The Girl With The Draggin' Tattoo
I'm a 38-year-old single man. There's this very pretty, very nice female trainer I see at my gym. I'd ask her out except that she has a huge tattoo of a diamond on her neck. Ugh. Total deal breaker. If it were a hidden tattoo (leg, hip, etc.), I'd deal. But I just can't imagine myself or any guy bringing a girl with a huge neck tat home to meet the parents. Why would a woman do this?
--Hate Ink
A tattoo is a flesh billboard -- one that sends different messages to different people. For example, there are those tattoos Westerners get in Chinese, which are sometimes deeply profound ancient sayings, such as "Lost ticket pays full day rate for parking."
Tattoos are now more socially acceptable than ever. Three in 10 Americans have them, according to a 2015 Harris Poll. As for why, people often explain their tattoo or tattoos as a celebration or remembrance of something: "And there was my Everclear era in my early 20s -- memorialized by this 'No regerts' tattoo."
However, evolutionary researcher Haley Dillon and her colleagues reviewed findings from cross-cultural research on tattooing and concluded that there are two main underlying motivations (subconscious evolved motivations) for people to go all human canvas. People get tats as symbols -- interestingly, of either group membership or individuality or both. And they do it as a form of "costly signaling" -- advertising to others that they are so crazy-healthy that they don't need to worry about the health risks (which include bacterial infection and death, a rare serious bummer).
Each of these underlying motivations is what's called a "fitness display," promoting a tattooee's excellence as a mate or cooperator, which should ultimately enhance their chances of reproductive success. Well, that's the idea, anyway. You happen to favor virgin neck, which can lead to some awkwardness in asking a woman out: "Hey, can I treat you to dinner sometime -- followed by two years of laser tattoo removal?"
Then there's "sat cong" which guarantees you wouldn't have to put up with being in the Hanoi Hilton.
Heard a shrink remarking on the endless bragging around Dark Ages celebrations of how badass the bragger was. Brave and terrible in battle. Shrink said the underlying motivation was to script oneself by endless, public recitation for the horrors of close-quarter combat. A cop I mentioned this to said they call it soft-wiring.
Some tats seem to have this function, as well.
Richard Aubrey at November 14, 2018 6:37 AM
Why would “a woman” do this? She is trying to keep men like LW away and it is working splendidly. He’s now never going to ask her out and try to bring her home to his parents and do all the things she doesn’t want people like him to do.
sofar at November 16, 2018 10:48 AM
What Sofar said.
My translation is a bit deeper: 'My life is such an unrecoverable train wreck of bad decisions that instead of dealing with the angst of trying to make it work with a non-train wreck, I am giving them a visual wave off and signaling to my fellow train wrecks of my tribal association. Let's make some more bad decisions together!'
She has rejected 'normal' society. No one above $40,000 is likely to hire her except as a matter of Woke signaling.
FIDO at November 17, 2018 8:52 AM
And here I thought the huge diamond tattoo signaled that this woman is going to be EXPENSIVE!!! Run, run, run while you still can!
mpetrie98 at November 18, 2018 6:04 PM
They call 'em "tramp stamps" for a reason.
bkmale at November 19, 2018 5:31 AM
"They call 'em "tramp stamps" for a reason."
Yes, and that reason is that "they" have never met a decent person with a tattoo.
"They" need to get out more.
Radwaste at November 23, 2018 11:18 PM
Low self esteem
the chalmer[s at July 19, 2020 2:55 PM
Low self esteem
the chalmer[s at July 19, 2020 2:56 PM
I saw a lovely young woman in public once with her neck, arms and hands covered in amateurish tats.
She was genuinely beautiful, too.
Sad.
Unkle Steve at July 19, 2020 2:59 PM
It could be an altruistic move by naturally beautiful women to level the playing field for the ugly ones.
Colorado Wellington at July 19, 2020 3:07 PM
The real question is: why would "very pretty, very nice female trainer" want to go out with such a vile and disgusting douchebag as "Hate Ink"?
