As an employer who gives employees an enormous amount of flexibility, I'm always amazed at the seeming resentment when more or better results are expected. You're a professional, making a great salary and benefits, but only an asshole would ask for a little more output?

Probably nothing to do with rudeness, but Christ, it's frustrating.

Rudest while driving: I'm in the left lane and a car in the right cuts in front of me... and then begins to enter the just-forming left-turn lane. BUT, the driver never goes all the way over before breaking hard. I had to slam on my breaks to avoid this person who was only about a foot in front of me (I had already slowed significantly when s/he cut me off) simply because the driver couldn't be bothered to get into the correct lane.

I would be more sympathetic if 1.) the driver had signaled or 2.) waved in acknowledgement of cutting me off or 3.) there hadn't been about 20 good places to turn around within the next quarter mile (okay, that's an exaggeration, but still)

I'm stuck on people not answering (or even acknowledging) personal e-mail or personal social network messages. Of course I'm not talking about spam (including art spam) or stuff that's obviously been mass-mailed. But if someone you know – even casually – takes the time to write to you personally, at least fucking acknowledge that you received the damn message! Grrrrr!

Of course, people will quibble on the definition of 'rude'.
I constantly see entire families in restaurants with their noses in their phones -- no interaction at all.
Ill-mannered, if not rude.
Who will teach kids manners when their parents have none?

I was approaching a drive up ATM with no line. A car coming from the other direction hit the gas and pulled in through the exit barely beating me there then scooting over to the passenger seat to do their transaction.

My wife and I were checking out at Walmart. The woman in front of us was holding a loaf of bread. After the people in front of her checked out, she whistled loudly and put her hand in the air. After that her husband her son each got out of two different lines they were waiting in and cut to the front of our line with her... with two heaping carts.

Don't places like this blog give us license to be rude? Can you imagine if we, instead of posting from a distance with a degree of anonymity, had to meet in the same room. Much, if not most, of the things we say to one another would never be said.

Or if they were, a few heads would turn in disbelief, as we collectively regard what would surely be regarded in polite company as the most uncouth person in the world.

HA!

Patrick nailed it.

So did Little Shiva-this has happened to me more than once.

The rudest thing I experienced lately was today actually.

The bus line used by our school board "forgot" my daughter was even on the bus.

When I called to complain that I had to wait 45 minutes in a panic for my daughter to be located and dropped off, both the bus line and the school administrator, (who "used to be a bus driver") both implied that I had been worried and was complaining for nothing, that "these things happen".

I doubt they would be so amiable had it been their children.

Matt, your story reminds me of a work situation I was once in. (And please, understand, I know that employees can be uncooperative, no matter how polite you are, so I'm not saying that any of this applies to you.)

I had a boss whom I would have done anything for, essentially. Just because of the way he would ask for things. "Patrick, would you take care of this?"

Absolutely. He knew how to get people to do things for him.

Then, under him, there was kind of a self-important twerp who fancied himself in charge of everything in the office. "Patrick, I need you to go do this."

"And I need you to go soak your head in sulfuric acid. Looks like we're both going to be disappointed, huh?"

When it comes to motivating employees, delivery is everything.

Sharon, certainly rude. But the word I would use is "idiot" or "dangerous." Oh, hell, let's go with "dangerous idiot."

Little Shiva, I'm sometimes guilty of that. But I will try to be better. You're right. If someone takes the time to send me an email, I should acknowledge it.

Isobomber, I forsee upcoming young adults who are totally clueless as to how to interact. I see them having boyfriends/girlfriends and utterly bewildered when their boorish conduct pisses them off.

Trust, what a jackass. "Excuse me, but do you not understand that the world revolves around me, and that rules are for you and not me?"

As for the woman in the bread. That would have been my cue to raise hell.

wtf, you gotta love incompetence when it misplaces your kids, then acts like it's your fault for being upset.

Don't places like this blog give us license to be rude? Can you imagine if we, instead of posting from a distance with a degree of anonymity, had to meet in the same room. Much, if not most, of the things we say to one another would never be said. -- Patrick at September 9, 2013 1:40 PM

In my case, I will generally attack your idea(s) and not you. After multiple ideas that I disagree with and you a refusal to learn from anybody, I will no longer try to convince you.

As for meeting in a room -- if we are all equal -- I would say the same things I say here. But if I am in a room with people that could have a true effect on my financial, medical, or legal future then I would add some censoring to what I would say. That is natural.

