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Who Wears The Panties In The Family?

My husband of five months is a wonderful man and a great partner, but he does something kind of different I wanted your advice on: He sometimes likes to wear my panties. He swears he’s not gay; he just says they feel really good on his skin, and wearing them makes him feel closer to me. It’s okay with me; I just find it a little odd, and hope he’s never in an accident and has to explain why he’s wearing panties. Is this just a phase? Am I crazy for being okay with it?

--Wondering Wife

There’s a U.S. senator who can’t speak publicly unless he’s wearing pantyhose. He was a patient of Dr. William Stayton, a psychologist and leading expert on cross-dressing. “Underneath his blue suit and tie he wore pantyhose and a bra and women’s underwear,” Stayton told me in a recent interview. “He was always worried somebody would lift his pant leg and see his pantyhose. But it was the only way he could calmly speak before the Senate.”

So, one man’s Prozac is another man’s pantyhose. So what? My boyfriend compared the senator’s cross-dressing to his own penchant for hats. “When I wear my Henschel High Roller I have a totally different outlook. You swagger a bit, you just know you’re cool. I take the hat off, and I’m just another guy.”

Nobody worries about a guy in a hat unless they’re in a bank and the hat happens to be a ski mask. And how about all those female executives who “dress for success” in male business drag? Maybe because we identify femininity with weakness but value masculine strength and power, nobody looks squinty-eyed at a woman in pinstripes -- or gives a second thought to women like me, who’ve been donning Calvin Klein boxer briefs for years.

No, I haven’t been wearing them on the senatorial sly, under my clothes. They‘re the workout shorts I march around in at the gym. And don’t forget that sexy staple of chick flicks, the “morning after” shot of the woman drinking coffee while wearing the man’s big white shirt as a nightie. Of course, aside from specialty e-tailers like manties.com, nobody would dream of selling men lace-trimmed, day-of-the-week undies in hibiscus pink -- or making movies where Keanu, Matthew or Will walks out in the woman’s lavender teddy and matching maribou mules.

As your husband keeps insisting, just because a guy comes out of the closet in the wife’s panties it doesn’t mean he’s gay. While the public face of cross-dressing is flaming drag queens like Ru Paul, most cross-dressers are straight. In a 1997 survey of cross-dressers by Richard F. Docter and Virginia Prince, 87 percent said they were heterosexual. Stayton estimates the number to be “at least 95 percent.” Not only that, 60 percent of Docter and Prince’s respondents were married, and 69 percent had kids. In an earlier study by Prince, 19 percent reported playing high school or college football. At least one married cross-dresser played professional basketball. That, of course, would be Dennis Rodman, who goes through more false eyelashes and feather boas than the chorus line at the Tropicana.

Cross-dressers like your husband typically spend much of their week looking like the average Joe, not the not-so-average Jacqueline. Most enjoy being men, and have no interest in a sex change. Stayton, who counsels many of them, says they’re often in very male-oriented occupations – like fireman, trucker, or high-powered businessman -- they just have a feminine side they need to express to feel whole. For some, this comes out as early as age 5, and no, it’s not a phase, although they may do it more or less at different times in their lives. Some do find it erotic, especially at first, but many, like the senator, simply find it a pretty way to relieve tension. (Think of it as a frilly alternative to yoga or the after-work martini.)

Of course, a husband’s cross-dressing tends to have a less-than-soothing effect on a wife, especially if she comes home expecting her husband and walks in on some poorly assembled June Cleaver. If she can’t get over the betrayal, or just plain can’t deal, it’s probably the end of the marriage. She’ll blame her husband, but Stayton points to society’s “awfulizing” of cross-dressing, causing the cross-dresser to feel shame and guilt for expressing the full range of himself as a person -- and leading to secrecy and the issues that ensue. In your case, unless it stops your husband’s life -- if he quits his job and stays home admiring himself in the mirror in bouffant wigs -- what’s the problem? Sure, there could come a day when he starts stretching out your angora sweaters, or worse yet, using up all your tampons. Until then, whatever floats your boat, or makes your skirt fly up -- or your husband’s.

