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From The "People Say Crazy Shit When They're Drunk" Files
Get me really drunk and I'll probably just keel over. This isn't to say I can't hold my liquor. I can -- providing I'm not expected to hold any more than a thimble-full. Forgive me for cutting into the major Mel fatigue you must be feeling right now (correct answer: "That's okay, Sugar Tits!"), but I liked a piece Bill Maher had on HuffPo about L'Affaire Skunk-Drunk Mel:

As I watch so much of the world ask Israel for restraint in a way no other country would (Can you imagine what Bush would do if a terrorist organization took over Canada and was lobbing missiles into Montana, Maine and Illinois?) - and, by the way, does anyone ever ask Hezbollah for restraint. you know, like, please stop firing your rockets aimed PURPOSEFULLY at civilians? - it strikes me that the world IS Mel Gibson. Most of the time, the anti-semitism is under control, but that demon lives inside and when the moon is full, or there's been enough alcohol consumed, or Israel is forced to kill people in its own defense, then it comes out.

I've heard Mr. Gibson say he's sorry, and that he's wrong, and others say, well, he was drunk, he's got a disease, etc. But my question is, what is the root of this, Mel? I mean, we all say crazy things when we're drunk, and we've all undoubtedly had ugly moments when we're superstressed out and then drunk on top of it, I know I have - but what comes out at that moment isn't a tirade against the Jews. Yes, liquor releases demons, but I want to know why the demon in Mel Gibson is hatred of the Jews to begin with (I know, the father). Why, when Mels's id is released, its about the Jews fucking everything up, just like it was with Hitler. Except Mel Gibson, when his id is in check, I believe, really knows how wrong that is, and how stupid. He, I believe, at least fights with himself about this.

But he'll never win as long as he's so religious, because, I hate to tell you, the disease isn't alcholism, the disease is religion.

But that's another essay.

For now, let me just say again: the world has their simmering hatred of the Jews under check most of the time, but do watch them when they start weaving on PCH.

And Mel, let me remind you: The Jews have not started all the wars in the world. But they have greenlit all the movies.

I'm with Bill. Don't give me that "drunk people come up with the craziest things" crap. Drunk people go off on what's already in their head. If I, for example, were a ranting drunk, I'd probably go off on, say, Puritans and flip-flops, and maybe Puritans in flip-flops; i.e., stuff that's already in my head. I think I can pretty much guarantee, under no circumstances am I going to start ranting and raving about how much I hate the Jews -- or the Coptics or anybody else for that matter.

Mel's clearly a religious idiot who hates the Jews. If you're Jewish or you hate people who hate people and/or people who promote irrational, religiously based hatered of people...don't see his movies. I haven't seen one in years, and I didn't need him to get drunk and ugly to figure out he isn't somebody whose views or "Malibu-owning" lifestyle I want to $upport.

One wonders if, perhaps, a little of Mel's father's "wisdom" rubbed off on him. Check this out.

And then there are all the right-wingers who've previously bent over so far to defend Mel that it seemed like a group goatse...who are strangely silent or near-silent. Check out a rather hilarious past bendover, from National Review's "K-Lo." Well, call me Sugar Tits, but it seems she has a soft spot for feminists. Well, a certain feminist:

Mel Gibson might be my favorite feminist. If he's not number one on my list, he's pretty close, in competition with Pope John Paul II.

As you probably suspect, I don't have in mind the usual definition of "feminism." I can guarantee you there'll be no fawning Ms. magazine cover story on Gibson (or JPII).

But give me a few minutes to fawn a little.

I, like others, have now seen an in-progress version of Gibson's remarkable film. There is so much to be said and that will be said about the movie. Folks who get turned off by nonsensical talk that it is anti-Semitic will miss an unparalleled movie experience. But what they'll also miss is Mel Gibson, the feminist.

Move over, Betty Friedan!

Posted by aalkon at August 3, 2006 10:01 AM

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The Lopez thing is no fun to read. She may be stuck in admiration for another Catholic, or responding to a filmmaker's manipulations as Hollywood wants her to: "He shows a real understanding of the depth of women's feeling..."

But there are nice things to say about Mel Gibson, first about how he handles women. Twenty years ago women my age would coo about him the way younger women talk about Pitt or Diesel today. But if he's a typical showbiz horndog, we haven't heard about it. Gibson's had seven kids by one woman: Fellow action hero and academy award-winning director Eastwood has seven kids by five women. We're told Gibson makes the studio fly the whole family out to locations. He loves his wife despite acknowledging that he thinks she's destined to burn in Hell forever. The picture of Mel flirting drunkenly with young Kentucky blondes the other night has no element of lechery, and they report no groping or come-ons.

