Self-confidence and self-esteem are related and have overlapping problems. Everyone should have some self-esteem because as humans we have lots of capacity to accomplish things. True self-esteem, however, should be based on accomplishments. Thinking you are god's gift to mankind when you are 15 is absurd. You are 15, you haven't accomplished anything. Thinking you are a wonderful musician when you are not (since you have high self-esteem) is called being delusional.
Confidence can derive from two sources: 1) mastery of some topic or activity and 2) knowledge that if you make a mistake you won't die and you can fix it. If you are the type of person who freezes up in front of an audience, you should not be confident about giving a speech. Instead you should go join Toastmasters. If I know how to read maps and a compass and have prepared in other ways, I can be confident when going hiking. People who are confident but are not prepared are the ones who have to be rescued.

From John Rosemond (I'm not fond of his religious tendencies, but otherwise, he makes plenty of sense):

"Some well-meaning folks suggest that there are two types of high self-esteem: a 'false' self-esteem that is a function of people patting you on the back and telling you how wonderful you are, and a 'genuine' self-esteem that is the result of significant accomplishment. In the words of a colleague and good friend, 'Genuine self-esteem comes from achievement, such as studying hard and making good grades, or practicing hard and excelling in a sport.'

"So where, I ask, does that leave the child who studies hard and still makes no better than C's? Or the child who is a klutz? Or the disabled child who has neither the mental nor physical ability to succeed at doing much more than everyday self-help tasks? No, accomplishment-based self-esteem is no better than affirmation-based self-esteem. The former is highly prejudicial, the latter is sinful-a form of self-idolatry. And make no mistake about, if you have high regard for yourself because of your accomplishments, then you are likely to have less than high regard for those who's accomplishments are not as "worthy" as your own. In which case we are again talking about self-idolatry...

"...'So, John,' the impatient reader asks. 'Answer the question: (If 'self esteem' is bad) What's good?'

"What's good is self-respect. Because it is not a function of significant accomplishment, anyone can acquire self-respect, even the C-student, the klutz, and the disabled child. Self-respect, furthermore, is not idolatrous. It is acquired not because parents praise you (although they should-conservatively), but because they love you unconditionally (as does the Lord), hold you completely responsible for your behavior (but forgive you your sinfulness), and insist that you obey (respect their authority) and mind your manners at all times (show respect for others). It is, in fact, axiomatic that self-respect cannot exist without respect for others...

"...Are self-confidence and self-respect interchangeable terms? Again, no. Self-confidence is specific to certain situations. For example, I feel very confident speaking to large groups of people, but I feel a distinct loss of confidence when I'm in deep water with sharks (I know, because I've been there, done that!). In fact, having confidence in a situation where you should not, where you should be on guard and charged with adrenaline, is foolhardy. But where self-confidence has, and should have, its ups and downs, self-respect is a constant.
The self-respecting person, rather than being 'high' on him/herself, is modest, humble, even self-effacing at times-to again cite the apostle, a person of 'sober judgment.' "

(end)

Does anyone even pay attention to those little hints pop-ups at the top of the mobile keyboard?

And does this being aimed at "talking to or about girls" mean that it's okay with using insulting and derogatory terms when talking to or about boys? If you type "My son is" on the sheboard, will it suggest "smart," "capable," or "confident?" Or will it offer to autofill "gross," "perverted," or "nerdy?"

Isn't this just an electronic version of the "Girls Rule, Boys Drool!" t-shirt?

It appears someone has found a new way to make money off of "woke" but gullible smart phone users.

> ...Are self-confidence and
> self-respect interchangeable
> terms? Again, no.

The clumsy rhetorical device of asking and then answering one's own question should summon our deep suspicion.

The deepest indeed when the answer begins with "Again,...": Our smug didact is confession to ill-formed & forgettable formulation.

ConfessING.

Still

> The clumsy rhetorical device of asking and then
> answering one's own question should summon our
> deep suspicion.

“You ask, what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land, and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy."

--Winston Churchill, clumsy rhetorician who summons our deep suspicion

Who cares. If someone likes using this, let them. Not sure why it offends you so much.

It must be increasingly embarrassing to be a woman these days, as feminists imply that women are fragile, pathetic creatures who would simply collapse without constant support and validation.

Think of those wind-dancers in front of car dealerships, and what happens when you turn the fan off.

"Not sure why it offends you so much."

Well, NicoleK, it isn't offense, as such. More that one mustn't let an opportunity to demonstrate smug superiority be wasted.

But, hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, right?

Who cares. If someone likes using this, let them. Not sure why it offends you so much. ~ NicoleK at March 28, 2018 10:30 AM

It's not so much the actual product that irks, but the ascendancy of the ideas behind it - and the validation of those ideas that such a product represents.

It's silly. There, I said it.

Totally OT whine: Our net-nanny software at work is now blocking advicegodess.com. This may limit my ability to participate in the future. My apologize, but there's nothing I can do about it.

> Snoopy at March 28, 2018 10:01 AM

This is like that time the troubled peacetime military retiree Pelto came here and quoted, at length, the "fuckhead" speech from a A Few Good Men to demonstrate the authenticity of his martial worldliness...

Twice. In one week.

Unfortunately, the archives here have been badly scrambled. I might be able to look it up on my own disk if you pay my rate.

($145/hr.)

($275/hr for Ben, Snoop, and Raddy.)

($15/hr for Amy & Gregg.)

THIS again! I got something these folks can affirm RIGHT HERE!

http://www.jimjambo.com/NotThisCrapAgain6.jpg

"I might be able to look it up on my own disk if you pay my rate."

Hard to believe you have a marketable skill, given that you're apparently the #1 commenter here for the last eon.

/snark

You should worry a lot about how much money I have. Also my sex life, my diet and athletic fulfillments, the books and music I enjoy, my career... The whole enchilada, Raddy.

Why?