This Message Brought To You By "Assholes For Obama"
You know, if you're advertising something on your car, perhaps it would behoove you not to park like a total asswad? Note how far up the white line is on the left (denoting where the meter space is supposed to end), and how far up the parking meter that's supposed to be for my car's space is on the right.
Yes, in one of the most parking challenged areas in Santa Monica, right off Main Street, this twit takes up two spaces, when it would have taken, what, a single second more to pull up so somebody could park behind her? (At a glance, the stuff inside the car looked rather "her.")
I call this kind of utter oblivion to any other human's needs "Lunar Landing Behavior" -- appropriate on the moon, where there aren't a whole lot of other people who need to park so they make it to their mail place before closing time, etc., but not so appropriate on earth.
Only my Honda Insight or a Smart car could fit in the space left by the jerk -- and I still had to pull up three times to try to get out of the red, getting in and out of my car each time to check, and ultimately forgetting the letters I had to mail because of it. Here's the note I left on the person's car:
Okay, here's a question for you: Are Republicans or Democrats ruder? Where do Libertarians fit in? Or does rudeness have little or no connection to party line?







(At a glance, the stuff inside the car looked rather "her.")
Hey, we already knew the driver was female from how the car was parked.
;-)
Shawn at October 2, 2008 3:54 AM
I'd say democrat. Not because I am anti-democrat (I voted democrat from age 18 till the last election) but from what I observe. It's unreal how many Obama-stickered assholes have cut me off and/or nearly ran me off the road in the last month or so. I've yet to see a McCain sticker do it. Plenty of non-stickered assholes have too though.
I have a McCain sticker on my car, but only since last friday, so that can't explain it.
And no republican or libertarian has come over and clogged up your site with garbage, which is a pretty rude and stupid thing to do.
momof3 at October 2, 2008 5:21 AM
I think it's six of one, half a dozen of the other. In my neck o' the woods, it's who's ruder: Yankee or Redsox fans? My answer: They both suck, and they're both just as rude! o_O
Doesn't matter your party affiliation, if you're rude, you're rude.
Flynne at October 2, 2008 5:53 AM
I think being rude affects people across all political, religious, ethnic, and income lines, unfortunately. So many people seem to forget other people exist--it can't be just one "type."
MonicaM at October 2, 2008 6:07 AM
Wealthy trust-fund Democrats tend to be the rudest. It's that sense of entitlement that goes with having everything handed to you.
They're only Democrats so they can feel better about themselves. That whole "white guilt" thing.
brian at October 2, 2008 6:16 AM
And is it just me, or are some of these Obama pictures just creepy?
I've gone from disliking the man on personality and policy, to being actively creeped-out by his followers.
brian at October 2, 2008 6:17 AM
Brian, I am totally creeped-out just by Obama, never mind his followers! o_O
Flynne at October 2, 2008 6:49 AM
Well, I am frequently accused of being rude by people who have just changed the subject and attacked, and I have pointed this out and declined to be diverted. Does that mean I am rude or just that they've been rhetorical bullies for so long they have no resources beyond ad hominem?
--
phunctor
phunctor at October 2, 2008 7:06 AM
I'd say that rudeness (AND the inability to drive) crosses party lines and affects everybody. We have a lot of conservatives in my small town, and the rudeness of some of them is astounding. (I'm also amazed by the fact that NOBODY here knows how to execute a left turn.) :[
Sandy at October 2, 2008 7:27 AM
Here is the formula for assholeness on a college campus in Texas:
Dems-sometimes assholes
Repubs-sometimes assholes
Liber/Inde's-rarely assholes
Obamacrats-mostly assholes
The combination of entitlement, playing the race card, emotionally driven agendas, and a poor understanding of critical issues like the economy and the middle east just bring out the asshole in the Obamacrats at least around here. YMMV.
Sterling at October 2, 2008 7:29 AM
Speaking of left turns, a particular pet peeve of mine: people who don't pull up so you'll be able to make one, too, before the light changes.
