> More proof that almost no one
> wants to steal a child

That's a fabulous line. Kids are so very, very easy to come by, it's a crazy distortion to think your own kids are so precious that you should cripple their development because you'd feel bad if something happened.

I totally left the kids in the car (still do but they are bigger now), but it was a "depends on the shop" sort of thing. Big shopping mall lot? No. Small local shop? Yes.

Perhaps I'm in a mood, but I found nothing even slightly amusing about this story.

Basically, you're arguing for the right to leave the kids in the car and the engine running while you run a quickie errand.

How about you just not do that instead? You brought the kids into the world; they are going to frequently be inconvenient to you. Deal with it. I don't care how often this happens. It's a completely preventable situation.

And I'm not the least bit convinced that 99.99% of the time this turns out all right. What more often happens is that the "quickie errand" turns out to be "not so quickie" when Mommy remembers something else she can do "real quick" or remembers something else she forgot to put on the shopping list and decides to go back and get it "real quick."

If a child is too little to be able to exist the vehicle on their own in an emergency then they are too little to be left unattended.

Patrick is right on this one.

Plus, at a time when curb side pickup is the norm due to the existing pandemic there is no reason on earth why the mother would even have to exit her vehicle to get a bottle of milk.

This was unwise... I don't think it rises to the level of a crime for the mother... but this was really dumb and unnecessary.

Or maybe she knows what kind of child she has.

Chances are that that child is the type that rage screams and/or shits on the store's floor when it wants something but the mom says "no" and she doesn't want the headache to drive back home with a screeching beast.

Or maybe she knows what kind of child she has.

Chances are that that child is the type that rage screams and/or shits on the store's floor when it wants something but the mom says "no" and she doesn't want the headache to drive back home with a screeching beast.

And maybe she should have considered that possibility before she decided to recreate herself in miniature.

Other parents deal with these situations. You know this because obviously, you've seen this before.

Tough shit.

In all honesty, I generally won't leave my little in the car unless I can see it (like at a walk-up ATM) because I'm paranoid about someone calling the police or CPS on ME.
My 11-year-old is already adult-sized and is very responsible, so I can leave her in the car alone or with her little sisters to run into a store. She can sit in the front seat, and I leave the car running and locked.
Hauling a toddler around to run errands really is a pain in the butt. Getting them in and out of the car seat, dealing with them in the store... everything takes longer. I try to avoid taking my littlest one if I can avoid it.

Leaving the car running and unlocked with the keys in it was the dumbest part of this. Yes, there are inherent dangers in leaving a child in a car beyond car jacking - and the mother seemed aware of those. There are inherent dangers in life itself.

I know many of us beyond a certain age were sometimes allowed to wait in the car while Mom ran an errand. On our weekly trips to and from the library, my mother would let us wait in the car and read our books while she ran into the store to grab a few items. If she knew she'd be a while, we had to go in with her, much to our consternation and great annoyance. She never left the car running and she never stayed more than a few minutes. Now, whether she did this when we were four, I can't say.

I'd say anything in raising children involves a gamble. Let them play outside unsupervised and you risk all sorts of dangers. Keep them penned up inside and under constant supervision and you risk boredom and long-term health problems like obesity. Planning their day to the least second risks stifling their independence, imagination, and curiosity.

Leaving children in the car risks several dangers, but dragging a child into the store also risks a few - e.g., losing them if they pull away or wander off. You cannot predict what's going to happen either way. However, you can predict what's likely to happen if you leave your keys in the car, the door unlocked, and the car running in a store parking lot.

My car has a remote start, so I can leave it running with the doors locked and the keys firmly in my grasp. The mother in this case might want to look into a car with that feature.

Luckily for the mother in this one, the carjacker brought the child back. The mother's actions can be debated, but it sounds like she tried to take precautions while balancing her child's comfort and safety with the expedience of getting an errand run; and this roll of the dice almost came up craps.

I won't condemn her, but I won't praise her parenting skills either.

==========

...doesn't want the headache to drive back home with a screeching beast. ~ Sixclaws at January 20, 2021 5:33 AM

Put that on the kid's tombstone.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐒𝐒𝐒𝐒???!?!?!

And jobs.

> I try to avoid taking my littlest
> one if I can avoid it.

Sincere props to AHW, but this is what I was getting at. Less exposure the real world, even from withing the care of the thoughtful woman who loves the child most of all.

Everybody happy?

loving, not withing.

Distracted by daydreams of the notices of legal action being passed to 45 this afternoon. He steps off the helicopter: "You're SERVED!", and an envelope drops into his hand.

He opens a door: "You're SERVED!", and an envelope drops into his hand.

He turns a corner: "You're SERVED!", and an envelope drops into his hand.

He turns to his wife: She's gone, but someone says "You're SERVED!", and an envelope drops into his hand.

Eh. I'm not going to take a toddler to the grocery store when her dad is just hanging out watching football at home. The older two can come if they want to.

I agree leaving the car running and unlocked was weird. I've never done that. But I really don't think it's something people really need to worry about either.

Man I remember the days she'd be asleep when we got home and I didn't want to wake her, so I'd sit in the car in the driveway with a book. (She was a terrible napper). Didn't get much shit done back then!!!!!

Lenona had posted a link to this story in a previous thread.

And this, to me — and I’m sure to many others — is the hilarious part:

"He actually lectured the mother for leaving the child in the car and threatened to call the police on her," the spokesman, Matt Henderson, told The Oregonian.

