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Jack Writes Back!
What else does a guy have to do in prison? Here's my letter back from Jack Abramoff, typed at the bottom of my letter to him. (I guess they're a little short on typing paper in the stir.)

JackAbramoffreply.jpg

Still unaccountable after all these crimes! (Um, Jack, FYI, what I'm filled with is a strong sense of justice, and an ensuing loathing for people who behave as you did.)

While I'm a post-Jewish atheist, practicing Jew Jeff Jacoby has a similar take on the Jewish angle:

By his own admission, Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff is a crook. But that isn't the worst that can be said about him.

He defrauded his clients of millions of dollars, bribed public officials, cheated on his tax returns, and deceived lenders to qualify for a loan. But that isn't the worst that can be said about him, either.

He made himself at home in and contributed to the swamp of corruption that fills Washington with its stench. His e-mails to cronies, with messages like "Can you smell money?!?!?!" and "I'd love us to get our mitts on that moolah!!", oozed greed and boorishness. Behind their backs, he crudely mocked those who hired him, calling them "morons," "monkeys," "troglodytes," and "the stupidest idiots in the land." He played fast and loose with what were supposed to be charitable funds. But not even that is the worst that can be said about him.

The worst is that Abramoff is a Jew. Not only a Jew, but an Orthodox Jew — someone who claims to be committed to strictly observing Jewish law and faithfully adhering to the Torah's ethical standards. But instead of upholding those ethical standards Abramoff trampled on them, and a "religious" Jew who behaves so corruptly disgraces not only himself but all religious Jews. He brings his faith into contempt. He is guilty of what Jewish tradition calls, with disgust, chillul HaShem — a desecration of G-d's name.

For me — also an observant Jew — that is the worst thing of all.

And for a little balance, here's an unrepentant scumbag from the other side, Clinton administration national security advisor Sandy Berger. Berger stole classified documents from the National Archives, stashed them under a construction trailer, and cut them into tiny pieces. When this first came to light, he called it "an honest mistake."

They should stick him in a cell with Abramoff and give the two of them a lot of time to parse the meaning of that.

Posted by aalkon at December 22, 2006 8:19 AM

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Comments

Wow! Cool. I'd love to have Jack Abramoff as a penpal. Maybe I'll write to him, too. I'd love to regale him with my words of fabulous and irrepressible wit, reminding him of what a scumbag he is. Jack apparently has access to a typewriter, at least. A portable, from the looks of it. (They still make those things?)

Posted by: Patrick at December 22, 2006 12:39 AM

I was pretty amazed to get a reply back. Here was my original blog item on that:

http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2006/11/abramoff_writes_1.html

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 22, 2006 12:43 AM

amy said : " They should stick him in a cell with Abramoff and give the two of them a lot of time to parse the meaning of that."

Dont be so hard on them please ! ...

=> i think it would be fair to give them at least some condoms too ... :)

Posted by: krysalia at December 22, 2006 1:02 AM

That's great! Are you going to write back? Be sure to tell him that Lena's waiting to hear some good stories about all the schlong he's taking up the butt in prison! Prison rape has always been one of my favorite porn narratives...

Posted by: Lena at December 22, 2006 3:35 AM

Why did you write in the first place?

Posted by: Radwaste at December 22, 2006 3:57 AM

Jack Abramoff, repellent as his is, isn't the reason people hate Jews.

Posted by: Crid at December 22, 2006 4:44 AM

Now I know there's a slender tradition of Jewish criminality stretching all the way from Meyer Lansky to... umm... Jonathon Pollard.

But Jews aren't hated because they cheat and succeed, they're hated because they don't cheat and succeed anyway. Most people on this planet are childish and small-minded, and nothing offends them like competence.

Posted by: Crid at December 22, 2006 5:42 AM

Jack Abramoff will be an excuse for people to hate Jews or to justify their hate. And preventing some other little girl from going what I went through as a child is what inspired me to write. That and the fact that he sounds entirely devoid of accountability, and is, at the same time, all holier than thou. Not that this particular thou is holy whatsoever.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 22, 2006 6:40 AM

Crid, I agree with you that a lot of people are "childish and small-minded." If you check in with me anytime later on today, you'll very likely find me twitching in a bout of childish smallmindedness. What makes me hate others in those moments isn't necessarily their competence -- it's the shame that I inflict on myself for not having what they've got (their great jobs, MBAs, attractive partners, etc). Like many men, I don't "do" shame very well. It's a lot easier to hate all those goddamn _______s who steal all the good jobs, blah blah blah.