Asshats who throw lit cigarettes out of car windows, in COLORADO, during fire season. You have no idea how much restraint it takes not to get out of the car at a stoplight and bitchslap them.

Yesterday a young man - probably a college freshman - splattered me with projectile vomit.

I walked onto the metro car, paused long enough to think, "sit to the left or to the right?" and the guy sitting about 4 feet away - I thought he was sleeping - vomited forward.

I was wearing capri pants. I felt the splatter.

Vomit-man was unconscious, but the guy next to him - I'm guessing his hazing brother - was sober enough to get on the cell phone and report, "we have a situation."

No apology.

~~

And ditto to what Little Shiva and Jim P. said.

While boarding a plane recently, I grabbed a blanket out of an overhead bin on the way to my seat. When I got to my seat, I placed the blanket on it and hefted my bag into the overhead.

When I turned back, I saw that the guy sitting next to me had grabbed my blanket. I politely informed him that I just put it there for myself. No, he exclaimed! It had been there all along, and since he got it first, it was his. I stood there flabbergasted as he refused to give it back.

I went and got another one, and then sarcastically told this guy to enjoy his blanket.

About a month ago, at the supermarket. Walking out I see a guy just get done unloading his cart. So does he take his cart to the cart-wrangling station? Oh no, of course not. He puts his cart directly behind my car so that it's actually against my bumper. (I was parked next to him.)

I have a white hot hatred of assholes who leave shopping carts around parking lots. Like it's such an effort to take it the 20 or 30 feet to the cart-wrangling station. (About 30 years I got a nice size dent in the first really nice car I owned. Yeah, it was caused by a shopping cart.)

Allen, perhaps Blanket Thieff and Projectile Puker will sit next to each other on a plane during spring break.

At a recent gathering a man's wife was loudly announcing her opinions on everyone else's family dynamics (mine included) and what we should do to 'fix' them, grabbed a gift brought for a little girl's birthday and gave it to the child's brother, and grabbed me (repeatedly) and tried to kiss me on the mouth - in front of her husband.

She was not drunk.

Just - zero boundaries, I guess.

Hey Michelle- a different point of view...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4pCYtXK0Qkc#t=176

Life is generally OK except for cars that park in the middle of the street so people can get out, pay a cabbie, unload parcels, or generally fiddle-fart around when there's plenty of room to pull over at the curb and get out of the way of normal people.

Vomiting as frat-boy fashion commentary. I would not have thought of that. Thank you Eric for the early morning meditation on the evils of capri pants and tightie-whities. I didn't see that coming, either.

Rude? Coughing when you're on the train and NOT COVERING YOUR MOUTH.

ACK.

Wiping your snotty nose (or even your child's) on your damn sleeve.

Ewwwwww.

Horking up a gob of your lung and spitting it right onto the sidewalk. In front of everyone. That right there is enough to make me hurl.

Oh, and when I'm in line to pay for my goods, and you're behind me, reaching OVER ME or past me to put something on the belt BEFORE I've even picked up my stuff!!

KNOCK IT OFF.

Okay. Done for now!

Two guys at the gym yesterday:

(1) The one who sits on a machine for five minutes in between sets.

(2) The one who gets a machine all sweaty and doesn't wipe it off.

Cousin Dave, AMEN!

Cousin Dave, you forgot the person who ties up the machine while yacking on their cellphone.

... or maybe that was just my gym.

For the guy at the ATM I would have pulled forward so as to force them to back out

As to the shopping cart, I would have placed my full cart behind their car and taken my time unloading

I'm stuck on people not answering (or even acknowledging) personal e-mail or personal social network messages. Of course I'm not talking about spam (including art spam) or stuff that's obviously been mass-mailed. But if someone you know – even casually – takes the time to write to you personally, at least fucking acknowledge that you received the damn message! Grrrrr!

Posted by: Little Shiva at September 9, 2013 11:53 AM
_________________________

My father, for one, does not agree. And he's very tech-savvy, as well as chatty on the phone.

I don't quite understand why he won't respond within 24 hours or so (I e-mail him maybe once a week or less), but I suppose the idea is that just as many of us don't want to encourage friends and family to call us on the phone with every trivial thought on their minds, we don't want them to do that with personal e-mail either, since it can be a slippery slope. Therefore, refusing to answer right away can help to establish such boundaries.

Forgot to say to lsomber: This is why I wish Miss Manners would write a book for children - or at least a book for everyone who just can't read at her usual level, including foreigners and most(?) teens.