I posted that story three days ago - here.

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2021/01/linkicide-1.html#comments

And, ahw, that reminds me of an anecdote I heard of a few years ago - I wish I could track it down. The mother (of small children) was going to leave the house to do errands. The dad was watching TV. He said something like "c'mon, can't you take the kids with you?"

She went semi-ballistic - maybe he hadn't done any housework that day, while she'd been doing a lot and was already feeling frazzled. I don't remember. What I DO remember was what one commentator said, under the article:

"He just wanted to jack off."

> I've never done that. But I
> really don't think it's
> something people really need
> to worry about either.

✔

And, the following story is essentially unrelated, but there's a similar mentality involved - namely, the idea that wives/girlfriends supposedly WANT children who aren't theirs.

I can't remember, offhand, if I posted this story before. Yes, it's from Reddit, but there is now an update that sounds pretty convincing.

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/j6vfgj/husband_decided_hes_raising_his_nephew_with_or/

Original story:

"Me, (40f) and my husband (40m) married for 17 years, are strictly CF (childfree) and happy (so I thought). A bit of backstory, won't get into the dirty details, but his nephew (15) has been living with FIL for a year and they now decide it's not working (he's too much to handle, has issues, parents total deadbeats) and it's us or foster care.
"Husband (without even speaking to me) says we will take him. He is also somewhat special needs so will not be a matter of at 18 we're in the clear. I am sick over this. Devastated doesn't even begin to express my current state of mind. I am obviously going to be divorcing him. My entire life's plan has been shattered overnight. I am not only losing my husband, but have come to realize I mean absolutely nothing to him. The life we have built together means nothing. Our vows, love, sacrifices, all of it! Nothing! Seventeen years I have wasted on this marriage.
"I don't know what to do or where to start. Mortgage is up in March, so selling will be out of the question until then (I refuse to lose more money on this) thanks to covid, can't afford to move out until then.
"Just tell me it will be ok..."

Turns out there's a SECOND update from two weeks ago - somehow, I forgot. (It's about the ex-husband's reaction.)

https://old.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/kqexxf/update_from_husband_decided_hes_raising_his_nephew/

And...yikes, does that nephew have problems. Chances are, as some have pointed out, the man would never have offered to take his nephew had he realized he would have to do even HALF the work - never mind most of it.

And...yikes, does that nephew have problems. Chances are, as some have pointed out, the man would never have offered to take his nephew had he realized he would have to do even HALF the work - never mind most of it. ~ Lenona at January 20, 2021 12:03 PM

A lot of people don't realize what it means to provide full-time care for a damaged human being. They think it's like taking care of a dog - feed it, walk it, and it will stay mostly in the yard or the doghouse while you get things done around the house or chat with friends.

The thing about taking care of a seemingly adult human being completely incapable of caring for itself is that you lose yourself in it. Your focus is entirely on them. You become the caretaker and nothing else. Forget having a hobby or some time with friends, or even a few minutes to yourself. Years will go by before you'll realize how lost you are, because there's no end to it but death. A child grows up; an Alzheimers sufferer doesn't.

According to my friends with kids, taking the little ones into a store these days is extra hellish during a pandemic, because they're likely to pull off their masks (thus risking the parent AND child getting thrown out for violating the store's mask policy). Also, they touch e-ver-y thing. And then touch their mucous membranes.

My mom left me and my sister in the car starting from like age 5 during the entire weekly grocery haul, assuming the weather was nice enough that we could survive inside a car. If she came back and we were pulling each other's hair, our punishment was that we had to go IN to the store with her the next time b/c we couldn't be trusted on our own. Good behavior was rewarded with being allowed to sit in the car and read books/play travel-sized boardgames.

We lived in a very small town, though, with almost non-existent crime.

Up until a few ears ago, when my areas demographics changed, it was common in winter to go in shopping and leave keys in car, running, and expect to still have car when getting back to it. Everyone did it. Chances of having car stolen, was lesser, than probablity stopped car would not restart in minus 20 weather.
Now it is different as people who are moving in do not share our vaplues, and are feeling entitled to get something for nothing.

My parenting rule of thumb: would I leave my wallet there alone, in sight? No? Then not leaving my young kid there alone.

So: glass-fronted convenience store? Sure. Wal-Mart parking lot? Nope.

In a freackin unlocked running car?? I assume she WANTED the kid stolen.

In a freackin unlocked running car?? I assume she WANTED the kid stolen.

You're saying the quiet part out loud.

Am I the first to think of "The Ransom of Red Chief"?

Conan, thanks for that comment. Beer or coffee one day.

Conan, thanks for that comment. Beer or coffee one day. ~ Crid at January 20, 2021 4:29 PM

Always.

Conan, thanks for that comment. ~ Crid at January 20, 2021 4:29 PM

I watched my mother-in-law care for her mother with Alzheimers. Grandma lasted over ten years in a child-like state. When it was over, MIL was a little lost, her entire raison d'être for the past decade of her life now gone. She had to reinvent herself.

"So: glass-fronted convenience store? Sure. Wal-Mart parking lot? Nope."

This is my neighborhood! (No, I wasn't the one that jacked the car) Of course leaving it running was the genius move, but for what it's worth, this store *is* glass fronted with a tiny parking lot.

gc did it. Lookit 'em.