This sounds like a recent ex-girlfriend of mine, and several women I've known. I'm virtually never one to say this, but for a change I'm going to: Walk, walk, walk - no, run. Yeah I know it's difficult to leave when you're getting regular sex and all that, but for the sake of your own sanity, leave before this does more damage to yourself. A few months later you'll re-read your letter and wonder how she managed to distort your worldview so badly that you thought any of this behavior was even remotely normal or to be put up with. Women like this have a reality distortion field.

And, oh yes, there is basically no way this is going to end well. She clearly has no respect for you or the relationship whatsoever. Even if she does sort herself out one day, you'll be pushed out of that process, I've seen it many times.

It's not just a matter of trust - though it is at least that. As Amy says, she is taking offence as defence. If she cannot understand how hurtful her behaviour is to you, you only have two choices. One is to put up with it, and the other is not to. It doesn't sound as if you have a lot invested in this relationship, so you may be best to cut your losses and quit now.

Based on the women I know who are like this, it is also a virtual certainty that she is cheating. You might also want to think about why you are attracted to such women, or at least, why you allow yourself to be treated like this - possibly some self-esteem issues of your own, or something.

Seriously dude dump the witch.

There are tons of women out there that don't treat their men this way. Walk and go find one of those.

"She finally stopped calling her guy friends stuff like 'my hot beef injection,' but only after I threatened to walk."

Hot Beef Injection? You've got to be kidding me! LW, you should walk on grounds of tastelessness alone. Seriously, if she needed you to tell he not to talk like that around her boyfriend, I think you're in for more trouble and pain than you should have to put up with. Like Dale says, break up with her now and find somebody nicer.

I agree with all the guys here, LW. Your girlfriend isn't a girlfriend at all, she's a vacuous moron. You'd be well rid of her, the sooner the better. Any woman who talks like that to her boyfriend doesn't deserve him, unless he treats her like shit, as well. Gather up what's left of your dignity, and take it with you when you leave. There are other, better women out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve. This woman is obviously not one of them. o.O

Wow. I tend to be rather comfortable with a lot of things that most guys probably wouldn't be and can confidently say this little girl needs to grow the fuck up before she's ready for an adult relationship.

Blech. I'm one who finds jealousy to be generally insidious and usually the fault of the jealous party, not the one they are jealous of. But not this time. It's her, not you. She's manipulating you, probably because she's mad you left for 6 weeks, and sees making you jealous as a way to get you to convey your love for her, and to ensure that you will come back quickly and not fool around while you're gone. It's stresses like these that test the mettle of the relationship. This is why you should never get serious with a person before you've had your first fight, because the way they fight is usually an excellent indicator of their personality. What you've learned is that your girlfriend will twist what you say so that she's always the wronged party; she's manipulative; she's disrespectful of you; and instead of speaking frankly about what bothers her, she creates various psychodramas.

Right on, Amy (and everyone else.) When I was a lot younger (18-20ish), I was a "one of the guys" chick... and I would NOT have wanted to date me.

Ugh. I doubt this girl-woman would tolerate the equivalent of these little games if her boyfriend was playing them. One of the guys, my ass. It's embarrassing me just reading about her. I hope the LW finds himself a loving, grown-up woman.

I could not agree more with Amy...

I am a Tomboy myself but I have never resorted to talking to my "buddies" this way. Their friendship means much more to me and I am just not so desperately needy that I feel I have to throw myself out to the wolves!

He needs to dump her. She is an insensitive jerk who thinks nothing of her BF and her male friend's wives.

Ugh ... tacky, tacky, tacky. Hot beef injection? What is she, fifteen years old? How can he even continue feeling attracted to her? The way she talks to her guy friends, the feather boa nonsense, having them stay at her place and "maybe" try something - here is a true attention whore who thrives upon drama. How can this possibly be any fun? It would be so easy for him to find someone else who treats him better - because pretty much ANYONE else would. You really have to try hard to find this kind of crazy.

And Amy, this one was a real gem: "She's offended that you're offended. What a convenient way to never be wrong." I knew someone like this once. She was a real diarrhea-of-the-mouth case, and would blurt out whatever stupid thing popped into her pitiful excuse for a brain. It was like she had no social filter whatsoever. But if anyone called her on it, her response was that she is free to express her opinions, and if other people don't like it they should be more open-minded. As you said, what a convenient way to never be wrong. If that's the case, then there is no such thing as simple rudeness or bad manners, just "opinions." Well, you keep telling yourself that, honey, and don't bother asking why you never have a friendship that lasts longer than a few months.

Please comment in a day or two and tell us this guy got rid of the horrible twit.

"How can this possibly be any fun?"

Cuckold fetishists would find her quite intriguing, I suspect, as there is a pretty good probability she is nailing other guys.

She is not bothering to explicitly tell her boyfriend third party nookie is on the relationship's menu...at least on the menu for *her*. But it appears she wants him to know she is up to something, and thus keeps dropping "confessions" regarding her antics until he clues in.

If the letter writer is not into this scene, he should exit with dignity and calm, so each party can find someone more suited to their wants.

My wild guess is the gal is still pretty into her old boyfriend, and letter writer is not clueing into this.

But it appears she wants him to know she is up to something, and thus keeps dropping "confessions" regarding her antics until he clues in.

What she wants is him worked up and jealous. She wants to know he is spending all of his time "thinking about her" - even if it's ripping his hair out thinking about her being with someone else.

She thrives on this nonsense. She's using him for emotional validation and will dump him for someone else when he's least expecting it. That way, he'll still pine for her while she's messing with another guy's hardwiring.

She must be REALLY pretty, and the LW thinks she's too good for him. What else would explain his willingness to be humiliated this way?