Posted by aalkon at May 3, 2006 6:38 AM

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Why did Joe Biden immediately come to mind?

Posted by: rebecca at May 3, 2006 11:09 AM

naw, it's probably hillary

Posted by: g*mart at May 3, 2006 5:45 PM

Thank you for a rational, frank response to this often misunderstood activity. From personal experience I can tell you that you're right on in your observation.

Thanks again


Posted by: Patricia Marie Allen at May 4, 2006 9:47 PM

Thank you so much...that means a lot.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at May 4, 2006 11:30 PM

I thank you for an intellegent look at a "taboo" social issue. It is not a disease that someone else can catch, it is just a need for some people. Very few even try to understand crossdressing without having a negative opinion and a comment. Usually that the man is gay. Which as you pointed out is not true in 95% of them. I had never even considered Dennis Rodman a cross dresser before, I just thought it was attention getting behavior. As long as that congressman keeps doing his job,I personally don't care what he wears to work.

Posted by: rhonda at May 5, 2006 7:14 AM

Yes, thanks on behalf of the crossdressers who feel we are less acceptable in many persons eyes than gay men. I've been dressing for years now and my wife knows and understands. Dare I tell the folks at the Police Department where I work? Not on a bet! They might accept me if I were gay, but not if they knew I occasionally needed to present myself appearing as a woman. Oh well, I'm not going to change so I hope your words reach lots of eyes and hearts. Thanks.

P.S. I look at Dennis Rodman as a Drag Queen, not a crossdresser. Crossdressers tend to try to not attract attention to themselves.

Posted by: Sarah at May 6, 2006 1:46 PM

Thanks so much, Sarah. It makes me sick that crossdressers are forced to remain in hiding. And I know what you're saying about Rodman, vis a vis most straight male crossdressers. I'm reminded of the CHIC ladies society, down in OC, I think -- I believe their bylaws state that you have to be ladylike, and couth, and all that!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at May 7, 2006 2:15 AM

Hi Amy,
Good advice, as per usual :-) Personally, I don't see the big deal about cross dressing. Sure, if I came home and my hubbie was in my undies I'd ask what was up. But if the man says he's not gay AND there are no other things that might point to him being gay, take his word for it. And buy him some manties! ;-)

PS: Is it awful of me that I thought about getting mine some manties? I think he'd flip out, though LOL

PPS: Amy, I don't know if you've tackled it, yet - but this reminded me - if you could sometime or other do a column that sensitivity, manners and the ability to dress stylishly are not necessarily indicators of homosexuality, I'd appreciate it :) I'm sure a lot of straight guys that aren't "manly men" would probably appreciate it, as well :)

Posted by: Anne at May 10, 2006 9:31 AM

In "Dressed to Kill," Eddie Izzard makes the distinction between transvestites (straight cross-dressers) and drag queens (gay, usually pretty flamboyant). I love his routine about being an "executive" transvestite, and how much skill (and nerve) it takes for a straight man to walk around in high heels.But I must admit that, while I am extremely open-minded, it would still unnerve me if my husband wanted to borrow my lingerie - or buy his own.

Posted by: Melissa at May 10, 2006 6:16 PM

Biden and Kerry come to mind. The pink ties and limp wrists are the main giveaways. Plus the cut , run and hide agendas.

Posted by: SEW at May 11, 2006 10:01 AM

Actually, it probably isn't any guy with a pink tie and a limp wrist. Stayton told me cross-dressers are typically very masculine in their appearance and occupation. One guy who is in therapy with him parks his 18-wheeler outside his office when he comes for appointments.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at May 11, 2006 10:04 AM

I just had to thank you for this column. It was wonderful. It's too bad so many women are freaked out if the men in their lives like to wear feminine things sometimes -- it can be a wonderful way to get closer, in my opinion.

