Nobody wants to be all alone, but sometimes people deserve to be.

I think the acronym ROFL is horribly abused.
But in the case of this letter I actually fell off my chair.

Rough prison sex is hot fantasy #1. Tell him Lena is on her way!

Non-violent, you say? hmmmmmm, let's pretend for minute that I care - no, wait, I don't!

But that was pretty funny, thanks for sharing!

(Are we supposed to be sympathetic or something?)

Rough prison sex is hot fantasy #1. Tell him Lena is on her way!

Bwuhaaa! Lena! Fresca all over my monitor, thanks!

Maybe we should all chip in and get his hand a little Jennifer Lopez outfit...

Too bad Scooty Libby won't be doing time. He could be his "friend" and together they might convert to Islam.

He'll find everything he wants right there.

Amy,
Are you at all tempted to send a response?

In a word...no.

I can barely manage to answer all my mail from people I can actually help in some way.

Well, he can have a rockin' Pon farr party when he gets out, but in the meantime he'll be working on more important things...

What do I do?

Did they cut his hands off?

"What do I do?"

What do any of us EVER do?

Paul, you get +200 geek points for referencing Pon farr and making me laugh out loud.

What the hell does he think you are? The matchmaking goddess? Advise "Jump-suit Orange" that he will have a suitable "girlfriend" soon enough: a six-foot five 400-pound cellmate who thinks you remind him of his mother.

Hey, Don, he can still get with Jack Abramoff. Say what you will about his ethics, Abramoff is a HUNK!