Your Colon Isn't Dirty
Well, not in a bad way (more on that below). I'm always amazed by people who think a "colon cleanse" is a good idea, simply because some chick in head-to-toe hemp tells them so. Meet its cousin, the "detoxifying" diet. Dumb, dumb, dumb. A detox diet left Dawn Page, a 52-year-old British mother, brain-damaged and epileptic. James Smith writes for the London Indepenent:
Dawn Page, 52, who has two children, was told to drink an extra four pints of water daily and cut salt intake to prevent fluid retention and lose weight. But within days of going on the Amazing Hydration Diet she was vomiting uncontrollably and suffered an epileptic fitMrs Page secured a £810,000 payout last week from her nutritionist's insurer after a six-year legal battle. Barbara Nash, who refers to herself as a "nutritional therapist and life coach", denies any fault. The High Court in London ratified the settlement without mention of liability.
Mr Page said yesterday: "She was not obese but Dawn liked to look after her weight. But just days after she started the diet, she began to feel unwell and started vomiting, which the nutritionist said was all part of the detox process. Her life has been seriously affected, perhaps ruined, by this fad-type way of losing weight."
Mrs Page, who had tried a number of diets since the birth of her two sons, was 12 stone when she contacted Ms Nash in late September 2001. On 2 October, Ms Page collapsed in the family home with a grand mal seizure. She was rushed to Princess Margaret Hospital in Swindon, where doctors diagnosed a shortage of sodium levels in her plasma, which acts as a cushion for the brain. Because the plasma contained such low levels of sodium, water entered the brain, causing permanent damage. Mrs Page now relies on notes to remember basic instructions.
From the BBC on detox diets:
Detox diets are based on the theory that toxins from "unhealthy" food and drink build up in the body and can lead to health problems. Purging those toxins - through restricted diets, lots of water or using particular supplements - is meant to leave people feeling better and, often, thinner. But critics disagree with the principle. Dr Andrew Wadge, of the Food Standards Agency, has branded detox regimes "nonsense" and said the body has its own system of getting rid of toxins - the liver.
From Science Based Medicine on the colon cleanse:
Indeed, if you hang around on enough the "right" discussion forums, you will get the distinct sense that they find the very thought that they have feces accumulating in them all the time, loaded with bacteria, to be hateful and impossible to bear. This attitude is, of course, odd, to say the least, given that the very function the colon evolved over millions of years to do is to remove our digestive wastes safely and efficiently, extracting water, electrolytes, and what little other nutrients are left over, before depositing the waste into whatever receptical its owner sees fit to use. For the vast majority of people, whether it does it three times a day or once every three days does not matter much. Worse, in the cases of people who do have a real parasitic infection, all the purging in the world won't get rid of the critters causing the disease, no matter how many times a day one drives oneself to go. Only appropriate drugs to kill the parasites can correct the problem....One thing's for sure. Colon cleansing is a dubious and almost always useless procedure that shows no signs of going away. There is a thriving market offering an amazing number of products that claim to be able to rid you of all that nasty fecal buildup that doesn't exist. It may be the most obvious retort in the world for such woo, but the very nature of these sorts of products makes it difficult to avoid-nay, it demands that I not avoid-saying that colon cleansing is a load of...well, you know.
I hate all this self-hate.
Norman at August 8, 2008 4:30 AM
In a similar vein, I was horrified to see those Kinoki "footpads" at my local Bed, Bath and (More) store. How evident does the bullshit have to be before people stop stepping in it?
BlogDog at August 8, 2008 6:45 AM
Wait 4 pint caused that much damage? That's not that much water and the kidneys should have taken care of it. Unless she cut salt completely out of her diet then worked out a bit. If this is in fact what the "nutritional therapist and life coach" told her to do then yeah not shit she had this reaction and the nut should be in jail for it.
vlad at August 8, 2008 6:56 AM
The only problem I have here is that unless you have renal insufficiencies it takes a lot more than 4 pints per day to do that. Water intoxication will usually require a gallon or more in one sitting (not through out the day) with no exercise or perspiration to induce water intoxication. I normally drink 2-3 liters per day with no ill effects but that's cause I like water, not for any other reason. I sweat at the drop of a hat (no matter what shape I'm in) so not sure if that's why.
vlad at August 8, 2008 7:10 AM
I have heard the "Hydration" story before and it is frightening to know that witch doctors can peddle these ideas unchecked. It is time
I have a hard time to understand why the people who buy those quack cures while there's proven medical treatment nearby.
Toubrouk at August 8, 2008 7:32 AM
If you drink a lot of water, you better check what's in it. Mineral water usually has some sodium and other ions. Don't know if it's enough to keep you from diluting yourself to death, though. Perhaps this woman was drinking specially purified water?
