Maybe It's The TSA That's Killing The Airlines
A 2002 Fox News column by InstaPundit Glenn Harlan Reynolds that still holds up today -- railing at the absurd ridiculousness of the TSA:
Call it the revenge of the tweezer people. The backlash against senseless -- and useless -- airport security rules is building up into something nasty.How nasty? Enough that some people are leading airport revolts against dumb security delays, while a popular Web site catering to frequent flyers is distributing "Impeach Norman Mineta" bumperstickers.
The anger that travelers feel toward airline security measures -- like the confiscation of G.I. Joe nailclippers and tweezers, or "random" searches that seem to target mostly white-haired old women or whoever's the first person in line -- is real. It could blossom into a political force.
...But Mineta's biggest risk probably doesn't come from the millions of irritated travelers who would like to take home his scalp. It comes from the millions of irritated travelers who have decided that they're mad as hell and they're not going to take it any more.
They're not going to take the plane, that is, because all the hassles involved in searching passengers for tweezers have not only made flying unpleasant -- they've increased delays.
That's changed people's calculations. Trips that were feasible when you could arrive at the airport a half-hour before your flight just aren't feasible if you have to be there two hours early. I know that I've passed up some trips that I would have taken in the old days, because I could have flown to another city, given a speech or had a meeting, and returned home the same night to sleep in my own bed. That's almost never possible any more.
Reynolds reposted the link to his piece in response to a CBS/Chicago story by Pam Zekman about a 71-year-old disabled man named Robert Perry who was stripped on his bottom half to his undershorts and left on display for other passengers by the TSA:
"He yelled at me to get the belt off. 'I told you to get the belt off.' So I took the belt off. He ran his hands down over and pulled the pants down, they went down around my ankle," Perry said.At that point, Perry was standing in his underwear in public view. He asked to see a supervisor. That made things worse.
"She was yelling 'I have power, I have power, I have power," Perry said. The power to stop him from flying to Florida with his wife that day to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
"It makes you feel like you have no rights," Perry said.
There's always the right to send the airlines into bankruptcy by staying home!
You ever get the idea that the government is the economy's worst enemy?
I think we need some fighting back. Start with those little things.
Next time I travel I am going to sprinkle a
couple of fingernail clippers in my carry on. Then next it will be cigar cutters! Then needles!
Start talking about your fictional gun collection, your belief in GOD and how he will soon accept your soul in Heaven (soon, very soon), right wing politics, your drug habbit, how you once shot a man to see him die (get grusome, crying,
Start wearing inappropriate clothing like a 'T-shirt with a a line of Islamic script on it', sexy, skimpy clothing like a mini skirt , 't-shirts with weapons on it"or a shirt from an Japanese Anime show (Go Sailor Moon),
(Note all the following clothing has had people stopped or denied a flight)
Demand a strip search. Learn to enjoy it!. "Sorry officer not you, I want one from that big HUNK over their". Heck start early in line! Get down to your drawers! When asked what the hell you are doing comment on your commitment to airline security"
Play the hypochondriac/ OCD sufferer. Carry a large bottle of hand sanitizer! When asked to give it up look fearful and then sigh and give it to them. Then get your little bottle and hold on tightly. Then after another sigh give the little bottle. Make sure to wear a face mask. Only remove it quickly while holding your breath! Wrap everything in your carry on in SaranWrap (make sure extra layers), heck include tin-foil (you are worried about X-Ray radiation), Cough a lot. Complain of a headache and fever. Mutter under your breath about SARS, bird flu, and Ebola.
John's Rule of Life #27
Do not forget the little acts of Kindness and the many acts of Assholeness!
John Paulson at July 24, 2008 2:46 AM
The TSA is a joke.
How do you know the kid with the egg of silly putty isnt playing with food coloring laced c4 and the terrorist parent hasnt hid blasting caps inside the hollow tube if a keychain flash light?
