No.

Absolutely no.

TRIGGER ALERT!

Do not read more, and don't click on link unless you want to raise your blood pressure.

Since so many feminists don't know what real assault can be like here's a view:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=fd6_1452614904

Now, it seems as if the title of the video is wrong. According to some of the comments that video is NOT in Cologne. According to some of the comments it is in Egypt and the woman is a reporter covering the news. But, the inaccurate explanation does NOT change what took place; clearly that woman does NOT want to go where they are pulling/pushing her.

So, NO! having regrets about not saying no to someone about sex is not the same as the assault the reporter in the linked video experienced.

We constantly hear about "white male privilege." Well, the author of this piece has first world feminist privilege.

It's probably Egypt - note the Arabic graffiti and Arabic on other side of "no smoking" sign (at top of frame).

THIS is "rape culture."

Google "taharrush" : the Arab gang-rape game.

So, given I work a job I hate so my girl can buy stuff I dont want and neither of us need, does this mean I am a slave?

When she buys things and I say nothing encouraging and think about how much I dont want it does that mean she is engaging in the theft of my money?

@"Was I raped?
None of us could come up with a clear answer"

Not being able to come up with a clear answer doesn't necessarily mean an issue is unclear - it could just mean the people you asked are dim.

If you have to wonder for hours/days/years whether or not you were really raped, you probably weren't.

What is this passive-aggressive crap anyway, it's as if part of her wanted to do it, but part of her wanted to make sure he knew she wasn't enjoying it and wasn't attracted to him? It's kind of like she wanted to use the sex as some weird sort of put-down, I'm not even sure what to make of that. What a prude. She could have just had some casual fun plus a few fond memories, instead she's spending decades nursing some fictional sense of victim-hood.

I think she gets off on telling about it.

Um no, but he is a jerk/sleaze who deserved a definite no or a slap, which 99% of the time would end it. We are also only hearing her side or interpretations to what she was saying/doing.

"He pulled my pants down. He pulled my panties down. I provided zero assistance. (Picture trying to get a denim pantsuit off of a Barbie doll)." I've helped people get dressed and undressed, there's not much difference between someone helping and someone not doing anything. But an enormous difference if the person is even mildly resisting. Try to get a 10 yr old to put on a coat they don't want to wear, and you'd swear they had 4 arms.

@"Um no, but he is a jerk/sleaze"

Wanting sex and asking for sex from someone you want to have sex with, doesn't make you a sleaze. Actually, there's nothing in her recounting of this story that even remotely makes Dave sound like some kind of danger to other women, which is highly telling.

If I am interested in sex with a woman I let her know (whether verbally or by 'making a move'), and I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of.

Joe, are you just white knighting or do you really believe he deserves physical violence? I mean, she even said in her own words: "I never felt endangered. I was just annoyed." - she admits she felt completely safe with him.

That is not how a rape victim describes a rapist - sounds more like describing someone she thought wasn't hot enough to deserve her 'putting out' for him. It reminds me of women who brag and make a public show of it when an ugly guy hits on them, 'ew, that disgusting so-and-so hit on me, can you believe it?' type of thing.

Wanting sex and making a move does not make him a sleaze, asking for it over and over does though. It doesn't make him a rapist however.

Sleaze does not mean dangerous, just gross

I thought affirmative consent meant you asked for sex out loud, just like this guy. So if you ask for it you are sleazy but if you don't ask and just go with body language, you are a rapist? And by body language, this girl stopped saying no and stopped resisting, which to most guys is a yes. If guys can't even tell what a girl wants when she talks ("don't do anything for valentines" oh, no, that's a trap) how the hell can a guy be sure about body language?
In the real world, guys are expected to make the first move 90% of the time. Guys who are too shy stay single. Most guys know this.

@"Sleaze does not mean dangerous"

Yes, but the term 'rapist' does.

", just gross"

Bingo.

@"asking for it over and over does though"

Usually yes, but (and I'll get flak for saying this) not always - it depends on the situation. I mean, consider a (different) situation where a woman is with, say, a really hot guy (or high status guy e.g. celebrity) and she kind of does actually want to sleep with him, but she doesn't want to immediately give in (e.g. because she doesn't want to seem too 'easy', or because she enjoys the feeling of being chased a bit, etc.) ... so there's a little back and forth, but it's genuine consent.

