Thanks Amy I really needed this. I used to be a waif for the majority of my life. I've been taking strong anti-depressants for a while now (4 pills a day)and holy shit I cant stop the weight gain. It's an amazing thing not to be insane but being fat is not cute at all. I went from a size 0 to a 2 to a 4 and now I'm getting eerily close to a 6. I'm going to read Taubes book, and Diets Dont Work and take up your idea of not eating carbs. Hopefully I can be sane and thin at the same time.

A recent trip to Japan reminded me that the food here is soo shitty. As well as the fashions.

Would it not be simpler if clothes and shoes were sized in inches or cm? It works for hats, belts, trousers and a few other garments.

Thanks for the post Amy. I've been an Avoirdupo-American all my life and now that I'm aged and infirm, I need all the information I can get to restrain myself from enjoying the foods I have always loved. I just ordered the Taubes book.

I thought there was something about the circumstances leading up to her death..she bloated over the last few weeks or something? Probably they measured her just after her death, as a matter of course, then some moron got wind of the numbers and spread it all around.

Kind of like the way the bogus 'twinkie defense' info was spread, except in this case the person who ate the junk food killed herself instead of someone else!!

For anyone interested, Marlon Brando (who could emotionally map people just by looking at them) told me he talked to her on the phone before her death, and she didn't kill herself.

I've been taking strong anti-depressants for a while now (4 pills a day)and holy shit I cant stop the weight gain.

sounds like you're taking Remeron? I gained 50 pounds on it (which I subsequently lost after changing meds).

The drug manufacturer toutes the increased apetite as a 'benefit'. I believe it is due to the dopaminergic effect.

she didn't kill herself

I didn't mean actual suicide - is that what your'e referring to?

On something (kinda) unrelated; most of the pictures I saw of you Amy were stunning and tastefully done. Have you ever thought of a side job as a model? I still remember that stunning picture of you in a green dress and I am sure you could have some opportunities if you do so.

I was a size 2-4 in high school and for all my adult life I've been a 4....which may mean that I'm actually what used to be a 6 or 8? The sizing is getting so absurd. My 14 yr old daughter wears "00"s. What is that?

I weigh about 10 pds more than I did in my early 20s, before kids, but I think I look better now - healthier, sexier. I'm 5'5", 112 pds, and I also have broad hips - my waist is around 26" and my hips are about 35" - but I comfortably wear a size 4. In fact, even when I was 105 pds, I usually had to wear a size 4 mostly due to my hips. So, I just don't see how Marilyn could've worn a size 14 or 16. For her height and frame, that would've been obese, and she definitely wasn't.

The low carb diet does work, but it's hard for me to stick to because I'm most vegetarian. I don't like eating all that meat. Lately, I've been trying to eat raw food (fresh fruits and veggies) at least 80% of the time. It's supposedly much healthier and prevents cancer, so I'm gonna try that. But I stay away from breads and pastas (except "Dreamfields", which is low-carb - you should try that, Amy - it's just like regular pasta).

So far, my weight has been dropping a little, and I have more energy. Has anyone else tried raw food?

Marilyn was hot. Curvy, girly and hot.

Has anyone else tried raw food?

Hate it. Hard on my stomach.

just outta curiosity, where did this sizing regime come from in the first place? Women seem unnaturally enamoured with it, but there would be no inflation if things were measured in a unit of length. Measurements are just a ballpark anyway, because there is no way to tell how clothing would fit until you actually try some on. I wear levi's primarily bacause their design seems to go well with how my body is made. Other manufacturers, not so much. Just seems to me that women are prideful about that number, and that is why it's subject to deception.

FWIW, guys could certainly care less about that number... what we are wired to care about is the hip/waist ratio... which is why Norma Jean turned our heads in the first place.

Nothing against low-carb (some of my best friends... etc), but I could never do it because I am kind of a foodie and there are too many carb-y things I like to eat regularly. What works for me is just balanced eating combined with exercise. I keep my calorie intake in the 1800-2200 calorie range 5-6 days each week, and allow 1-2 2400-3500 days. Exercise 6 days/week, 30-90 minutes. I never feel like I am depriving myself, and I can eat every kind of food.

When will people get it? It is not weight or height, it is ratios, ratios, ratios. That is why a fit gymnast can be hot a hell and so can a fit volleyball player.

MM had great ratios. Who gives a $@^% what her weight or height was?

just outta curiosity, where did this sizing regime come from in the first place?