The odds of you dying in a terrorist attack is smaller than being kidnapped in a hijacking.
The odds of you being held against your will and then released as part of a hijacking is smaller than being killed by lighting.
What I want to know is why there is no billion dollar "department of prevention of fatal lightning strikes"
lujlp at July 24, 2008 3:04 AM
ugh. The worst experience I had was when I was with my mom. She's about five foot three, on a good day. Brunette. Kind face. She's been a nurse for over 25 years. She was probably wearing jeans, a cardigan and lots of nice jewelry. Very terrorist-like if you ask me.
We're at Heathrow getting ready to check our bags when the lady at the counter looks at us nervously. We're then ushered off behind a barricade into a small room. There is another group in there - parents and two kids. They then proceed to rip open all our suitcases and rifle through our things. Then they shove it all back in, zip it up, take them away and tell us they'll check them for us. How nice of them!
THEN...we're in line no more than 10 minute later, bags gone, waiting to pass through the security gate. It's my mom's turn to go through the metal detector. They check the ticket and say something to the effect of "You have two choices. 1) get a full search (whatever that means) 2) go through this x-ray device." She goes through the device b/c she was too scared to go with them into a room alone.
This was a few years back before we all knew what the machines were. It was one of those contraptions that puffs air up into your clothes and give the technician a FULL view of allll your parts. I think the puff of air might be to detect gun power or other substances.
Needless to say that was the worst experience in an airport I've had and I felt really bad for my mom. It seems to not be just an American problem.
Gretchen at July 24, 2008 4:13 AM
Amy,
How do the adverts work on this page? There's one for something called "Clear Card" which allows you to "fly through airport security." Is that a joke? Or do you have this ad on here b/c it's a good thing? Or is it just an ironic coincidence? B/c the latter would be awesome.
Gretchen at July 24, 2008 4:31 AM
That is pretty hilarious. It's on a feed from Pajamas Media, and I don't pick the ads, but maybe, like Google ads, they correspond sometimes to text on your page, or maybe it's coincidence.
The funniest was when Luke Thompson pointed out that there was an ad for Ann Coulter's book next to an entry like "Ann Coulter's A Big Fat Ho Bag," or something like that.
Amy Alkon at July 24, 2008 4:37 AM
As if the brute incompetence of the airlines themselves isn't enough (I once had a flight to Albuquerque take 17 hours, and security was a breeze) we need to add this?
Any time a government employee starts shouting "I have power", someone should be ready to shoot them in the face to make an example of them. You do not have power, you serve me, bitch.
A more cynical man might suspect that the government is trying to kill the airlines.
brian at July 24, 2008 5:56 AM
Amy and Gretchen- Now that's it been brought up, last week there was a Chase Bank ad for security against identity theft ad next to the discussions about BofA.
As to the TSA, sometimes it has nothing to do with security. Sometimes, they just want a really nice pair of slightly used running shoes and brand new snorkeling equipment. Otherwise I can't figure out what the hell these items had to do with air travel security after they stole them from my sister and threatened to arrest her if she kept yelling "WTF!?!?!" Is it still called mugging if it's done by someone in a position of authority?
juliana at July 24, 2008 6:19 AM
I travel very light, because I figure whatever I need in the way of cosmetics and such I can always buy once I get to my destination. But how friggin' sad that it's come to this. And you just have to know that Osama and his ilk are laughing their asses off at us. Believe me, even though our military has already taken out more terrorist cells here and elsewhere that you'll never even hear about (this from the horse's mouth of someone I know currently active in the military), if Al-Qida forces really want to cause some serious damage they will find a way, and there is absolutely nothing that the TSA can do to prevent it.
Flynne at July 24, 2008 6:29 AM
Why anyone is suprised that uneducated minimum-wage workers are drunk on their own power, yet not doing their job worth squat, is beyond me. What did they expect? I don't fly anymore. I'd rather take a 14-hour car trip with all 3 little ones than fly with them. And really, it's not any faster anymore. How long we can afford the car trips remains to be seen with gas what it is. I guess at some point the kiddos will just never see their grandparents again.
momof3 at July 24, 2008 7:33 AM
You could always move.