Amy Alkon at October 2, 2008 7:30 AM
Libertarians are rudest, because they confuse a free culture with a licentious culture. Democrats are rude, because they feel entitled to unearned goods from other people. Republicans are the least rude, because they slavishly follow old school customs. It's not that Republican hearts are more pure or more moral, but they do tend to be more respectful. YMMV
Jeff at October 2, 2008 8:58 AM
On left turns. How about people who turn left on the near side of the median instead of the far side. You get into a deadlock: neither party can see oncoming traffic.
Arghghg!
Jeff at October 2, 2008 9:01 AM
I think 'rudeness' is a characteristic that cuts across party lines more or less equally. It depends on the individual.
In defense of the object of your wrath, it is possible that when they parked, there was a vehicle parked in a way that meant that they weren't able to park within the limit lines (it's happened to me - you can't tell from your picture how the space in front of this vehicle is situated).
There could be any number of mitigating circumstances that could excuse/explain the bad park job in addition to the fact that the person could just be a selfish/inattentive @sshole. Your note was justified (I like the booklets that had preprinted "Thanks for taking up 2 spaces" notes that looked like parking tickets) but the labeling of your pic "HopeAsshole" just comes off as petty. I'm an atheist and notice that the rudest/worst drivers I come across have God/Jesus stickers on their cars but then that could just be my own bias filter at work.
There are two types of people in this world, those who make generalizations, and those who don't
LanceThruster at October 2, 2008 9:13 AM
The way they do lefts here is by starting their turn before they even reach the intersection. I can't tell you how many times I've almost been hit by people doing that. Once it was even a police car. I think they forget that they're not on country roads. (I live in a rural area).
Sandy at October 2, 2008 10:02 AM
1. How dare you desecrate such a nice car with a political sticker. Though it is a beemer wagon and looks like a newer one with those godawful lines (hope they fired that designer).
2. That sticker reminds me of some type of trendy "Che" poster/t-shirt etc. and is creepy.
3. Snobs of either party usually are the worst. The hardcore lefty hippie/rich wannabe hippie and the stuck up rich corportate repub types with the occasional bible thumper/athiest holier than thou types.
Sio at October 2, 2008 10:46 AM
It has been my experience that selfish assholes come in all religious and political affiliations; even the people who claim they want nothing to do with the categories. I had someone with "McCain/Palin 2008" and "Give Peace a Chance!" stickers nearly side swipe my car and then flip me off the other day. The only 'piece' I could think of was a 2x4.
Julie at October 2, 2008 10:53 AM
but the labeling of your pic "HopeAsshole" just comes off as petty
It's a comment on the idea that it's dumb to be an asshole when you're advertising something (kind of like driving badly with a 1800 How's My Driving sticker on your bumper), not a knock on the person's particular politics.
Amy Alkon at October 2, 2008 10:54 AM
And do note that I didn't leave an anonymous note, LanceThruster. They had an opportunity to explain themselves if they wanted to, or to criticize me. It's unlikely that they parked that way out of necessity. They could have taken the last space, where I parked, because it was clearly available when they parked, since they'd taken a third of it, and there's just red (no parking) behind it.
I asked this about political affiliation and rudeness because of a number of studies coming out lately about how Republicans are one way and Democrats are another. Haven't read any of them to see if there seems to be any validity; frankly, it seems to be an overgeneralization. I am, as I've said before, a fiscal conservative who's socially libertarian, so I don't really fit either of the two major parties too well, and the Libertarians have put up yet another lameass instead of figuring out that they'd better have somebody with real charisma to have any chance of being a force in this country: Palin, but with libertarian cred and actual experience and requisite knowledge for the office.
Amy Alkon at October 2, 2008 11:10 AM
As an urban girl from the start, I've always loathed the two-space hog. But I also know that you can't necessarily tell someone's intentions from the way his/her car is parked. Someone could have been in front and left, or behind and lef, before you got theret. In fact that parker might have been furious at someone else's parking job. I always wish I had a button I could push to readjust the cars like a conveyor belt, one inch here, two there, adds up to a lot of spaces.
JulieA at October 2, 2008 11:18 AM
It's a comment on the idea that it's dumb to be an asshole when you're advertising something (kind of like driving badly with a 1800 How's My Driving sticker on your bumper), not a knock on the person's particular politics
---
And do note that I didn't leave an anonymous note, LanceThruster. They had an opportunity to explain themselves if they wanted to, or to criticize me.
