What's Wrong With Sexy Mommy Halloween?
I'm in Paris, where many, if not most, of the women have sex appeal -- into their 60s and beyond. And you know what? That's smart. You want to keep a man, don't dress so he'll confuse you with the plumber.
Allison Glock doesn't get it, writing an op-ed whine about sexy Halloween costumes for adults for the IHT. An excerpt:
While the hemlines were slightly lower on the Kmart French Maid and Cheerleader, Wal-Mart hewed to form with a saucy Red Riding Hood and a naughty rag doll, advertising a "sultry vinyl bodice and thigh-highs - lollipop not included."
A theme was emerging. And it wasn't Halloween. Since when did Halloween costumes become marital aids? The hobo has turned into the Hillbilly Honey. The traditional vampire is now the Mistress of Darkness. I have nothing against playing erotic dress-up, or even mass-market fetishism. I'd just prefer it didn't converge with a family holiday (and wasn't sold next to the dryer sheets). If you want to play cheerleader at home - go team. But trick-or-treating with your children in anything featuring latex and cleavage seems like a little too much trick.
And really, wasn't Halloween the one day modern women could relax about looking hot? What if I just want to be a mummy sans yummy?
I noticed that on the outside of every package was a photo of a woman modeling not only the costume, but teetering heels and bras of the push-up variety. The First Lady costume was not, as one might expect, a red business suit, but a pink crepe mini-dress. At least it had the matching pillbox hat. The angel was dubbed "heaven's hottie."
My girls were confused. "Where are the monsters?" they asked.
"Where are the superheroes?" I pointed weakly to Wonder Woman and her thigh-high boots. "She's pretty," said my 4-year-old. Before adding, "You can see her breasts."
As I watched them scan the selections, soaking in the unspoken message, I remembered my freshman year in college, going to a Halloween party dressed as a pumpkin. My face was painted orange. My torso was covered in fabric stuffed into a wide, round orb. It was not seductive. And it hadn't occurred to me that it should be. There were no adult pumpkin costumes in the stores this year. No vegetable costumes of any sort.
You know, lady, your girls would do well to see you dressed as a sexy mommy instead of a big pumpkin. Maybe they'd learn a little something about how to keep a man. FYI, as an advice columnist, "Mommy sans yummy" is something I hear a lot about -- from all the guys having affairs with their secretaries.
I've heard it said that Halloween is an excuse for men to dress like women and women to dress like sluts. Personally, I always lean towards the slinky with my halloween costumes.
However, I have to say that I found your answer kind of disturbing. I think this lady's kids are way too young to be worrying about how keep a man. Don't you? That's a lot of pressure for a four year old (who may be a budding butch as far as we know). Personally, I do know something about keeping men. As a former sex worker (domination and "fantasy wrestling" - don't ask), I have to say that the vast majority of men who step out are doing it because they're 1) too cowardly to get out of a relationship that isn't making them happy, 2) too embarassed about what they really want to share it with their honey, 3) scum who feel like the rules of fidelity don't apply to them but would be livid if the tables ever turned.
And, also in my personal experience, most guys don't want their partners looking like trash anywhere outside the bedroom. I know it would make my husband extremely uncomfotable if I showed up in public dressed as Little Red in an outfit that made my boobs look like they were trying to race me to grandma's house. I see your point that guys don't want you to be sexless, but they also want you to be a lady.
Rita at October 21, 2006 6:55 AM
Judas priest. Just what does this woman want? No sexy costumes? Sexy costumes hidden under the counter like porno mags? The sexy costumes are out there not because of the sexification of America or something, but because Wal-Mart et al want to make a buck, and these things sell. To women, who enjoy dressing up sexy with society's consent, at least once a year.
If Allison wants to dress as a vegetable, an air duct, a Rototiller, or whatever, nobody's stopping her. The best costumes pretty much always are homemade, anyway. It just really frosts my scrotum when someone decides to do everyone else a favor, and restrict THEIR choice as well.