Trouble is, who would buy it for the kids who really need it, since parents who don't believe in electronics or books at the dinner table are already instructing them properly?

Getting texts from people who know I am currently in the car driving to their location, then flipping out when I arrive.

"Why didn't you answer me?!".

Unreal.

This just happened - I was coming back home from the gym.

In front of the First Aid Squad building, the ambulance, with its lights flashing and the siren from the building sounding, was waiting to pull out into traffic.

I stopped, and the assholes behind me started laying on their horns! What exactly did they expect - the ambulance to wait for them?!

What I think is extra rude is when someone attributes another persons rude and selfish behavior on "low self esteem."

So the solution to people with an inflated sense of self worth.... is to make them feel even better about themselves.

No, rude people don't lack self esteem... they have a misguided overdose of it. What they lack is respect, for.self and others.

As a server in a restaurant, my biggest pet peeve is people who seat themselves (when there's a clearly visible sign to go see the hostess). It messes up the seating rotation, breaks our routine to fetch menus and silverware, makes us look bad if we can't get to them in time, and is of course horribly unfair to customers who actually followed directions and waited for a seat.

My other big pet peeve is when people leave their half full drinks on a table in the bar area and get up to dance/smoke, then act outraged when they come back and their drinks are cleared or someone else is sitting at your table. First of all, it's just not safe to leave your drink unattended at a crowded bar--duh. Second, theres a limited amount of tables and if we never cleared a presumably empty table, it would be a pigsty with no place for other guests to sit. And finally, when you get up and leave without saying anything then I'm thinking you walked out on your tab--stop complaining and be thankful you're not explaining yourself to the police.

...not that these are the worst offenses in the world, just the ones that I see on a regular basis.

I was walking out of the supermarket one evening, pushing a (single file) stroller containing my kids (who love the supermarket and are always quiet as mice, seriously). A few people were walking in front of us. We all approached the automatic doors to leave. Automatic doors opened. We started to walk through/toward the doors, depending on our place in the line...and the woman at the front of the line, once she got a couple of feet out of the doors with her cart but while she was still blocking everyone else, started to slow down. And then stopped. I assumed she had had some terrible revelation/realization...

...and then she pulled out her cell phone, read the screen and started to push some buttons. While blocking a line of people behind her. I blurted out, "Miss, please move!" That is the EXACT quote.

Her response? An angry, "There's a better way to say that!" (But she did start moving again.)

I wish I had been able to come up with a snarky response on the fly. Instead, I just said, "Yeeesssss," and kept moving. Her response to that involved the active form of the four-letter word that begins with "f." In front of my two tiny kids. Charming. (And no, I don't believe the entire world needs to be made Safe For Kids. But I think that you can avoid using four-letter words at high volume around them when someone has politely asked you to recognize the needs of others around you.)

...and the woman at the front of the line, once she got a couple of feet out of the doors with her cart but while she was still blocking everyone else, started to slow down. And then stopped.

Yesterday, I was descending the escalator to the platform at the subway station and the woman at the front of the line stopped to look around and get her bearings.

That doesn't really work on an escalator, folks. The people behind you cannot stop and wait while you figure out if you want to move left or right.

It's Lucy and the chocolate factory here, people. And we're the chocolates.

Amy, I am a huge fan of yours, have been reading your columns in the newspaper for years and following your blog for the past few months, have never commented on anything -- tho there were many times I wanted to.

I live in a very small apartment building, there are 8 units total and only 2 are one bedroom. I live in one of them and recently, the tenant of the other moved out to make that one available to rent. There is a sign out front with a number of who to contact to set up an appointment to see the unit in question. Last night someone knocked on my door, wanted to see the inside of MY apartment because they didnt want to make an appointment with the landlord to see the one that is actually for rent. I found this very rude, told them "no" they cannot walk through my apartment, it is NOT the one that is available, please call the number on the sign if they want to see it. This was not the first time this has happened. 4 days ago, I got home from work to find someone sitting on my front step, wanting to see the inside of my apartment because one of my neighbors told them I had the only one that was similar to the one for rent. Then, they got mad because, after waiting for so long for me to get home, I wouldnt let them in.

Does anyone agree with me that this is rude? Or am I just being grumpy because after a long day at work, I come home to find someone wanting to look at my very messy, private, unavailable apartment.

I remember this guy that offered up a Supreme Court ruling in an argument, then went all PMS-y when it was assumed that since he offered the ruling by itself he agreed with it.

Ever since, he's been blowing about it.