Norman at August 8, 2008 7:36 AM
Vlad, as I understand it, the nutritionist advised her to drink 4 *additional* pints of water to her current fluid intake already was. Plus, when she exhibited the classic signs of hyponatremia-- vomiting clear fluid-- the nutritionist told her to keep drinking the water, as her symptoms showed the diet was working. Unconscionable.
Melissa G at August 8, 2008 8:23 AM
Bleh. Me grammar no good yet. More coffee. I think I'll drink it the usual way instead of taking it as an enema.
Melissa G at August 8, 2008 8:24 AM
Oh gawd. This brings back some aggravating memories. I went to a clinic earlier this year with low back pain. They had a couple of massage therapists, two chiropractors, and a physical therapist on staff. I guess my expectations were way out of line, but I actually thought these people would diagnose me and figure out what course of treatment was best.
They sent me straight to the chiropractor, who gave me a long lecture about how I needed to drink more water (because your muscles are 70% water) and avoid the "toxins" in diet soda or flavored water beverages. It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes. That whole eight glasses of water per day myth has been debunked for ages - if I really needed to drink eight glasses of water a day I would be dead by now. Duh!
Besides, my problem wasn't muscular anyway, it was a degenerative disc, which the chiropractic treatment made 100 times worse. I was bedridden and literally unable to move for almost 40 hours - my poor sweety even had to lift me out of bed, carry me to the bathroom, and had to hold me up by the underarms so I could go pee.
We got my ass to a walk-in clinic the next day, and a round of prednisone, followed by an MRI (yay, finally a diagnosis) and six weeks of physical therapy ended up doing the trick.
These "alternative medicine" types are a bunch of wackos. I will never go back to a chiropractor again. Drink more water, whatever. That cow is lucky I didn't sue her for malpractice.
Pirate Jo at August 8, 2008 8:30 AM
"Plus, when she exhibited the classic signs of hyponatremia-- vomiting clear fluid-- the nutritionist told her to keep drinking the water, as her symptoms showed the diet was working. Unconscionable." Agreed on that point whole heartedly.
"my problem wasn't muscular anyway, it was a degenerative disc, which the chiropractic treatment made 100 times worse." Oh woo sorry you had to go through that. This is the only reason I think we should start to integrate medicine (or ban alternatives all together) so stupid shit like this does not happen. Also chiros (and all altis) should be required to live up to the same standards are real doctors. I'm not sure that they even need to carry malpractice insurance, which they should.
vlad at August 8, 2008 9:08 AM
See, my chiropractor has never engaged in that quackery. Or any of the other crap from the P&T Bullshit episode about chiropractors. I don't doubt that quacks are out there, but when you find one (as PJ did) you need to run (as PJ did).
Although she yells at me for not doing the stretching and toning exercises she tells me to do to fix my shoulders.
brian at August 8, 2008 9:13 AM
Anyway if you really want that colon cleaned out go see the real pros: have a colonoscopy. Not only will your tract be washed nice and clean, it will be visually inspected. A totally fun way to spend your day and health insurance will cover most of the expense.
Jim at August 8, 2008 9:24 AM
The larger issue is the viral stupidity for which we are woefully underinoculated.
Are certain societies more susceptible to woo than others? Is the US the world leader in quackloonery?
DaveG at August 8, 2008 9:27 AM
Per Jim's comment - I saw a video of my wife's abdomen (the inside, that is) following a procedure. Not that interesting.
DaveG at August 8, 2008 9:30 AM
It's unfortunate that some chiropractors seem to go for ALL the alti stuff. To be licenced they are required to do 3 years of an undergraduate degree and a 4 year D.C. degree. That last 4 years spends a lot of time on understanding anatomy in detail. They can do some good things for the right kind of problem. However, the idea that they can fix ANY problem can make them dangerous if you're unaware. Just like a masseuse can help certain types of problems (like, you know, sore muscles) some of these "therapies" have their place. You just have to be skeptical. The chiro I see from time to time (worked wonders to help me "decompress" after falling off the roof of my house -- the ladder slipped...its wasn't a dumbass drinking game!) XRAYs all new patients and XRAYs after any major fall. He's pretty professional and doesn't push a lot of other stuff.
moreta at August 8, 2008 9:38 AM
"Just like a tree... you're body works the same way! (Individual results may vary. These results are not typical.) Kinoki also contains ions, to cleanse refresh and enhance your overall well being!"
OMG!! IONS ROK!!!
https://www.buykinoki.com/
Hasan at August 8, 2008 10:14 AM
The colon racket is surprisingly durable, actually, and you can't help but admire its structure:
1) Tell people that stuff is going on in their butt, stuff that's really scary and gross and smells bad;
2) Sell them a product that produces the result you've been warning them about, ie. the colon-cleanse powder.
3) Cash check, repeat.