Fair enough. I ascribe most of our traits to evolution and our reptilian brains. The veneer of civilization is very thin and we are descended from the most aggressive and rapacious as they were able to dominate or eliminate the weaker strains.
You come from a long line of persistent swimmers. Champions, every one. ~ Kurt Vonnegut - Galapagos
LanceThruster at October 2, 2008 11:32 AM
In central NY, democratic lawn signs mysteriously disappear twice as often as republican lawn signs. (I'll admit that I'm biased.)
Laser Plumb Bob at October 2, 2008 11:41 AM
I think it depends where you live.
If you live in an area that's overwhelmingly Democrat (California, and particularly Venice), more Democrats will be rude.
If you live in Western North Carolina, as I have, more Republicans for sure.
Followers of third-parties, I suspect, are so defensive about their choices that they're more likely to be polite.
And as far as cars go, I think the more expensive the car, the more likely it is that the driver's an a-hole.
LYT at October 2, 2008 12:03 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/10/02/asshole_for_oba.html#comment-1594828">comment from JulieA. Someone could have been in front and left, or behind and lef, before you got theret.
You can't tell from the photo, but if the person was able to take up that much of the space my car was in, it was open when they got there. About the only thing that could have fit in that space besides my car is a Smart car without being mostly in the red.
Amy Alkon
at October 2, 2008 12:38 PM
> the more expensive the car,
> the more likely it is that
> the driver's an a-hole.
Or are we just more likely to resent misconduct?
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at October 2, 2008 1:11 PM
I'm pretty sure the person who parked that car was not a secular christian (sic, small "c").
I learned that term from poet Miller Williams, who attributed it to a friend of his who had come to doubt the "mystery" parts of Christianity but couldn't shake the "morality" component. He said secular christianity has only two commandments. 1) Never take up more than one parking place. 2) Always be kind to drunks.
Axman at October 2, 2008 2:18 PM
I'd say Democrats are ruder, from a couple of years arguing about gun laws on the defunct CNN Guns Under Fire forum. Those people were the first to insist that others are savage homophobes, guilty of something - they don't know what, just "something" - if their baseless opinions are challenged, and the number of outright lies spewed was ridiculous.
But lately, I argue religious issues. Now I find that professing Christians are ignorant of the real world and hold a great deal of superstition and lies to be ordained truth. Some are just plain nasty. Apparently the massages of Jesus aren't really important. I can't tell what party these are, because they don't quote political candidates directly like the gun issues people; there's the idea that some Democrats are pretending to be morally sound to avoid losing the "Christian" vote.
People of all kinds are too lazy to look up actual sources of information, preferring to repeat whatever they saw last that they agree with.
Radwaste at October 2, 2008 2:32 PM
Oy, Crid- I'm not sure about it only being a resentment of the misconduct; at my kids' school there's an overt behavioral contrast between those who drive overpriced status symbols and those who know better or don't give a @#$%. If I were working on my sociology degree I'd love to do a thesis on it, it's so easily available. The teachers who staff the "drop-off/pick-up brigade" are well aware of it and the administration has even gotten involved, but there are some parents who simply feel the traffic and parking rules don't apply to them. Four way stop signs are mere suggestions, curbs are nuisances to be driven over, teachers standing in the lanes to help get kids out of cars and cross safely deserve to be hit (yes, it actually happened and the mom simply drove away). Anybody who doesn't get out of the way just doesn't understand how very important their car makes them. Incidentally, these are the same people who will leave their infant in its carseat in the car, but bring their "pursepooch" with them to go in to retrieve their older kids.