Posted by: S.V. at June 10, 2006 9:55 PM

I wish I had an understanding wife. I enjoy crossdressing and would love to enjoy some intimate encounters with my wife while crossdressing. I thought I would suprise her one Friday evening with a romantic night of light music, her favorite wine and some lingerie. Much to her suprise and discontent I was the one in the lingerie. Needless to say it did not go well, any advice???
Dressed up and waiting.

Posted by: Bob at July 1, 2006 8:40 AM

I am a part time crossdresser, but I usually only crossdress fully during Halloween, which I do this publicly. I like to wear pantyhose under pants the rest of the time. Many men feel as if they have to make an excuse for crossdressing. For instanse I am a biker so I shave my legs. In the Army many Infantrymen and Rangers would wear pantyhose or tights under their uniform to prevent blisters on long hikes. During Basic Training a Drill Sargent in my company showed his pair of pantyhose to his soldiers and told them they are good for preventing blisters and shaffing while walking 25 or 12 miles. I just like to wear pantyhose and I hope that one day I will find a Woman that accepts that.

Posted by: Bill at September 2, 2006 9:12 AM

Thanx for the oppurtunity,
Panties, lingerie in general are a serious 'turn-on' for me...my wife accepts that panties feel good physically to wear ( and so allows me to wear plain panties)but doesn't grant any value to the powerful hormonal 'rush'(for lack of a better word) I get from lacy, silky, girly undies. it's just as big a turn-off for her as it is a turn-on for me . I can't really imagine how she could choose to change how she feels..I know I can't but the value of our whole relationship far surpasses that one (however persistant) aspect of our sexuality. No relationship is without frustation at some level.

Posted by: bruce at November 22, 2006 2:16 AM

I too, am a long time married crossdress who has a very supportive and understanding wife. She basically got me started into c/d'ing (and it wasn't "forced), and to this day several years later, she continues to be supportive. She even taught me how to do my own make-up.
Currentrly I have quite an extensive and conservative wardrobe, along with 40 pair of high heels, with heel heights rangings from 5's to 5 1/2's 6's 6 1/2,s, 7's and 8's... Styles include pumps, sandals, ankle straps, double straps, slings, plats, oxfords, d'orsay pumps, mules, ankle wraps, criss cross straps, and 4 pair of high heel boots.
I trly believe that if more wives would read and learn more about crossdressing, and become supportive, their home lives would be very much enhanced.
My wife has also done all the photos on my web site, and is not only my wife, but my fashion and make up consultant, but she also continues to buy me items from time to time.
I have "gone public" out of town but not in our own immediate area, due to our respective jobs. It's still a pretty discriminatory world, out there.
The more wives learn and appreciate crossdressers / transvestities, the easier it will be to LIVE WITH ONE. My web siute can be found at www.geocities.com/rachelle_cd

Posted by: Rachelle In High Heels at December 27, 2006 9:12 PM

This has definitely become very common these days in alot of relationships. Its totally normal and many women are actually encouaging it or accepting of it as part of the trend. Alot of my friends ask or allow their husbands to wear their panties as part of spicing up their lovelives (and Im talking about really good, normal husbands too!). I first asked my hubby to wear my panties a few years ago and hes been ok with wearing them ever since (for bedroom play only). And from what my friends tell me, most of their hubbys enjoy it too. I mean think about it, guys boxers and briefs are made of relatively boring styles and materials. Womens undies are much more enticing both as to how they look and the feel of the different materials they are made up of. I really applaud you for exploring this with your hubby. Many women will see it as a sign of devotion, closeness or that the guy is really "into her." If you encourage it you can have alot of fun as part of this new and exciting trend!

Posted by: Melissa at January 2, 2007 12:18 PM

My Hubbie wears my panties, I am ok with it and can understand the feeling he gets when he has them on, dont we ladies feel the same when we wear something sexy.