This bigoted lowlife with his delusions of adequacy is obviously a flaming liberal. He's clearly worried about "girls" meeting his parents because, at 38, he no doubt still lives in their basement.
And I completely believe he can't imagine "any guy" would, as he has no more imagination than he does has the capacity to think.
Let's hope he stays single.
Owen at July 19, 2020 3:11 PM
A tattoo has NEVER made a woman any pretty than she already is.
harleycowboy at July 19, 2020 3:19 PM
I gave in to the urge and got a tat on my forearm after my divorce, and also to commemorate my ten year anniversary of being cancer - free. I stopped noticing it after having it for a few years, but once in a while I'm not sure it was a good idea. Ah well, regret is part of life, no? BTW, I live in crazy ass Portland and it's tattoo - nutty around here, but the local laser clinics are doing a whopping business in tattoo removal these days. Caveat emptor.
Dmac at July 19, 2020 3:24 PM
Really? Dislike of tattoos is now 'bigotry'? I hadn't quite realized how meaningless that term has become.
hmi at July 19, 2020 3:25 PM
Why do people get tats?
Depends.
Used to be a tribal thing, cementing identity with the tribe and displaying warrior prowess or some other desirable trait for the rest of said tribe.
Now? Some say it's a silly fad. But I suspect there is an ugly reason behind it.
There are those who have lives of varying emptiness - bad family relationships, lack of fulfilling social contact & relationships, unsatisfactory work, unhappy life overall and so forth. There are few resources binding people to a greater tribe - religion is a much weaker force than it was when Western Civ sprouted from the Renaissance and Enlightenment, and a sense of progress and improvement is lacking (except for material things which, in the long run, are just so much junk.)
Inking oneself to one degree or another is an attempt to fill that spiritual void. If one does not feel beautiful inside, one may be provoked subconsciously into making a public statement affirming one's beauty (or sexiness, or worthiness in some other aspect.)
triple sphinctered wombat at July 19, 2020 3:26 PM
I don't think I've ever seen a tattoo that makes me say "oh yeah, I like that".
Alley_Cat at July 19, 2020 3:29 PM
It just sticks right out there as a warning sign that someone is a very short term thinker,
Not always a deal breaker, but when you see a visible tattoo in a place that can’t be easily covered up, you start looking for other signs that this is not someone who will be there for the long haul.
Tattoos are costly. Good ones costlier. If you are this careless with your money, chances are good, that you are an impulsive person.
Isab at July 19, 2020 3:33 PM
I heard once hat the subtext of every tattoo is "let me tell you about my parents' divorce."
John Cunningham at July 19, 2020 3:35 PM
I don't think I've ever seen a tattoo that makes me say "oh yeah, I like that".
Alley_Cat at July 19, 2020 3:29 PM
I saw one once. Was a vague Picasso like outline of a women’s face, looked like a light air brush that followed the line of a young beautiful tanned women’s shoulder blade on the beach of Waikiki.
Must have cost a bundle. It was real art. Not the crayon drawn crap most of them are.
Isab at July 19, 2020 3:40 PM
I like ink on a girl, it lets me know they make bad life choices. Also, I can alter my attack strategy, which makes it a whole lot easier to get them to do what they already want to do.
Sky Masterson at July 19, 2020 3:50 PM
Any girl hot or not, a tattoo is a boner killer.
BonHagar at July 19, 2020 4:11 PM
Tattoos are scars. Those with them are asking others to like them, desire them, despite their scars to prove one's virtue.Attributing virtue to intentional scarring is a particularly primitive instinct.
It's understandable for a burn victim. For a hitherto undamaged person, it's pathetic.
Thomas Hazlewood at July 19, 2020 4:19 PM
I honestly feel those that do a bunch of tattoos have some kind of mental problem. I know supposedly the tattoos celebrate some kind of remembrance of something that happened in their lives but, come on, a bunch of them?
Yea, I'd avoid that girl.
