I disagree with everybody here. Call me a grump.

First, as Amy points out, Ms. Simmons is a self-entitled twit. No, you cannot have it all. If you are raising a child, you cannot also have a 100% career.

That said, we are also back at Amy's position about children: They should be invisible until they are 20, and certainly should never be seen on an airplane.

Sometimes you have little choice but to travel with a young child. It's not fun, but you've got to get through it. I had to, and yes, I changed a diaper on the galley floor. It's really great - your kid is lying on a dirty carpet, wet from spilled drinks.

Why? Because there is no other place to do it!. If the airline provides a flip-down changing table in the toilet, it is simply not large enough for a 1- or 2- year old child.

It's really great - your kid is lying on a dirty carpet, wet from spilled drinks.

Why? Because there is no other place to do it!. If the airline provides a flip-down changing table in the toilet, it is simply not large enough for a 1- or 2- year old child.

Posted by: a_random_guy at April 22, 2013 11:21 PM

They invented these really cool things that might help in that situation: they're called towels. They can even be washed and reused!

This is why I don't put the kid in a diaper. Instead I place a bowl in the aisle of the airplane and encourage the kid to poop there.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/19/nyregion/babys-latest-going-diaperless-at-home-or-even-in-the-park.html

Of course, the kid is now 28, and has an MD/Ph.D and gives me the most evil of looks.

Yeesh. My mom used to fly non-revenue, space-available with me and my sister. Somehow she managed a toddler and an infant by herself without writing a few hundred words of whining in a national paper. (Dad was in the picture, it was just likely that he was flying the plane.)

"What makes women and muslims similar? They never create anything, they use things which others create and they want those things to always be changed to accomodate them."

"Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls."

I wonder what is hidden about aggression in girls. The only reason it is hidden is because of the selective blindness of the female dominated media which always suppresses anything which could make women look bad.

@Model: Towels, yeah, that's great, thanks for the brilliant suggestion.

It doesn't solve the problem that you are changing a diaper in the view (and smell) of half the airplane, on a part of the floor that is essentially always dirty and wet, plus you are hugely in the way of the aircraft personnel and possibly the toilets.

Airlines do advertise that they have changing tables: next time you are on an airplane, see if you can find one and measure it. Then imagine just where you would go to change a diaper for anything but the smallest of infants.

On a short flight, you can let the kid sit in a peed-in diaper, no big deal. If it's a long flight, or if its a poopy diaper, there's really no choice. The snide remarks from the nearby airline passengers just add that extra something to an already great situation.

Hey, let's get right to the point: what do you want an airline to do, lady?

Because everybody has to pay for that.

Their job is to get you, grateful or not, from one place to another without large noises or flames. The plane is cramped due to your fellow travelers: overweight, generally dim-witted about flying, self-important and stingy. They will ALWAYS go for low prices on airline tickets.

As, apparently, do you. There are bigger seats to be had, better transportation to be used - but here's the kicker: you would have to pay.

Oh shit. Can't do that!

If the worst thing that happens on an airline is someone changing their kids diaper, even on my seat, count me as a happy customer.

If the thought of second hand bodily fluids touching you or your clothing bothers you, how on earth do you ever stay in a hotel or use a public restroom?

Before a recent flight from Hartford to Dallas, I watched two dozen men in suits cruise down the elite passengers' red carpet.

This is called business class. It costs quite a bit extra. The people who use it pay heartily for the privilege, but the airlines will happily take your money too.

As some of you know I am an American living in Switzerland, so I have flown with my kid, now two, both intercontinentally and domestically in the US.

First off, the staff are always super friendly and some provide toys. I let her run or crawl around the airport before getting on the plane, dirt be damned. Since I nursed a long time, she was pretty much attached to my boob, a tool i wont have this summer, but that i found useful before. The bathrooms have changing tables. Now shes bigger but I change her standing up so it doesnt matter

Honestly i think the airlines do as good a job as they can and i dont see what else they could do

I traveled recently with my 3 year old... who was still in diapers due to a medical issue. If I could fit a THREE YEAR OLD on an airplane changing table, then I don't want to hear any whining! It was a 4-5 hour flight.

Here's the terrible secret... once they are old enough to be "too big" they are old enough to put their legs in the air, which magically reduces their length in half for this purpose.

I always brought washable changing pads in my diaper bag... and a flight would get a few disposable ones too. I COULD do a change on a seat if absolutely necessary, but never had to (and I did take my son at age 2 from VA to CA on my own).

How could I if I was traveling along... if you want the extra space you don't have to buy a business class ticket, you have to buy the KID a ticket! Ticketed infant passengers (age 2 or less) are usually half price or otherwise reduced, since they count for much less passenger weight. Problem solved.

