Breaking Moth
I'm having a "Breaking Bad" morning. No, I am not cooking meth to get ahead on the writing. It's the fly episode, only I just relived it with a sweater-eating fucker AKA a moth. (I think he may just have suffered death by broom. Let's hope so.)
P.S. For the record, I do not kill spiders. They do not eat clothes, which I think is damn polite of them.
MORE: About that fly episode, the most annoying one on "Breaking Bad," there's a name for that kind of thing -- a "bottle episode."
A "bottle episode" is designed to take up as little money as possible. The easiest way to go about this is to use only the regular cast (or even just part of the regular cast) and set it in a single location, especially if you have a main standing set. This keeps production costs down, because no one needs to scout locations, build new sets, or create fancy CGI graphics of the outside of the spaceship. Bottle episodes are often a chance for a slow, characterization-filled episode before/after a big special-effects-laden action episode. Of course, all this doesn't mean the episode will be cheap, just that it's meant to be; like any regular episode, unforeseen complications can cause the show to run over the scheduled budget.Note that the term has become synonymous with "single-location" episode, even though bottle episodes can (theoretically) have as many locations as a normal episode. All that matters is that it costs less, because the money is having to pass through a "bottleneck". The Star Trek cast and crew call this a "ship-in-a-bottle" episode, which is where the name originated.
Typically, effects-heavy shows such as Star Trek will hold off on the bottle episodes until near the end of a given season, saving the Big Money for mid-season cliffhangers and special guests.
Bottle episodes are known as a challenge and/or a chore, depending on the writer. Since most/all of the episode is set in a single location (sometimes even entirely in one room) with a smaller than usual cast, the dialogue (regarded as one of the harder things to write) needs to be better and tighter than in other episodes since the writer can't really do anything else with the cast. Depending on the writer and how well the premise works out, bottle episodes can range from terrible, to some of the best episodes of their shows and even their franchises.
The truly annoying thing about the fly episode? Here's this really smart guy, Walt -- a chemistry prof -- who can't figure out what I wrote in "Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck": "You catch more flies with a Dustbuster."
In today's case, it was a little early to get out the stepladder and get on my desk, plus I have neighbors eight feet away who might hear the Dustbuster, so I broomed the little bugger. (I hope.) He dropped behind something big and thousand-pound'y, so I'm he doesn't have one of those little "I've fallen down and I can't get up!" call buttons around his little fucking insect neck.
We had some cedar put in our coat closet. It's not very expensive if you use the chipboard cedar. It does make the closet darker, though.
Cousin Dave at March 3, 2016 6:21 AM
The moth just called to say:
She tasks me. She tasks me, and I shall have her. I'll chase her round the Moons of Nibia and round the Antares Maelstrom and round Perdition's flames before I give her up!
Pro tip: if you can't find the villain's body, the villain is still breathing.
Bonus tip: if you find yourself in a horror movie, and you think you've killed the villain, chop his head of and stick it on a pike.
Just to be sure.
I R A Darth Aggie at March 3, 2016 6:56 AM
He's behind my big black file cabinet with the shelf on top. Don't think I can get back there. Grrr. Very disturbed.
I have cedar -- and apparently very delicious sweaters. I also have wool rugs around the house, including some antique ones that are apparently quite tasty.
Luckily, dogs just like chewing on garbage, and when your dog is five pounds, it's not hard to keep her and your garbage apart.
Amy Alkon at March 3, 2016 6:58 AM
"I have cedar -- and apparently very delicious sweaters."
Not being a moth, but being approximately normal in many respects, I believe that - when you're in 'em!
About small sets, though: Hitchcock's Rope never leaves three rooms. Is so absorbing that sailors used to action films on patrol said, "Can we see that one again?"
Radwaste at March 3, 2016 8:51 AM
Living in North Florida, I never had to contend with moths. Apparently the bats ate them before they got into my house. So, I never got used to the idea of hiding things from insects.
I moved to California and soon discovered moth holes in my best suit. Damn, that was a nice suit. Was.
Now, I put cedar in all the closets (cedar blocks) and hange my woolen coats in a "moth-proof" hanging storage device in my closet and store my sweaters in boxes. The moths eating my wool rugs is something I hadn't though of.
Conan the Grammarian at March 3, 2016 9:32 AM
Apparently the bats ate them before they got into my house.
This is not necessarily a feature.
And thanks, Raddy!
Amazing about Rope. I don't think I've ever seen that - have to put it on the list.
Amy Alkon at March 3, 2016 9:44 AM
Moth news: Sneaky little fucker was not dead. He/she/ze (in case of insect gender fluidity) was apparently napping. Just showed his little insectarian self. Again chased with broom, but managed to broom him out the front door this time.
So, ultimately, he lives to eat another sweater, but it won't be one of mine. Not today anyway.
-Amy Alkon, defender of fine cashmere and woolen items
Amy Alkon at March 3, 2016 9:54 AM
A squeeze bottle with a fine squirt nozzle - what lab rats call a 'wash bottle' - filled with isopropyl alcohol will kill most insects stone dead. With just a little practice, you'd be amazed at how accurate you can be, even at ranges of 10-15 feet. And the alcohol evaporates quickly and doesn't hurt most household things, or clothing.
In a drawing office I used to frequent, this was actually a sport among the pencilmen, who posted insect scores on their cubicle walls, like fighter pilots used to paint little swastikas on the side of their aircraft.
llater,
llamas
llamas at March 3, 2016 11:05 AM
"I'll get you, my pretty! And your little dog too!"
Must confess I've never heard the term "bottle eposide", although if I had I'd know right away what it describes.
Cousin Dave at March 3, 2016 11:08 AM
Cousin Dave: We had some cedar put in our coat closet.
It's like a version of rock-paper-scissors (or, as we called it when I was growing up in St. Paul, the more alliterative and lyrical scissors-stone-and-paper):
moth beats wool, cedar beats moth, wool beats cedar (OK, we don't know about that last one but it has to be there to give wool a winning hand.)
Amy: only I just relived it with a sweater-eating fucker AKA a moth.
Agreed. I hate those little bastards. At least nature gave the larvae an appetite for fabric made from animal fibers instead of cotton. So you've lost a great sweater but at least your cherished jeans are safe from the voracious MFs.
JD at March 3, 2016 9:38 PM
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