So Pathetic, So Pathetically Unbusy
I just got this in my e-mail from one of the SoPathetic! (aka Sadly,No!) commenters I'd blocked, a weenie in the U.K. who calls himself "Cain":
I woke up, feeling like something had crawled into my mouth and died sometime during the night. It was no relief to find out it was tongue. Did I say night? Early morning looked more plausible, the light seemed to be coming from all directions, giving me a splitting headache.Worse, this wasn't even my flat. My heart sunk as I realized I had spent another booze-induced sleep session at the office. Clearing the sleep from my eyes, I managed to sit up straight, feeling the stiffness in my back. I put the lid on the cheap scotch from last night - Glenmorangie - and finished the half empty glass.
It burned as it went down, but I was feeling more alert, more alive. I rocked back on my chair, and looked out the window. Another soulless day, the too bright sun shining off the reflective, all too familiar buildings.
Oh how I hated it here.
I put my feet up on the desk, pulled my fedora over my eyes, and made myself at home with the silence. It was relaxing, and peaceful. In my office with no work to do, no pressing engagements and half a bottle of low quality single malt to get me through the afternoon.
And then she walked in. Rolling off the streets like some primeval force, a whirlwind of passion and destruction.
"I'm sorry", I said, "I think you have the wrong room. The drag queen's make up class is three doors down." It was, too. This was a cheap neighbourhood, and you took office space where you could afford it.
"I'm NOT a drag queen! And anyone who says otherwise, or edits my Wikipedia to say so is nothing more than a filthy and childish liar!"
An American. And either in hysterics or denial, possibly both. This wasn't going to end well, I could tell.
"I'm sorry....ma'am" I answered, cautiously. This met with no outburst, so I continued on, "what can I do for you this, uh, fine day?"
"Are you Cain?" she asked.
I looked around discreetly for any recording devices or other listeners. I saw none.
"Yes", I replied, in a bored, drawn out yawn. "What's it to you?"
"I hear you're a dick. I need someone to be a dick for me."
I thought about this momentarily. Her jaw looked like it could crack open a man's skull, and there was something disconcerting about that Adam's Apple...
"I assume you mean a Private Detective, of course. Then you have come to the right place. What exactly can I do for you? In a professional capacity, of course."
She withdrew a sheet from her handbag, and placed it on my desk. Swinging my legs down, I grabbed the paper and had a look. It was a printout, of a Wikipedia edit history page. Some numbers were circled, and highlighted with a marker pen.
"My name is Amy Alkon, Cain", she said, "and I need you to find a man for me. I need you track down and bring me Gary Ruppert."
What was that? Would I settle for the head of Alfredo Garcia?
My response to the guy:
"I'm amazed that anyone finds me interesting enough to waste so much time on."
I do have to say, I find it amazing that the very people who are after me for being racist see no problem with intimating that I'm transgendered, meaning it to be some derogatory thing.
I don't see it as derogatory, merely incorrect, and rather typical of the low-blow tactics the "progressives" seem to have in the absence of the ability to rationally criticize people they disagree with.
Meanwhile, here's a column I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot (at least by the "progressives"), wrote in an attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public.
It's obvious who the real bigots are. They are wearing their bigotry on their sleeve (along with that rolled up pack of cigarettes in a vain attempt to avoid looking too feminine).
A tip of my hat to a decades-long gay friend of mine who did have a tendancy to go about with a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his t-shirt sleeve and who was anything but effeminate. And who's "marriage" (common-law though it was since anything else wasn't allowed) lasted three times as long as mine.
T's Grammy at August 18, 2008 10:51 AM
Obviously this guy fancies himself as a *gasp!* writer. A pathetic one, yes, but a writer none the less. Good luck to him. He desparately needs it. o_O
Flynne at August 18, 2008 11:03 AM
Trying for a parody of hard-boiled, the writer just boils hard, making lots of gas.
I also suck as a writer, so I've pilfered a hard-boiled reply:
The thing is, I only know Amy from her blog, her columns and a few emails --- but I like her. More importantly, I respect her and her ideas. This stuff she's having to deal with ain't right.
Jeff at August 18, 2008 11:14 AM
They are being "ironic" and they know they really aren't sexist/bigoted/transphobic/homophobic and they know you are so it means that when they make statements that might appear sexist/bigoted/transphobic/homophobic to everyone else, that because they are being "ironic" and because they know the truth and you do not, that it is okay for them to make these sorts of ugly statements. But others cannot of course, because they are not being ironic, and they do not know the truth.
In the meantime, they spend quite a bit of their time pointing out statements they see on other blogs and never taking context into effect and making sure everyone knows how bigoted/sexist/racist/*phobic those other people are being.
And it's not just Sadly, No!, it is unfortunately, much of the internet, but also, I do admit, I surf mostly lefty sites, and it takes up much of the space there.
The I'm Right, You're Wrong, I know the Truth, it is all okay for me!