So, have yourself a shamefull little xmas and a humiliating new year. As poet Marianne Moore once wrote, "he who strongly feels, behaves."

Posted by: Lena at December 22, 2006 9:12 AM

Poetry is something I try to avoid, because I only enjoy it when drinking. What does that passage mean?

The thing is, great jobs, MBA's and attractive partners have to be earned... That why Arabs hate Jews: they know they could never do that. And they weren't lucky enough to be born into demanding Jewish families.

PS- George Bush is our first MBA president, and he got better grades at Yale than Gore did at Harvard.

Posted by: Crid at December 22, 2006 10:17 AM

That why Arabs hate Jews: they know they could never do that.

The Jews turned the arid, rocky land that is Israel into orange groves, bustling cities, universities, and centers for technological discovery like Haifa's Technion (http://www.technion.ac.il/). Not much has come out of the Arab world since the abacus.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 22, 2006 10:45 AM

PS- George Bush is our first MBA president

Hasn't prevented just about everything he's touched from turning to shit, though.

I've had a lot of experiences in my work life with MBA's who were put in charge of projects for which they have little or no experience (usually the latter), and had to be part of cleaning up the mess after they fucked it up royally. So the title "MBA" just on its own doesn't hold much sway for me.

Posted by: deja pseu at December 22, 2006 11:14 AM

"Poetry is something I try to avoid"

I expected it would get a sharp retort from you about the "interior life" of liberal poetry lovers or something like that.

I can't speak for Marianne Moore. But I think that the tendency to demonize Jews or other groups with a strong work ethic and some remarkable cultural achievements is partly a defense mechanism against feelings of shame. It's so much easier to hate and blame others with various conspiracy theories and bigoted myths than to face up to one's own shortcomings.

The Moore quote was there to suggest that we can change -- ie, if we do the dirty work of improving our own lot, we won't have to hate anyone else for their competence or achievements. It was also there to suggest that I am a shameless lover of good poetry.

Posted by: Lena at December 22, 2006 12:02 PM

> I expected it would get a sharp retort

Shit makes me cry

> partly a defense mechanism
> against feelings of shame

That's probably true, but they never feel ashamed of the things we want them to... Putting women in tents, etc.

Posted by: Crid at December 22, 2006 2:17 PM

Irrational hatred of Jews isn't limited to guys who put women in tents, you know. I think the substitution of angry bigotry for shame is something that cuts across cultures. Although I actually have no idea. This is all speculative, subjective blathering on my part. But what else is new? I just trying to avoid getting any real work done.

Posted by: Lena at December 22, 2006 2:43 PM

Here's an idea: a blog consisting of the correspondence between yourself and various infamous criminals who've nothing to do with themselves while serving out their prison sentences. Focus on two groups: 1. serial killers, for the obvious reasons (book potential, media attention etc.); and
2. big time white collar criminals. At least some of them are going to get out and return to business, and some subset of those might someday be in a position to do you some favors and want to help you out.

There was a time when I would have passed this idea on to an LA blogger I know who writes about rabbis on one blog and porners on another, but he has not proven himself to be the proper vessel for my many novel suggestions.

Posted by: R Sorge at December 27, 2006 8:03 PM

Wow... Just W.O.W.!!!

Really glad that you came up with this story and this information.

I just posted something about your story on my own blogsite, and I'm working on one more thing that I hope to have done later on today.

Posted by: Brian Mann at December 28, 2006 9:50 AM

Wow... Just W.O.W.!!!

Really glad that you came up with this story and this information.

I just posted something about your story on my own blogsite, and I'm working on one more thing that I hope to have done later on today.

Posted by: Brian Mann at December 28, 2006 9:51 AM

Wow... Just W.O.W.!!!

Really glad that you came up with this story and this information.

I just posted something about your story on my own blogsite, and I'm working on one more thing that I hope to have done later on today.

Posted by: Brian Mann at December 28, 2006 9:54 AM

I remember being taught to hate Jews in the 1950's, although we had none in the neighborhood.

I suspect that you hate Abramhoff because he is (was) a Republican.

Or maybe you are a self hating Jew?

Posted by: gorf22 at December 29, 2006 5:20 AM

I suspect that you hate Abramhoff because he is (was) a Republican.

Well, that's silly. Don't you see me "hating" Sandy Berger above for being an unethical slimebag?

And why would you assume I'm a Democrat? I'm not. I'm a fiscal conservative -- unlike the pretender to conservatism we have in office -- and a libertarian.

Or maybe you are a self hating Jew?

Is the concept of having a strong sense of justice really so implausible to you?

