooms with separate showers and separate toilets helps a ton. I highly recommend this for married couples.

Leaving the bathroom sink dirty. Whiskers, toothpaste, phlegm, etc.

I forgot toenail clippings. I hate encountering toenail clippings on the nightstand.

Slightly related to farting/no farting, a childhood friend of mine couldn't "drop a deuce" if her husband was in the house. Weird.

Applying makeup in public, including lipstick.

I'm sorry feebie, but I dont understand the point of using your SO as a sounding board if you dont want him to make sounds.

Its one thing if your just venting, but if its an acctual problem why wouldnt talking to the wall be just as effective if you dont want your boyfreind to offer a solution?

I'm a guy and I find spitting disgusting.

I must be weird... I clean my own dishes, rinse out the bathroom sink after use, etc. Granted, I live alone so if I didn't... I'd be living in filth. Probably has something to do with it. :)

I do leave the seat up at home, but again, I live alone. Anywhere else (or even just people are over) and I put it down.

The number of excuses they have not to have sex:
* hard day at work
* tired
* stressed
* stomachache
* headache
* kids misbeahaved today
* later
* it's too late
* not in the mood
etc etc

When you are arguing and cussing, and the significant other makes a big deal about the cussing and not the actual point. That's seriously annoying.

The assumption that whenever there's a difference in preferences between men and women that womens preferences are good and mens preferences are bad. Not all women do this, but it's pretty common.

Also not trying to think rationally about important subjects. How you 'feel' about something isn't a reason. Again not all but too common.

"What have you done for me lately?" syndrome. There was a song by this title about 1999. As if a man's most-important function in life is to make the woman in his life the focus of his attention regardless of other pressing demands.

lujlp has it right re ignored advice. If you don't want advice, tell your problems to your girlfriends, shrink or priest.

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/fswiki.cgi?Shit_Tests

Chewing tobacco. Nothing is more disgusting, especially if they leave the spit cups laying around.

A female perspective on shit-testing:

http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/03/21/relationshipstrategies/why-we-shit-test/

"Shit-testing? Excuse me? Please explain"
Thanks for asking! WTF?
I took it literally, and wondered who did that at home!

"the most obvious .... mood swings."

Not ALL women have them!
I can think a little irrationally at times, but keep it in my own pointed little head, and try not to share it.
I knew a guy who would find excuses to get pissed at me, so I walked on eggshells. Too bad it took me so long to figure out it was his problem.
Many of these annoying behaviors aren't exclusive to one sex, except spitting.
Now farting- that's another story. That's pretty even.

Shit testing is a nuisance but actually a good indicator of a woman's character. So it pays to tolerate it, within reason. If the shit tests are cruel or degrading, you know to leave.

Long fingernails clicking on a keyboard.

Drives me up a wall.

My ex-wife's classic move: Waiting until we're seated at a restaurant to pick a fight.

I guess I don't understand this shit-test. I followed one of links and the example cited was asking a man to hold my purse? I've had men hold my purse voluntarily when my hands were full, or sometimes when we run an errand at the mall ( I always assumed they were just trying to be helpful) but I can't recall ever asking a man to hold my purse for any period of time. Sometimes a bf or hubby would ask me to hold their wallet in my purse, or When they need something that's in my purse I will ask them to grab it if I'm otherwise occupied. Does that mean I'm shit testing them? Or when they ask me to hold their wallet are they shit testing me? And why would a woman shit test a guy using derogatory methods? I feel like I'm missing the obvious so a brief explanation would be awesome thanks!

All the touchy feely emotional crap. Definitely a chick thing.
Drives me nuts. No, I did not cry when Bambi's mother got shot, or any other scene in any other film.

No i don't need to get all weepy when people die.

When emotions are injected into politics. Yes some men do this, but few by comparison. It is not less annoying when men do it. If anything it is moreso.

If it has to do with feelings, it probably annoys me.

Bitching about the toilet seat not being put down. Your an adult, and theoretically you're not helpless, you can check the condition of the toilet seat before you use it. Every man has to check the condition of the seat before going number 2. If they live with other men, you don't hear them bitching out the other for leaving the seat up.

Oh, and shit testing.

Meloni a shit test is simply when a woman deliberately provokes a confrontation w/ her man, or potential man, to gauge how he handles himself. The nominal reason isn't the real motive of the confrontation.

For instance, escalating a minor disagreement in an attempt to see whether the guy will yield just to keep the peace.

But I don't think that women are always aware of when they're shit testing. Which is why they don't recognize the phenomenon. Guys recognize it because they can observe the woman's behavior from a more neutral perspective.

I'm willing to over look mood swings in some instances.

I nearly froze to death once slightly damaged my hypothalumus, good news is I never suffer from jet lag, bad news is I always feel dehydrated and overheat fairly quickly.

And if I get too hot I get downright stupid and overly emotional, usually irrationally angry.

Ten minuets and a bucket of ice water usually mellows me back out, but I can turn into quite the raging asshole when it happens - so I try to make myself scarce when it does.

Shit testing. Of EITHER sex. And those of either sex who BRAG about shit testing.

Idiocy. On the part of either sex. Ferchrissakes, please stop it. Just be GOOD to each other. Is it REALLY that hard??

In men: Resisting a great solution to a problem (and coming up with lame objections) because someone else thought of it.

FWIW, I read years ago that you should never ask a man to hold your purse, and I took it to heart. Since then, I have had numerous guys offer to hold it when I was overloaded, and when I've protested that they shouldn't have to, they looked at me like I was bananas or living in the Stone Age. "Why would that emasculate me? Do you really think I'm that insecure?"

Without question: Writing checks in the grocery store.

Last month I saw a man doing it, and couldn't remember the last time that happened.

tiny morris: Thanks for the explanation!

Kevin: I really get irritated when somebody whips out the checkbook. What makes it most annoying is when they wait to even look for their checkbook until their groceries are tallied up. So I wait while their 380.00 worth of groceries are tallied up, then wait while they dig in their ginormous purse looking for the checkbook, then wait while they add a few prior purchases to their register, then wait while they ever so slowly fill in the blanks. GAH!

I can't wait for grocery stores to stop accepting checks.

I had never heard of shit testing before - what a bizarre, bizarre thing to do!

I don't really have any gender-specific irritants, other than guys getting annoyed when I have to stop on car trips. Oh, and what Insufficient Poison said, although I think men AND women do that.