Deaf Smith at July 19, 2020 4:31 PM
When I was active duty and tattoos were just starting to be a thing I mentioned that I didn't find them attractive at all. One of the female NCO's said "Well, sir, they aren't trying to attract guys like you." Enough said.
Rick at July 19, 2020 5:07 PM
Jesus, people, when did you grow up, during the Depression? How backward can you get? Tattoos are NOT about someone's character, they're self-expression, as well as fashion. Why would a woman (or a man) get a tattoo anywhere, including her neck? Well, why do some people have piercings, sometimes more than one, sometimes many? Why so some people dye their hair red as opposed to brown? Why do some men have facial hair, especially those who go full Duck Dynasty? Why do some dress casually most of the time as opposed to more formally? Why? Because they want to. No secret meanings, no psychological disturbances, no "tramp stamp" subtext. Just self-expression and self-decoration. All of this moralizing and judging of this young woman is ridiculous and as far as I'm concerned, she had a lucky escape from this narrow-minded 38-year-old. No woman in this day and age should have to put up with that nonsense.
Blackgriffin at July 19, 2020 5:16 PM
Tats on a broad make figure she has herpes, hepatitis, and a record of rawdogging over 50 guys (not all of tbem white) every possible way. Don't want to send that message, don't be a chick with tattoes.
Lucas Smith at July 19, 2020 5:52 PM
Tats on a broad make me figure she has herpes, hepatitis, and a record of rawdogging over 50 guys (not all of tbem white) every possible way. Don't want to send that message, don't be a chick with tattoes.
Lucas Smith at July 19, 2020 5:52 PM
"Tattoos are NOT about someone's character, they're self-expression, as well as fashion."
One's self-expression reflects one's character.
NaughtyPine at July 19, 2020 6:31 PM
Umm - because she wanted to?
And here's a radical idea - why not ask her?
MM at July 19, 2020 7:02 PM
I don't care how popular they get, tats are trashy. I won't date a woman who has them, and I won't hire someone with tats that can't be effectively concealed in the workplace.
Some guy at July 19, 2020 8:05 PM
Tats on a woman broadcast the message: "Attention, sexy badboys! I'm DTF, so make your move -- you won't have to waste a lot of time or money getting me in the sack!"
Tattoo removal is for when she turns 35 and wants to settle down with a nice guy who can provide a better life for her and her thuglets while their daddies spend 10-15 years upstate.
Dave at July 19, 2020 8:51 PM
Many of the writers apparently never speak with these men and women who have ink. It seems leaping to conclusions is the only exercise they get. There are tramp stamps and then there are personal reasons: a memorial to the loss of her first child, a celebration of conquering drug and alcohol (starting at age 14) A memorial to a sibling who died in the car accident she survived. Speak with them. The ink is just part of their character.
albertabound at July 19, 2020 9:30 PM
Or then there are people like me. I like how mine look, I've never had any regrets about them, and I've been happily married for 30 years to a man who, although he has none himself, has no problem with them.
I notice that the questioner hasn't said that the trainer has expressed any interest in him, and I'm curious why the assumption is that the nice lady would consider this douchebag a catch?Or then there are people like me. I like how mine look, I've never had any regrets about them, and I've been happily married for 30 years to a man who, although he has none himself, has no problem with them.
I notice that the questioner hasn't said that the trainer has expressed any interest in him, and I'm curious why the assumption is that the nice lady would consider this douchebag a catch?
Victoria at July 20, 2020 2:16 PM
Just talked with the nicest check out lady at my local grocer and her arms were marred with just an assortment of seemingly random tats. A couple of them looked like +++++ like how you keep count with hash lines in groups of 5. I mean sheesh! Used to think they looked kinda cool on guys if they were done right. Now it's everyone and their great grandma. Kids nowdays right?
NO TATS at July 20, 2020 3:10 PM
Back when I was around 9 to 12 years old in the 50s, a psychologist made the statement that many children heard: "Only a person with the mentality of a 2 year old would get a tattoo." That statement kept us far away from ever getting one.
Wm at July 20, 2020 5:30 PM
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