Posted by: Michelle at January 9, 2007 11:58 PM

My husband has worn panties for as long as I've known him . We have been together 35 years. When I met him his ears were pierced and he wore earrings long before it became common.
The only time it became an issue was when our kids were little.Over the years he has pierced his nipples and wears a bra occaisionly.
He is a good man and I only critisize his appearence when he gets a little carried away. I 've set some guide line for him, such as no pink or lace, no breast forms (he's a 36A),no dangleing earrings,and a few others.

Posted by: Bombi at January 22, 2007 4:50 AM


Posted by: joe wisniewski at February 4, 2007 6:13 AM

I don't have a problem with your being happy in panties; quite the contrary. But, you could lose the CAPS LOCK, thanks.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 4, 2007 8:03 AM

My husband of 35 years has had pierced ears and wears at least one earring every day in one of his three holes. He has two holes in his left lobe and one in his right which he has stretched to about half an inch. He wears a gold plug in that ear all the time.
Years ago he had his nipples pierced and wears 1" gold captive ball hoops in them. I enjoy the look of them and they can be fun during our love making. Now and then he will wear a bra (36A)when he or I don't want his rings to show through his shirt. He wears a padded underwire demi,white or black. I perfer that he doesn't wear any thing pink or with lace. He has always worn panties.
Recently when we were in Hawaii we were at the beach at Turtle Bay and I became aware of several people paying to much attention so I suggested he wear something to cover the rings while on the beach.We tried tanktops and a sports bra but they didn't dry quickly enough after swimming.I was shopping in nearby Milliani at a Ross store and they had racks of name brand women's swimwear at deep discount. I bought a couple of bikinis for myself and on a whim I got one that would fit him.That evening I modeled the new suits for him. He told me they fit good and I looked sexy. Then I gave him a bag and told him it was a present. He opened the bag and smiled and said Is this for me. Isaid yes and aked him to try it on. He did and it fit him perfectly. We saat around for awhile and had some wine then very satisfying sex while still wearing our swimsuits. The next day as we readied for the beach I noticed hi was putting on his old suit. Iasked him if he would wear his new suit. At first he was not sure but I convinced it would be ok as we didn't really know anyone. He wore it that day and he looke good with the curves of his rear peaking out of the bottom and his small breasts covered in the triangle top. We had a fun day and when we got back to the room he had great tan lines. Before we left fo home we went to Northshore Swimwear in Haleiwa and had a suit custom made for him. The top has push up pads that really make it look like he has breasts and the very brief bottom has a power net sewn into the crotch that flattens him out nicely.We have a lot of fun together.

Posted by: David's wife at February 8, 2007 6:58 AM

I like you guys!

Posted by: Amy Alkon at February 8, 2007 7:52 AM

Ive wanted to wear womens panties for years. And finally Ive managed to do it. I met my wife about 18 months ago. And I told her what I wanted to do. Although nervous about her response she could not have been more supportive or sweet. I am glad to say I wear panties all the time. Im happy to be wearing plain panties sometimes with flowers but usually just pretty colours. My wife has made me the happiest man.

Posted by: David at February 11, 2007 1:12 AM

I could only wish for a girl like that I would love it.

Posted by: Cause I can at February 25, 2007 2:44 PM

i have been wearing panties/ lingerie for 20 plus
years cause i love the look and feel of womens panties/lingerie .my wife really enjoys picking out my panties/lingerie .
she also got me some short skirts an dresses that i do wear outside the house at night.
the check out girls /women know we are buying them for me there are two or three that helps us pick out my panties /lingerie

Posted by: joe wisniewski at May 3, 2007 1:32 PM

I have been wearing panties and pantyhose since I was in middle school. Over the last four years, I have been wearing them consistently. I can't stand the thick cotton briefs, the loose boxers or the never-stay-up cotton socks we men are supposed to wear. No one should have to abide by society's "norms" when it comes to choice of clothing. My wife of eight years tolerates my need to wear panties and pantyhose. She has expressed concerns about why I do it and what it means. She knows I am quite heterosexual and that this is something that makes me content.

