A Year In The Merde
It's the title of Stephen Clarke's hilarious-sounding new book on France.
Here's Clarke's mini "insiders guide to getting good service in France," published in the London Observer:
In France, when a girl says no she often means yes. So does a guy for that matter. Indeed, sometimes getting good service in France can feel a bit like non-consensual sex.Here is how the French 'no means yes' works.
I was in Reims to visit the champagne cellars and didn't want to leave the city without seeing the most spectacular of them, at the Pommery winery. Only trouble was, it was Sunday lunchtime, we were due to leave on the five o'clock train and you have to book a place on a guided tour.
I phoned Pommery and asked when the next tour was. 'Oh, we haven't got any vacancies till the 4.45 tour,' the hostess told me.
'You've got nothing at all before that?' 'No, sorry. We're completely booked up.'
At this point, the faint-hearted customer is supposed to ring off and leave the hostess in peace with her neat reservation list. But I've played the game before.
'But we've got a train at five,' I said, 'so 4.45 would be too late.' 'OK,' the hostess replied, 'how about 2.30?'
'Perfect,' I said, and reserved.
There was absolutely no point entering into an abstract moral discussion about why the hell she hadn't offered 2.30 in the first place. I'd got what I wanted, so who cared? Again, the vital thing is not to take it personally, a feat that becomes almost impossible when you reach...
Level three
Drive The Customer MadI don't think they do it deliberately. It is just their way of showing you that it's the service provider, not the customer, who is always right.
http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4105
kittie at February 2, 2005 1:08 PM
This would explain their oft-mentioned reputation for rudeness, among other things. My closest friends who have done much travelling in France swear that the French are gracious people, and not at all the arrogant snobs they are reputed to be, and that any perception otherwise is due to misunderstandings.
To wit:
1) They don't speak English. Unlike most Europeans, who have at least a handful of English, the French don't speak the language. Probably due to the animosity that has existed between France and England since before the U.S. even existed.
In fact, according to my friend, asking a Frenchman if he speaks English is likely to get you the cold shoulder, because he will assume that you are English. According to him, you'd get a much warmer reception if you asked him if he spoke American.
2) In the states, when we buy something, we go to the store we need, find what we want get it, proceed to checkout and go. Parisian merchants are likely to think you're a shoplifter if you conducted yourself that way in their store. Upon entering their store, you're expected to greet the owner and compliment him on his store. (Again, this is what I've heard. I'm expecting the Goddess herself to confirm or deny these points. It sounds to me that the French are expecting refinement and grandiose behavior and aren't accustomed to dealing with the rather unpretentious direct approach of Americans.)
Having never been to France myself, and knowing none of the language, I couldn't say whether any of this is true or not, but it sounds plausible. And I'm willing to chalk up their reputation to simple cultural differences rather than deliberate chauvanism, but I could be wrong.
Patrick, fan of the Advice Goddess at February 2, 2005 9:47 PM
Briefly, because I am on deadline for all the people who waited until the last minute to tell me that they couldn't live without a piece from me for Valentine's day, I must correct you, Patrick.
People call speaking English, speaking English. The English and the Americans dress and act quite differently, and what matters most is if you are not Parisian. (I don't go to France, just Paris. I plan on leaving the city limits for the first time this summer.) Anyway, what matters more, no matter where you are from, is that you don't look or comport yourself like The Ugly American. There are rude people there just like there are here. But people who get treated well are polite and make an effort to work it like it works in their culture, not expect it to be just like it is at home. Hello? If you want it just like it is at home...stay home!
Nobody treats you like a shoplifter. There's one key, saying, "Bonjour monsieur" (or madame) as you enter, and saying goodbye and thank you as you leave. This is a culture of relationships. People greet each other. It's nice. You say hello to the cashier, you don't just treat her like a button pusher. More people should do this here. I walk out of my friend's building and pass a total stranger, and chances are, that person will say "bonsoir."
Now, back to work. Perhaps Amerloque will drop by and add some wisdom.
Amy Alkon at February 2, 2005 10:59 PM
Reminds me of the time I visited Toronto, Canada's largest city, for the first time. The people were so polite, I was amazed. Strangers on the street would ask me how I was in passing, and they actually seemed sincerely interested. Can you believe that?
Well, my knowledge of French culture notwithstanding, at least my sources are correct in that the perceived rudeness is not due to elitism, but to expectations that Americans are not taught to live up to.