I'm just sayin'.
brian at July 24, 2008 8:01 AM
Momof3 is also familiar with the lovely TSA folks at ABIA, I see. Commuter flight aren't worth it any more. We used to hop on a plane in Austin to take a quick trip to Houston or Dallas; now it makes more since to just drive. A TSA screener once made my husband go back through the security line (to the end of the line each time) 3 times, because he had mouthwash or something. Of course, he missed his flight, which was most likely the TSA screener's goal. I think it was a power stuggle thing: My husband looks like "the man," you know... white dude with a Rolex. Last time I flew was in March, and they picked me for a random bag search. So I had to stand there and watch some kid go through my panties. Awesome.
andrew'shotwife at July 24, 2008 8:11 AM
To be fair, I just got back from Colorado (I live in NY) and had an experience with the TSA that wasn't horrible. The air-puff machine didn't bother me much. Enjoy the cheap thrill, dudes. My lavendar-scented shaving cream was apparently a threat to national security, but it was the only loss. I was unreasonably annoyed about the shaving cream, but I was expecting a lot worse.
MonicaP at July 24, 2008 8:21 AM
"You ever get the idea that the government is the economy's worst enemy?"
Oh say it ain't so, Amy! According to all the Democrats in your country and 3 out of 4 people here in Canuckistan, the government is "a necessary and beneficial force for good".
Yeah, right!
Robert W. at July 24, 2008 8:26 AM
You ever get the idea that the government is the economy's worst enemy?
All the time.
Conan the Grammarian at July 24, 2008 8:28 AM
Well, what did we expect? The TSA / Homeland Security / FEMA activities are exactly in keeping with our leadership's guidance and behavioral examples.
And lest any GOP faitfhul pop a blood vessel, let's all be clear that citizen abuse was cranked up to a new level with operations Echelon and Carnivore, both Clinton-era atrocities that continue to this day.
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at July 24, 2008 8:38 AM
You ever get the idea that the government is the economy's worst enemy?
Ronald Reagan once said that the 9 scariest words in the English language were; “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”
How very true.
Jim P. at July 24, 2008 10:09 AM
That column "holds up" after six years? Really?
Enough that some people are leading airport revolts against dumb security delays,
What people, where? I just flew last week, and it looked the same as the last time.
... while a popular Web site catering to frequent flyers is distributing "Impeach Norman Mineta" bumperstickers.
I have never seen one of these. Have you? Has anyone?
The anger that travelers feel toward airline security measures -- like the confiscation of G.I. Joe nailclippers and tweezers, or "random" searches that seem to target mostly white-haired old women or whoever's the first person in line -- is real. It could blossom into a political force.
It could? It hasn't. Not in six years.
What's killing the airlines is fuel costs. And fuel costs are high because of things libertarians are supposed to love -- free markets and futures speculation. So while it's always nice to see a writer get a few bumps out of his clip file, please don't mistake it for actual work.
Nance at July 24, 2008 10:43 AM
Hey Robert W., we got tonnes of problems of our own up here in (say it with me now...) Canada so we don't really need your problems on top of it all. Air travel here is a pain, but is about 100 times easier if you are flying within Canada or to an international destination that is not the U.S. It's only if you heading to the US or changing planes south of the border that you run into the complete foolishness and thuggery reported in these posts.
But lovely of you to think of us...
Scott at July 24, 2008 10:54 AM
And upon re-reading it seems you are actually from the great white north Robert. The post was still a bit off in my opinion but I'll get out front here and apologize for engaging the keyboard before engaging the brain.
