How Male Sexuality Has Been Turned Into Rape
Evolutionary psychology research shows over and over that women are the choosier sex. Women have a higher potential cost from any sex act. Well, here, from my syndicated column:
A single romp in the bushes could leave a woman with a hungry kid to haul around and feed. So women evolved to be the choosier sex -- to cross their legs until the man vying to be their sex partner showed he'd be likely to stick around to provide for any ensuing Neander-browed children.
This makes men the sex more likely to need to persuade a woman to have sex. In fact, this is what male sexuality, which co-evolved with female sexuality, is largely about.
So women, in turn, evolved to be commitment skeptics. But being persuaded or even fooled into having sex; that's not rape. That's "Be a little smarter next time, kitten," or "Jeez, was I ever an idiot.
But this is what is being turned into rape charges over and over again.
Cathy Young explains it with a cake metaphor at Spiked:
Suppose your friend says, 'Oh come on, just one slice. It's really delicious!' And you say, 'okay, sure'. Or maybe you keep saying, 'No, I really don't feel like it', and your friend keeps pushing, coaxing and wheedling you until you finally say yes. Maybe she uses guilt: she slaved for hours baking that cake just for you, or made the rounds of a dozen bakeries trying to find the perfect cake! Maybe she tells you you've ruined her whole evening, or just sulks and pouts visibly. Finally, you agree to eat the damn cake just to get her off your back. And maybe then she badgers you into having another slice. Or two.Is your friend being obnoxious? Sure. No one would blame you if you weren't in a rush to visit that friend again, or complained to mutual friends about how annoying her behaviour was. On the other hand, if you suddenly decided that what your friend did was no different from grabbing you by the nose and forcefeeding you cake when you opened your mouth to breathe, or forcing you to eat the cake at knifepoint... well, your mutual friends would be likely to think there was something wrong with you. And if you walked into a police station with a story about being guilt-tripped or pestered into unwanted cake-eating, they'd laugh in your face and probably tell you off for wasting valuable police time.
When it comes to sexual assault, though, respectable mainstream studies are increasingly relying on definitions that include 'arguing and pressuring the victim' into unwanted sex, or 'using guilt'. On college campuses, there are educational posters asserting that 'if you have to convince them, it's not consent' (obviously, someone doesn't get the dictionary meaning of 'convince'!), and 'if they don't feel free to say no, it's not consent'. In the media, we have rape narratives that boil down to 'I kept saying no but he kept trying until I went along with it'.
Being willing to have sex is consent. Being regretful afterward -- it's on you. Or it should be, if there was no knifepoint.
And as Cathy puts it:
If you're drunk (but sufficiently in control of your faculties to eat cake...), that's also consent. If you weren't thinking straight and ate so much cake you were sick the next day, chalk it up as a valuable learning experience.
Related, on a word usage note: "persuade" vs. "convince."
via @adamkissel
Next up, car sales people, and jewelry shops being charged with extortion for persuading you to buy expensive shit that you don't need.
Isab at December 4, 2015 7:05 AM
Men are being comprehensively demonized. Their sexuality is just one element of the Left's campaign to pin a yellow Star of David in every man. Here's a Democrat doubling-down, using the recent terror attack as a platform:
Lastango at December 4, 2015 8:01 AM
That infamous sex pest Mrs Doyle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Efmm2s3LxAk&index=9&list=PLqaJSFKzCnqSmUQm2jnbsbRVqNsTRYrl3
Rob King at December 4, 2015 8:57 AM
Is DiFi that dain bramaged?
The woman terrorist left her child behind because she was sure she could fundamentally change the USofA, and help usher in the Islamic Republic of America, and that her daughter would benefit from that change.
So that was maximally important in her calculations.
Maybe they'll give us bar code tattoos on our forearms before the send us off to the gulags. Oh, excuse me, I meant to say re-education centers.
I R A Darth Aggie at December 4, 2015 9:01 AM
Sooo...legalize prostitution the. Problemo solved.
adambein at December 4, 2015 9:55 AM
"On college campuses, there are educational posters asserting that 'if you have to convince them, it's not consent' (obviously, someone doesn't get the dictionary meaning of 'convince'!), and 'if they don't feel free to say no, it's not consent'."
Darn, I should have used that as an excuse to NOT take the tests in my college classes - I didn't feel comfortable telling the professors that I didn't want to study and that they shouldn't have forced me to take their tests or FAIL! How dare they force me to!
charles at December 4, 2015 11:43 AM
Woman walks into a bank. Hands the teller a one hundred dollar bill. Asks for five twenties in exchange. Teller says the bill is counterfeit. Woman blurts out "I've been raped!"
Yesterday's world that was a joke. Today it"s probably another example of our "rape Culture."
Jay at December 4, 2015 12:13 PM
Hello, everyone. DiFi's comments are a perfect example about how feminists don't wish to be treated as equals. They wish to be treated as special. If they do something they regret later, it's the guy's fault.
I have made decisions in my life that I regret, but I always ended up kicking myself for it, not blaming the person who persuaded me into doing it.
And DiFi is pissing me off with her attitude of "no woman would ever..." bullshit. Because she can't conceptualize doing certain things, she thinks she's the spokesman for all women so she just knows what women would or would not do. Therefore, a man must be blamed for this woman's actions.
It's as Charles once very astutely pointed out. We're dealing with a culture that believes that because they are followers of the great Allah, they should have the highest standard of living in the world, and roiling in resentment by the fact that they don't. And believe, therefore, that they are entitled to do whatever they want to adversely affect our standard of living. Acts of terror become acts of justice.
This post probably makes no sense. I had some minor surgery done this week (basal cell carcinoma removed from the back of my neck and a deviated septum repaired). Now I'm finally resting at home on some drugs that I really don't like, but the alternative is to sit here in pain. I'm going to try doing without this garbage and just take some Aleve.
I was supposed to be an outpatient, but apparently I said something rather interesting coming out of general anesthesia, which prompted them to keep me overnight. I said, but don't remember, "You know, I'm really a terrible person. I should die."
Patrick at December 4, 2015 1:42 PM
Sooo...legalize prostitution
Oppressor!
I'd say something about Rosy Palm and her five sisters, but that's probably a microaggression so...
Hey, stop laughing!
I R A Darth Aggie at December 4, 2015 1:52 PM
"'A woman is a woman. And her child has to be of maximum importance to her."
Guess she isn't aware of what's been going on in the Palestinian 'cuture.'
David Foster at December 4, 2015 3:21 PM
What about the Senators record suggests that she has a child of her own to consider?
Radwaste at December 5, 2015 2:34 AM
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