One word? Rarity. As far as I can tell, the criteria for female beauty seems to be based on rarity.

If we look at the time of the renaissance, beautiful women were fat and quite fair. It was due to the fact that those women were living in the high classes of society, away from the sun and with access to abundant food.

Today, we got the reverse. Living and working inside is the norm while overabundant food and a sedentary lifestyle make the renaissance beauty quite common. Now, the tanned, near anorexic is the beauty cannon.

I hope it make sense.

That sounds like a lot of calories to me, Lisa. You must have a very good metabolism too.

I don't know your age, but I'm 45, and I never had any trouble losing weight until about a year and half ago. Everybody warns about that middle-age slow down in metabolism, but I wasn't worried. All my life, if I noticed a gain, I just cut back for the next few days, and it was gone.

Yet, lately, it seems to require a lot more work...like going low carb for weeks just to lose a pound or two. I know I'm not fat, but it's frustrating and a little scary because I don't want to get any heavier. This is a good weight for me, but I have to really watch what I eat now to stay here.

I've seen my friends, who were once very thin, gradually pack on the pounds as they reach this age. I've always assumed it was strictly diet and poor exercise (and thus, it would NEVER happen to me), but now, I don't feel so sure anymore. Something definitely changes.

The raw food diet isn't for everyone, maybe not even me (I've only been on it a couple of weeks), but my main goal is to be healthy, and, so far, I haven't had any negative effects and feel really good.

Yet, for rapid weight loss, I agree that low-carb is the way to go. Avoiding carbs allows you to eat until you're full and still lose weight. I just wish there were more low carb fruits and vegetables, as it gets pretty boring for me.

In Paris, I see older women who are not skinny, but who are of normal size. To suffer through life, starving yourself, is not for me. But, as a woman, my looks are especially important in how I'm seen in the world. Just how it is. So, aside from wanting to feel energized, it's important that I not pork out.

Off-topic, but this is a good friend of mine:

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20090412/LIFE/904120337/-1/BUSINESS04

Anyone else read between the lines and pick up on the fact that his ex-wife has estranged his children from him? I hope his son reads this article.

"I hope it make sense." Toubrouk

It makse sense, but that wasn't what I was curious about. I wanted to know how this 00, 0, 2, 4,6, 8, 10... and the inbetweens 5,7,9 [used to have a friend that worked in that store] came from. Guys do possibly have a similar problem but in reverse. What was XL 10 years ago, is now larger than what is 2xl by the same seller [Gap]... according to the tape measure, I am still the same chest size, and my arms haven't grown... 'course that may just be that I am an outlier in the first place.

I am a few inches taller than average, in my late 20's, and probably do have a higher metabolism than is typical for a woman. I also try to make the most of my workout time with intense run/walk/incline intervals & weights rather than repetitive elliptical sessions like many others do. Not to totally knock the elliptical, it's a great low-impact option for those with injuries, but it's not the best bang for your buck otherwise, unless you set it to a high resistance.

"Actually, Taubes, through his reporting, has discovered that a calorie is not a calorie. Carb calories put on weight."

Amy, I totally believe that low-carb has numerous advantages, that you experienced everything you say you did, and that it's a terrific option for lots of people. I haven't read Taubes, but I am sure he does not make the blanket claim that ANY non-low-carb diet will cause one to gain weight.

I lost over 20 lbs in about 6 months without going low-carb or super low-cal (averaged about 1900 calories a day). I maintain my now-21 BMI as described in previous post and have no desire to be skinnier (although I am trying to build some muscle and get faster). Everyone's body is different, and all the available research should be used as a guide to what will PROBABLY happen. The best way to lose weight is to experiment with various food/exercise combos (and document your experimentation) until you find one that you 1) can do, and 2) has the desired effect on your body.

The title of the blog post is ugly: Are you really in a battle with women who weigh more, and eager to overpower their "defenses"?

The American fascination with beauty is getting out of control. Is there any reason that I, Joe Taxpayer, should give a rat's ass whether or not Michelle's mascara is smudged?

Seriously, what the fuck is that?

Do I have to pay someone to keep the Mariah Carey tunes properly indexed on her Ipod, too?

Sorry, forgot the link.

> (I'll think of you all tomorrow as
> I'm having my usual two-egg cheese
> omelet for breakfast with a strip
> of bacon on the side.)

Amy's eats!

