Advice Goddess Lite
Sorry to have the pickins' a little slimmer than usual around here the past few days. (No, I'm not getting lazy!) I'm doing two events this weekend at LA Times Festival of Books (both -- woohoo! -- sold out).
First, I'm moderating a panel about happiness at noon on Saturday afternoon. Later in the day, I'm on with Dr. Laura. I was supposed to just introduce her, but she read my columns and blog, and liked what she saw, even plugged me as "ferociously funny" on the radio, and asked me to be up with her the whole time. I'll intro her, kick off the questioning with my own questions for her, and then moderate the audience questions. Writing her intro now! Back to the usual blog volume in the next few days!
Amy, that is SO EXCELLENT!!! You so ROCK!!! Good luck with it all! O_O
Flynne at April 25, 2008 9:32 AM
Wow, that's very cool. Enjoy!
jerry at April 25, 2008 10:01 AM
Thanks so much. I'm thrilled.
Amy Alkon at April 25, 2008 10:18 AM
Errrrrr... I can only stand so much of Dr. Laura's audience (cue whiny voice): "Dr. Laura, thank you for taking my call. Here's my dilemma. I'm my kid's Mom and I don't know if my boyfriend should be taking my 14-year-old daughter on sleepovers..."
Sometimes they're just so damn stupid. I don't blame her for snapping now and then. And then some folks try to deny her points with the "two wrongs" fallacy because there's a risqué picture of her out there.
Radwaste at April 25, 2008 11:28 AM
Ask her how Deryk is.
(Just kidding, you probably shouldn't!)
eric at April 25, 2008 12:20 PM
Kudos, Amy. Though it seems odd that Dr. Laura finds a godless harlot appealing... I don't listen to her, but I thought she was all about religion and moralizing. Is there more than that?
justin case at April 25, 2008 12:21 PM
"happiness at noon on Saturday afternoon" eh?
That's an AWfully limited subject. Can I get the happiness from Monday 5pm to midnight gig?
;-)
I kid because I love.
BlogDog at April 25, 2008 12:42 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/04/25/advice_goddess_2.html#comment-1542508">comment from justin caseThose of you who knock Dr. Laura probably haven't listened to her.
I don't agree with her on some points, but how can you argue with advice to take responsibility for your kids and not to be a bitch to your husband? Just to name a couple of examples. I think she's great, and listen to her show whenever I'm driving home at noon.
I was talking to a friend about this last night, and it's something I see the right generally doing better on than the left, in my personal experience. (And for anyone who's wondering, I'm really neither: I describe myself as a fiscal conservative, largely libertarian [but not for open borders], and a "personal responsibilitarian.)
Anyway, I find the people on the right are more willing to not throw you out entirely if they disagree with some of your ideas. My late friend Cathy Seipp was an example of this. We once had a half-hour argument about gay marriage at a party at my house (she was against it; I am, of course, for it). Matt Welch walked past and said: "She's wrong, she'll never admit it, don't waste your time."
Yet, Cathy was a huge supporter of me and my writing, and stuff I thought and wrote about that she did agree with -- especially my work to cut down on the number of boors in the world.
And you see the same about Dr. Laura -- in Tammy Bruce's book, for example. Tammy Bruce was the lesbian head of NOW, and Dr. Laura stood up for her despite disagreeing with her on MANY issues. And Tammy Bruce behaved in kind with me. We sure disagree on a bunch of issues, but she had me on her radio show numerous times, and always treated me with respect.
PS And the problem with the gays/Dr. Laura issue? I don't know if she still believes what she professed to believe about gays in the 90's. But, my problem was that GLAAD and other organizations LIED about what she said, and used it as propaganda (probably to raise funds) instead of asking her to discuss/debate the issues. You can't hope to move somebody's thinking by demonizing them, but by asking them to sit down and talk with you, and maybe be persuaded through civilized discussion. Or, at the very least, you can get your opposing point of view out there through civilized discussion of the issue.
In short, as an adult, I can feel that somebody's 90 percent right on about things, as I do with Dr. Laura, and disagree with them rather vigorously on the other 10 percent, and not feel a need to dismiss all the good with what I perceive as the not-so-good or wrong.
Likewise, Dr. Laura has been over to my blog and has read my columns, and I'm sure she's seen some stuff she thinks is just plain wrong. This didn't stop her from inviting me to have a bigger role in her session than was previously planned by the LA Times. My kind of person. The more I read her, hear her, and e-mail back and forth with her, the more I think that.
Amy Alkon
at April 25, 2008 12:49 PM
In short, the answer to my question is yes. That's cool; I had assumed otherwise.
I also agree with you on the left's tendency to throw out people for little heresies. I think it results from a bunker mentality, really, because orthodox leftism is faring so poorly these days in America.
