Amy Goes Head To Head With The Ape
Well, I must say my appearance on Faith Under Fire did not go well. The guest I was debating, via satellite hookup, was a guy named Frank Pastore, a former pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, who apparently decided god exists because he experienced people praying for him in great earnestness.
What a rude man! In fact, he was so rude to me on the show that the host, Lee Strobel, and the exec producer, along with a gaggle of producers and other crew, all gathered around me after the show and repeatedly apologized for how he behaved.
The show started with Lee asking me a question: why I don't believe in god. "For the same reason I don't believe in Santa or the Easter bunny," I responded, "Because there's no proof any of them exist." Strobel then asked Pastore a question. Pastore responded -- uninterrupted by me, of course, since it would have been RUDE to break in. Strobel asked me a question. I began to answer when Pastore interrupted me and started talking over me. I politely asked that he let me talk. Again and again. He interrupted me again, and again, and again. And he just kept repeating the same long barrage about proof there is a god -- without ever actually offering any -- then berated me about what kind of proof I'd need, yet never let me respond. Every time Strobel would ask me a question, I could barely get a few words out when Pastore would cut in. What a bully. Equally disturbing, while I addressed my remarks to the topic of belief or lack of belief in god, Pastore made it personal, attacking me repeatedly -- down to sneering about my column name, The Advice Goddess. (It's a joke, dude.)
Twice, I said I was about to unhook my mic and walk out, and Strobel did his best to try to civilize the discussion each time -- but to no avail. Pastore's rudeness was really unfortunate, because this could have been an interesting discussion -- but there was no discussion whatsover -- just a bully shouting over me and making derogatory remarks about me instead of sticking to the topic.
Here's a copy of the e-mail I got from one of the producers after the show:
Thank you and...I apologize again that the other guest was so aggressive and obnoxious. We had no idea that that was the way it was going to go down.
Meanwhile, you were able to maintain your composure with dignity and femininity in stark contrast to Frankís demeanor during this segment.
I really appreciate you being such a good sport under the circumstances.
All the best,
Caroline
And here's my response:
Thanks -- I really appreciate that. You guys were all very nice and professional. Thanks for having me on. I'd be happy to come back some time for some intelligent debate -- with somebody capable of having one. Sadly, I could have had a very intelligent conversation, I think, with Lee -- who has a similar point of view as Frank, but was very gentile in his manner of disagreeing with me. All the best, -Amy
How horrible. That sort of imbecilic behaviour does *not* make good TV. They'll very likely scrap the show.
Stu "El_Ingles" Harris at September 3, 2004 4:15 PM
Sounds about like the first and only conversation I ever had with Andrew Breitbart.
LYT at September 3, 2004 4:19 PM
Yeah. And it's unfortunate, too, because it could have been a good segment. I had a similar experience with Dennis Prager, another fundamentalist bully. He talked over me repeatedly as well. Danielle Crittendon did the same -- both on Cybille Shepherd's old talk show. I finallly turned to her and said, "You're rude!" The crew afterward told me they were all cheering in the background after I did that. What's interesting is that I mentioned this worry to the producers in the beginning -- that men have more boomy voices than women, and that I hoped somebody would caution the guy to have an even, polite exchange. Good intuition, I guess, on my part! Unfortunately, it's a little late to teach a grown manner the rudiments of polite conversation the day of a TV show.
Amy Alkon at September 3, 2004 4:23 PM
Amy
Here is what you do. This is what I'd do. Don't follow it at your own peril.
There are couple maxims that apply here.
First, kindness is peceived as weakness and the most strident is probably right. These aren't true of course, but in the low brow eye of the public, they are thought of as being generally true.
So, when senor pastore begins interrupting you
never let that stand. Never. You must immediately counter attack and keep talking till you have the floor back. Waiting, acting with class and decorum has no place on modern TV. I would keep talking regardless of what the host said until I had the floor wrestled back from him. Then turn to the host and chastise pastore for the host. If I was in the same studio with pastore I would have walked over and bitch slapped him, but that's me.
You've got to know from the onset, it's not going to be a civil exchange. know that. In the end, rightly or wrongly, the pesron that will be perceived as the winner will be the one that presents their ideas more forcefully, more stridently. Be ready to absolutely attack. The producers, despite what they say in their polite notes, love controversy, it's good for ratings.
Recommend me to the producers, put me there with pastore. I'd walk over and pull the mic out of his hand, and tell him to shut his mouth.
Remember this is not a forum for intellectual debate. It's TV, it's show biz. It's a circus.
volkay at September 3, 2004 5:35 PM
The weenie wasn't in the same studio -- perhaps a big reason he felt comfortable to be completely rude. I know what you're saying -- and I can tussle with the best of them -- and have, on Politically Incorrect and other shows. You have no idea -- this went way beyond the pale. Part of the problem was that he was in another studio. Made him feel he had even more license to show what a boor he is. This was way beyond winning a debate. They never apologize for other guests in television. This was outrageous.
Amy Alkon at September 3, 2004 5:51 PM
a little free career advice
which way are you going to get a TV show sooner?
being the girl that was run over by pastore and praeger or the red-headed bitch that slapped praeger and pastore down? Create some headlines of your own. remember, as long as they spell your name right. History and TV for that matter, don't favor the slapped down, only the slappers. Career wise, be ready and on the lookout for ANY situation that you can turn to your advantage. Go on fifty TV shows, be just another polite talking head, disappear. Go on Leno, walk over tilt his head back French kiss him, people are talking about it for weeks and you're remembered. It's simply the way it is.
volkay at September 3, 2004 6:25 PM
I might have said in the recommended booming and forceful voice if the god pastore believed in wouldn't be terrible disappointed at his fucking boorishness, and suggest that someone way down below was already stoking the eternal fire for his arrival.
Glad you liked the Sam Harris book!!
david at September 3, 2004 10:12 PM
You're absolutely right-- and I did say something like that, although I don't have a tape of the thing and it probably won't air. Pax, by the way (the network airing the show), doesn't pay talent -- unlike all the other shows that bring you on. What Would Jesus Do? Apparently, ask you to work for free. The heathens -- Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, etc. pay well.
Amy Alkon at September 3, 2004 10:22 PM