Amy, I agree about the "no good reason" for the obesity rates in this country. Totally anecdotal, but practically everyone I know who emigrated to the US as an adult gained at least 20 lbs within the first year or two. Some gained much more.

Lovelysoul: I have a few years on you and like you, have seen many of my same-aged friends pick up weight over the past few years. I've had to make some changes in my habits to maintain my weight, but so far have been holding firm. My advice? In addition to watching your diet, Increase your weight lifting and other muscle-building exercise. Loss of muscle mass tanks your metabolism in middle age. Lift, do push-ups, plyometrics, etc.

>>but practically everyone I know who emigrated to the US as an adult gained at least 20 lbs within the first year or two. Some gained much more.

Just a tiny defensive data point, Lisa, but I did not!

"Just a tiny defensive data point, Lisa, but I did not!"

In that case, you get extra props. I'm always glad to hear a happy ending.

Weightlift. heavy weights. It's the only thing that ups your metabolism over time. I'd drop dead on Lisa's plan. Less than 2500a day doesn't cut it, and that's when I'm normal, not pg or bfing or really working out. I'm 5'10", slender build, and fairly high metabolism. Comes from nature, but my brother getting me into weightlifting in college really helps now.

My BMI in college was 18.4, right before this pregnancy (so after 3 kids, 2 of whom were twins) it was 22.2 and I'm in my 30's. Not bad. I eat major sweets, but little bread or rice or pasta. All I've ever had to do is get moving more, if I needed to drop a little. I love being active. If you burn enough, you can eat white bread and bologna all day and not gain :)

momof3, I keep planning to embark on a more serious (i.e. heavier weights, fewer reps) lifting routine but am procrastinating. Maybe this week...

A couple of asides:

Anyone ever try the Atkins (Adkins?) diet? Meat, meat, meat - I heard if you eat so much as 3 or 4 peanuts during the first few months, it shoots the diet all to hell.
(not that I'm going to try the diet myself).

The other thing is, what exactly was the controversy surrounding Scarsdale (from Scarsdale-Pritikin) a while back - someone of the Scarsdale family got murdered or something?

I can't stand to do exercise just for the sake of exercise, so in January and February, when it's generally too cold for me to enjoy hunting birds or cutting, splitting, and stacking firewood, I gain a little over five pounds. I've been working it off since the weather warmed up in March. Progress on the weight reduction is slow, but my woodshed is more than half full. Now it's time to till the garden and plant early crops. When that project is finished, it will be warm enough to paddle the canoe around and throw lures in the direction of fish.

Just don't expect to see me at the Y working out on what do they call it? A cardio machine? Or lifting heavy weights, except chunks of firewood or large fish.

"sounds like you're taking Remeron"

No. Most anti-depressants have weight-gain or weight loss issues.

> a tiny defensive data point,
> Lisa, but I did not!

We loyal natives often have to pick up the load for slacker immigrants... I gotcha covered, Jody. (5'7"/170, 40+ pounds over the college fightin' weight).

(And BTW, how many Britizoid 'stones' is that? One reason stories like this are so annoying is that women say 'I used to be size this and now I'm size that' as if men would know –or care– what those obfuscating numbers mean. It makes it even more obvious that their obsession with the topic [perhaps including this post] is about the secret codes used by women to communicate with each other more than to make any broader point. [So to speak.])

Most men walk through their day in binary mode, instantly dropping everyone they see into one of two categories: Want some or Pasadena. This judgment is made in a fraction of a second, and with a conviction that mocks the best efforts of a Formula One driver. It's a handsomely elemental, non-bureaucratic process. The decision is not subject to review or quibbling.

> they maximize their options in
> life by looking the best they
> possibly can

Only in those realms where beauty is decisive. Beauty is insidiously important, but not universally important.

> There's no good reason there are
> so many seriously obese women
> in this country.

Can't argue. Can't argue.

I just bought Gary Taubes book and just started reading it. I'm willing to try the low carb thing by trying to eat meat and veggies for most of my meals, and cutting out sweets. But there's no way I'm going to be able to go the rest of my life never eating a sandwich, or a slice of pizza. I hope that's not what is necessary. By the way, seeing people worry about going up to a size 4 or 6 is very depressing for someone like me with a serious weight problem (try size 16?)

"By the way, seeing people worry about going up to a size 4 or 6 is very depressing for someone like me with a serious weight problem (try size 16?)"