Posted by: Wes at May 9, 2007 9:31 AM

Posted by: Nbkvqyp at May 23, 2007 6:54 AM

i have been wearing ladies panties since i was 13 i wear a full brief plain no lace mostly nylon. i am not gay but i am effeminate i am small fraimed for my height 5ft 7ins my chest is 34ins waist is 27ins but my hips are 38ins a womans shape and i am not as physically strong the average man i also have a tiny willy my lady friend is stronger than me she beats me arm wrestling and she can pick me up off the ground like i am a child but i cant lift her one inch off the ground she says because of my female shaped hips and tiny willy my panties fit me well

Posted by: donald.rigby at July 9, 2007 6:28 AM

I have been married for a year now My husband felt coforable enough to share with me how he wanted to wear womans panties and clothes a little odd at first but I went with it and now our sex life and relationship could not be better It is even a turn on for me to buy his panties It's nice to excite him with something sweet and sexy rather than mocho.My only problem is he want stop stealing my panties!

Posted by: wendy at July 25, 2007 12:40 AM

hi im 31yrs old i have all ways been terned on by womens well,anything i think i was a woman in a past life.anyway i have a girl friend of 5 yrs and one day we were in bed and i said nervously hun,im wearing your panties and they feel good i like it. she said ok.i told her that she was the only person id ever told about mt desire . she was honered and now 5 yrs ltr she buys my panties and skirts and is trying to find me a pair of shoes high heels (size 13 mens i dont know about womens) . well she encourages me to not be shy
becouse she loves me and thats all that matters
....point?....i Robert Grote wear panties and tights and skirts and I LOVE IT. the thrill the feel the ........I LOVE IT ALL..women are so lucky.thank you for letting me come out on your site love the articles good job

Posted by: red at July 30, 2007 11:49 AM

hi iam know as buckey.my made me ware her panties many years ago.i was looking at to many ladies.so for over 40yrs now i have been wareing nylon panties.iam now hooked on them.she has passed away now.the ladies i date now.i tell them that i ware panties,its eather ok or its not.the #1 lady and me now mathing pantys every day.its working out so nice.in fact she picks out our panties every morning.its so nice. buckey in fla.

Posted by: l rogers at September 21, 2007 2:25 PM

I also like to wear all kinds of womens clothes and I dye my hair and wear earings to.I want to wear nail polish to but I am a little nervous about it.

