All The Fruits And Nuts Are At Their Keyboards
Got this e-mail from Scarlett Johansson's "close friend Serge G." Uh, make that "original Scarlett's" "close friend Serge G.":
In a message dated 3/29/09 3:14:07 AM, galabs2000@gmail.com writes:IT IS NOT A SPAM, but if you received that message second and plus time JUST CLICK ?DELETE? button and have a nice day. Don't feel bad, please understand original Scarlett's family very desperate to shut down that humiliating antichristian "actress" clones line career development.
Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson ?actress? actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career, surname Galabekian, because of adoption happened in 1992. Clones was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!
I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.
But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well.
Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that.
Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorize personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way! Her close friend Serge G.
P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION.
H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration.
This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more.
These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and many other countries, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.
Serge, honey, just say the word and we'll send over the nice men from the...uh...spa.







What's this? No request for funds to be wire-transferred to help reunite the two Scarletts?
kishke at March 29, 2009 9:08 AM
And there, I admire his originality.
Amy Alkon at March 29, 2009 9:14 AM
I want a Scarlett Johannsen clone, but right now I can only afford the Rosie O'Donnel model...
Eric at March 29, 2009 9:25 AM
What a great idea for a business -- Clone-A-Date! "Hi, yeah, I'd like to order a pair of Scarletts and an Angelina ... Saturday delivery is fine ... options? Um, maybe deflate the Angelina lips a little ... and I'll put it on my Visa card. I could use the points."
Gog_Magog_Carpet_Reclaimers at March 29, 2009 9:36 AM
> I want a Scarlett Johannsen clone,
> but right now I can only afford
> the Rosie O'Donnel model...
Ouch. Bad weekend.
PS- They Biel's a better cook. Good to know, right?
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at March 29, 2009 10:04 AM
This guy is nuts. Thank goodness we live in a country where our rational leaders belive in a 2000yr old undead capenter born to a woman who never had sex.
lujlp at March 29, 2009 10:16 AM
They Biel?
PS- I may order the Jessica Biel clone instead of the Scarlett. I wonder which one is lower maintainance?
Eric at March 29, 2009 10:57 AM
They say... (Thinking of sex and food at the same time is disorienting....)
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at March 29, 2009 11:33 AM
Hmm, a Scarlet clone might be nice. My Lucy Liu bot has been on the fritz lately. Maybe good ol Helmut Kohl there can fix her.
Sio at March 29, 2009 1:10 PM
This sounds like the Logan's Run remake, The Island, that came out a few years ago. It didn't do great at the box office, but I absolutely loved it. It seems this letter writer was inspired by the same cool scene that had the real Calvin Klein advertisement of Scarlett J. You know, Scarlett-the-Clone amazed to see Scarlett-the-Actress as a sexed up parfume vixen.
And if this doesn't make sense, go see the movie. Then it will. :)
Lauren at March 29, 2009 1:10 PM
Two Scarletts? Mmmmmmmmm, yummy!
I'd almost be willing to send the guy a buck just for the mind-candy he provided!
Jay R at March 29, 2009 2:01 PM
Sure, laugh. What a nutcase!
Now read
(Sign me up for a Scarlett clone of my own.)
jerry at March 29, 2009 4:52 PM
Don't worry, the president doesn't believe in any of that stuff.
I got that e-mail a while back, but try as I might, I've been unable to find any ordering info.
Jim Treacher at March 29, 2009 6:50 PM
If there's a Biel clone available, I'm probably going to need to cancel Husband's credit cards.
ahw at March 29, 2009 7:18 PM
Imagine meeting them both at once, as pouty, sullen teenagers.
Crid [cridcridatgmail] at March 30, 2009 1:46 AM
Crid,
I WOULD imagine them both at once, as pouty, sullen teenagers, but I think that such thoughts are illegal in this state!
Jay R at March 30, 2009 1:23 PM
...a 2000yr old undead capenter born to a woman who never had sex.
That would explain Bob Vila.
Conan the Grammarian at April 2, 2009 4:44 PM
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