I know what you mean, but I think what people with "unserious" weight problems are really worried about is the trend rather than the actual size. It's not "oh no I'm a size 6 and that is fat and ugly" it's "oh no I've gone up two sizes in 3 months and at this rate I'll be a size 24 by next year" or whatever. I'd been fairly slim all my life without effort, but I put on a bunch of weight after switching jobs and it was scary how quickly it happened. I was OK with my looks even at my heaviest, but I knew it would continue if I didn't do something about it.

Good luck though! I might read Taubes' book myself on my next plane ride.

Does anyone know how wine figures into a diet? We drink a bottle (between 2) almost every night. A good bottle with dinner. Does wine count as a carb? I'd hate to give that up, I've reached 50 yrs now and suddenly my waist is thickening at an alarming rate! Carbs I can cut, ramp up the exercise - no problem, but don't want to cut the wine!

"I was OK with my looks even at my heaviest, but I knew it would continue if I didn't do something about it"

Yeah that's how I feel. At first I was very happy to gain weight. Trust me finally getting an ass and tits is a good thing, and I could still fit in my clothes. But it hasnt stopped, and that's very dangerous.

> Trust me finally getting an ass
> and tits is a good thing

Ain't it the truth?

Oh, you mean...

Only in those realms where beauty is decisive. Beauty is insidiously important, but not universally important.

It actually is, for a woman, in many small ways.

Actually, I just looked it up, and it seems wine, especially white, isn't carb-heavy. Hmmm...didn't know that.

Also, I don't think it's good to be all crazy in the way you eat. I feel good eating very low carbs, but this afternoon, Gregg and I went and saw The Two Germanys show at the LA County Museum, and then went to Monsieur Marcel restaurant at the Farmer's Market. I had white wine with my dinner and chocolate mousse for dessert. This will not kill me or make me bloat up like the Michelin man.

But, as Gary said to me in an e-mail a few months ago -- or maybe I read it in his book, not sure -- some people can eat lots of carbs, some people can eat some carbs, and some people can eat almost no carbs at all. You have to figure out what's right for you, what feels best, what body shape you want to have and whether it's worth it to you to do what it takes to have it. Some people will be effortlessly thin eating some carbohydrates. Some people will just care that they're not very fat. I was on the thin side of normal before I started eating this way -- and I ate oatmeal and some bread, but not much. I don't feel compelled to be quite thin, but again, eating this way makes me feel so great I have a hard time making the tradeoff to go all bready.

Most anti-depressants have weight-gain or weight loss issues

yes, but remeron is an absolute killer in the weight gain area. It's the worst by far - I've read about people (including some women) gaining over 100 pounds on it.

Even a tiny dose can easily result in a 20-25 lb gain or more.

Yes, I do work out with weights. I know muscle burns more than fat. That's the frustrating part - doing everything right and still putting on or at least not losing weight.

And that is a fear that shouldn't have a "size" to it. One of the most frustrating things I deal with is the nasty stares when I turn down dessert. It's like, "Oh, you're thin, you don't need to watch what you eat." And I want to scream, "If I didn't watch what I ate, I'd be fat!"

There's nothing wrong with trying to combat major weight gain before it becomes a big problem. I think that's part of the American mentality - wait (or weight) until you're fat before addressing the situation. Yet, by then, it is often too late...or at least much harder to reverse.

> It actually is, for a woman, in
> many small ways.

Silly silly silly. Universally? Silly.

I wonder if the small portion sizes indicative to French cuisine is simply a product of French cuisine being rich in dietary fat. The more dietary fat a food has, the more filling it will be (generally speaking). As Gary Taubes notes in his book, carbs can themselves induce hunger. If you take into account that American food is rich in carbohydrates, it's no great surprise, then, that American portions are larger.

I blame the agriculture lobby.

Lisaq, and any other woman who'd like to discuss lifting, pop on over to my blog to say hello or shoot me an email (gs749 at yahoo dot com). I've been on a modified body building routine for a while now. I'm ready to do a trim-down for the summer season and am considering the possibility of entering a figure contest.

Even during a trim down you still need to eat carbs post-lift to help the muscles repair. I'll lift super hard then have pasta for dinner w/o the guilt.

Always love discussing this w/ interested parties!!

Silly silly silly. Universally? Silly.

To deny the importance of looks, especially for a woman, is very, very silly. You may not like this importance, but it's there.

On sizing: Pattern sizes are not the same as ready-to-wear sizes. I am 5'4" and weigh about 105, but even in modern pattern sizes, I would be an 8. In pre-'70's sizes, I'd be an even larger size.

