Your article was well written, and exposes a lot of ugly truths.

If you are a career woman, it is extremely likely that your only genuine female friend is your mother, and sometimes even that relationship is poisoned.

If will be interesting to see if Ms Sandberg takes back some of her career advice now that she is a widow with two small children.

Science instead of 'feelings'? What a concept!

Expect to get plenty of flak from the usual cadres of SJWs, to whom this sort of science/based debunking of their cherished beliefs is intolerable.

My LA vet is a woman, as the majority of DVMs are. She gets flak from other women DVMs for insisting that there be help to restrain unruly horses and the like - 'well, a man would never ask for help holding a horse, you're betraying the sisterhood!' To which she replies 'Maybe so, but I can't be an effective DVM with smashed fingers, a cracked skull, or maybe worse. What's better, a female DVM who demands help and stays working, or a female DVM who insists she doesn't need help, and isn't? The only cure for a horse that resists (short of sedation) is upper body strength, and that means Y chromosomes.'

She also prefers male clients over female clients - women, she says, often try and manipulate her with appeals to the sisterhood, usually to avoid or postpone paying the bill. Most men, she says, feel in honor bound to pay their bills if humanly possible - far fewer women feel such an obligation.

llater,

llamas

The only sign I needed that the lady can't or won't take her own advice is the secrecy of winning that award. Another is expressed horror at being recognized for achievement.

What the hell does she think the signs of real achievement are?

You get recognized, and that's a BAD thing? Anus, meet cranium.

Dilbert's on topic today. Alice got Ted fired via a threat of social media...

Of course, there's room for individual variation in this sort of thing. The most supportive boss I've ever had was a woman. She helped my career in ways that went above and beyond.

The most back-stabbing, scheming boss I've ever had was also a woman.

But across the board, I preferred male bosses. I did my job, and if I did a good one, I got recognized. They were, overall, much simpler to deal with. With the terrible boss I mentioned above, it was like trying to please a hypercritical mother who was never satisfied and constantly setting me up to fail.

You mention Sandberg's discomfort with recognition. That reminded me of a column by Erma Bombeck in which she questioned being listed among the most influential women in America. She said something along the lines of how the other women on the list had certainly proven themselves worthy, but around her house, if she said Tuesday was the day before Wednesday, her kids would roll their eyes and ask, "Are you sure?"

Good piece, I really enjoyed reading it. Lean In is another business advice book. I had a boss who only had business advice books on his bookshelf, this was his home bookshelf btw. Most business advice books are platitude filled, if one was really laying down the secrets of businesses' business, one would probably charge much more for this advice.

I don't see a lot of picking apart of business advice given by men, such as Jack Welch. They'll get a review or criticism and then everyone moves on. The criticism of women business authors seems more gendered, here we are pointing out yet again, about a book published in March 2013, how Sandberg gets it wrong. I would say that's a win for Sandberg since it keeps the book in the public consciousness and probably drives some sales.

> “Men have an easier time finding the mentors and sponsors who are invaluable for career progression.

Mentorship must be some new thing. I have never actually seen "mentors" for anyone outside of new hires, and I've never known of any men who had some sort of mentor.

As often, feminists take what happens for a very few small minority of men and then problematize it as gendered behavior and demand it for all women.

Who has a mentor? I guess the stereotype is of some cigar smoking wall street banker (one day all this will be yours my boy, now pour me another gin, and before we go to the board meeting, suck my cock!) taking in the new Harvard young pup, but for 99.999% of the rest of us? Sink or swim buddy. Sink or swim.

I'll see Rad's Dilbert and raise you this one.

And Isab touches upon something that is much more truer than not: mothers may see daughters as competitors, and it may begin at birth when momma realizes that pop has a new love in his life.

My mother has told me that she had a rough relationship with her mother when she was growing up. After she grew up, and moved out, their relationship got much better.

But I'm convinced it was because she was daddy's girl.

Fayd,

It is hard to get respect in your home town or especially your family. I expect even Jesus was just 'My cute little poop factory' to his mother. Or 'You can make water into wine and feet a crowd with one fish, but can you remember to bring one lousy onion home so I can cook dinner next time? Hmm.'

There definitely is mother/child competition (for resources), and Benenson gets into this in her book.