Cat brother at October 21, 2006 6:57 AM
I think your constant emphasis on sex appeal to keep a man is pathetic, or at least the self-delusion that you're the arbiter of what is and isn't sexy. Honest, Amy, some men like black jeans, white T-shirt, and (dare I say it) soft hoodie in a simple color. Some men find evening wear midday and oversized jewelry to be freakish and unappealing. And, really, you think preschoolers would benefit from seeing mom flaunt her breasts in public? How about showing young girls that it's good to be smart and funny and kind and socially aware first? Let's at least wait until junior high until we turn them into little vixens.
Boo at October 21, 2006 11:46 PM
Pathetic? Try realistic.
Of course it's good to be smart and funny and kind and socially aware. That's what I write to girls who write me who are too much into boys. Isn't this obvious, though? Do we really need to say, "be sexy but also have substance"? Maybe if you don't understand that you're functioning at such a basic level that you need serious remedial help in a whole lot of areas.
The reality is, too many American women have been poisoned by the idiocy that is American feminism. Feminism, when it's for equal pay for equal work, and women having the vote, is good. Feminism, when it suggests men and women are the same, and their desires are exactly the same, is idiotic.
Amy Alkon at October 22, 2006 1:39 AM
Why had nobody looked at this from another perspective? If women feel good about their bodies, they usually want to show them off. If a woman wants to wear a sexy costume, it is entirely up to her to decide. It's not up to her husband to decide what she should wear, based on his insecurities. Men and women have a lot of hangups about sex, and men have their own agenda of trying to control female sexuality (check the Discovery channel and assorted research on that one!) Why aren't all the soccer moms obsessing about what men wear?
Chris at October 22, 2006 7:47 AM
As usual, you miss the point of a post that disagrees with you.
My point, again, is that you are not the arbiter of what is and isn't sexy. It's certainly not evening wear in the middle of the day or the frou frou items you regularly describe wearing (at least not for anyone I know, which, again, is my point: sexy is a matter of personal taste) .
Also, where in my post did I suggest men and women are alike? I suggested that some men find the clothes you wear ridiculous and instead are sent around the moon by black jeans and a white T-shirt, or something other than gobs of makeup.
And, lastly, yes, little girls do need to be told they can both have substance and be attractive (note I didn't say sexy; did you actually mean to write this sentence about preschoolers, "Maybe they'd learn a little something about how to keep a man.")
But, again, we all have different ideas of what looks good, even the men you so often treat like simpletons who can be manipulated with the right push-up bra.
boo at October 22, 2006 9:06 AM
"It's not up to her husband to decide what she should wear, based on his insecurities."
OK, what about based on his erection? If you conducted a study, I'd posit a high correlation between women who cut their hair off and toss the miniskirts and women whose husbands don't fuck them.
snakeman99 at October 22, 2006 9:43 AM
If this post had any significant truth in it, I'd be a lesbian.
amy at October 22, 2006 12:22 PM
Rita, the mother shouldn't be talking about looking sexy to her kids, but looking sexy will send a message. The message "Look sexy for your husband" is a bad one? This doesn't mean you have to look like a street hooker to go to the grocery store, but tastefully sexy is good. Too many women let themselves go once they get a man in their life -- precisely the time they should be working to look good. Men are highly visual, and male sexuality is highly visual. Women who don't look sexy and who are "too tired" for sex are not doing their part for their relationship.
Women don't care about what men look like anywhere near how men care about what women look like because their sexuality is different. Not so visual. Please read my columns and blog posts on this -- I believe there was one from a few days ago -- or read David Buss' Evolution of Desire. I'm too tired to go into a long explanation on this now. Men go for beautiful women -- the stuff that indicates fertility and health: .7 waist-to-hip ratio, clear skin, symmetrical features, youth, etc. Women go for men who are "providers" -- whether they want kids or not (since evolution doesn't know from birth control), and relate to men in a way that allows them to get to know whether they're "dads" or "cads." I've written and posted on this a million times. Please just read on. It's all explained.