Scott at July 24, 2008 10:57 AM
If we wanted to we could just institute an air marshall program that would actually keep us safe rather than the illusion of safety.
flighty at July 24, 2008 11:06 AM
TSA protects its reputation at all costs, does not release any analysis in support of its actions, does not report its mistakes, does no cost-benefit analysis, and regulates a complex process that requires expert knowledge to evaluate. So, the value of its actions is safely hidden from criticism. The one blunt criteria left for evaluation by the public is "Are they stupid?"
From time to time, a type of attack gets into the news. TSA managers are in danger if that attack later succeeds, no matter how unlikely it is. You can imagine the questions to the former heads of the agency, at the congressional hearing to follow. "So you knew that liquid bombs were theoretically possible, but you didn't check for them?" The only event that can get a TSA manager fired is to allow a repeat of a prior attack, real or headlined.
There are a hundred possible attacks. The best that the TSA can do is reduce the probability of success, for a given level of funding and passenger inconvenience. But, its first priority is political, to have an excuse if one of those attacks succeeds. For example, "We were working hard, as you can see, but the terrorists got one by us in a way that they had never tried before."
So, with the greatest irony, TSA resources go into visible and costly search and surveillance at the gate, aimed at prior or headlined attacks, regardless of any reasonable analysis about cost effectiveness. Meanwhile, airport employees are hired without much screening and have access to the airplanes and airport without security checks.
Andrew Garland at July 24, 2008 11:37 AM
My general rule these days is, if it takes 2 hours or less to fly there, its easier to drive there. Though I live about 80 minutes via interstate from a major international airport.
I'd rather drive for 4 hours than fly for one (which really is fly for 3-5 hours with all the security issues).
Sio at July 24, 2008 12:45 PM
I'm with flighty on the air marshalls.
Some nice big armed men to stand at the front of the plane & glare at unruly passengers & their children. Menacing bouncer types to strap the wayward children into their seats.
They'll shine a flashlight at you if you fiddle with your shoes too often & knock you back if you come at them with a nail clipper.
MeganNJ at July 24, 2008 1:09 PM
" So I had to stand there and watch some kid go through my panties. Awesome." Yeah but that's your fault for being hot, can't really blame that on the TSA.
smurfy at July 24, 2008 3:16 PM
"Ain't no cheese like gummint cheese!"
Give the government the chance to pick through your life, and they'll never give it up. Let them come up with a new tax, no matter how small or temporary, and your grandchildren will still be paying it.
Let them move a tax or fee to the general fund, instead of the project it was designed to pay for, and 3 years from now, there will be another tax or fee to pay for the project again.
Never willingly give the government the chance to say no. It attracts petty people, who's only delight in life is in saying no.
The TSA is the sole reason I avoid flying. On top of caring for two kids, the last thing I need is some TSA thug to cop an attitude and cause me a problem with my kids.
gretz at July 24, 2008 7:18 PM
People have always asked how Hitler could have gotten away with what he did.... the same way the TSA/US government is getting away with what it is.... we allow it.
I don't fly any more. I haven't had a vacation in 2 years and if I take one, it will be within driving distance. I refuse to be humiliated by the TSA.
thenecklacelady at July 24, 2008 8:58 PM
I've say it before, I'll say it again "I'm all in favor of 'equal opportunity' and 'hire the handicapped'".
Having said I have to wonder: did TSA go hunting for the stupidest people they could find to work security at the airports?
I kid you not I had one TSA thug demand I remove a small piece of Army helicopter from my shoulder. A bit of metal I've carried for 17 years that 4 doctors have decreed did not need to be removed.
So who the (censored) does this blithering moron of a TSA thug think he is that makes him smarter than 4 doctors?
He's the guy with TSA badge, that's who.
*chuckling*
Yeah, I caused a bit of a ruckus at the gate when I asked him, in a voice loud enough to be heard across the concourse "were you born stupid or did you grow that way?".
But that's just me... and I don't fly anymore.
GR
Gunner Retired at August 8, 2008 7:29 PM
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