Tank All The Way To The Bank
I'm such an idiot. Here I am writing a book -- like a greased madwoman, in fact -- when the way to really make out is to fail to write a book, never turn the thing in. Then again, maybe that's just how it works for the very, very, very rich. They fuck up in some super-substantial way...and they take home $2.5 million as their...uh...punishment.
John Waples and Danny Fortson write for the Times of London about how the Lehman screwups are faring:
STAFF at Lehman's New York office who helped to cause the world's biggest corporate bankruptcy are to share in a $2.5 billion bonanza.The bonus, which has been described by London staff as a "scandal" has been pledged by Barclays Capital, the British-based bank that last week acquired Lehman's American operation and took on 10,000 staff.
The $2.5 billion (£1.4 billion) pot, which has been ring-fenced as part of the acquisition, has caused huge resentment among the 5,000 staff in the firm's European and Middle Eastern operations who are not guaranteed to be paid after this month. There are, however, hopes that half the jobs in Lehman's Canary Wharf office could be saved today by either Barclays or Nomura. Bids are being submitted for its UK equities and investment-banking business.
A Chapter 11 bankruptcy document filed by Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc says that Barclays has identified eight individuals out of the New York staff of 10,000 who are vital to make the deal succeed and a further 200 who are identified as "key". It is thought that these eight directors will be locked into two-year contracts worth between $10m and $25m a year.
The $2.5 billion had been accrued as part of the contribution to Lehman's group profits for the first nine months of the year. Barclays said there is no obligation to pay it out but analysts say the competitive pressure to keep key staff means he will have to. Bob Diamond, president of Barclays Capital, said: "You can expect us to manage this with the same discipline and performance terms that we have at BarCap".
The biggest bonuses are likely to be for Michael Gelband, the bank's global head of capital markets, and Eric Felder and Hyung Soon Lee, global co-heads of fixed income.
You know, rumor had it, when the stock market collapsed way back when, men were throwing themselves out of buildings out of shame when their companies failed. What are they doing now, throwing themselves off their new yachts? "Hey, darling, the Caribbean is lovely this time of year!"
The people were throwing out of theirs building because they were ashamed to have failed in their responsibilities. Today, when massive buy-outs by the government exists to clean their failures, why should they assume any guilt?
Toubrouk at September 22, 2008 5:19 AM
This is the worst possible solution they could have concocted. It may sound callous, but these homeowners cannot be kept on the books, be it the gov't's or the banks'. Unfortunately though, forcing people out of their homes is not conducive to winning elections ... Gov't needs to show they care, no matter what the costs may be further down the road!
Charles at September 22, 2008 6:00 AM
When exacly did we go from failing companies that wiped out all their employees to failing companies that miraculasly have just enough cash to give the board of directors a mulit million dollar parting gift?
lujlp at September 22, 2008 6:01 AM
I can't post anything.
I'm too busy puking.
doombuggy at September 22, 2008 7:01 AM
Well, if it was good enough for Frank Raines, it ought to be good enough for everyone, right?
Fuckers don't deserve a signing bonus, they deserve jail time.
brian at September 22, 2008 7:48 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/09/22/tank_all_the_wa.html#comment-1592263">comment from brianI also wonder at what point executives can be considered criminal in legal terms. For example, would Kenneth D. Lewis, head of B of A, a company which (per my investigation) seems to put a great many or possibly all their consumer banking customers in substantial danger of identity theft --
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/07/28/investigating_b.html
-- be up for some prosecution for this if they can show he knowingly allowed this? Would other executives there as well?
Amy Alkon
at September 22, 2008 8:04 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/09/22/tank_all_the_wa.html#comment-1592264">comment from Amy AlkonIs there a "duty of care" mandated here, in protecting customer information so as not to make them especially attractive to identity thieves?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duty_of_care
Amy Alkon
at September 22, 2008 8:06 AM
You'd think. But it seems the only "crime" these days is being responsible.
T's Grammy at September 23, 2008 11:15 AM
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