Also, his psychoses are transparent, even if his abject anti-semitism has been hidden. As Maher says, "he fights with himself". But every movie of his has a torture scene, and people who care enough can watch the gears turn inside his head.

Prager pointed out yesterday that Gibson's ABC tv holocaust project that's been cancelled was not being made by Jewish people. Even if the particulars of its viewpoint would have needed some review, it would have been an unalloyed blessing for another generation of young viewers to see the holocaust thoughfully depicted. That's not going to happen now.

I'm not a fan and am not defending Gibson. But as despicable as his comments were, they were no less inane. He complained about Jews in *Malibu.* Jewish people have been instrumental in making him the wealthiest actor in the world. Most people rightly see his interior thoughts as "idiotic" (Maher's word), not threatening.

Posted by: Crid at August 3, 2006 8:43 AM

When I get supersaturated I usually just roll around on the ground, snorting and giggling. Though I hear it gets annoying after awhile.

Posted by: Paul Hrissikopoulos at August 3, 2006 10:22 AM

Let's try to come up with some good community service requirements for Mel... like something that involves kneading a lot of matzo balls for little old ladies in the Fairfax district.

Posted by: Lena at August 3, 2006 12:09 PM

He was berating a jewish cop. Why is it such a surprise he took a shot at Jews. Was he suposed to take a shot at Catholics to piss off the jewish cop? It is not anti-semetism, it was the only weapon his liquor addled brain could throw at the guy who cuffed him. For that matter "sugar tits" being the best he could do for a female cop is more evidence on how drunk he was. People tend to take things said by celebrities way to seriously.

Posted by: pvm at August 3, 2006 1:23 PM

He was berating a jewish cop.

And how would he have known that?

Posted by: Stu "E Inlgés" Harris at August 3, 2006 1:44 PM

The goddess writes:

I'm with Bill. Don't give me that "drunk people come up with the craziest things" crap. Drunk people go off on what's already in their head.

Thank you, Amy. You should see the type of garbage I'm dealing with on my AOL message board.

Here's a post written in reply to mine, when I said, that Mel Gibson was out of control and his attitudes "didn't come from nowhere." (Name removed to protect the idiot, who is also conservative, by the way.)

Let's take a reality check here, Patrick. We are all a product of our upbringing to a certain degree. It is well known that Gibson's father IS an anti-Semite who has even questioned the reality of the holocaust (at least in terms of numbers). It is reasonable to expect that some of that sentiment "rubbed off" on Mel during his upbringing. However, it does not necessarily hold that he, as a free thinking adult, holds the same level of anti-Semitism as his father. He likely struggles against it!

I was raised in the deep south. It was a common occurrence to hear the word "nigger" flow from the mouths of my grandparents as easily as discussions of the weather. It is, however, a forbidden word in my household. Being much further removed from the "bygone days" of my elders, I appreciate the hateful sentiment of such words. I am NOT a racist!

Now, suppose I was to be found in a drunken stupor and accosted (even if only in my drunken mispercetion) by a black officer. The word "nigger" rolls from my drunkenly belligerant and disinhibited lips. Does it make me a racist? Or is it simply a matter of a willingly suppressed upbringing coming to the surface because of an intoxicated state?

I honestly can't say that it wouldn't happen to me, Patrick. But I CAN honeslty say that it wouldn't be a true reflection of who I am as much as a product of an upbringing that I have struggled to purge from my persona for my entire adulthood.

I replied, "Thanks for the hilarious post. If anyone ever claims that liberals are the only ones who play the 'victim' card, I'll direct them right to your comments."

I made the mistake of pointing out that I've never been falling down drunk a day in my life. I don't drink now, but when I did, when the buzz came, I decided it was a sensation I didn't like and cut myself off. So, of course, that meant my opinions weren't valid, since I had no personal experience with intoxication and therefore couldn't possibly know what a drunk goes through.

The LAST person on earth I would trust to describe the effects of alcohol would be a drunk, because it usually comes from them in the form of an excuse, "It's not my fault. I was drunk."

Posted by: Patrick at August 3, 2006 1:55 PM

I hold Israel to the same standard that I hold the US. And no, the hypothetical proposed by Maher is not applicable to the present situation in the ME. You'd have to set out the 60 years of fighting and land grabbing and other nasty behavior to make it analogous. And there's no way that can be done for any media soundbite. Even written.