I had a medical magazine -- very mainstream, not quack-y, but poorly edited -- ask me for story ideas last year. I gave them a few, and told them the story on colonics in the current issue was, hee hee, full of shit, in that it repeated the old "if you're a meat-eater, you have three to five pounds of mucus-covered, decaying meat in your colon RIGHT NOW" b.s. Never heard back from them.
The funniest Metafilter thread I ever read was on the subject, here.
Nance at August 8, 2008 10:50 AM
This reminds me of those girls who freak out when they eat and their stomach looks bloated. That's supposed to happen when you eat. The food doesn't just go poof into some magical dimension.
MonicaP at August 8, 2008 12:53 PM
In regards to the colon business, I will refer you all to a movie called "The Road to Wellville", circa 1994. It has a lot of enema stuff in it. No, it is not sick or anything; it's a kind of historical movie set in the time of Mr. Kellogg, the breakfast cereal guy, played by Anthony Hopkins, and also has Matthew Broderick in it. I'd give it 3 stars. My partner critic is not here to give it a thumbs up or down, as he is geting an enema right now to cleanse all of the beef jerky out of his poop chute.
Anyhoo, in regards to the few posts about wacky alternative-med. stuff, I will refer the reader to one certain episode of Seinfeld. It is damn funny, but I don't know if the episodes have names, and I wouldn't know that anyway. Kramer recommends George to go to this guy (only $39 versus whatever at the hospital). The quack puts a pyramid over George's head, then gives him some nasty drink, which sends George to the hospital. (I can't remember if this is the one where the 2 ambulance drivers get in an argument about driving on the way to the hospital and wreck!)
Funny, funny stuff.
Dave Lincoln at August 8, 2008 1:21 PM
Someone I know was seeing a Naturopath - one with a very ritzy practice, not a back alley witch doctor - for cancer treatment. After a while she started to get really bad headaches and was basically living on Motrin. The "doctor" told her this was all just part of the healing process, and it was very good news!
Eventually it got so bad that I had to drive her to the emergency room where they found the cause - the cancer had metastasized to her skull.
These quacks are dangerous and irresponsible people.
p.s. She went on chemo and is now disease free.
Todd Fletcher at August 8, 2008 1:47 PM
Never underestimate the tremendous influence of social pressure to conform to an ideal (realistic or otherwise, with or without any basis in fact), despite the health risks.
And never underestimate the sharks who will sieze upon this pressure to accumulate personal wealth... at yours, mine and ours expesne.
Gunner Retired
Gunner Retired at August 8, 2008 5:53 PM
I know a woman who, immediately after a full mastectomy refused to eat or drink anything except water down apple juice and essentials oil for an ENTIRE MONTH. She told me it was a body cleanse and that she had only gotten cancer because of blah blah blah real food is bad or something. I urged her to call her doctor before continuing the diet, sure that he would tell her that is was amazingly stupid at any time and especially right after a big operation. He told her it was fine, just to “be careful”. We were in a church when she told me this, and I'm sure I convinced a couple people I was going to hell in a hand basket with my colorful, curse laden metaphors.
Stacy at August 8, 2008 5:56 PM
There's a chiropractor across from my office - the sign outside advertises colon cleansing and ionic foot baths ("detox thru your feet"). WTF???
My chiropractor just rolls his eyes. He says the only help your colon needs is some daily roughage and enough water to push it through.
catspajamas at August 8, 2008 6:50 PM
I miss the good old days, when worrying about that stuff was confined to those over 70.
VIC CARS at August 8, 2008 8:43 PM
And in today's raised-consciousness headlines, we are happy to discover that new dad "...Matthew McConaughey kept Levi's placenta and intends to plant it in an orchard, inspired by an Australian Aboriginal custom in which the placenta of every member of a clan gets buried under a giant tree. The tree became a "huge behemoth of just health and strength," he said."
Finally, the ancient secret of growing your own Ent is available to all.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/08/08/mcconaughey.father/index.html
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at August 8, 2008 10:16 PM
Haha, that's a great story!
At least it's not hurting anyone though, unless they're viewing the tree as their healthcare provider.
Stacy at August 8, 2008 11:19 PM
What is the difference between a healing crisis and illness? You recognize when you are having a healing crisis as a result of: The crisis typically lasts only one to 3 days. At the tip of the healing crisis you are feeling a lot of higher than before the healing crisis occurred. You're eating all the proper things and up till the healing crisis have had a smart attitude. You know you're making changes in your lifestyle and are working on physical, emotional, mental and religious aspects of your life. You're mentally prepared to get through the healing. You will have just pampered yourself with some quite bodywork--this generally stimulates a healing crisis. This is often a smart thing. If you're truly sick, the symptoms on top of feel awful as time progresses. The symptoms are additional than transient and more than mild.
Pennie Szoke at July 21, 2011 4:28 PM
Leave a comment