Amy, lesbians are girls who like girls. Perhaps you don't know any lesbians, but I do, including some very sexy ones who take very good care of themselves.
Snake is right. And Boo, I know you have some little burr under your saddle about me, but read what Snake wrote and you might begin to understand. And jeez, you sure sound like you hate men, and have deep contempt for their sexuality. That's our biggest difference!
Amy Alkon at October 22, 2006 3:26 PM
PS Lena said, "If you look like Audrey Hepburn did in 1963, you can probably get away with a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans."
Lena added: "But not for long."
Amy Alkon at October 22, 2006 3:29 PM
"You want to keep a man, don't dress so he'll confuse you with the plumber."
Words to live by.
(But I would encourage the men out there to follow the same advice.)
maitresse at October 23, 2006 12:47 AM
"Too many women let themselves go once they get a man in their life -- precisely the time they should be working to look good."
Amy,
This is the sort of garbage that was being rolled out in the counter counter culture sixties.
Feminism might have been shit about fashion advice from time to time. But I think they got the "mutton dressed as lamb" warning about right! Some of the worst frights I've seen at Halloween ARE the aging Elviras (anyone over a fabulously pneumatic 18 - maybe early twenties, tops!).
Jody Tresidder at October 23, 2006 8:39 AM
I don't find troweled on makeup or Elvira extremes sexy. Some guys do like trashy looking women. There's a difference between making an effort and making too much of an effort. Sometimes it's a fine line.
But, what matters is what the guy in your life finds sexy, not what I do or anyone else does. And, just a guess, but most guys would rather see their woman in something a little more form fitting than painter's pants and a big old sweatshirt (see Dev Singh's waist-to-hip ratio research to understand the importance of a woman wearing clothes that reveal or give the illusion of a waist).
Laziness in the looks department is not a marital aid, especially not for women married to men. Go ahead and pretend it is, and I should be hearing from you when your marriage breaks up. At least, unlike your lawyer's advice, mine comes free of charge.
Amy Alkon at October 23, 2006 10:22 AM
I didn't know Halloween was still a "family" holiday. The fundies already hate it for promoting witchcraft, so might as well go all out in doing what they hate.
LYT at October 23, 2006 6:10 PM
The difference, Jodi, is that my advice comes with data behind it. There's good data behind the notion that women should dress to reveal a waist, etc. Where the feminists go wrong is saying, "Yes, there's data, but we don't care." More on this in an article by me in an upcoming edition of Hustler.
Amy Alkon at October 23, 2006 8:41 PM
"Where the feminists go wrong is saying, 'Yes, there's data, but we don't care.'"
...I'm a feminist. I care. I realize you're generalizing (I read the post on the benefits of appropriately applied generalizations). I am writing to request that you add new generalizations to your repertoire. I think there are many broad, generalized groups of feminists one could distinguish. I haven't identified them all or named them, but based on your great headlines, I'm sure you would capture their essence beautifully.
When I think of "the new breed" of feminists, what comes to mind is one of the relatively new monologues in The Vagina Monologues, entitled "My Short Skirt." It brings down the house. One of the lines is, "my short skirt - my defiance." Angry? Yes. Also associates feminism with the freedom and power to look hot and feel sexy, knowing you own everything under your short skirt. Not your (my) mother's feminism.
I don't know when I got old, but... I just wish the stores would not put the adult toys so close to the kid toys.
Michelle at October 23, 2006 9:37 PM
I call myself an "Elizabeth Cady Stanton" feminist -- women should have the vote and make the same pay for the same job (which doesn't mean leaving at 4pm to pick up the kids while the guy in the same job [or the woman without kids] sticks around til 7pm). I'm for equal treatment, not special treatment, or the perpetuation of the victim culture -- which feminism was largely responsible for creating.
