Man Ashamed Of His Own Balls (Wherever They Might Be) Engages In Overthink And Masochism Over Backyard Weenie Roasts
Yes, I'm blogging about that pathetic Slate piece by pathetic "I'm a male feminist" Joseph Brogan, who lays down paragraph after paragraph about his shame in heating food outside on a grill.
I still suspect he'll come out in a couple days and say this was all a big joke -- "Hey, dummies, didn't you get that it was satire?"
Here's a sample -- brief, since you've probably already read the thing, and also, because it's such a pathetic read:
I hate how much I love to grill. It's not that I'm inclined to vegetarianism or that I otherwise object to the practice itself. But I'm uncomfortable with the pleasure I take in something so conventionally masculine....I take food prep a little too seriously, curtly brushing others out of the way when I step up to the kitchen counter. In my online dating days, I tried to spin this fault as a feature, describing myself as "a finicky, meticulous cook." On reflection, I'm probably just kind of a jerk, but when I'm grilling I worry that I've become something even worse. Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man? Have I become some sort of monster?
Yes, a real Dr. Mengele of the hot dog roast.
Feminism, as of late, is largely about making men feel badly for being male -- when you can't have them demoted or forced out of jobs for "crimes" that they didn't actually commit, as in the cases of Sir Tim Hunt and Bora Zivkovic before him (whose name has yet to be cleared -- but needs to be).
But when feminists aren't making "male feminists" (which is a bit like being a black, Jewish, white supremicist) ashamed for being male, these dutiful pussymen step up and self-shame...sometimes in lengthy Slate articles like this one.
More from Brogan's gnashing, complete with obligatory anthro wordery:
[Men's] grills become symbolic meeting points. They enable what scholars call homosocial contact, a kind of same-sex intimacy that deflects the supposed dangers of sexual contact between men but allows them to confirm their masculinity by excluding women.
I got a little girlwoody when he used the word "homosocial." (Translation: It's a bro thing.)
This is the most pathetic piece I have read in a long time.
I still suspect the guy was joking.
Real men don't have thoughts as Brogan describes. Ever. What a pussy.
Actual Man at July 24, 2015 12:58 PM
Amy,
I beg to differ with you. This article that I am linking to wins the award for most pathetic piece ever written by a "man." It wins mostly bc I pretty sure this guy means every word of it.
http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/what-open-marriage-taught-one-man-about-feminism.html
Sheep Mom at July 24, 2015 1:31 PM
On reflection, I'm probably just kind of a jerk, but when I'm grilling I worry that I've become something even worse. . . . Have I become some sort of monster?
It depends. If you're grilling live puppies or your neighbor's little kid then the answer is yes.
JD at July 24, 2015 1:37 PM
The sad irony here is that the collateral damage of feminism includes legions of females ... single women who complain they can't find real men. They're right. They've all been pussified by feminism and it's MSM cheerleaders.
Jim Simon at July 24, 2015 1:58 PM
Yeah, the "Paolo sleeps with my wife and I don't object" is the more pathetic of the two. But that's just a race to the bottom. "See? I'm not as pathetic as that loser!"
Am I shoving others out of the way because it makes me feel like a man?
There's a simpler explanation: you're a control freak when it comes to your cooking. This is not necessarily a bad thing.
If you're grilling live puppies or your neighbor's little kid then the answer is yes.
Grilling puppies would be bad. The kid...depends...what did s/he do? they may deserve a good grilling. I perfer to marinate them minimum of 6 hours in a cocoa-cola & and seasonings brine and...wut? they're quite tasty when you slow cook them.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 24, 2015 2:39 PM
Editor: "Hey, Joe, deadline's coming up - what have you got for us?"
Joe: "Um ... um ... um ... wait! I got it! Grilling is macho and ... um ... I'm ashamed!"
Editor: (heavy sigh) "Okay, we need the filler. Go for it."
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 24, 2015 2:40 PM
I don't think it's necessarily a joke, maybe just tongue-in-cheek. He's a smart guy and this is how he trolls to get a conversation started. See for instance his Time article on being ashamed of his Twitter feed: http://time.com/3735826/twitters-tango-with-shame/
His piece is well written but the rhetoric isn't simple enough for him to build much of a feminist cult following.
Canvasback at July 24, 2015 3:03 PM
The fact you are debating whether it is real or not is pretty telling statement about the state of our culture.
Bill O Rights at July 24, 2015 3:42 PM
"Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if there's danger involved." ~ Rita Rudner
Conan the Grammarian at July 24, 2015 3:47 PM
Caitlyn wants to meet the one that cooks (even she has limits).
Bob in Texas at July 24, 2015 4:34 PM
Sheep Mom, I agree. You found the most pussified piece ever on the internet. I don't whether to congratulate you for finding it or extend my sympathies that you read it.
JD, made me laugh out loud. So cut it out, right now.
Patrick at July 24, 2015 4:36 PM
Stories like these (Amy's link and Sheep Mom's) are going to put The Onion out of business.
charles at July 24, 2015 5:20 PM
My 6 year old son spent a good 30 mins after his bath tonite running around naked, grabing his penis and pointing it at everyone he saw, pretending to shoot them with it. Yep, it's a penis AND a weapon! Better lock him up now.
He got his own grill-a real one-on his 5th birthday. He can do a mean steak (supervised, of course).
Feminists may think I'm the worst parent ever and raising a horrible "man", but my son will never ever worry about the possible meaning behind a harmless fun activity. (neither will my girls, but hey, this is about males)
momof4 at July 24, 2015 8:14 PM
Amy Alkon
https://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/07/man-ashamed-of.html#comment-6120965">comment from momof4momof4, I just LOVED reading that. Hilarious.
Joyce Benenson (sex differences researcher who is scientific and evidence-based rather than PC) notes in her book "Warriors and Worriers" that preschool teachers find that if you don't give boys guns to play with, they'll end up shooting imaginary bullets out of a doll's head.
I love that.
And great that you got him a grill.
Amy Alkon
at July 24, 2015 9:26 PM
The article Sheep Mom linked to made my skin crawl. It seems like Michael Sonmore is trying desperately to rationalize his shame or think of reasons not to commit suicide.
I think he, like all feminists, actually believes all of the most condescending, sexist stereotypes of women - the article is full of them - and hates everything about women that makes them different from men.
He and his wife may be legally married, but he's no husband; he's her bitch. There are women in the same pathetic situation he's in, and feminists have nothing but pity and contempt for them.
I bet "Paulo", his wife's lover, is no feminist.
Ken R at July 25, 2015 4:34 AM
Sheepmommy, the only thing I could think about, reading that article, was Amy Schumer saying she might be 160 lbs, but she can "catch a dick any time she wants, it's not even a problem". She's right. I bet this man, and a lot, if not most, of the men who wanted open marriages before their wives did and talked them into it, find that the women get far more partners.
That dude is one sad sack.
momof4 at July 25, 2015 6:40 AM
OMG. Snorting coffee out my nose + cackling. Between your post and the comments, I'm in hysterics.
Another Amy at July 25, 2015 9:27 AM
Now I feel like I want to go fuck a Char Broil! Maybe I'll call my male BFF and engage in some carnal home erotic barbecue rape.
Mark at July 26, 2015 3:10 PM
"...single women who complain they can't find real men. "
Of course the irony there is that a lot of those women support the very feminism that causes that. (And I might add that one reason they can't find a Real Man is because such men won't accept a woman whose mind has been corrupted by today's feminism.)
Cousin Dave at July 27, 2015 7:14 AM
Leave a comment