Posted by: moe99 at August 3, 2006 1:56 PM

You'd have to set out the 60 years of fighting and land grabbing and other nasty behavior to make it analogous.

I agree. Further, the territory that is now the USA would have to have once belonged to Canada -- or, OK, a series of tribes having much in common with Canada. The territory would have to have been assigned to the Americans -- foreigners with a separate culture and language -- by a
bunch of geriatric Brits.

Further, the USA would have to be occupying a strategic piece of territory that really belongs to Canada's close neighbour and ally. And so on and so on. No, it doesn't work any better than Amy's own California/Mexico analogy of a few days ago.

Posted by: Stu "El Inglés" Harris at August 3, 2006 3:00 PM

"people who care enough can watch the gears turn inside his head."

Not exactly my idea of a fun night out.

"Drunk people go off on what's already in their head."

And the booze just loosens up their tongues a little. He's obviously anti-semitic. But let's not act like this is rare. Much as we might hate to admit it, we all have a bit of Melbollah in us. My own racist/sexist garbage spews forth when I'm stuck in traffic. If I were drunk right now, I'd share the hideous details with you. But I'd rather let all of you continue holding my fat ass up on a high moral pedestal.

Posted by: Lena "Sugar Clit" Cuisina at August 3, 2006 9:52 PM

He knew he was a jewish cop because he had a jewish last name. Not exactly rocket science.

Posted by: PVM at August 4, 2006 6:23 AM

I don't know what that means. Are you saying there are names exclusively reserved for jews?

Maybe he also said "You're under arrest, oi vey my life already" just to complete the stereotyping?

Posted by: Stu "El Inglés" Harris at August 4, 2006 7:19 AM

I thought the cop's last name was Mee. Not exacty "Shimon Goldfarb."

Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 4, 2006 7:37 AM

Stu, please. We take in all sorts of information about people on an unconscious level, and form impressions of them based on other people we've known. I really don't think it's so unspeakably presumptious to perceive someone as Jewish (or whatever). We don't need to look at names, or passports, or check for intact foreskin.

One of the things I hate about drunks and drug addicts like Mel Gibson: Their irresponsible behavior gives the right of us an opportunity to feel so friggin' holy.

Posted by: Lena at August 4, 2006 7:46 AM

"the right of us"

I meant to say "the rest of us"

Posted by: Lena at August 4, 2006 7:48 AM

My apologies. The first article I read about the incident mentioned a cop named Leviene. I wasn't able to find that article but I found others (many) that mentioned officer Mee. So maybe he is an anti-semite, but I believe it is more likely he is just a drunk that said something offensive.
Pretty common. But somewhere I thought I read the arresting officer was jewish. Could be that I was wrong. But, not worth doing further research on. Spent way to much time on something that was barely newsworthy already.

Posted by: PVM at August 4, 2006 9:46 AM

Is it illegal to have anti-semitic thoughts in the US? If not, what has Mel actually done to deserve this treatment? Do all you critics have such control over your thoughts that you never have to hold your tongue?

Posted by: Norman at August 4, 2006 10:25 AM

Personally, Norman, I'm concerned about Gibson's anti-semitic blathering because we live in a country where people are sometimes assaulted and murdered simply because they are Jewish. And there are surely some gunowners out there who heartily agree with the big millionaire hotshot.

Seriously, after Gibson gets out of treatment, I want him to do community service for old Jewish ladies -- cleaning their homes, massaging their feet, taking them for walks around the block.

Posted by: Lena at August 4, 2006 10:49 AM

That would be great. But I agree with Norman that we can't hold him responsible for anything but the immediate violation. People are sayng In Vino Veritas as if it were truth serum and that's too simplistic.

Theres more to say but I'm typing with one hand. Seriously! No, really! The Red Cross platelet center in WLA shut down a couple weeks ago, so today is my first day at the UCLA facility, where they use needles in just one arm instead of needles in both arms. And they have these computer terminals hanging over each chair so you can pick fights with advice columnists while the machine harvests your precious boldily fluids. Or you can watch a dvd on the screen, and they have every movie ever shot.

They take good care of you. They gave me parking pass (good all day in Westwood!), two movie passes to the theater of my choice, and a super-techho insulated picnic basket for summertime fun outdoors. Plus all the techs are babes. Plus cookies and coffee.

Posted by: Crid at August 4, 2006 1:00 PM

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