My point of view: Life is often cruel and unfair. To everybody. Deal with it.
I just wish more stores sold adult toys. They're against the law in a number of states, thank you religious nutters.
I find the Vagina Monologues embarrassing. You don't find George Clooney going on stage screaming about his cock.
Amy Alkon at October 23, 2006 10:01 PM
Halloween is not just for families, its for everybody, which is why its so awesome. Its a time to be a kick ass hedonist and a giving person. See, when I was a little kid, it was awesome because I candy, got to dress up and pretend I was my favorite monster/superhero. In high school, I learned a totally new halloween, which now continues into my college life; Halloween is where women dress up REALLY FUCKING SEXY, POSSIBLY GET DRUNK, AND MAKE OUT WITH YOU!
That might be pissing off some of you vagina warriors out there, but hear me out before you gut me; there have been girls my age that I honestly never noticed up until halloween. When they dressed up as nurses, I was made into one hell of a sick patient. It's not my fault I never noticed these girls sexually because they didn't act very much like they wanted to have sex, and when that sexy costume goes on something inside me lights up. That male radar, and whatnot. Because amy's right; men want to have sex with pretty girls by nature. I HATE the idea (sorry if I rant) that this is some sort of flaw. Because sex is lust. Sex is not love. You can love somebody without having sex with them. I love a select few men in my life. I would take a bullet for my buddies, I trust them and enjoy their company. I do not feel good in my pants because of them and they are not allowed to touch me down there, because I dont want to have babies with em. I don't lust them. Women, however, with all the curves and such, thats a different story. Thats lust.
My choice, as an individual, is to have sex with people I love, as in women I love. This is my choice and it is part of my moral standard, standards to which I do not hold others. But to enjoy sex with a girl in a physical manner its because of her body and to some degree how she dresses it. Monkeys have sex too. I would be scared to have sex hard wired into my emotions, because then I would not be able to differentiate between when I loved a women for her brain and personality and when I lusted her body. And to all women out there who have thought like my girlfriends did, sex does not make me love you more!
sorry about that... tangent.
To the point at hand, I can only say that Amy has something correct; if you want to have a healthy sexual relationship it helps to dress in a manner that attracts the guy (I don't say "dress sexy "because I have noted amongst my friends that it can get a little subjective.) I don't know how well any ladyfriend I have had would take it if I stopped taking showers. She is right that on top substance, sexy helps. I would go so far as to say that it is more important to have the substance, but part of having substance is giving a damn about what others wants and needs; your man wants... nay, needs to have sex with things things that turn them on! So if you're a good girlfriend Id say youd care. If you were my girlfriend you would, at any rate. If you suddenly gained 70 pounds and wore grey clothing all day Id still be your friend, and Id take a bullet for you just like my buddies, but I would have my sex elsewhere.
Halloween rocks cause there are no rules but one; have fun. On that note, I missed the vagina monolgues when they played at my school theater. I instead went out to go see "The Departed". That has mark whalberg screaming about cock, but in a cool way.
Scott at October 24, 2006 2:32 AM
My boyfriend and I saw The Departed on the night it opened in LA, but I will only see The Vagina Monologues if somebody ties me down, and I don't mean that in a good way.
Scott, thanks -- really well put.
Amy Alkon at October 24, 2006 3:39 AM
Ouch, Amy!
What the dickens brought THAT on.
I can't see the point of ever scolding someone else's marriage (..." I should be hearing from you when your marriage breaks up. At least, unlike your lawyer's advice, mine comes free of charge...") without at least trying to be funny at the same time!
My advice for women wanting to bag an adorable mate is not insisting they serve their tits on the half-shell to achieve the optimal Darwinian decolletage.
Try working on making guys laugh instead. It lasts longer.
Stick with your 1950s template for maximising allure - and you stick every women in perpetual competition with her fresher, perkier sisters.