90% of the time I'll back off immediately if a woman says no the first time, but it depends .. if I think there's a chance that it might pay off to 'try again a little later', I have on occasion done so (sometimes with positive results, sometimes with negative results).

Considering that this woman did in fact let Dave have sex with her at the time, sounds like Dave read the situation just right. He didn't at the time realize she was crazy.

@"I thought affirmative consent meant you asked for sex out loud, just like this guy. So if you ask for it you are sleazy ... In the real world, guys are expected to make the first move 90% of the time"

Yup, so you can either be a 'gentleman' who falls for all this feminist claptrap and never get laid because you're terrified of not having absolute signed consent from every cell in a woman's body, or you can try go out and enjoy your life, with fun women who aren't feminists.

She's an idiot. No, it was NOT rape. She didn't resist, say no, put up a fight. Then afterward, she stayed there with him working on their music. It sounds like she was seeking the opinion of other idiots as well, or they would have been able to answer that clearly for her.

Asking over and over and over with (according to her) her saying no, and him continuing, does make him sleazy. Sometimes this is because what she is saying isn't actually "No". Too many women will say nothing, or say I'm tired, or I'm doing my hair to mean no.
Did his behavior warrant a definite "no"? yes a slap? maybe, someone pulling down my pants/underwear is initiating physical touching. According to her she effectively said no if that doesn't get the message across a more strenuous no is called for, a slap is a definite no. Instead it sounds like she may have been giving less definite answers.

Just what is a "private group of women writers"? Writers that nobody can read?

There's no situation in which it's acceptable and appropriate to slap a man, just like there's no situation in which it's acceptable and appropriate to slap a woman.

You don't slap people that you think might be dangerous, you slap people that you think are not dangerous to you. Would you e.g. walk up and slap a bouncer? No, because you know they'll pound your damn head in.

Likewise one would not try to take the pant's and underwear off of a bouncer, without expecting to get ones head pounded in. A slap would be the least the bouncer would do.

In my opinion this wasn't even remotely rape, but I do support the idea of affirmative consent. Mostly because this poor guy has now been identified as a possible rapist when all he did was have consensual sex with an unenthusiastic partner. However, in this case, even if she said yes there are many people who would still categorize this as a rape, because she had previously expressed her disinterest and he kept asking.

She says she felt in no way threatened or unsafe, yet she never used her words or resisted in any way. From her description of the experience, it seems that had she simply said "no," he would've stopped.

@Beth "I do support the idea of affirmative consent"

But under the feminists' definition of 'affirmative consent', Dave would be in prison.

I thought affirmative consent meant you asked for sex out loud, just like this guy.

No affirmative consent means you have to stop and ask permission before doing something more.

IE you have to ask for permission to kiss.

You then have to stop and ask for permission to use tounge

You then have to stop and ask for permission to kiss her ears

You then have to stop and ask for permission to kiss her neck

You then have to stop and ask for permission to grope her over the clothes

You then have to stop and ask for permission to unbutton her shirt

You then have to stop and ask for permission to take off her shirt

Ect, ect, ad nausem, ad infinitum, for EACH AND EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY NEW ACTION.

And she must verbally say yes at every junction, and she can not be under the "influence" of ANY drug (legal or not) or alcohol.

Meaning if she has taken so much as a single 81mg aspirin or a single sip of a drink that has a single molecule of alcohol in it she no longer has the capacity to give consent.

Nor does she have the oblation to inform you if she has taken any OTC or prescription drugs.

This is s woman so desperate to be considered a victim that she can't let go of something that happened 17 yeas ago that might, if interpreted in a certain way, entitle her to membership in the club. And she really wants into that club.

Make no mistake. This is the beginning of a push to expand "affirmative consent" from college campuses to the general population. The feminist victory over men is nearly complete -- ensuring at the end of the day that most women will be losers.

@"The feminist victory over men is nearly complete"

The battle is only lost if everyone gives in.

"Do you have to be attracted to me to have sex with me?" he asked, looking down at his guitar.

"Well. Yeah," I said. "That's usually how that goes."

Usually how that goes? Wait a sec, that can't be true. That runs counter to what so many women love to say: that when a man has confidence, he's sooooo sexy, that it makes what he looks like irrelevant.

"The battle is only lost if everyone gives in."

Well, a battle can be lost if the soldiers decide that the objective is not worth fighting for.