To the point though, I have yet to see an Obama sticker on any of the cars at the school, probably because it's a Christian school and most are following Palin's banner. So from this Midwestern population sample, it's not political affiliation, but rather tax bracket that seems to convey the ass-hattedness.
juliana at October 2, 2008 2:35 PM
Juliana, we have a problem with that at my kids' school. Nobody has gotten run over (yet), but there are a lot of people who think they're too important or too busy to actually pull INTO a parking spot to let their kid out. They either stop in the middle of the street or "try" to get out of traffic and block cars of parents that actually DID park. I had a bimbo in a Cadillac Escalade block me in even though she could see my back-up lights. Looked me right in the eye as she did it. The only reason I didn't back up anyway and hit her selfish ass was because my '86 Mustang didn't have any dents, and I wanted to keep it that way. Bitch.
Slight change of subject, did the mom who hit the teacher get caught? Or did she get away with it?
Sandy at October 2, 2008 2:57 PM
Amy, you could have written all that so much more emphatically with a car key.
Jim at October 2, 2008 2:58 PM
Sandy:
Yes, she got caught- but claimed no knowledge of the incident, it couldn't POSSIBLY have been HER....and she got away with it. She hit the teacher (who is in her late 50's) in the small of her back with her rearview mirror, left a lovely bruise the size of said mirror. That was the beginning of the administration's involvement and attempts to manage the mess. We actually have a coordinated set of drop-off lanes since there's not alot of parking available, and there's no bus since it's a private school. What's more, the area is very explicitly marked off as a disembarkment area, with preschool and elementary students walking through, but some SUV's are so high and have such poor visibility (like Hummers and FJ Cruisers) that you can't see the smaller kids. Remarkably, they admit they don't have problems with parents who drive more affordable cars.
juliana at October 2, 2008 3:52 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/10/02/asshole_for_oba.html#comment-1594878">comment from JimActually, I have no right to destroy anyone's property. Speech is free, vandalism is wrong, and I oppose it. I likewise think it's wrong to hit another person, except in self-defense.
Amy Alkon
at October 2, 2008 3:52 PM
Apparently the massages of Jesus aren't really important.
Hmm, sounds like the guy had some fun before they nailed him up there!
Amy Alkon at October 2, 2008 4:02 PM
A guy with a "Mean people suck" bumper sticker flipped me the bird one day.
Dale at October 2, 2008 4:05 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/10/02/asshole_for_oba.html#comment-1594897">comment from DaleHilarious. Really?
Reminds me of the Escalade I photographed a few years back with the "No War For Oil" bumpersticker.
Amy Alkon
at October 2, 2008 4:55 PM
I wonder if Sarah Palin gives Jesus massages, and if so, maybe we could all get one before the debate tonight?
Sterling at October 2, 2008 5:10 PM
Democrats--trendy, oh so liberal, oh so sensitive liberals.
I spent 8 years with Republican/conservative types in Pasadena when my older kid went to private school there, and while the sotto-voice, passive aggressive comments were passed, nothing beats the outright aggression of the fully-plumed Dems. I met at my daughter's progressive school. The rudest, the most profane and the most entitled people I've ever met, and that includes rappers and pro football players.
Kate at October 2, 2008 8:54 PM
Oops. Sorry.
Well, as a measure of rudeness, let us now go count the adjectives used to describe Gov. Palin vs. those used for Sen. Biden.
And then compare them to the utterer's description of themselves.
Radwaste at October 2, 2008 8:55 PM
Sorry to post this long piece as I have no link for it, but I thought it covered a lot of what was being discussed as far as attitudes go.
It's a Sin to Be a Sucker in Israel; Fear of being seen as a freier creates an unbending approach to life--from parking to peace talks. Israelis say the desire to be tough is rooted in history of survival.
Why does an Israeli driver speed up when another car signals its intent to enter his traffic lane? Because he doesn't want to be a freier--a sucker.
What do Israelis say when dodging military reserve duty? "What do I look like, a freier?"
And how does the Club Riviera advertise its five-star apartments? "Only Freiers Pay More!"
If Israelis could agree on anything--a highly unlikely prospect, but if they could--it just might be that the cardinal sin is to be a freier.
"It's a national characteristic," said author Zeev Chafets, who included a chapter on the subject in his book about Israelis, "Heroes and Hustlers, Hard Hats and Holy Men." The topic "is something we talk about all the time."
A freier, in Israeli eyes, is a shopper who waits in line to pay retail. It is a driver who searches for legal parking rather than pulling onto the sidewalk with the other cars. And if he does this in a rush to file a tax return, he is the consummate freier.