"You've come a long way, baby" - pah!
So you say "There's good data behind the notion that women should dress to reveal a waist, etc. "
But it takes about two seconds for YOU to extrapolate from that data that a dame who flinches at your decorative diktat deserves her divorce.
Even Scott - the self-admitted god's gift to the fuckable sexy nurse - admits such judgements tend to be subjective anyway.
Your advice sounds like it's coming from a Stepford wife who hasn't even got herself a ring!
Maybe I SHOULD try the 'Miss Havisham in the grocery store' look, Amy?
But, hey -what would I know? I'm only in my 20th year of wedded bliss!
Jody Tresidder at October 24, 2006 5:35 AM
Actually, Jody, I have an edition of the Elsevier Human Behavior & Evolution journal that I removed from my backpack before I left, with a study like many others that shows that humor in a woman isn't a way to attract a man. Humor in a man does work on women.
Again, my contentions are based on data, not just an opinion I pulled out of a flowerpot.
Because you're married for 20 years doesn't mean you know anything about attracting or keeping a man. Many people, especially women, stay in marriages because they don't have the funds to leave. Less true today than in decades past, but still true. Men, on the other hand, often stay in marriages because they realize they won't have much luck getting sex on the open market. And then there's simple laziness. I'd brag about quality only, not tenure, if I were bragging about my relationship. It's not a tragedy if a relationship ends; only a tragedy if the relationship goes on too long. People die. Things end. That's reality -- contrary to what the marriage as Disneyland propagandists will tell you.
Amy Alkon at October 24, 2006 6:03 AM
And sorry, but where, exactly, was the error in my earlier statement:
Granted, those wives who have let themselves go may feel a bit sensitive about such remarks.
Amy Alkon at October 24, 2006 6:10 AM
Still with the 1950s, Amy?
"It's not a tragedy if a relationship ends; only a tragedy if the relationship goes on too long. People die. Things end. That's reality -- contrary to what the marriage as Disneyland propagandists will tell you."
Why don't you update your reading to get past the Disneyland/Stepford propagandists?
"Because you're married for 20 years doesn't mean you know anything about attracting or keeping a man."
Why the hell not?
If I said I'd been married for five months thanks to time-retarding plastic surgery, you'd be the first to say "Whoa! Give it a little longer before you ask for a medal, girl!".
I'm in a "relationship" (marriage as it happens) for exactly the same reason you are: love first, last and everything. Yeah, I've been/am lucky.
And when I see a tearaway teenage niece who is swallowing every sexist message in the book just as she's got the body for it - boy is she an evolutionary alpha babe! - I want to scream at her: It's not always going to be this easy! Put down the wretched women's magazines - you have more than that to offer!
As for "wives who have let themselves go"!!
The old "touched a nerve, did I?" cattiness.
My parents edited a magazine in the 1960s that was an alternative to the then standard of knit-your-own-abortion-the-royal-family-way crap pumped out for the anxious houswife.
We used to laugh at the letters pages of the standard mags - with their scolding "tips" about not damaging your marriage by going without girdles or how black roots were the path to the divorce court.
Just because you update your advice with artlessly draped evening shawls and cunning boots doesn't make the message any different.
Jeepers, Amy.
Jody Tresidder at October 24, 2006 6:54 AM
They did a few things right in the 50s. I know that because I don't just suck down popular opinion; I read data and think a lot about what makes sense and what doesn't.
See the link below.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-column-archives/2006/05/the_missing_win.html
I do like the cunning boots bit. Nice phrasery.
And read the men like Snake and Scott who've commented above. If you don't think your husband wants eye candy, either you're married to a woman or a eunuch.
Amy Alkon at October 24, 2006 9:27 AM
"If you don't think your husband wants eye candy, either you're married to a woman or a eunuch."
Did you laugh so hard writing that you fell off your "exclusive" candy-colored Calzuros toddlers' clogs, Amy?