And yes, it's hard to argue against taking responsibility for one's children or treating one's spouse with kindness. It's somewhat remarkable that people need to be told these things, but they obviously do.
justin case at April 25, 2008 1:22 PM
> I think it results from a
> bunker mentality
And from living in the kind of safety where the boundaries are never tested. If you've never actually experienced The Dark Side of the Force up close 'n personal, you'll find it convenient to imagine that it's much, much different than what's going on in *your* heart... But then when you encounter any difference at all, you'll be fearful that this might be The Big Distinction between you and Mr. Nasty.
> It's somewhat remarkable that
> people need to be told these
> things, but they obviously do.
Word. It's not that I like Dr. Laura all that much, but her callers are so lost. Listening to her radio show reminds me of 4th grade in the smaller city where I grew up, maybe October or sometime, sitting in a classroom where it became apparent that a lot of the surrounding classmates were just assholes, and they were going to pollute the vibe of our shared space will all their personal shit for several more years, and there was nothing to do but wait it out.
Crid at April 25, 2008 3:47 PM
And from living in the kind of safety where the boundaries are never tested.
Living in SF, I consider it a personal mission to poke and provoke the serious lefties about their unconsidered beliefs. It's helpful with the smart ones, and annoys the dumb ones. Win-win!
justin case at April 25, 2008 5:50 PM
"it seems odd that Dr. Laura finds a godless harlot appealing..."
Actually, if you've read a lot of Amy and listened to a lot of Dr. Laura, its pretty easy to imagine this conversation:
Laura: "Do you have a question for me?"
Amy: "Not really. I have a boyfriend that I love and treat well and we do not live together."
Laura: "You mean you don't "shack up." That's good. So are you dating to possibly get married or for companionship?"
Amy: "Companionship. Neither of us wants to have children."
Laura: "And you're how old?"
Amy: "43" (is this right?)
Laura: "Congratulations. You're an adult who knows what she wants out of life and accepts responsibility for the outcomes related to pursuing those goals. I don't cure normal. Proceed."
snakeman99 at April 25, 2008 10:33 PM
I LOVE Dr. Laura...and you too Amy. I wasn't planning to go, but, with the two of you together I wouldn't miss it.
I'll be there with my hunky boyfriend.
Tru at April 26, 2008 8:59 AM
Worst thing about Dr. Laura is that she calls herself Doctor when she's actually a physiologist or something. It's a little bit of puffery that's completely unnecessary. (Same with Dean Edell, he's an opthamologist or soemthing.) Better to go the Amy way, just say "I have brass balls and can show you the way, people." (Paraphrase. No offense intended) That's what Laura's callers need to hear.
Besides, just looked her up on Wikipedia and she turned her back on her religion a few years ago when no one was looking. Apparently her faith have a sort of Mother Teresa-style hollowness.
Crid at April 26, 2008 10:20 AM
"Worst thing about Dr. Laura is that she calls herself Doctor when she's actually a physiologist or something."
"Or something?" So, you don't know, but you call her on this? What happened? Did you get spanked on her show for something? Please. It is so easy to find these things.
I find it a shame that so many people need to be told what to do on a national radio show, find the callers to be unbearable after a few minutes, and find that Dr. Laura occasionally jumps the gun in going right to instructing the caller what to do, but I'm not suggesting that she's unqualified to do that.
Hey, go figure. Some people hate Kelly Ripa. It's apparently included in the cost of fame.
Radwaste at April 28, 2008 2:31 AM
Whatever you all think of Laura Schlessinger, the woman has - if she were so equipped - balls the size of Rush Limbaugh's massive head.
The hall she spoke at with Amy at UCLA was right along side loon row (9/11 truthers, Michael-Moore-mouth-frothers, etc.).
Michele at April 28, 2008 11:58 AM
Actually I've been calling that sidewalk next to the hall where Amy and Laura spoke "nutcase alley" -- ever since I got accosted by a Lyndon Larouche cultist some years ago who wouldn't take no for an answer when I declined her literature handout.
But anyway, I've seem Amy's "advice goddess" column in the Ventura County Reporter, and am often quite amused by the with, as well as usually pretty much agreeing with the advice. So when I saw her listed as moderator for two events at the festival, I went more to see the personality behind the advice column than for the subject matter. And I've never been much of a fan of Dr. Laura -- I've always found her "impatience" with callers makes me rather uncomfortable and I end up switching the station within a few minutes.
I was not disappointed. I found the "personality behind the column" quite engaging. And not nearly as acerbic or sarcastic as I expected based on the column. I really found interesting and entertaining the "happiness" panel, and really enjoyed the interaction between Amy and Dr. Laura. And I came away with a different attitude about Dr. Laura, understanding better the method behind the "impatience". These two events were the highlights of the festival for me, largely by virtue of Amy's personality. Yes I guess I'm a little smitten!
By the way, I'm the guy who asked the nerdy question at the happiness panel about the validity of measuring someone's happiness by asking them to rate their happiness on a scale of 1 to 10.
MBM at April 29, 2008 4:53 PM
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