In short, a freier is anyone who cedes ground, plays completely by the rules or allows someone to get the better of him. The ideal Israeli is clever and tough, and a freier is the opposite. A pushover--in the way that Israelis often perceive Americans to be.
Of course, no one likes to be a sucker. The weakling who gets sand kicked in his face is universally scorned. Men and women all over the world lift weights to avoid this fate. But even muscle-bound Israelis dread a face full of sand on a daily basis, and the fear of being a freier plays into every aspect of life, from the most mundane task to the peace process with Palestinian Authority President Yasser Arafat.
This has earned Israelis an international reputation as rough and gruff, more brash than New Yorkers and ruder than the French. It is a stereotype that Israelis readily accept, adding only that a true Israeli is like the native sabra, or prickly pear--sharp on the outside but soft and sweet inside. And they explain that, like everything else in the Middle East, the fear of being a freier is rooted in at least 2,000 years of history.
Freiers are naive, apt to fall into a trap. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu beat the Labor Party's Shimon Peres in elections last year in large part because of Peres' nice-guy image and view that Israel must be generous from its position of strength, giving up land now to gain long-term peace.
"He was misperceived as someone who would make us freiers," lamented former aide Uri Dromi, "even though he never made concessions or compromises on something important to us."
Now, Netanyahu makes the point wherever he can that he is no sucker. In a recent interview with the daily newspaper Yediot Aharonot, he credited his muscle-flexing for the drop in terrorist attacks against Israel. "The Palestinians have learned that we aren't freiers," he said.
Two months ago, a Maariv newspaper reporter asked Netanyahu, "Would you agree that Arafat is no freier?"
"Yes, but neither am I," Netanyahu blustered.
The Middle Eastern Way of Negotiating
So does the fear of being a sucker bear upon peace negotiations?
Israel's bottom line in a peace accord with the Palestinians will be determined by "the sense that they are making decisions governing the existence of the Jewish state and future of the Jewish people," said a U.S. diplomat in Israel. Not by the fear of being a sucker.
And yet, peace negotiations are affected by the fact that neither Israelis nor Palestinians want to risk being a sucker by making concessions before the other side does.
In negotiations, an American generally will put his cards on the table, expect the other side to do the same and assume that a happy compromise lives somewhere in the middle. But Israelis and Palestinians do not bargain in this way.
"Both sides believe anything offered up first will be pocketed by the other side," said the diplomat, who asked not to be identified. "Whenever things break down, this is usually the problem. They will hold out carrots but do not want to give one up until they are sure the other side will give."
Lucy Shahar, co-author of the book "Border Crossings: American Interactions With Israelis," explained that, in the case of Israelis, this is because they do not share the American belief in win-win negotiations. "In his heart of hearts, an Israeli believes that is impossible," Shahar said. "In the Middle East, usually someone loses badly. Nothing in the Israeli experience suggests that everyone wins here or in the diaspora."
Because of this, business deals with Israelis also frequently start out on a more stubborn note than they do with Americans and Europeans. In the early stages, Israelis may see negotiations as more of a contest of wills than as potential cooperation. When an Israeli businessperson says "no," it may be a bargaining position rather than the final answer a foreigner thinks he is hearing.
"I guess they think if they're tough in the beginning, they won't get hurt," said Kevin Kunz, Swiss general manager of the American Colony Hotel in East Jerusalem. "They don't show weakness. But you can get past it. Eventually you develop a relationship on different terms . . . a real partnership rather than a business relationship."
As with the sabra, the sweet fruit is inside. But day-to-day life is spiny. The fear of being a sucker makes Israel a more rough-and-tumble place than its modern malls and high-tech industries might suggest. It turns driving into a bumper-car competition and makes grocery shopping as trying as arm wrestling.
Disregard for rules--of common courtesy or the road--makes life unpredictable.
The freier factor affects attitudes on nearly every subject. When Israel's telephone company, Bezeq, announced an 80% drop in the price of international calls, Israelis did not simply rejoice. "I feel like such a freier for having paid the higher rates all these years," said an Israeli consumer who frequently phones abroad.