Posted by: robert at September 23, 2007 4:10 AM

I am in my mid thirties, and I am a true transsexual. I say 'true' because iver the years, I have found that there are so many people out there who think that they are TS, when in reality, they are not. It was not a decision I had to make, nor did I ever ask for it. I was born that way. I have been on hormones for many years now, and have lived full time in my true gender - as a woman, also for many years now. I was approved for SRS when I was 20 years old, but have not been able to come up with the money to do it properly. For the total 'package' of various surgeries, it can cost upwards of $100,000.
I have never had any problems with 'passing,' and I have blended into society quite well. But, I know that there are MANY other transsexuals who have not been as fortunate as I have been.
You see, I have been able to live as a woman for all these years, and very few people know that I am a transsexual. To the rest of the world, I am just another woman. But, the TS's I am talking about have not been as successful as I, and others like me, have been.
And, one of the problems that they face is constant discrimination from people who are uneducated about what a true transsexual really is. Please understand that those people who do not know much about TS's, and really don't care to know, can be a major problem to our livelihoods, and our self-esteem as well, along with many other negative effects.
The problem is that most people seem to somehow connect true transsexuals, with crossdressers, and transvestites. To them, we are on and the same. We are NOT the same.
I was sitting here reading these comments from so many CD's, and TV's, and many of them are THE reason that so many transsexuals suffer from so much discrimination in their lives. When most people hear the word 'transsexual,' they think of a CD, or a TV. In other words, they see us as some man in a dress who gets his kicks by wearing women's clothing and shoes, etc. And it is a fact that most CD's and TV's DO get their kicks from this. Now while many of you may think that is just fine and all, I disagree. And all these comments about how "oohhhh, I just love to wear women's panties, they turn me on," and "I have 5,6 and 7 inch heeled shoes" and all those other comments like these give people the wrong impression about TS's. We do NOT get off by wearing womens clothing. To us, it is nothing more than that - clothing. Something we wear every day, like all other people, but we happen to wear the clothing most appropriate for our gender, and that is womens clothing. Personally, I would look rather odd if I were to try to dress like a man. I do not look like one in the least. Nor have I ever.
Bottom line is this: I just wish that people who do this stuff for kicks would just keep it to themselves, and not go telling the whole world that they love panties, etc. And PLEASE, stay inside the privacy of your own homes when you do this. Remember, there are a lot of us out there, and by 'us', I mean True Transsexuals. And we are trying so hard each and every day just to make an honest living, like so many other people. There really is not much that is different about us. We just have the wrong anatomy. We cannot help that fact. Geez, I would never have chosen to be this way. I don't think anybody in my position would have made that choice. Like I said, it is not a choice. But being a TV, or a CD IS a choice.
You have no idea what you are doing to so many of us by blabbing to the world about how much you love panties, and how you sneak around in your wives clothing. See, the vast majority of you just take it as a little fun, and after you have had enough of it for a day - if it lasts that long - you satisfy yourselves and go back to living as a man. And you go back to your good jobs and all is well. It is not that way for many of us. We have to live with people all around us who see us as nothing more than sexual deviants, and weirdos. As most people TV's and CD's complain about, such as their wives not liking it. Well, thats how most people view you. And it really gets me so mad that you ruin so many chances for those of us who are jsut trying to get by the best we can in life. So, plese stop writing all this stuff. And PLEASE stop going out lie that. It is sooooo noticable when I see a man in a dress. They may think that they pass, but they don't. And those same people will do things like go into the ladies room because they think they can. You are wrong. Don't do it! Stop it, please. Just stop it. If you want to do it, fine. But keep it to yourselves, and STAY HOME. I, for one, would really appreciate it if you did that. It would really help those of us who really are struggling in life, trying to make it in our true genders. This is no 2 ro 3 hour thing, its 24/7/365. It is always that way for us. There is NO break from it. So, please stop giving True Transsexuals a BAD NAME. We are not bad people. We are just normal, everyday people trying to be happy with our lives. And you are making that so much more difficult than it already is for us. Give it a rest, OK?

Posted by: Rach at November 17, 2007 2:05 AM

Rach, please!? I'd argue that men who make claims about being women are one of the reasons why male fashion rarely tends towards the effeminite.

Cross-dressers and underwear fetishists usually at least say it straight - "I like wearing these clothes". End of story. Rather than insulting women by claiming to be one!

I've met many who claim to be TS, and I've only really met one who qualifies in my opinion. Those who have problems blending into public life are probably just too masculine - understandably, since they are very much men after all.

Posted by: Kevin at November 19, 2007 8:04 AM

i like to ware womens lingerie is this ok or am i pervert

Posted by: john at December 4, 2007 3:01 PM

i need a anser about crossdressing

Posted by: john stier at December 5, 2007 10:23 AM

Thank you for the colum. I cam out to my wife last year. I never wore womens underwear until about 3 years into our marriage. I'm very masculine and have a quick temper. But on occasion when i can were panties i'm just much more calmer and i can talk with my wife more i just feel different. She loves it because i'm so calm and more sensitive at the time. We go and buy panties together and she loves it. Thats all i do is the underwear and not always but if i feel myself getting stresed it really helps.

Posted by: Joshua [TypeKey Profile Page] at December 16, 2007 2:50 PM

Hey, thanks, Joshua, appreciate that.