Any chick who buys her shoes from Amazon and all that...:)
Jody Tresidder at October 24, 2006 9:46 AM
"You don't find George Clooney going on stage screaming about his cock."
No, but I also don't set any of my standards by him, so it makes no difference. It would be easy (though equally meaningless) to turn to the many A-list actresses who have performed in the monologues
Having been in the Monologues once and seen them... maybe four times, I have not interpreted any of them as promoting a victim mentality. Some monologues do include detailed descriptions of women’s' experiences being on the receiving end of what our criminal justice systems would characterize, at the least, as "assault" or "battery," but none of them explicitly state (nor have I inferred) the conclusion "and now I am powerless everywhere in my life, and it is his fault." One monologue details a woman's revelation that she had been giving away her power, waiting for someone else to make her life work out - and then her experience of accepting responsibility for her life.
Re: "victim culture" - I'm frustrated that the jargon/short-hand we have for addressing one's relationship to what other people have done to us, and its impact, extends only to the terms "victim" (in the moment) and "survivor" (what you are, by default, if the actor/ experience didn't kill you).
Michelle at October 24, 2006 10:03 AM
Amy -
Re: Jody
To badly paraphrase Bruno Kirby from City Slickers, "She doesn't get it! She'll never get it! It's been 4 hours! The cows can wear thigh-highs and garter belts by now!" Thankfully, the remaining 90% of the human population and over 50,000 years of evolution do "get it." Jody, if your personality and wit is what gets your man hard - then may the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless your union forever. You're helping keep the price of trashy lingerie down for the rest of us.
Re: the Vagina Monologues - I've never seen them basically b/c I'm cheap and didn't want to fork over $100 to watch Margaret Cho or some other B-list celeb tune-up. I hear some of the text is clever and even meaningful, so maybe I'll catch it on DVD someday. However, I'm usually turned off by anything that prominently features the much over-used word "empowering." The truly empowered don't advertise.
snakeman99 at October 24, 2006 11:36 AM
snakeman - it's offered on some college campuses for $5-$10, featuring no-name (but often outrageous) college students having a lot of fun. Every live performance I've seen has been better than the HBO special.
Michelle at October 24, 2006 12:05 PM
Michelle -
Fair enough. I promise to keep it on my goldstarevents.com radar.
snakeman99 at October 24, 2006 12:27 PM
Re: "victim culture" - I'm frustrated that the jargon/short-hand we have for addressing one's relationship to what other people have done to us, and its impact, extends only to the terms "victim" (in the moment) and "survivor" (what you are, by default, if the actor/ experience didn't kill you).
Well, people have done stuff to me in my lifetime, and I'm not a victim; in fact, when called for, I'm kind of a bitch. Let's just say I'm a very good friend, and not a person you'd want for an enemy. Just ask my car thief and my hit-and-run driver, to name two.
Amy Alkon at October 24, 2006 3:23 PM
> study like many others that
> shows that humor in a woman
> isn't a way to attract a man.
Carolla says women aren't funny. When an attractive woman says she likes a guy with a se4nse of humore, what she means is a guy who'll laugh at sitcoms with her
Crid at October 25, 2006 5:53 AM
Besides, don't parents who take the holiday seriously help children make their own costumes anyway?
The Corporate Commoditization of the Child's Imagination and all that.
Crid at October 25, 2006 6:02 AM
"When an attractive woman says she likes a guy with a se4nse of humore, what she means is a guy who'll laugh at sitcoms with her"
If by "sitcoms" you mean "life" then, yeah, that's what we mean by a seductive "se4nse of humore", Crid. (Typos left in because they're strangely compelling.)
Jody Tresidder at October 25, 2006 6:29 AM
" 'It's not up to her husband to decide what she should wear, based on his insecurities.'
OK, what about based on his erection? If you conducted a study, I'd posit a high correlation between women who cut their hair off and toss the miniskirts and women whose husbands don't fuck them."