On the other hand, former Finance Minister Dan Meridor recently lost a showdown with Netanyahu over economic policy and ultimately lost his job--and still rose in national stature. He stood up to the prime minister, proving he is not a freier and positioning himself to challenge Netanyahu for the Likud Party leadership.
In Maariv's weekly column, "Who Is an Israeli?" readers define themselves as the anti-freier:
* "An Israeli is someone who lets you back out of a parking spot only if he needs it himself."
* "An Israeli is someone who pretends to be asleep when an old man gets on the bus."
* "An Israeli is pro-peace--as long as it is not made with enemies."
Memories of Years in the Diaspora
Theories abound on the origin of an Israeli's fear of being a freier. Social commentator Stuart Schoffman says it is a response to the Jews' victimization in the diaspora. Israelis built their own state to ensure they would never again be oppressed by the goyim, or non-Jews, and they mean to be strong. Nobody's freier.
"If Jews were scholars and merchants in the diaspora, the new Israelis would be fighters and farmers," Schoffman said. A country settled by fighters and farmers is hardly tentative. Pioneers are macho--they are not freiers. They lay claim to the land rather than ceding ground.
But Israel is a small and crowded country of scarce resources dug out of a grudging desert. There is only so much ground to go around. Add to that nearly 50 years of conflict with Arab neighbors over land and you get an Israeli who has grown up staking territory in a semipermanent state of tension, never certain if he would be going to work or going to war.
Perception of Life as a Zero-Sum Game
"There is a perception here of life as a zero-sum game that stems from being a minority in a hostile area and fighting for survival," said Yoram Peri, a former newspaper editor at Hebrew University's Communications Department.
A zero-sum game leaves losers. Intent on winning, Israelis walk around with their guns drawn--in full view, that is, from the waistband of their bluejeans--and their chests thrust out as if to say, "Just try me. I am not a freier."
Amnon Dankner, a commentator for the daily newspaper Haaretz, offered a different explanation for the Israeli concern with being a freier: It stems from a feeling of deception. Israel was founded by socialist Zionists who urged their followers to sacrifice for the good of the Jewish state. Work hard and stay away from luxus--luxury--they were told. " 'Careerist' was an ugly word," Dankner said.
But while many Israelis stayed in the army and slaved on the kibbutz, the children of political apparatchiks went to university to become professionals--particularly some of the Ashkenazim, or Eastern European Jews. Now they belong to a yuppie elite in a wealthier Israel that is abandoning the collective ideology for free-market individualism, Dankner said.
The farmers and fighters, meanwhile, are left feeling like freiers.
Today, many parents try to keep their sons from serving in combat units in southern Lebanon, a nagging war of attrition with Iranian-backed Hezbollah guerrillas. Soldiers engaged in this dangerous duty feel that they do not get enough respect. "We want more appreciation," a paratrooper complained recently in the Jerusalem Post, "and we don't want to be spoken of as the suckers in Lebanon."
While the vast majority of Israelis still fulfill obligatory army service, increasing numbers say the follow-up reserve duty is for freiers. As is paying full taxes and obeying the law to a T.
But why do Israelis rebel against the government of the Jewish state they have worked so hard to build? "We're still battling the 2,000-year-old Jewish tendency to distrust government, because the government was outsiders," said Chafets, the author.
Linguists are uncertain of the origin of the Hebrew word freier. Gabriel Birenbaum, of the Academy of the Hebrew Language, says it may come from the turn-of-the-century German term frei herr, or free man, referring to a promiscuous man. Or it may be taken from the Yiddish freier--someone who is free from keeping the religious mitzvahs, or commandments.
Israeli folklorist Dov Noi says the word appears in Yiddish songs from early this century meaning someone who is courting or in love. Since a lovesick person's vision can be distorted, Noi says, perhaps this evolved into the idea of someone who is naive or easily taken for a ride.
To prove he is no freier, an Israeli will argue a point with all his heart and both hands. Even when saying "yes," he will shout as if contradicting someone who already has said "no." And he will let you know the customer is always wrong--unless it happens to be him.