John, read above -- whatever makes you happy, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 16, 2007 3:00 PM

I consider myself very lucky because I am 31 years old and a very active body builder. I love girls and would never think about being with a man. Well i have dated three girls who i could be open about my wearing panties and they have been ok with it. The third girl happends to be my wife of three years now and accepets that i wear more then just Victorias Secret panties. Before we got married I found it really hard to express to her that i wear womens clothing so I did my best and when she would visit me in my apartment i would leave my Victorias Secret panties in the bathroom or on the floor by my bed and when we would get ready to make love i would take my clothes off showing her my panties and she did not really say anything until after we finished. She asked me if the panties are mine and i told her that yes the are mine and i always wear panties. She was fine with it and came to visit me a few days later when i decided to wear my thigh highs and we made love again and it was so intense that when she left after that i thought this is the girl for me as she has no problem with it. Now we shop together at Victorias Secret and other stores. When i buy for myself i only buy Womens Jeans lowrise and stretch. I have actually purchased a few pairs of American Eagle womens jeans. I really like the ae Hipster low rise jeans. They have holes in them so i can wear thigh highs and pantyhose of different colors under them. I am wearing black thigh highs with them now at work and the thigh highs feel so good. And my cute pink Victoiras Secret V-string looks really good with these lowrise jeans. I love torn holly jeans with pantyhose or thigh highs I wish more women would wear their jeans that way.

Posted by: ANDY at January 11, 2008 11:27 AM

Men need to understand women and their underwear.

Women do not just Have underwear.

They don’t even just Wear underwear.

They Play with it.

It is the most enduring toy a woman possesses,
(and socks).

These toys often come in ‘sets’.

Just as little boys had train sets, she has underwear sets.

As he had his toy soldier sets and action man sets, her toys, too, have a military campaign focus.

Toys used in a serious game of life and death and conquering the world.

Underwear is the Woman’s Weapon of Choice in the covert War of the Sexes.

It is a Weapon of Mass Distraction. (WMD)

Whilst everyone knows she has them, no one is allowed to find them.

She hides them but flaunts them at her targeted enemies. She taunts them.

She buys them from specialist undercover arms dealers.

Incorrigible, the first game a little girl plays is lifting her dress to show her knickers.

She never stops playing this game.

Any man or boy who looks or even mentions her knickers is a target for pleasure or pain. When she can’t, or won’t play, he’s in dire trouble.

It’s often called ‘Lingerie’ by some single and most sensuous women. The latter also called ‘Combat Veterans’.

Undies come in 4693 imaginatively decorative, titillatingly provocative, irresistibly attractive, creatively flattering, ancient and modern styles; in 234 fabrics, some specifically manufactured just for her; and 97 colours; for 17 purposes; satisfying 43 discrete ulterior motives.

She owns a complete and comprehensive armoury, suitable for a small country.

She has pants, panties, bras, knickers, Tangas, French knickers, half-slips, full-slips, briefs, bikinis, petticoats, ‘boylegs’, thongs, torsollettos, basques, ‘teddies’, corsets, ‘body’s’, chemises, bustiers, garters, suspenders, ‘guipieres’, camisoles, cami-knickers, ‘strings’, soutiennes gorge, waist -cinchers, hi cuts, lo cuts, hipsters, midis, maxis, full cup, half cup, balconets, bandeaux, coulottes, “Gs”, “Vs”, gorgettes, stockings, body-stockings, babydolls , and the fearsome Merry Widows! …………………

……..the list goes on…. and on…………….and on …… and grows daily.

Men have only their underpants.

Most men have few and usually of one sort. The spares are often to be found only after rigorous searches at the back of his one shelf.

In the war of the sexes, as far as these instruments of war are concerned, men stand no chance at all.

Any underwear item of a woman can only be worn for a few hours at a time.

Men wear theirs for days at a time.

Hers ‘disappear’ from clothes lines. His never do. That’s if they ever get there.

Women wear undies under outer clothes - or AS outer clothes.

She likes to show her underclothes in public, but no one is allowed to say anything - at all.

Only Superman wears his underpants on the outside. No one argues with him, or even sniggers.

No one argues with or sniggers at a woman in her undies, either.

She carries spares in her handbag, like a small hand gun. To ‘feel secure’

She sometimes has disturbing dreams of being in public in her undies. It scares her that someone is looking and they are commenting.

