How To Best "Celebrate The Human Body"
My suggestion: Do it in the privacy of your own home. Whatever you do, unless you are built like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, please avoid the "World Naked Bike Ride":
On Saturday 10 March and 9 June 2007, in cities around the world, people will be riding bikes naked to celebrate cycling and the human body. The ride demonstrates the vulnerability of cyclists on the road and is a protest against oil dependency.
Like riding naked is going to do wonders for people paying attention to the road. And while bikers usually have good bodies, in this race, it's probably the nude beach types who will be taking to the highway. And on a nude beach, the people you'd least like to see naked are always the quickest to throw off all their clothes.
These people are not cyclists, they are exhibitionists. If they were true cyclists, they would know that even with padded shorts those bike seats kill your ass. And what about the pedals? Those suckers aren't designed for bare feet, that's for sure.
There are always a few off-route naked beer slides on Ragbrai, and you are absolutely right that it's always the people you least want to see naked who are the first to take off their clothes. They do it for attention. If they were hot, they wouldn't have to walk around naked to get people to look at them.
Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Pirate Jo at March 8, 2007 7:08 AM
Yeah, I'd bet my bottom dollar Lady Godiva was clinically obese.
Paul Hrissikopoulos at March 8, 2007 7:39 AM
How funny- London and Portland Oregon are the two cities with the most participation. Must be something about pasty white people...
(After seeing Borat last night, I have had my fill of naked people for the year. I still can't stop laughing.)
eric at March 8, 2007 7:39 AM
From The Onion (NSFW, depending on where you work)
"Naked Man Only One Comfortable With His Body"
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30705
Todd Fletcher at March 8, 2007 8:05 AM
In this context I don't want to think about your bottom dollar.
Norman at March 8, 2007 8:33 AM
I think more people should be uncomfortable with their bodies, or at least realize the discomfort of the rest of us with their bodies, and cover them up. If you are over 5, I don't want to see you in a Speedo. Not a sexy garment, not even on a sexy guy.
Amy Alkon at March 8, 2007 9:10 AM
Amy-
Who is to be the judge of whose body is acceptable? How would it be if I didn't want to see a black face, or a female one? Should blacks and females be required to cover up because of my discomfort? If so, it seems like you're defending enforced wearling of burqas.
If I find your body gross, it's up to me to look away. If you're right in my face, so that I can't look away, then I can sue for assault.
You're right about speedos, though.
Norman at March 8, 2007 9:42 AM
wearling -> wearing. Doh.
Norman at March 8, 2007 9:43 AM
Norman's being goofy, but it's true that people are strange about thinking that everyone else's body should be sexually attractive or we shouldn't have to look at it. You're right about the bikers and so forth... Modesty is underrated as a way to show respect to other people's feelings. But pop culture's appreciation of this stuff is tragically dim. People think that because they admire Jessica Alba and Brad Pitt, they have a very refined taste for beauty, when the opposite is true.
Crid at March 8, 2007 9:58 AM
Norman: That picture was just plain wrong.
André-Tascha at March 8, 2007 10:00 AM
Speaking of people you'd like to see naked, hey Amy, caught your age on a previous post and wanted to congratulate you on looking so hot at 42. My Fembot program moves forward...
Jo, of course you're still on the list as well. And I fully support anyone who looks anyhow's right to wear whatever, modest or immodest. I'm real leery of dictating taste, as Amy often points out, first and foremost we ought to practice it ourselves.
cat brother at March 8, 2007 10:30 AM
Thanks, doll. I'm actually 43 today. As Dr. Laura would say: "I'm my boyfriend's fembot." (Or something like that!)
As for dictating taste, I'm not dictating it, merely suggest others apply it when getting dresssed (or un). Suggesting some guy's fat, hairy ass should stay tucked away is a far cry from racism. Let's be real here.
Amy Alkon at March 8, 2007 10:51 AM
"even with padded shorts those bike seats kill your ass."
I feel an anally oriented comment coming on. It's on the, um, tip of my tongue.
Lena at March 8, 2007 11:15 AM
I would think that naked riding would be rather hard on the testicles. It's tough enough on them while fully and supportively dressed.
rocketman at March 8, 2007 11:24 AM
Happy Birthday, Amy!
deja pseu at March 8, 2007 11:39 AM
Yay, Amy! HB2U!
Norman at March 8, 2007 11:50 AM
HBTY, you don't look it.
Crid at March 8, 2007 12:03 PM
Happy b-day!
So am I to infer that a 5 year old looks good in a speedo, Amy? I personally vote for no speedos, ever, and a ban on spandex in size large, XL, and XXL. If you are a size large or higher, you do not belong in spandex.
Christina at March 8, 2007 12:16 PM
[sudden visions of the fold-out poster for Queen's Jazz album -- The one where there a mob of naked women starting a bicycle race. "Fat bottomed girls" and "bicycle race" reference all in one poster maybe?]
I'm a fairly frequent biker (weather allowing, I'm in Ohio), but I ride a recumbent trike which is more like pedaling an easy chair (at 65 lbs, I wouldn't think it'd be fun on the inclines in San Fran, however). Much less of the ass-killing mentioned above. I tend to ride either the 15 miles round-trip to work, or cover 25-35 miles on local bike paths. I highly recommend it.
Jamie at March 8, 2007 12:33 PM
Oh, and happy b-day. :)
Jamie at March 8, 2007 1:17 PM
Amy: Happy b-day! (working on your birthday? tsk, tsk)
As to Lena's comments about anally oriented...this is starting to become a theme on this site (grin)
André-Tascha at March 8, 2007 1:43 PM
Suggesting some guy's fat, hairy ass should stay tucked away is a far cry from racism -- Amy
Don't get me wrong - I think clothes are a blessing to almost all of us, me included. But where does this should come from? Do you want people arrested? Wait - this is the law, at least here in the UK. The naked rambler was arrested and jailed several times. The offence was breach of the peace, but he seems to be quite a peaceful fellow. Perhaps he was judged likely to incite a B of the P, which is really a statement about other people, not about him.
Arresting people seems over the top to me. What do you think, Amy?
Norman at March 9, 2007 1:30 AM
When I say "should," I'm talking about taste not laws.
Amy Alkon at March 9, 2007 5:46 AM
When I was a self conscious teen ager my Uncle would say that when I got older he thought one of the greatest things I could do to foster a good body image is to head off to a nudist camp. "You'll find...well...not many people are actually that attractive without their clothes on...and in turn learn hey you are in pretty good shape" So I say go out watch the spectacle and feel good that well you are most certainly looking better in your entire attire, and as another noted your bum leaves the scene unblemished.
Tara at March 10, 2007 12:15 AM
Borat's poster ad in Italy featured him in his banana hammock, which is even more disturbing than a speedo. Here in North America we were fortunate to see him fully clothed in a suit.
Chris at March 11, 2007 8:22 AM
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