"In London, the culture is to give way, be a gentleman, don't compete," said Peri, the former editor. "But an Israeli is the opposite. If you are stronger, why should you give way to someone weaker? In a debate, the British will say, 'You have a point.' In a debate here, no Israeli will admit he has been persuaded to change his mind. That shows weakness," he said.
Americans as the Biggest Freiers of All
Americans often find the Israeli attitude intolerably rude. Israelis, meanwhile, find Americans to be the biggest freiers of all. They are naive idealists. Whether tourists or Jewish immigrants, they are seen as easy marks.
Author Shahar, a dual citizen of Israel and the United States, said Americans are perceived as innocents who follow the rules and who believe a person will actually do what he promises to do. "An American is willing to trust until someone proves to be untrustworthy," Shahar said. "Israel is much more like the rest of the world, where the basic assumption is that people . . . should not be trusted until proven trustworthy."
Israelis, she said, view rules as something to be challenged. If a sign says "no entrance," Israelis will try the door anyway. If a doctor's assistant says no appointments are available today, an Israeli will keep pushing in the belief that exceptions will be made. Only a freier takes no for an answer.
Israelis see this rule-bending as an advantage, particularly in times of war, when flexibility and improvisation can be a key to victory.
Americans see used-car dealers as villains and sympathize with the consumer who has been had. But buy a lemon in Israel, and you are at fault. "You were naive and stupid enough to buy the car," Shahar said. "You were the freier."
LanceThruster at October 3, 2008 10:01 AM
Amy - the note you left is actually kind of rude and it will never bring about anything but anger in the individual you left it for. You sound rather self rightous in it, as if you are some perfect woman who is never anything but wonderful and kind and it is only fitting that you may rudely point out other peoples flaws. Let's face it - EVERYONE has been an inconsiderate asshole at some point...and NOBODY likes their noses shoved in it.
Want some real results? Try being civil and understanding:
Dear Car Parker,
I am not sure of the circumstances you parked under, however little room has been left for other people behind you. I was barely able to park my small car behind you and I doubt anyone else would be able to. It would be much appreciated by all if you would be sure to leave room for other people, as parking space is very limited in the area!
Thanks very much!!
Karen at October 3, 2008 10:51 AM
Karen, you're too nice! I like Amy's note. It's direct and to the point, and if the person she left it for takes offense, they can contact Amy & let her know. I have a "business card" that's good to put on cars when they park too close to yours. It says, "THANKS for parking so close. Next time, leave a fucking can opener so I can get my car out! ASSHOLE!!!" and it has a picture of Mickey Mouse flipping the bird, with a smile on his face.
Sandy at October 3, 2008 10:56 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/10/02/asshole_for_oba.html#comment-1595115">comment from KarenYou sound rather self rightous in it, as if you are some perfect woman who is never anything but wonderful and kind and it is only fitting that you may rudely point out other peoples flaws.
I'm actually kind of a bitch...to the deserving. And if you lived in my neighborhood, you might see me get out of my car three times and repark...making sure I pull back as far as possible to the end. I'm not particularly good at parallel parking, but I make a real effort not to take up more space than I need to (so I won't hit somebody's car on the way out -- and I take pains not to do that, multiple backups, etc). Unlike this jerk, I realize I'm not the only one on the planet (clue number one, I drove to get my mail; I didn't come in for a lunar landing).
As for being "civil and understand," this person isn't driving while blind. Their "circumstances"? DRIVING WHILE BEING AN ASSHOLE.
They didn't care enough about anybody else's need to find parking in this area, where parking spaces are not exactly wide open, so why do you think appealing to their sense of civility would be in the slightest bit effective? With somebody like this, the idea that parking badly will get you a nasty note -- which suggests that there are angry people out there, some of whom (certainly not me ever -- see above) might key your car -- seems a much better deterrent.
Actually, this woman is probably lucky I parked behind her, because somebody else might've sent the message not in pen and ink, but in a way that would've cost her thousands at the body shop. Oh, and yes, the note was cathartic. It was fun to write. I forgot to add: "Have a bad day, and here's where you send me $5 for the time and aggravation you cost me, you inconsiderate cur."