Patrick, fan of the Advice Goddess at February 3, 2005 12:56 AM
all i know is she's got a great body or figure and cute, not to mention, she's flexible as hell.
yea, i know, you would expect a guy to say that.
hey it's been 5 years for me, what do you expect!
james malina at February 3, 2005 3:48 PM
Yes, the French do speak English. Come to Paris and you will see that a lot of people speak English. But, you are in France, so it is normal for people to speak French. And how many Americans actually know how to speak another language, yet we expect everyone else to speak at least two languages (their own and ours).
The problem is that most english-only speakers don't come into a store and politely ask if the shopkeeper speaks English (in even their worst French). Instead, they just launch into English and they expect the shopkeeper to follow along. Imagine if you went into a store in your hometown and just launched into Mandarin Chinese and expected the person to understand, because it just so happens that Mandarin Chinese is the most spoken language in the world. I doubt that the reception you would receive would be very warm.
I grew up in the southern part of the United States where you were also expected to greet the storeowner and say goodbye when you were leaving. It was just considered polite and basic good manners. So, I guess I don't find it that strange that the French do it, as well.
Jason Stone at February 5, 2005 9:47 AM
Can you tell me if (by any chance) A year in the Merde is available in French...
I mean, translated in the French language so that French people like me (or I should say Parisians!!!) would read it very quickly and learn a lot from it.
In fact I am French and I think a lot of what Stephen Clarke wrote is true!!! It concerns many French people but mainly, more specifically the Parisian people!!!
I really need to know (ASAP) if a translation is being made or already exists. Maybe a French Editor is already interested to translate.
Looking forward to your message.
Sincerely,
Veronique Meyer
Veronique Meyer at March 6, 2005 5:55 AM
Um, I have no idea. Check on Amazon.fr under the author's name.
Amy Alkon at March 6, 2005 7:02 AM
si vous n'aimez pas les français, pourquoi venir en France, et puis on n'est pas obligé de parler anglais pour vous faire plaisir quand même, c'est un peu fort de voir à quel point vous êtes gonflés...
no comment?
ds at March 10, 2006 10:06 PM
A qui est-ce que vous parler? A moi? A Jason Stone?
You misunderstand. Because one explains something about French culture doesn't mean one hates France. In fact, I think most people here were saying something rather positive about France, or at least trying to understand differences in the culture.
I wish I knew how to say "Don't get your panties in such a wad!" en Français, mais, tristement...
Amy Alkon at March 11, 2006 8:42 AM
I am french and I see that most, if not all, of the Americans here are very polite and behave very well. Much more than the Americans I've known in London where they feel more confident. Unfortunately, customer service is a weakness of ours. Why? check this out : remember waiters don't get tips, just a little wage, so they can be tired and eventually can't be bothered acting nicely. This is a point, I know, I know several waiters. but yes you're right, it is sad.
Don't be fooled, most of Parisians DO speak WELL English. The rest a little less, but always enough to be able to help a lost tourist. I personnally stopped helping those who come up to me without even trying French. For the sake of respect and politeness, and for your own good, ever always try first in French, and if you definetly need the use of English, please speak a clear BBC English, and slow down!!, and if you're from the US watch your accent (can sound annoying sometimes).. and they'll love you...
and say "bonjour" and "au revoir", as i read it heretofore, don't take it personaly if shopkeepers don't always answer. If they don't, it's because they hate not just you but everyone!
please try not to believe our professional customer service is actually reflecting what the French are, it is not. We are friendly people, yeah we are, and we like to share views especially with Americans.
Have a good time if you come and visit.
Ciao
Maxime
Maxime T at November 24, 2006 9:44 AM
I am french and I see that most, if not all, of the Americans here are very polite and behave very well. Much more than the Americans I've known in London where they feel more confident. Unfortunately, customer service is a weakness of ours. Why? check this out : remember waiters don't get tips, just a little wage, so they can be tired and eventually can't be bothered acting nicely. This is a point, I know, I know several waiters. but yes you're right, it is sad.
Don't be fooled, most of Parisians DO speak WELL English. The rest a little less, but always enough to be able to help a lost tourist. I personnally stopped helping those who come up to me without even trying French. For the sake of respect and politeness, and for your own good, ever always try first in French, and if you definetly need the use of English, please speak a clear BBC English, and slow down!!, and if you're from the US watch your accent (can sound annoying sometimes).. and they'll love you...
and say "bonjour" and "au revoir", as i read it heretofore, don't take it personaly if shopkeepers don't always answer. If they don't, it's because they hate not just you but everyone!
please try not to believe our professional customer service is actually reflecting what the French are, it is not. We are friendly people, yeah we are, and we like to share views especially with Americans.
Have a good time if you come and visit.
Ciao
Maxime
Maxime T at November 24, 2006 10:06 AM
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