Here is a link:
http://www.risingfeenix.com/sizing

I've always figured that's the reason people think Marilyn was "big." A size 16 in a dressmaker's pattern is actually quite small.

I find it amusing that modern size 14-16 women try to claim that they have the same figure as Marilyn Monroe, or that they claim they're "curvy." Sorry, but I don't think that extra belly rolls qualify one as curvy. As previously mentioned, it's about proportions.

> but it's there.

Always? In every context until the end of time no matter what and there's nothing anyone can do about it?

Geez, the uglies better jus' kill themselves. That's what I'd do if I thought it was all about being tall, or rich, or powerful...

You're pushing this point too hard. Don't know why.

What about body frame differences? Is there any such thing?

For example, I'm 5'6", 155lbs. Take ten pounds off me, I'd look fine, but I'm not chunky where I am (really, I'm not deluded). Diet me to 130lbs, the BMI-recommended weight for my height, and that's almost anorexic on me. Is this what "big-boned" means, or... I dunno, something else?

> Being fat is one of the biggest
> negatives for finding a man

Depends on the fat; depends on the man. And since when is "finding a man" what feminine life is all about? ("Universally" was the word you signed off on....)

Pushing too hard. Maybe what we got here is a rearguard marketing effort from a slender woman. It's like a rural pickup truck dealer in 1992, investing in ads to remind farmers that those newfangled SUV's aren't really that good for bailin' hay.

"Short men need to find short women"

I'm with Crid. You're pushing this a bit. I'm 5'10", DH is 5'6". And he's not rich. Work with what you've got, but don't pigeonhole yourself. Confidence is the #1 attractant.

Yes, but confidence alone isn't going to mitigate obesity. In my experience, men have some variation in their attraction to size. My bf now, for instance, has always dated women a bit heavier than what my ex finds attractive, which is basically anorexic (I once showed him a magazine article on anorexia, with photos of the emaciated girls, and he responded, "What's wrong with them? They look great to me!")

But almost no men (except for rare ones with fetishes) want a woman who is seriously overweight. It has a dramatic impact on dating prospects. When I was on Match.com and other dating sites, that seemed to be the main concern men had. They wanted to see full-length photos and know that they were recent ones.

Many men told me "horror stories" of showing up for dates and discovering the woman was, in fact, overweight...even 20 pds more than her photos showed. That is a real turn-off.

Of course, it doesn't matter if you just want to be alone, but if your ideal life includes a mate, it is a relevant issue because it seriously limits your choices.

"Many men told me "horror stories" of showing up for dates and discovering the woman was, in fact, overweight...even 20 pds more than her photos showed. That is a real turn-off. "

I wonder how many of these men have six-pack abs. I'll bet that most of them don't exactly look like their high school year book photos either.

"Many men told me "horror stories" of showing up for dates and discovering the woman was, in fact, overweight...even 20 pds more than her photos showed. That is a real turn-off. "

I wonder how many of these men have six-pack abs. I'll bet that most of them don't exactly look like their high school year book photos either.

Amy, how come you never criticize men for chunking up?

"I'm 5'10", DH is 5'6". And he's not rich"

I'm with Amy on this one. Momof3 is the exception to a very rigid rule that is about true 98% of the time. I've never met a woman who liked shorter guys, and I have had female friends from 5'0" to 6". And NONE of them would ever date shorter guys. Personally I would never date anyone shorter than me. NEVER EVER.

"I wonder how many of these men have six-pack abs. I'll bet that most of them don't exactly look like their high school year book photos either".

A few of my dates looked a bit older than their profile photos, or had less hair, or were a few inches shorter than they'd represented, but they usually weren't fatter.

On the whole, I was more often pleasantly surprised by their appearances rather than disappointed. I found that interesting. I suspect that since men don't think that much about their own visuals (just ours), they often don't have the best photos to put on a profile...whereas a woman will post her absolute best shots, even (unfortunately) if they were from 20 years and 50 pounds ago.

And I never heard one story of a guy showing up and finding a woman had misrepresented her looks or weight, only to be totally wowed by her charming personality. That just doesn't happen in real life, yet it's clearly what these women hope for.

I'm 5'4 and have NEVER dated a man under 5'9". Husband is 6' and 190. I don't expect a guy over 22 to have a six pack (Carl Haissen referred to really ripped, workout-obsessed guys as "gym pussies" in "Skinny Dip"), but extremely overweight isn't OK, either.