If you want to see when the tables were turned onto Sadly, No! Check out the "FAT fight" they had with the feministe sites. It was one of those periodic times when everyone in the liberal blogosphere was forced to take sides and purge. Sadly, No! made a fat joke, The idiots at Feministe couldn't handle it, and in the end, identity politics jackasses swore, swore they would never blog again because no one was pure enough for them. Sadly, for us all, they couldn't keep that promise.
Did they learn any lessons though? Sadly, No!, because at heart, it's the only schtick they have.
In the meantime, day after day, the feminists and the sadly nos, and half the liberal blogosphere do the same thing: call out other people for being jerks, without hearing them out or listening to their arguments, and call out other people for being mean to them regarding their own particular problem.
Donald Sutherland, sums it up best here.
Mindless pod people sure they have the truth. And just how different is Sadly, No! from the people they detest at Little Green Footballs, or Free Republic, or hijacking airplanes?
jerry at August 18, 2008 11:16 AM
That's some insightful comparison there, Jerry. I had NO IDEA that hijacking airplanes was such a terrible thing to do until you compared to pointing out a writer's racism and having a good laugh at her expense.
EnfantTerrible at August 18, 2008 12:15 PM
I had a look at SadlyNo. A surprising amount of it is literally made up, followed by discussion and criticism of the made up stuff as if it were true.
Norman at August 18, 2008 2:18 PM
Amy,
Can we get over playing the victim role and start dispensing some of that priceless advice you are known for?
My funnybone needs a fix!
bayville at August 18, 2008 2:52 PM
So, Amy Alkon isn't a drag queen?
david mudkips at August 18, 2008 4:15 PM
Amy, PLEASE HEAR THIS... Please
It_is_a_scam.
You've received about 30 comments like this since I started reading again just two days ago:
> Keep on doing, and saying, what is
> right, Amy, and know that many
> others agree.
>
> Posted by: SingleDad at August 18,
> 2008 7:05 PM
Doesn't that seem at *all* unusual to you? That all of the sudden, huge squadrons of formerly silent people should be either (A) denigrating you or (b) expressing Walt Dinsey-style blessings, all with the same emotional and intellectual pitch?.
I can't believe I'm the only one who sees this. I'm just not that interpersonally sensitive a guy.
Mark these words: There's ONE VANDAL. He's MALE. He's TROUBLED. And he's responsible for almost EVERY message over the past week NOT posted by a regular guest of your blog. It's not about politics. He's OBSESSED, like Travis Bickle, only without the muscles.
I'd bet ten thousand dollars on this.
I'm amazed that a woman so fond of psychological insight won't believe this.
Crid at August 18, 2008 7:48 PM
> A surprising amount of it is literally
> made up, followed by discussion and
> criticism of the made up stuff as
> if it were true.
Norman gets it!
Crid at August 18, 2008 8:00 PM
crid, Amy is not the only one to experience these kinds of attacks from leftists. And when Instapundit blogs about the problem, you can expect lots of sympathetic people to show up.
Which is not to say you're wrong. There may be a lone gunman. But I bet ten thousand dollars there's a helluva' lot of unindicted co-conspirators.
As for the made up stuff, that's another common tactic. It's a smear method that's been used against other bloggers.
As for it not being political, well maybe. But it's aimed at punishing political enemies. We've seen this same thing break out between leftist sites over ideological disputes.
Jeff at August 19, 2008 12:08 AM
Well, Jeff, if that is your real name...
(At this point I trust the following individuals to present proper ID at the door: Eric, Flynne, Purple, Marion, Patrick, Tressider, Corbino [a great name for an uninsured guy!] Hrisskopolous [which is probably misspelled], PJ, that one gal, and that other guy. And that's it.)
But even if you're the vandal, you present an important consideration: Liberal thought is often accused of being too closely aligned with childish and otherwise undeveloped thinking. How do we know this guy (the vandal) is just a child, and not an agent of bad ideology?
I tell ya how.
He flatters us. If he thinks someone is losing interest in his conversation, he presents seven new names of people to say "You go girl!", while the original voice keeps picking the fight. We all like to think of our enemies (liberals, progressives, Republicans, Karl Rove, whomever) as being cowardly, and he used that against us. (Note also that he does it with the rhythm of a dripping faucet... One at a time, never with clustering, or wind-chime randomness.)
Aside from calling us snotty names, he never delivers any deadly rhetorical blows... No logic, no insights, no principles that are difficult for their holder to apply. His morality is nothing but a sixth-graders' self-righteousness. No stories, no consequences, no sad or happy tales.... Nuthin'. No sex, no food, no taxes, no school, no employees, no church, no neighbords, no dentistry... Nothing has ever happened to this guy that he wants people to know about.
All he wants to continue the manipulation.
But to call the vandal a "leftist" is grandiose. He's a terribly needy kid.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at August 19, 2008 12:36 AM
Well if I'm not "that other guy" I'm going to be very hurt
lujlp at August 19, 2008 8:48 AM
I have some information for you! I spent a hour traking these people. At least one of them belongs to a cult called Diskordianism or something. It is some kind of a communist sect.
God warrior at August 19, 2008 9:33 AM
GW are yout the 'god warrior' from trading spouses?
lujlp at August 19, 2008 9:41 AM
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