What a load of crap. I wouldn't let my blow-up doll sign one of these Even if he could. Sorry, no pictures available.

This looks like a private contract for sex. All questions about specific performance aside, could they add space for a dollar amount?

Request a jury trial.

Only allow "frumpy" house wives w/kids under 5.

Throughout the trial show scenes from "Sleepless in Seattle" asking if Meg Ryan was:

1. stalking or "checking him out" in a safe manner,

2. was Tom Hanks a "sensitive" father,

3. point out that at no time (I think) was there a "question" about "can I kiss you" from either,

4. was the building kiss truly "assault".

Definitely allow press coverage of the trial.

The idea is to have no trial, but an administrative hearing by people who must use the OCR's stipulations, including a presumption of guilt, or be fired. I work for a college, and I would refuse to sit on one of these hearings, since I cannot put aside any accused persons' natural rights, even if the DOE wants me to.

I was late coming to this story, but director Joss Whedon (perhaps most popularly known as the director of "The Avengers" movies) recently was attacked on Twitter for his supposed sexism for his portrayal of women. Rumor has it that the attacks are what caused him to abandon his Twitter account. Whedon claims it was for other reasons.

Doubtless, feminists would attack your boyfriend as a rapist for doing what you described.

I can't help but feel that not only were these attacks unfair to Whedon, but to Scarlett Johansson. It suggests that she's so weak that she can't look out for her own interests. She either doesn't know when she's not being treated appropriately or she's such a slave to the industry that she's afraid to speak for herself, so she needs militant feminists to descend on the evil Joss Whedon for degrading her.

By suggesting that your boyfriend perpetrated some kind of sexual assault on you, they would be doing the same thing to you. Suggest that you're some femme fragile who's much too submissive to protect yourself from men who would take advantage of you, so you need the "strong" militant feminists to speak out for you.

Ultimately, these soi-disant feminists, who bear no resemblance whatsoever to the original feminists, are hurling a gross insult at any woman who is not in their ranks.

Regarding Joss Whedon's direction of Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow, as a recovering comic book junkie, I can tell you that her outfit was actually more conservative than what the Black Widow normally wears in the comics. Her outfit fits like a body stocking, or Spandex.

I do recall one scene where I took issue with the Black Widow's portrayal in the original Avengers movie. It's where Bruce Banner first hulks out on the Shield helicarrier. Black Widow flees from him (which is smart, considering he's the Hulk and she has no superpowers at all, or any weapons that could hope to even slow the Hulk down). The problem I had is that she looks like she's basically running for her life.

The Black Widow of the comic books would not have done that. She lacks the Hulk's raw power, true, but she's eminently resourceful. Even as she ran from him, she'd be plotting a way to lure him into jumping off the helicarrier, thus protecting everyone on board. Still, I can't complain about that too much. I don't have any superpowers either, and if the Hulk were chasing me, I'd be running for my life, too, without regard for any convenient means of disposing of him; I'd just run like hell.

Let's go back over the rules for men at university:

1. Keep your mouth shut.

2. Parrot back whatever the instructor says. Don't waste your time trying to make sense of it.

3. Take notes. Not just in class, but everywhere when you're on campus. Make notes of where you go, when you got there, when you left, what you did, and who saw you there.

4. Do not be alone with a woman anywhere on campus. Do not be alone with a university woman anywhere at all. Do not touch them at all, and do not allow them to touch you. Do not have them as friends. Do not offer them rides or get in a car with them. Do not converse with them on any topic not having to do with classwork. And even if the topic is classwork-related, if it can in any way be construed as relating to sex, just agree with her and say nothing further. See rule #1.

5. Have your fun off campus, with townie girls.

6. Live off campus if possible. Do not spend any more time on campus than you have to.

7. Do not attend parties or student events on campus. Do not attend any event anywhere organized by a fraternity or sorority.

8. You are there to get an education. That's all. Get your education and get the hell out of there.

"What's an 'Avenger'?" - Browncoat

Protests about how Scarlett Johansson is handled illustrates nicely how some activists have tunnel vision.

Joss' Firefly prominently featured women of every capability, from soldier to registered prostitute. I suspect the reason the show was canceled was that Inara had a female client.

"I work for a college, and I would refuse to sit on one of these hearings, since I cannot put aside any accused persons' natural rights, even if the DOE wants me to."

If you think the accused has rights, the college doesn't want you on the panel.

Alternately: do as much college online in MMOCs as possible. Avoid human interaction with other students as much as possible. Combine with 1,2,3, and 8 above. . .

Why do only college women merit these protections? Why don't non-college women deserve to be protected?

Or is this really about something other than protecting women?

Joss Whedon, didn't he create Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The story idea being one where the young blond gal saves the world from Big Bad Vampires?

Yeah, clearly he thinks women are totally incapable simpering idiots.

Of course, now that many have basically proven to him that they ARE simpering idiots, maybe he's not so much a guy who supports strong women, as one who will be stuck creating imaginary ones for lack of belief that us non-simpering gals still exist.

The trouble with the contract is it's worse than nothing. It misleads males into feeling safe, when all some nutter has to do is say "give us money or I'll say I was drunk". She doesn't need to prove she was drinking. There's no blood test - no evidence is required - it's Listen and Believe.

Any other situation they'll do a blood test. Why not this one? Isn't that interesting?

And people will do the most frightful things for the pettiest of reasons - like the group of women who tried to get a man beaten up by a mob, and then arrested as a rapist, over a $13 cab fare. He had a recording of the blackmail threat they made - it didn't help at first, but eventually he was freed. Had he not been arrested, however, the mob might have badly hurt or even killed him.

Over $13. Can't link, but search by taxi fare false rape accusation. Should be near the top.

What's funny is that these "contracts" have been known to work against victims. Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild fame) did this to a number of girls who claimed he raped them. Just put a piece of paper in front of her vaguely saying it's a "release."

@Brett Caton, that brought up three different incidents. Sheesh...

"We shall abolish the orgasm."

George Orwell, "1984"

You can get this through Amy's Mall:

http://www.amazon.com/Fleshlight-Original-Male-Masturbator-Pink/dp/B0026P3P7M

Maybe not as much fun, but safer than college girls.

Way back when I was in college, the college had this great idea that they were actually going to make contracts available - this is about the same time as Antioch (I think) had there thing going - where students just needed to fill in and sign. Until the school's head attorney heard about it. The big problem was that once signed the contracts legally meant very little. A person had the legal right to withdraw consent at any point and that could not be contracted away. There were some other legal problems and some how potentially opened up the school to liability.

The one situation where it might have been helpful was if signed while sober, then got drunk and continued to consent - and especially didn't remove consent - then it might remain in affect.

Do the people who make this Affirmative Consent stuff up actually practice it themselves? Or do they just never have sex?

"Do the people who make this Affirmative Consent stuff up actually practice it themselves?"

They don't have to, because they don't have sex with icky males.

This has got to be a parody. It just has to be. Nobody really thinks or acts like that. Do they??!!??