I just wanted to clarify what I meant by the original quote (in single quote marks!). Usually a man's insecurity will make him tell his girlfriend/wife NOT to dress sexy, because he is afraid that other men will look at HIS woman, and make a pass at her. His insecurity imagines that the outcome of this will be her sleeping with other men, because he feels he's not good enough for her.
Chris at October 25, 2006 7:23 AM
"Well, people have done stuff to me in my lifetime, and I'm not a victim . . . Just ask my car thief and my hit-and-run driver. . ."
...and people who spam you. I'm not a victim, either. I have spent years dealing with the effects of what other people chose to do to me (before I had the agency to prevent them). Cleaning up the messes of other people's transgressions is not how I prefer to spend my time, but 1) that's life, and 2) it's far better than the alternatives.
And in getting support to clean up those messes, I've noticed that the language used to refer to people who seek resources to deal with certain issues, is very limiting. I agree - the language currently used promotes a context of victim-hood.
I assert we need a new way to language/ refer to people who want/need assistance with cleaning up some of life's larger messes (such as the ones created through rape, incest, and child abuse) that does not encourage people to recreate their identity around what someone else chose to do to them.
To the extent that language shapes perception and thinking, framing people's choices as either being identified as a victim or not being able to access support services ("Have you been a victim of...?" "The Victim's Bill of Rights...") discourages people's agency.
In other words, I wish the media advertising assistance for support services did not use the words "victim" or "survivor." And I would like news reports to focus on the actors, not the acted-upon - to have news anchors use phrases such as "a man allegedly raped someone" instead of "a woman was allegedly raped."
I was raised to believe that I am responsible for my choices, coupled with the refrain "life isn't fair," which as an adult translates into, "I don't always get to create/choose which choices I have to choose from among." That said, we can relanguage these situations in a way that frames them in the context of agency and choice.
Are we obligated to do this for other people? Hell no. Would it assist people in relating to themselves and others with a greater sense of response-ability? Hell yes.
Tying this back into a comment about being on stage and ranting about one's dick - granted, the truly empowered don't advertise about being empowered - they're too busy acting in their best interests.
To assist people who are still making that transition, I'm all for reclaiming cunt, dyke, feminist, "my short skirt," and whatever else will encourage people to chase after car thieves like they have (property or other) rights to defend, whether or not they also have damages they need to repair.
Michelle at October 25, 2006 8:40 AM
Really great stuff, Michelle. I'm with you. Albert Ellis talked about something along these lines, but I was up til 2am and have yet to have coffee, so I'll try to post about it later.
Amy Alkon at October 25, 2006 11:57 PM
Hi many of you have made good points in these posts i am a married to a woman who is beautiful but she is a bigger girl no matter she is still wonderful but everytime i ask her to even dress up she jumps down my throat about how i want her to look like a hooker thats not what i said i mean she wont even wear heels. So for halloween i decide to dress like a secretary and wear her sexy clothes and heels and she says she doesn't like the idea.
Matthew at October 31, 2006 5:06 AM
I've written about this in my column before. Women, probably due to feminist propaganda, believe that they don't have to look sexy to keep a man. Now, maybe she doesn't want to look like she's selling it on Hollywood Boulevard when she picks up the kids at school, but if you love somebody, can't you find your way into a pair of fuck me pumps and a tiny skirt on date night? Women who refuse to make an effort are jeopardizing their marriages. It takes very little to please a man: understanding that male sexuality is visual, and acting (dressing) accordingly, is essential.
Amy Alkon at October 31, 2006 7:02 AM
Well i did as my post said i wore my wifes sexy clothes and shoes and dressed as a secretary for halloween. And i enjoyed every minute of it she even did my makeup and hair. I dont understand why woman dont like to dress up if i could wear those clothes all the time i would.
Matthew at October 31, 2006 8:30 PM
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