Neil deGrasse Tyson's Musical Ambition

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 34," was the reply.

"I'm actually 46," says the man happily.

About a while later he went for lunch to McDonald's and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'm guessing that you're about 30?"

"Nope, I am actually 46." He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is poor. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. I know you're 46"

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's".

Three guys went to a ski lodge, the rooms are full, so they have to share a room with one bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this very wild dream of getting a hand job!"

The guy on the left wakes up, and said "That's unbelievable, I had the same dream too!".

Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

https://twitter.com/RCHains/status/208412462029094913

[I]t's hard to imagine the fact that so many think the country is more than a quarter gay or lesbian has no impact on our public policy.

Exactly. Mostly, it's weird.

It validates a suspicion about Americans that I've had for several years: Americans are NOT as erotically sophisticated as often they presume themselves (and claim) to be.

And it doesn't dispute another theory: That we allow media to present issues to us in the order by which we imagine ourselves most flattered by our positions on them. (Specifically: If you're desperate to think of yourself as a civil-rights superhero with a blue cape and X-ray vision, well, have I got a social issue for you, little feller....