How do you know if someone you've met is a cross-fitter, a vegan, an atheist, or a born-again Christian?

It will be the first thing they tell you.

There are two people you don't wanna be next to at a party -- somebody who's gone to Harvard or somebody who's in recovery, because chances are, they'll tell you immediately.
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I can't speak for the latter, but how do you know about the former?

I've known dozens of Harvard students and they were all quite modest and well-mannered. They don't even try to outdo Each Other in conversation. I doubt they try to do that with anyone who hasn't gone to an Ivy League college, either.

Boobs.

Lenona. Sister.

We've had participants in these comments who betray your characterization.

I had an experience with this (Yale) at a cocktail party last summer that will live with me until the day I die.

Yes, well, the reason we don't tell anecdotes about well-mannered people is that there's no story there, right?

In other words, maybe the outrageous stories that get told here are the exception, not the rule.

I can, however, tell of one case where a man's incredible politeness and friendliness surprised me a bit - when I met George Carlin. He would even ask you questions about yourself. (Quite a contrast to Wendy Kaminer, I'm sorry to say - I've met both of them twice.)

So Lenona, when was the last time anyone complained about an Ohio State grad bragging about his alma mater? Sounds like never because it never happens. The incident rate of Harvard grads bragging is quite high compared to any other school. Does every Harvard grad do it, no. But plenty do.

> Quite a contrast to Wendy Kaminer,
> I'm sorry to say

Deets.

We want deets.

I think this...

> In other words, maybe the outrageous
> stories that get told here are the
> exception, not the rule.

...Is transparently incorrect.

If Ivys of *any* color could be distinguished for humility, we'd be no less likely (or eager) to cite our personal experiences of them than we are their episodes of pomposity.

...Their punishing, witless, howlingly-insecure episodes of [childlike] pomposity.

Those are the episodes I mean.

I'm with Crid on this.

Conversing with so-called Ivy Leaguers is like talking to Frasier Crane and his brother Niles. Painful.

What happened to you Gog. You used to be insane. Often pants on head running down the street from the banana man who wants your bainulator. And now you are simple, clear, coherent, and rational. My world view is melting!

There are two types of Harvard alums:

Type 1:
"Hi, I'm John Smith. What's your name?"
"I'm Jane Cabot, and I went to Harvard! In fact, that wall looks just like the wall in my room at Harvard, in the House where FDR lived when he went to Harvard. This party's nice, but it's not quite as exciting as the ones at Harvard."

Type 2:
"Hi, I'm John Smith. What's your name?"
"Hi! I'm Jane Cabot."
some small talk later
"So, where did you go to school?"
"Oh, y'know, the Northeast. What about you? How 'bout them Yankees!"

Type 2 is less well-known because the Harvard connection often remains unknown to outsiders. But there are many Type 2s among alums. Mentioning "Harvard" is often a conversation bomb that strangles all further interesting interaction; most of us don't enjoy the experience.

Though, I admit: When my husband's having a hard day and I tell him how awesome he is, I sometimes follow up with, "And you should listen to me, because I know things. After all, I went to Harvard."

Okay, okay...

How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One; he stands there while the world revolves around him.

How many 'Cliffies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's Radcliffe, it's women, and it's NOT FUNNY!

...thanks. I'll be here all week.

Crid: In a nutshell, Kaminer has a lot of contempt for hero-worship or anyone searching for a guru (understandable, that), so I suspect that makes her lose patience with her fans easily. At any rate, she doesn't seem to like talking with them very much.

Marion: From Miss Manners' column, 1996:

First Mother: Where's your son going to college?

Second Mother: In the Northeast.

First Mother: Really? What house is he in?

"Often pants on head running down the street from the banana man "

I maintain that this is STILL the best banana-man defense method.