The solutions are there, you have to actually use them though.

She's an alleged professional but she as too scared to either change the kid on her lap, in the restroom or back in the galley? Sorry, but I'm tired of chicken chicks. I've flown with babies, changed their diapers--sit on the closed toilet, put kid on towel on lap. Not rocket science.

I don't think many people realize how valuable space and weight are on an aircraft. Having observed engineers beating their brains out trying to get 500 lbs. out of the design of a 400,000-lb airliner, I know. To make the changing tables larger, you have to make the lav larger. If doing so displaces a row of seats, it quite possibly makes the aircraft unprofitable to operate.

And yeah, there are way too many flyers these days who buy the absolute cheapest ticket they can find, and then demand services that they aren't willing to pay for. Those people who are griping about the service that comes with their $99 JFK-LAX ticket? They're being subsidized by those of us in the secondary markets who have to pay much higher fares, and we don't get the level of service that they get.

You can changw a diaper on a lap, too

Look, children travel. I'm OK with that.

BUT, parents should be responsible enough to ensure that their children are 'travel worthy'.

My daughter just turned 10. But at the age of 6 or 7 she was already every inch a little lady.

I could take her to a nice restaurant, sit down, and eat a meal with her looking like a prim and propper little princess, she would drink grape juice and eat food that I ate. She wouldn't cry and complain about every little detail.

At the age of 5, she'd get upset if she had an accident. And yes she would cry from embarrassment and discomfort, but we adapted to that by making sure she used the bathroom before going out, and not going to places where a child would be a distraction if, as little children often do, she were to get loud.

I would have been comfortable flying with her at 5. I wouldn't have done it at all unless necessary if she were 3. My son flew with his mother to see me when he was 2, there was no other option since it was Hawaii, but he behaved because he loved flying. He was more difficult, I didn't take him out a lot when he was little, since he would cry very easily at an early age, even more so than his little sister. But even he, by the time he was 7, was a well behaved young princeling mindful of his behavior.

If I were to put them on a plane now, at 10 and 13 respectively, I know that they'd behave perfectly every step of the way even without supervision.

I would NOT take a 9 week old on a flight. This author is a dipshit.

I'm guessing the author didn't realize that once you have children, your over-inflated sense of entitlement is supposed to be put on the back burner until the child(ren) are at least old enough to fend for themselves. lest they themselves cultivate one.

I agree with Robert. She's a dipshit.

I have traveled with a baby, and yes, it's a total PIA. But so's doing anything with a baby:

1 - airplane bathrooms do generally have a pull down changing table. At 9 weeks the baby would even fit on it no problem. And if you're cleaning up a baby, why WOULDN'T you want to be where there's water & paper towels?!?!?!

2 - at several airports I noticed a random room next to the bathrooms: a "family" room. In one, there was even a nice rocking chair -- for nursing or pumping. No, they're not everywhere but you can check before you go to see if they have one. And if not then buy the freakin club membership (or day pass) if you want to be comfortable, and it's a LOT more comfortable. Totally worth it since they have a "family" room to keep the kiddos away from the general club travelers.

It is time for airlines to catch up to what women need.

BZZT.

Women =/ mothers.

I know plenty of women who don't need you changing a shitty diaper six inches from them in a crowded plane.

Though it's best not to go around breaking one another's noses over who has the cutest shoes, women often end up festering with nastiness, while guys can sometimes sock each other and then go off and have a beer.

OI... people. You know? Humans "doo". All of 'em. Always, unless they are dead.

Baby doo, may be velcro toxic waste [as Robin Williams, says] but you know? diaper bags come with a fabulous WATERPROOF changing pads, that keep bad things from happening.

Back in yon olden days when #1 son was still in diapers, it happened that we needed to fly cross country... and in the course of events, the kid did what kids 'DOO'...

And with profuse apology, my wife and I changed him hurriedly...

Interestingly, no-one died from it. Back then there were NO changing tables that I ever saw... but then we were flying 727's 737's on a cheap airline, and the kid is now an adult.

This is not a NEW issue.

OTOH. The entitled princess, who thinks there should be loud applause because she has decided to live a wholly authentic life...

Um, yeah, this is why parenting of small children is easier when you aren't doing it alone. Sounds like she is traveling ON BUSINESS with the kid. While her bosses have tight smiles because they know damn well they can't fire her, because she'd turn around and sue.

Basically a CF, all the way down.

None of this would be an issue if she would avoid the obvious problems, and try to confront the other problems with some grace.

But some people who try to have everything, no matter who they are, are just PITA's that are better avoided.