There are more women’s under clothes than there are outer clothes for both sexes combined.

Women’s underwear have NAMES !

Other Girls’ Names !

And Names of Places. Cities. Rivers. Suburbs.

Also exotic fruit. And colours, some quite unknown to science.

Even geographical formations and extreme weather patterns.!

She can spend hours looking through racks and racks of underwear in shops.

There are shops that sell only underwear. For women. Nothing else.

There are no known shops in the whole world that only sell men’s underpants.

At home, specific types of item have whole drawers to themselves.

Women’s underwear can even have their own hangers !

The only other known weapons housed in hangers are aircraft !

Some items cost more than a man’s suit.

The replacement value in case of fire or theft is often a separate line in insurance policies.

She can buy his underwear, in supermarkets, an aisle or two away from the washing powders. It comes in packets of five and all fits on one shelf. The check-out chick swipes them like a packet of peas.

He cannot buy hers without people watching him from behind racks and on CCTV. The check-out chick, who has a special desk, in the ‘Intimate Apparel Department’, makes him wait in line with 12 women and folds everything slowly and carefully and packs it in boxes as though she were posting Tom Cruise’s exploding sunnies.

She, and the other women in the line, glance at him several times in a questioning manner and take inordinate interest in what he has bought. The size of each item has to be read off each label, out loud. !

Men are not to even look at women’s underwear. Only at HER.

Her drawers are out of bounds.

She can inspect his underwear.

He must not, under any circumstance, inspect hers.

She can criticize his but on no account can he criticize hers.

She will, more often than not, wash his. She has a vested interest in it being clean and fresh. So she can borrow and wear it.

(Along with his shirts, trousers, ties, braces, Dinner Jackets, etc……. )

His sometimes finds its way into her drawers.

Really ‘hip’ younger women, generally single, have some undies that are designed to look just like his because they have less opportunity to borrow.

After 3 years in a ‘relationship’ she will mostly wear “working knickers” by Holeproof, and tights, to indicate she has conquered. A sort of “Chairman Mao” under-suit.

For him, there is no reason to Ever, Ever, wear anything besides solid white, cotton. If he wears any other he is “suspect”.

If HE wears HER’s, (Heaven and Her forbid) there is a whole section of the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual for Psychiatric Disorders, - (302.30 “The Jocks in Frocks Disorder.” which reckons that 12% of Scotsman, and 10% of men worldwide, 14.28% in New Zealand, and a massive 17.6% in the USA, buy and ‘secretly’ wear women’s underclothes) - written about HIS ‘problem’. (The Americans often are more open about it. )

(Unless, of course, she wants him to. Then she is helping him express his feminine side.)

For a man to want to wear silky soft panties that caress his private parts or a sensuous slip that flows over his skin, most women would go bananas. Not with lust or hightened interest in his 'being' but with anger and disgust that she has been busted and he is taking and playing with HER toys.

If it turns him on, gets him sexually excited to wear pretty and sensuous underwear, even a soft, white, chiffon petticoat with sixty yards of trim, or feel the coolness of fully fashioned stockings clinging to his legs, she will feel betrayed and unwanted, for some odd reason to do with the female psyche.

If he is a well known English Football Team Captain, and admits wearing his wife’s panties, the national newspapers will write a front page ‘expose’ story about him; Parkinson will ask him to ‘please explain’, on National Television.

He will have to move to America.

Posted by: Percy at January 14, 2008 2:46 AM

That post above is GENIUS!!!! Oh My God, how funny, how true! Great post!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: erica at February 11, 2008 4:17 PM

I am a transvestite and have been for over 20 years now. I have been to hundreds of clubs, bars tv/cd support groups etc. And in all that time I have never met a tv or cd who was not at least bisexual. So are the percentage figures wrong or do we have men saying they are totally hetrosexual because they have a wife/girlfriend breathing down their neck. I wonder.....

Posted by: Alicia at March 16, 2008 2:15 AM

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