And I'm not a Jew anymore at all, except culturally. I'm an atheist, because I'm rational. Being raised Jewish gave me a lot, as my parents were reform Jews, so instead of learning a lot of mumbo jumbo, we read about Maimonides and Spinoza and Martin Buber, and were taught to think. Unfortunately for them, I took the thinking thing a little too far, and realized belief in god is primitive bullshit -- divisive primitive bullshit, which causes misery like that I encountered in my childhood.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 29, 2006 6:58 AM

A question: Why were you taught to hate Jews?

How sick that children are raised that way. Not much different from the Muslim children who are taught that Jews are animals.

Again, religion is CREEPY and sick, and the fact that the hatred that's dispensed is based in the belief, without evidence, in god, makes it all the more perverse.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 29, 2006 7:27 AM

Jack Abramoff will be an excuse for people to hate Jews or to justify their hate.




People who want to hate would find an excuse even if this crook never existed. The man has committed crimes and is being punished for them but to fault him for the crimes or ill manners of others is just as incorrect as finding fault in all Jews for the crimes of this one man.

Posted by: FAP at December 30, 2006 9:35 AM

Abramoff seems to be right about your lack of clarity of thought, however. If he lacks "accountability," what do you suppose he's doing in prison?

Posted by: Alex at December 31, 2006 3:19 PM

Alex, perhaps you don't get the paper much where you live, but the "accountability" was forced on him. Not the same as taking responsibility for your wrongdoing.

And yes, people will find their excuses to hate Jews -- I was told, at about age six, that I killed Jesus. Charming. At the time, I didn't even kill bugs. (I still take spiders outside on a sheet of paper.)

Anyway, yes, people will find their excuses on their own (see the guy above who was taught to hate Jews without Abramoff's assistance in the matter)...but do they really need Abramoff's help?

Posted by: Amy Alkon at December 31, 2006 4:45 PM


But Amy that's the point, he didn't help the people who hate Jews. They'd hate Jews for their hair cuts, or the color of their pants, or that they're too tall or too short.

If I'm a person who irrationally hates Jews and am behind you in a checkout line are you helping me hate Jews if you take an extra minute to pay your bill and that frustrates me? Granted fumbling for a wallet is not a crime, as Abramoff's actions were, but does that relieve you of fault for making me hate Jews all the more?

Blame Abramoff for greed, Blame Abramoff for corruption, Blame Abramoff for being a scumbag, but don't blame him for the irrational prejudices of hateful people.

Posted by: FAP at January 1, 2007 1:42 PM

Yes, they'll hate without Ambramoff, but it's still best not to give the haters any more ammunition than they already have. My point.

And FYI, I try to be very considerate of other people, so I typically have my wallet and credit card out ahead of time, so as not to keep the person behind me waiting. They'll have to hate me for my new bangs.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 1, 2007 2:50 PM

Yes, they'll hate without Ambramoff, but it's still best not to give the haters any more ammunition than they already have. My point.




And it's a good point. Believe me a lot of people would hate blacks less if they'd stop acting so black. I mean why don't they tone it down a bit.




And don't even get me started on gays. If those gay guys would just kill the speech affectations and learn to walk like men can you imagine how many more people would be able to tolerate them.




Sheesh. Why can't they just get with the program and stop giving ammunition to the haters?




Would you agree with any of the above?




There will always be people who hate because of stupidly, or ignorance, or because of their own demons. Giving validity to that hate just fuels their hate more. Laugh at them, ridicule them for their ignorance, but don't ever agree with them.




I see your point but by siding with the people who hate Jews you're helping them.

Posted by: FAP at January 1, 2007 3:29 PM

"By siding with the people who hate Jews..."

Um, I was just trying to show a guy who isn't accountable that his crimes meant something -- possibly to another kid who'll have to go through what I did.

That has nothing to do with people liking, hating, or feeling otherwise about Jews. In fact, I had no intention of posting this. I had no idea he'd ever write back. I only posted this because I was stunned that he did. So, ditch the ideas about the plot to side with Jew haters or anything else. As I believe I said or intimated above, I have a strong sense of justice, and a religious fanatic who's a scam artist without apparent remorse offends me to the core.

Abramoff isn't the only person I've written to over the years. I write nice and nasty letters, as deserved. Most recently, I wrote a note to Staples on Lincoln and Palms in Venice, complimenting them on Eric, their man in the copier section, who knew his stuff and helped me pick out just the right replacement for my dead Xerox machine. Forunately or unfortunately, I doubt it'll make my blog.

Posted by: Amy Alkon at January 1, 2007 9:42 PM

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