No, it's because female aggression tends to be covert rather than overt, like men's. I wrote about this here

So there is no bias in the media? Then how do you explain anti male stuff going on for days and days in any media outlet while there is hardly a whimper from the media when women do anything?(Casey Anthony, Mary Winkler etc etc). And is it not the norm that women get away with anything here while men get screwed all the time even when they are innocent? Would make all western men wish for sharia(I am sure a lot of american men secretly wish for it anyway). And if women are so good at being covert, how come they do not do so well as politicians and crisis management experts and it is always the guys who are doing all the massaging of feelings and getting people to work together whether in public office or in the private sector?

And if women are so good at being covert, how come they do not do so well as politicians and crisis management experts and it is always the guys who are doing all the massaging of feelings and getting people to work together whether in public office or in the private sector?

You are begging the question here.

Is this what the plane smells like after entitlemommy is done?

The Casey Anthony and Mary Winkler cases got massive media attention. Hell, even when a third party kills a child, people find a way to blame the mother. You need to pay attention to mainstream media coverage instead of the MRA bullshit that usually covets your attention.

Wesley Snipes addressed this type of attitude:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXhKzY0BKwY

Hotels: I don't stay in hotels where the walls are smeared with feces and I don't touch the remote and then lick my fingers.

I take ziplock bags and put the remotes inside them

I can travel the world with my 4 kids on my own and I've never whined about the diaper changing facilities. I somehow-by myself-got 4 kids still young enough for carseats, 4 carseats, and all our luggage from the cheap way-out parking to our plane and then to the rental. I somehow flew by myself with infant twins. I am an adult, competence is what separates me from a dairy cow.

As my friend said the other day when someone told her the park bathroom was icky to pee in: "it's not a turkish toilet in Morocco. I think I'll be alright". Perspective is wonderful.

And of course, the parents are going to respond with, "You're not a parent." Which translates as "I get to inflict my unmanageable brat and his/her bodily functions on you, and you have no right to judge me for it, because you're not a parent."

But it seems that the parental incantation which absolves mommies and daddies of all wrongdoing is no longer having the desired effect. Amy's friend is now invoking the single-mommy mantra. "I'm a single mother" means neither you nor even other parents have the right to condemn and should endure several hours of flagellation for even thinking unkind thoughts about me and my child because I have no other adult to unload the kid on.

There's probably another subset of single parents which are the involuntary single parents, who began their breeder careers as a partnership, but now must endure the unspeakable hardship alone. Amy's friend, like Madonna, chose to be a single mommy, so she doesn't belong to this group, the Brahmans of parenthood. Had it been one of them who wanted to change their kid on an airplane seat, the passengers would have descended on her, offering all kinds of assistance. Perhaps a sturdy individual could drop to all fours in the aisle presenting his back to serve as a changing table.

First, who the hell cares that she misses being able to sachet onto the plane in pumps? Sounds like she's upset with herself & pecking at whoever she can blame for her self-proclaimedly voluntary change of lifestyle.

Second, out of sheer morbid curiosity, do I see Botu's slip showing from under Redrajesh's dress?

What a whiney brat, and I don't mean her kid.

"Competence is what sets me apart from a dairy cow"

This line is the perfect response.

The fact that she's single isn't really germane to her problem; it's that she insists on combining motherhood with a job which requires travel. If she was married, her husband wouldn't be going with her on a business trip, so she'd have the same choices she does now: take Baby with her, or leave her home with someone else.

"Thirty thousand feet up, I was learning that air travel is one of the most inhospitable experiences for mothers with small children, especially moms who travel for work."

I'm sorry, but this is just painfully funny. Honey, you're an educated woman, who has traveled for business for how many years and you're just now learning airplanes aren't ideal environments for babies?

It's not a world of "everybody has it all" you know. Every choice we make drives a fork in our road to a new decision. When you choose to have children, THEY are your priority. Parenthood, by definition, means sacrificing your own wants for your children's needs. That could mean one doesn't pour a glass of wine at the end of the day or it could mean one ceases air travel for a defined period of time. Whatever form it takes, parenthood is volunteering to take on a new set of responsibilities.

As a single, adult, childless, male, I have a general obligation to everyone to not make their individual life worse. I also have a general obligation to try to stop anyone infringing on their life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness.

And anyone else has that obligation to me as well.

If you want to fly with an infant -- that is your responsibility. Don't expect me to put myself out because you're an idiot.

"I am a single mother by choice, and like millions of women doing it alone, there is no second lap to lay a baby on for an in-flight diaper change."

And, like millions of women doing it alone, the odds are that you're raising a bullet stop. So much for your appeal to popularity.

Good luck.

Saying: "I am a single mother by choice"
Is the very same thing as saying:

"My child doesn't deserve a father."