Well I cant find it, I was watching one of those David Attenbrough documentaries a few years back, voles or some other sort of other hibernating mountain rodent, the young females unable to pair with a mate that had their own lair would return to the family burrow to hibernate.

And the mother would beat the shit out of her to induce a miscarriage to ensure there was enough food for her to eat through the winter.

Couldnt find the clip online though

She talks about infanticide in her book, for example, and Gaulin and Lassek talk about it in a study about how a fetus takes nutrients from the mother. Women with a "bimbo" body are better protected against this (gynoid rather than more android fat, meaning hip fat, big breasts, etc.). Women actually -- according to Gaulin and Lassek -- lose cognitive ability with every child they have. Not sure how much. But the bimbo body women lose less, if I'm remembering correctly. I heard Steve Gaulin, I think, present that paper, and I think I read it, but it was years ago, so this is best I can recall.

Always been white men in their mid 40s to mid 50s that gave a chance. Always. They always tell me how much they love my energy. Nobody outside of that gives me a chance. Ever.

A chance to do what?

My experience has been that people of both genders are generally helpful. Haven't run into a lot of saboteurs of any gender.

Just lucky I guess. Or oblivious.

Always been white men in their mid 40s to mid 50s that gave a chance. Always. They always tell me how much they love my energy. Nobody outside of that gives me a chance. Ever.
Posted by: Ppen at May 15, 2015 11:21 PM

This has been my experience also.

Those people secure enough in their own competence to give others a hand up.

Women rarely get to that level of security. Most of them have huge chips on their shoulder when they get into management.

"Women actually -- according to Gaulin and Lassek -- lose cognitive ability with every child they have."

OMG, have you just fired upon the We Can Have It All crowd!

That Duggar lady must be frowning at the sunrise, wondering why it's so bright outdoors... (19 Kids & Counting)

Can the testing done have missed the enormous distraction level of having to track the details and movement of one's child(ren)?

Well, if I've lost cognitive ability times 4, I truly must have been scary-smart before I was a mom. After popping out 4, I obtained my RN/BSN with a near-4.0 GPA while some were still in diapers, while working. I can tell you every detail of the lives of 6 people-who needs to be seen by which professional when, what the last report was when they were seen, what bill is due when, what we need from the grocery store (haven't used a list ever in my life, unless it was a holiday and I was making dishes unfamiliar to me), who is working on what homework, what paperwork I still need to get turned in for my MSN applications, what needs to be done around the house....I am more distracted, though. The more one has in life, the more distractions one has.

What I really hate is when I'm getting report and I know more about the patient than the offgoing RN, just from glancing through their chart for 60 secs that am. I swear some of them never look at anything past the eMar. Not most-most are awesome, but some....you wonder how they got their degree in the first place.

I never (and never would) read Lean In. I'm too busy advancing on my career. I've never felt discriminated against, either. Again, just too busy getting crap done to look for it, in life.

A chance to be mentored, to succeed in my male dominated field, to get entry level positions that will move me up. All of them wanted me to move up and run projects. They like me. They hire me.

Who has been trying to sabotage me from day 1? A black woman in her early 30s that's a fucking office manager. A white woman in her 50s who does admin tasks. Neither position has anything to do with mine. I need their help for ADMIN tasks, outside of that I run projects with men. I fuck up? They point out my errors and not those of my male colleagues. The owner is usually asleep and doesn't give a shit during our meetings. He loves me.

This has been my experience in a male dominated field.. Maybe it's different in teaching or nursing. I don't know. I work with very few women and they do admin tasks. No reason to come after me. I'm annoyed with them and my female friends in male dominated fields tell me the same.

What are the stats for men with children Amy? Cause I gotta say after two weeks with minimal sleep I have trouble ordering a pizza.

I was really smart, once . . . once . . .

Men understand about hierarchies and embrace them. Why? In ancient times for hunting or war or defense, if you had a strong leader you were more likely to succeed/win/not starve. So men will acknowledge and follow a strong leader. I have even seen men push a good leader to the front who did not want to lead. Men elect their team captain based on size, strength, smarts, and experience.
Traditionally, the equation has been completely different for women. They depended on their husband and to an extent their extended families. Not teams of other women.