Hey, guys! Don't you just love those adorable Chick tracts? You know, those tiny, religious-themed comic books that people leave on public telephones, restrooms, bus stops, etc.

Well, now you don't even have to order them. You can just print them right out, staple it together, and you, too, can be a footsoldier on the front lines for Jesus.

And may I suggest you start with this one, called "Lisa." It's about a man whose down on his luck and takes to sexually molesting his little girl Lisa (who, as we see in the last panel, looks about three years old). He even shares her with his neighbor, in exchange for the neighbor's silence. But, never fear! It all turns out well for everyone. After months of being sexually abused, Lisa's pediatrician discovers she has herpes.

And the doctor, of course, reports it like the law requires. Just kidding! Reporting it? How gauche! No, he prays with the father and asks Jesus to come into his life.

Then Daddy Dearest goes home and shares the good news with the wife, that he's found Jesus, and the two of them pray together so the wife can have Jesus, too. Then, joyfully, they announce to Lisa they they aren't going to hurt her any more!

Guess that makes everything A-okay, huh?

Bleah, I see at least three grammatical errors. I should proofread more. But I hope the sarcastic contempt I have for this really, really sick Chick tract came through.

Geez. Whatever happened to warning people about the dangers of gambling, demon rum, and loose women?

Meh, Lisa's a slut. She was asking for it.

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303678404579533760760481486 -- right up your alley, Amy.