Finally, I pretty much guarantee you, the person who drives this car also sits next to you in restaurants and shouts into her cell phone. And, depending on her ovaries and level of attentiveness to birth control, she's probably squeezed out a couple of now-underparented brats piercing your eardrums in public places.
Just call me Madame Fatima.
Amy Alkon
at October 3, 2008 11:50 AM
Hey, Lance, it's right here. Google sometime, will ya?
Radwaste at October 3, 2008 1:48 PM
Sign my father used to leave on cars that parked too close:
"Thank you for parking so close. Next time, please leave a can opener."
brian at October 3, 2008 2:54 PM
This is going to sound wierd, but in my observation, it falls along socio-economic lines.
Wealthy Republicans are more polite than wealthy Democrats. (Doesn't mean they won't stab you in the back, though).
Poor Republicans are less polite than poor Democrats.
Not sure why, just my anecdotal evidence.
NicoleK at October 3, 2008 5:42 PM
Here is your answer. How many anarchists vote for or supportfor democratic candadite vs. the republican one? For those who refuse to face reality I'll answer that for you. Anarchists favor the left.
And which political candidate for president most recently told his supporters to get into other peoples faces if they don't agree to vote for him? Obama!
http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/09/its-war-obama-tells-supporters-argue.html
Brett at October 3, 2008 10:54 PM
Hmm. I should have thought of this earlier.
What is the political orientation of Sadly, No?
Radwaste at October 4, 2008 4:41 AM
Ya know, the asshole is actually a very intelligent organ. It knows when to open and close all by itself.
Truth be told about "rudeness", I am not sure if there is a line like this to be drawn. After campaigning for enough liberty candidates in my lifetime (ie- trying to get major party voters to listen to reason), I notice a strong divide amongst our (one) two-party system. Democrats are less likely to discuss the issues themselves, even when pressed, and seem quite content to let their representatives do the talking/acting for them. Republicans, conversely, are very opinionated, and rarely shut up long after you have wanted them to about whatever issue they jump to every 15 seconds.
The difference that I see, oddly enough, is that the few Democrats who do have something to say can do so with reason much better than the Republicans can. Which is why I have found that the liberty message, even if it means taking money and power away from their holy bureaucrats that they worship so much, may make more inroads because at least they have a penchant for reasoning. I, personally, think it's rude to confiscate wealth from one individual and arbitrarily give it to another, so that leaves it pretty much a dead heat as far as "rudeness" goes with the major parties.
Oh Amy, btw, we did have a true conservative candidate. His name is Ron Paul. And we saw what the voters had to say about him during the primaries.
Perhaps this country just isn't ready to be free? I still have hope ... so to the streets I take this liberty message.
:-/
Ian
Ian at October 4, 2008 10:45 AM
Hey, Lance, it's right here. Google sometime, will ya?
Thanks. I actually did try to find it with a search engine (dogpile.com - I have political problems with Google) and knew it was originally from the LA Times but thought it was so old that it would not be in the free archives.
I guess that's why you're the Advice Goddess. ;-)
LanceThruster at October 6, 2008 8:24 AM
Seems Obama voters have disdain for private property that gives a different opinion than theirs...namely my MCain stickers and my NRA life member/instructor stickers on the back of my SUV.
I keep having to replace them because someone keeps ripping them off! The McCain Campaign will give you a sticker for free, so I'm sure they just didn't "want" to have one :-)
Maybe that just shows the sophmoroic tendencies of the typical Obama supporter...never mentally graduated from living in their parent's basement playing WarCraft on their PC 24/7.
If that's who is going to choose the next president and congress...God help us!
Magnum at October 7, 2008 10:45 AM
"The difference that I see, oddly enough, is that the few Democrats who do have something to say can do so with reason much better than the Republicans can." - Ian
Then I wonder just why it is that they can't seem to recall their candidate's voting record. Maybe that's too much to ask when the candidate can't seem to do that.
"I guess that's why you're the Advice Goddess. ;-)" - Lance
Look again. Not even close. And if Dogpile can't find a guy with the name, "Zeev", it's time to use anything else.
Radwaste at October 8, 2008 2:02 AM
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