Dr. Laura: "Yuh Nev-uh Write, Yuh Nev-uh Call!"
Dr. Laura has renounced Orthodox Judaism; apparently because she wasn't getting enough fan mail from Jews, says this Forward article by Lisa Keys:
Schlessinger began her August 5 program by noting that, prior to each broadcast, she spends an hour reading faxes from fans and listeners. "By and large the faxes from Christians have been very loving, very supportive," she said. "From my own religion, I have either gotten nothing, which is 99% of it, or two of the nastiest letters I have gotten in a long time. I guess that's my point ó I don't get much back. Not much warmth coming back."
Yeah, but how do the Buddhists, Seventh-Day Adventists, and Hari Krishnas stack up? Come on Krishnas, shake those finger cymbals...show the love!
(via my old New York Daily News colleagues, Rush & Molloy)
How nice to know that religions are no longer based upon personal conviction, but upon whether or not our fellow adherants actually like us. No more pesky, niggling points that require weeks of introspective thought and research, like, "Do you believe Jesus was God in the flesh and do you believe that his death on the cross covered your sins?" (No and no, as far as my beliefs go, but that's besides the point.)
Now we just base our faith on how many holiday greetings we get from our fellow worshippers. Since I haven't been invited to dinner by any of my fellow Christian Scientists, I should now convert. Oh, wait. A CS couple did buy me ice cream a few months back. (I was thinking that since the Orthodox Jews don't like Dr. Laura, I'd become one myself.)
Perhaps she should join a proselytic movement. I think door-to-door ministering would aid her tremendously in her quest to become consummately insufferable. It isn't enough that her obnoxious self-righteous voice is blasting us over the radio, now we can open our front doors and be greeted with it.
Patrick at August 16, 2003 6:06 AM
By the way, am I the only one that is having trouble with this portion of Dr. Laura's comments? "From my own religion, I have either gotten nothing, which is 99% of it, or two of the nastiest letters I have gotten in a long time. I guess that's my point — I don't get much back. Not much warmth coming back."
99% of her faxes from Orthodox Jews is NOTHING (zero)? That's absurd. The way that sentence reads is that 99% of the total number of her faxes from her fellow Orthodox Jews is nothing. The logic circuits of my brain are overloading -- HELP ME GRASP THIS, FOLKS! Zero is 99% of zero. Multiply zero any number of times and you get zero. But she's talking about 2 nasty faxes from Orthodox Jews. 99% of two is 1.98, not zero. Or does she mean that 99% of her axe to grind with Orthodox Judaism is the fact that she gets nothing from her fellow adherants?
Give ME her fax number... this biological error would be HAPPY to send some love her direction. Not to mention a brief math course.
Patrick at August 16, 2003 9:21 AM
Never mind. I think I'm getting it now. She means to say (although she didn't say) that 99% of the time, she gets nothing from Orthodox Jews, while the other 1% are two of the nastiest letters she's ever gotten.
Well, boo-hoo-hoo for Dr. Laura. When you come on as little Ms. Know-it-all especially as a HYPOCRITICAL Know-it-all, you can expect your share of detraction. I mean, supposedly, she's against working mothers (and she is a working mother), and she's also against extra-marital affairs (guess who took those nude photos of her: http://www.pencilnecks.com/Laura.htm).
Patrick at August 16, 2003 10:02 AM
She's ugly too.
Lena Cuisina at August 16, 2003 11:30 AM
She probably doesn't get many letters from religious Jews as (based on several in my family, both sides) they don't bother listening to garbage talk radio. They're too busy volunteering for charities. They're too busy working and taking care of their families to worry what this old slag-bag is spewing this week.
No Christians, on the other hand, as always trying to nose into others' business. I'd had some problems with these folks on the job. Whatta bunch o' creeps!
HB at August 22, 2003 11:32 AM
God is working inside Dr Laura. I know it. Soon she will be a Christian! Praise Jesus!
Michameyn at September 14, 2003 1:24 AM