I'd be narrowing my dating pool quite a bit, since I am taller than the "average" man. May not be an issue for you shorties. Models frequently end up with shorter guys, although granted most of them are rich :)

On the other hand, I have no short female friends. I am eye level with all of them, or shorter than them.

"I'd be narrowing my dating pool quite a bit, since I am taller than the "average""

Reminds me of Bernie (5'2") and Slavica Ecclestone (6'2")? Also the whole argument that Crid linked to whether a woman should have a child with an ugly man. Have you guys seen their daughters? Stunning and tall like their mom.

People, please!! "lbs" is the abbrev. for pounds, and no, I don't know why this bugs me so much, except that I am an engineer.

" = inches
' = feet
# - lbs = pounds if you get lazy.

Thanks. Carry on - very interesting.

Amy, when I first read your post I thought it sounded a bit presumptuous ("eat like me and you'll be thin!") But your follow-up comment hits the nail on the head I think:

"Some people can eat lots of carbs, some people can eat some carbs, and some people can eat almost no carbs at all. You have to figure out what's right for you, what feels best, what body shape you want to have and whether it's worth it to you to do what it takes to have it."

Pretty much every diet plan out there is going to have its advocates and its critics-the key is just figuring out what's right for you. I personally could never eat the way you do because I'm a vegetarian, I dislike dairy, and I loovvee fruit. But I absolutely agree that my body feels better when I cut out starchy foods and make an effort to eat a high-protein diet.

It's interesting, but to me the fact that you have a very healthy attitude towards food and weight makes me respect you more as an advice columnist-just seems like a general sign that you're sensible and have your act together.

As far as the short guy/taller woman debate goes, I'd like to remind guys that the average height of an American woman is 5'4. So even a guy who's 5'6 has half the population to choose from. Also, a big factor for me (as a 5'7-5'8 girl), is having a guy who feels significantly bigger than me in physical presence. So a guy who's 5'9/5'10 would be fine if he's bulky and muscular (not fat!) whereas a leaner guy of the same height would probably feel too small to me. So the short guys out there might do well to bulk up with weight training (just as I'd imagine that a 5'11 woman would feel pressure to maintain a lower BMI than her 5'2 counterparts)

Agreed, Shannon.

I'm 5'10 and fairly fit (graciously curved hips, but good muscle tone). My fiance is 5'9 1/2 in shoes...but he's 195 lbs. of muscle (totally ripped). For him it's not so much vanity as the lifestyle and health (he does mixed martial arts for fun and really enjoys upping his bench press). So, even when I wear heels and get a good 3-4 inches on him, I still feel feminine next to him b/c he looks like he could pick me up and throw me over his shoulder and carry me like a caveman (and he does :-) ).

I like tall guys but height was always far less important to me than bulk (not blobs of fat) and strength. If I can break you I don't want to get with you.

I feel the same. It's not so much the height, but you want that sense that the guy has enough bulk to protect you. Frankly, I sleep a lot better at night next to my bulky, 6'2", black-belted boyfriend.

Yet, it's kinda silly, since we could just buy a gun or something. I'm sure it dates back to caveman days when, for survival, a woman wanted to be with the biggest guy with the biggest stick.

I like big sticks too, but that's whole 'nother story... :)

Defiantely agree with Shannon and Gretchen, guys. Make me feel like a woman! One of the most turned on I've been was when a former BF carried me over a mile from a bar to his dorm, because I had blisters on my feet. He just said he wanted me to know he could always take care of me, even if I broke a leg miles out in the middle of nowhere. YUM!! Being taller I'm fine with, being stronger, NO!

I'm 5'4", dh is a scant inch taller. I tower over him in heels, but if I hadn't been willing to give him a chance due to his height, I would have been missing out big time. He's the sweetest, most thoughtful, attentive, fun person I've ever been with. And so many women in his past have passed him over because of his height. Their loss :)

We all like good-looking, men and women. Amy, be honest with yourself. Would you really be with Greg if he looked like your friend that was on "Dancing With the Stars"? You know, the one I called a blob? I can deal with chunky but too much over the line is just gross and his money and personality don't make up for that either.

While I admit some guilt (even though you ask me short is sexy!), I think we are far too youth and beauty obsessed in this country. Ain't gonna change any time soon, human nature being human nature but we are nonetheless.