If he wants, he should give her some of her own back. He should tell her that the British women find his sexy American accent irresistible, and a few of them have insisted on keeping him company in his hotel room-but honest honey, nothing happened!

"after I threatened to walk"

If you have to threaten, it's already over.
Walk.

"Honest honey, she was too drunk to remember her address so I had to let her sleep in my bed

"He should tell her that the British women ... have insisted on keeping him company in his hotel room-but honest honey, nothing happened!"

Those English vixens! I..I feel so dirty, honey!

I can't believe LW didn't dump her the minute she called one of her (sex)buddies a hot beef infection.

I love Wednesdays!

Ahh, my fellow men who can't see past the punani. Reminds me of a guy I knew who once said, "hey at least he's gettin some" regarding a mutual friend, only 2 years later same guy was himself getting some, with his single mom girlfriend turned wife with 2 step kids and 1 of his own, all in a year's time. Shame LW's lost his mind and dignity.

"Oh, whoops I just slipped and fell into his dick honey. I didn't mean it! It was an accident!". Truth or not, its the appearance of impropriety that shows her lack of caring. DTB.

"Am I justified in thinking her behavior shows a lack of respect for me and our relationship?" STO

dude. you already answered your own Q? you don't need Amy or anyone else to tell you, because you already know it. So act like she doesn't already own your cajones and tell her done. You can't threaten, or compromise on this one. As time goes on it will get worse, and heavens forbid you have to give her the house and pay for another man's kids.

You know it's over, saddle up and move it. Oh, and change the locks, and assume she will be psycho after, 'cuz she'll get vindictive immediately. Bank on it.

How could you possibly trust anyone like this??? She is out getting strange while you are just out, and then pulling the old "you can't tell me who I can hang out with" routine, and the "you just don't trust me" routine. We have all seen it before. She is trying to make you feel guilty while at the same time using you for a cushion while she tests the new cars on the lot (or, in this case, the old car)

But, as was said before, how was the sex? If it is mind-blowing, stick for awhile until you find something else more to your liking. If it is mediocre, kick her to the curb and go find something new.

I know, I know...two wrongs don't make a right...so sue me.

that's no fun. I hope he gets out. The sooner the better

Maybe he could apply to stay in London longer... get away from the psycho girlfriend who could potentially become a psycho ex. That's what I would do.

You may not always be treated as well as you wish to be, but you will be treated as poorly as you allow yourself to be.

My much younger, much less self-confident self was there once. You will later regret every second you wasted. There are other, better women you aren't meeting because you're with her.

Things can only go downhill, and you're not starting with much elevation. Leave, now.

Any girl who referred to me as her "hot beef injection" in any setting other than the privacy of our bedroom would find herself referred to as my "what was I thinking?" experience.

If someone wants to be crass, that's her problem. I won't let it be mine.

her response was that she is free to express her opinions,

Yeah, I've had that conversation with a few overgrown adolescents in my time. My response has been "Yes, you're free to do so, but you're not free to decide how other people will react to you. If you put a lot of effort into coming across as a foul-mouthed idiot, people are going to treat you like a foul-mouthed idiot, and avoid your company. Other people are free, too."

"Yes, you're free to do so, but you're not free to decide how other people will react to you."

Some Guy -- just out of curiousity, how do the overgrown adolescents react when you tell them this?

He should be getting as much tail as possible in London. He's going to be accused of being unfaithful to her anyway, so he may as well do the crime. He'll of course have to tell her when he gets back, then she'll break up with him, and he'll be free! Maybe he shouldn't tell her, she sounds psycho-just break up when he gets back, with the bullshit line, you're too good for me!

Run, run, run away. She's got an ex over TWO DAYS after you left? Change your cell phone number, move with no forwarding address, join the French Foreign Legion, but do NOT stay with this nitwit.

Yeah .. she's playing LW for a fool.

wow, it is deja vu all over again. I was NUTS over a woman with many similar external manifestations of probably the same underlying problem -- advanced insecurity coupled with severe inability to attach. The
"always being offended" is the real link. An incredible ability to keep you on the defensive. You can delude yourself into thinking this is the only tuna in the sea. But you are still delusional. Bail now, and see how fast your life improves.

Yea, I HAD a girlfriend who liked to be "just one of the guys" too. She was outgoing and seemed perfectly comfortable plopping down onto a guy friend's lap, or horsing around with them. They were like her "big brothers."

Eventually she fostered a crush on a guy, somehow ended up sleeping in the same bed with him one night (she was tired and didn't feel like walking home- sound familiar?), and by some innocent freak-accident she fooled around with him one night. I forgave her for it, and a year later we ended the relationship on good terms. AND GUESS WHO SHE POUNCED ON AFTERWARDS? Yep- one-night-stand boy, who she never really got over.

In my opinion, women who enjoy walking this edge of "guess what almost happened to me" are looking for an excuse to cheat and get away with it. If you think your self-esteem is bad now, wait till she DOES eventually cheat on you. Or don't wait... find a better woman.

It depends on one thing and one thing only; by any chance is she incredibly hot? I mean drop dead, take your breath away gorgeous?

If so, she's a keeper no matter how bad her behavior. It's worth it.

For at least a week or two. Maybe longer if she has hot friends and shows a willingness for the occasional threesome.

But you're going to move on. This isn't a keeper. I'd suggest NOT making a dramatic breakup, in fact don't really break up at all. Just bring your attention to a trickle, and with a little bi monthly maintenance (call, say hello) you can turn her into a booty call.

And then continue your quest to find a quality woman.

that chick is what i like to call an attention whore. and those are usually the people with the lowest self esteem in the group. dump this chick and go find yourself someone who knows how to function in a relationship, and in everyday life with out having to be the sexual object of every man's desire.

Men will never, EVER get respect from women until they start dumping idiots like this. Kick her ass to the curb and man up, dude.