Ugly For Sale!
Remember how crappy you looked in 1977? Well, now's your chance to relive the fashion horror! This smock is from a store in Santa Monica, Bway just past fourth, that always sells the UGLIEST clothes. They should call it The Emperor's Retro Clothes, because stuff in the window always reflects the worst of the 70s and 80s, and it's got to be pretty expensive. Hello, girls? Have a brain and a sense of style, and you can buy clothes for five dollars at thrift stores and plastic jewelry on eBay and look fab.
Here's one of my pricier eBay purchases, a beautifully cut, thick, satin-lined vintage wool jacket I got in a bidding war for...gasp!...a whole $33:
(Of course smart women always wear clothes that show off their waist, or at least, give the illusion that they have one.)
Clearly, tastes differ. I like the "ugly" blouse
more than the jacket.
Ron at February 7, 2006 11:09 AM
But, patterns or fabrics aside, Ron, do you really go for girls without a waist?
Amy Alkon at February 7, 2006 1:52 PM
"Remember how crappy you looked in 1977?"
Excuse me? In 1977, I was a 15-year-old gay boy with blue/black spiked hair, smudgy Stagelight indigo eye pencil, and a pink David Bowie t-shirt. I was fucking adorable! But then I got my dick cut off in a sex-change operation, and it grew back 2 days later. It was an angry inch!
Lena, Eurotrash at February 7, 2006 9:42 PM
And I was 7 with woolen hose and clogs.
You were probably the only adorable one in 1977 Lena. Except for Bowie, of course.
I too prefer the purple one, Amy. But that's because I'm overly busty and short-waisted, therefore look round in anything that cinches at the waist. It's either wear something smocklike and flowy or tight all the way, which results in too many men having conversations with my chest. I think straight men expect the girls to burst into song or something.
Kimberly at February 8, 2006 3:02 AM
Waists are nice, but I'm willing to compromise. The "ugly"
blouse, without being at all revealing, does a nice job of
directing attention to the breasts.
Ron at February 8, 2006 3:45 AM
Guess what, Ron? I would bet your genes aren't. You might think you'd be most attracted to somebody in this ugly thing, but I'd bet it wouldn't play out as you think in reality. And as somebody with a large rack, lemme tell you, there are plenty of options that aren't this ugly for making it known.
I never understand all the complaints about men having conversations with one's chest. Men don't do that to me. I think a lot of women just say that so they can wear clothes that aren't attractive.
Kimberly, you may think you're at your most attractive without a waist, but Devendra Singh's research on WHR (Waist-To-Hip Ratio) says differently.
Amy Alkon at February 8, 2006 3:54 AM
Oh, I know I look better when my waist shows - when I wear something long and fitted, for example (not so much a two piece outfit), but I do get men talking to my chest. There was this waiter at the Grand Lux Cafe at the Venetian in Vegas my very gentle husband almost punched, for example.
I honestly don't know why it bugs me so much, but it really does. I always want to stare blankly at their crotches for a while to see how they like it, but I'm afraid they would.
If I had the figure for them, though, it would be 30s vintage stuff all the way - love those styles.
Kimberly at February 8, 2006 6:14 AM
I've always liked it when someone stares blankly at my crotch, especially if they start licking their lips. I have no problem with that at all.
Lena at February 8, 2006 7:44 AM
>Guess what, Ron? I would bet your genes aren't.
I believe you're invoking a statistical argument against
a non-random sample.
Ron at February 8, 2006 12:11 PM
"...but I do get men talking to my chest."
I wish you seven foot tall women would stop wearing spike heels!
steve at February 8, 2006 3:53 PM
If you're peeved that one of us guys are talking to the twins, you can think about this: either you aren't saying anything especially brilliant, in which your eyes are saying there's nobody home, or your eyes are that of a magnificent killer she-ape, which are totally intimidating. Take your pick, based on your self-esteem; maybe you look like you've just let go of the stripper's pole, maybe not.
I find faces fascinating, but only some of them, and they sometimes shout at me without making a sound!
Radwaste at February 9, 2006 4:36 PM
So if men stare at my chest, I'm either stupid (looking, at least) or ugly/scary.
Wow. And all this time I thought some men were just obsessed with women's body parts. I feel properly chastened and will now go seek education and plastic surgery to make myself more presentable.
Luckily I'm not actually some insecure woman-child who takes a faux bon mot seriously.
Kimberly at February 11, 2006 2:52 AM
Very nice work,You are doing great job!
Andrew at July 1, 2006 8:05 PM
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