Unfortunately this is one of the inequalities in the world. It is just not a good idea for a single woman to isolate herself with a unknown strange man.

When I was growing up my parents watched over my sisters like a hawk, and rightfully so.
We don't live in an idealistic world, we live in the real world and there are bad people out there.
Those people in jail are not there all the time. They are in and out of the system all the time. There are always a new crop of evil people coming along all the time whether they are male or female. Moral of the story- Don't put yourself in unnecessary risky situations.

This? I have no trouble believing it.

Think about it - if you want a stream of vulnerable young women to put themselves in your path, is there a better way to do it?

Of course cockholsters like this guy aren't exactly making men look any less predatory.

I was going to say, "Cue Brian in 3... 2... 1...", but he beat me to it. I'm not sure if I buy the thesis that people are born evil and have to be socialized out of it. However, I do buy that a certain percentage of people are born evil -- or sociopaths, or whatever name you want to attach to it -- and they are not and cannot be socialized out of it. And yes, they regard something like couchsurfing.com as their personal candy store. It will attract people like "Abdelali Nachet" (can we take a guess as to his religion?). That makes it too much of a risk, even if most of the people advertising on it are honest.

BTW, why is it that people who don't live in Europe think they have a God-given right to travel in Europe for free? I've seen this in some Americans, like Europe is supposed to be some kind of Big Rock Candy Mountain. I assume that accommodations and transportation in Europe expect money for their services, same as everywhere else.

I've been lucky. I've crashed with strangers, let strangers crash with me, hitchhiked... and while I've been hit on, I haven't met any psychos.

Looking back, I'm amazed I made it through my youth in one piece! I have so many, "What the hell was I THINKing" moments.

I don't know if I was just lucky, or if it's because it was usually in the context of a "scene" where even if I didn't know the person, someone I knew did, but I was really, really, lucky.

For the record, I don't do this stuff anymore.

A site like this woman used is a predator's heaven which is a shame because it ruins the whole idea of it. The intention was good. I read about a similar sight awhile back where people offered their homes and hospitality. It sounded nice but as a woman who travels alone frequently, I'll pick the hotel, thank you very much.
I will never believe that there are more bad than good people in this world and I don't fear evil lurking on every corner, but this does not mean I do not take measures to protect myself when traveling. One happens to be safe accomodations. I am sorry for this woman and don't want to sound like I am blaming the victim, but there needs to be some responsibility when traveling, especially alone.

For the record, I don't think there is actually a greater incidence of predators, it's just that the internet has made is so much easier for them to score victims.

And when you run up the tab, someone's gonna notice.

So, like so many other problems we obsess over, it's not that it's more prevalent, just that it's more visible.

"Friends of friends and family of friends" is entirely different than an absolute stranger.

I do believe some people are born evil, I don't think its common, but for some reason there are the occasions in which someone, seems to have no other desire at all, no care for anything but themselves, and simply can't be fixed. I highly recommend Evil Genes, the book Miss Alkon mentioned awhile back, I picked it up and couldn't put it down. Fascinating read and I think, very comprehensive.

Don't sites like couchsurfing have reviews after having stayed with someone? I've neither been on nor used them before. But it seems like something like that might help a bit.

You don't have to believe there are either more good than bad people or more bad people than good people, to exercise a little common sense.

I wouldn't mind traveling and crashing at someones pad for awhile, but I look more like a brutish ox, so I don't have much to worry about. A 5'6 elfish looking woman has to exercise a little more caution, and make a point of avoiding places that are likely to draw predators. There isn't a conflict between believing people are basically good/more good than evil people in the world line, and not walking through the bad part of town in the middle of the night.

Expose yourself to danger, you will be more likely to find yourself in it.

Well folks, I'm going to be hosting my very first Couch Surfer (CS) as of today. I hadn't planned on doing so for awhile (lots of work on the go right now) but the woman in question is having a tough time finding permanent accommodations ever since she moved from Prague. So I'm going to help her out for a few weeks.

Her references on the CS site are impeccable and my intuition tells me she's a good person. Only time will tell!

I am not surprised by this. I have heard it on TV once "Pedophiles don't operate retirement homes".

Yes, most of the people out there ready to share a couch are good, honest people but it's still a great set-up for a predator. The prey come directly where you want her to go and she's from the outside of the country, it might refrain her to pressing charges. Hey, it's a sweet deal for those sadists. It's like pizza delivery.

When I travel, I want a room or a space with a lock on it. This don't make me a wuss in any way. I can stand my ground in a fight, I just can't do it when sleeping.

I am so impressed with the manliness of commenters on this blog. Brian, as we all know, is very virile and a tough guy, and now Toubrouk asserts he can "stand his ground in a fight."
Ruff!
Myself? Actually, logic dictates I can stand my ground in a fight is the attacker is roughly my equal. If the attacker is stronger or more-skilled, likely they will prevail. I can probably still beat up most smaller and less-skilled rivals.
Even the smallest punk can probably shoot me, and prevail. That is why punks like guns.
But mostly, I think blogging about one's toughness is really, really silly. It's even a cut below going to the Hillcrest County Club and talking tough.

Honestly no matter which side of the equation I would be on this seems like a scary, and possibly bad idea to me. If I'm the guest then the host/ess might do something to me. If I'm hosting then there is the chance the person I'm putting up might do something to me. These are the exact same reasons I don't hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers unless I actually know them (which pretty much limits it to inside my own hometown).

One of my biggest fears about picking up a hitchhiker (or even putting up a guest for the night) is that is something happens to them immediately after leaving my home/getting out of my car then I run the very real risk of being, "The last person to seem them alive." aka the first suspect.

I appreciate your common-sense, but even-handed approach to this, Amy.

Personally, I think that common sense would dictate that a woman should not make arrangements to "couch" with a single man, and conversely, that a single man should not agree to host a single woman. Most people would never rape, nor even think about making a false rape charge, but why take that kind of risk if you don't have to?

Of course, even following this rule would not guaranty the safety, sexual or otherwise, of a person of either gender. Especially if you are single, having any stranger into your house is eventually asking for trouble.

Nachet may be an opportunistic rapist, rather than a diligent predator. He'd apparently attempted something similar with another woman the next night, with two other people present.

This MO reminds me of the sort of thing that female friends of mine were warned about regarding the Green Tortoise bus trips back in the 90's. The danger wasn't that they'd be hunted down by a violent rapist, it was that they'd be isolated with a bunch of sleezy hippy guys who'd constantly be trying to have sex with them, and might rape them if the opportunit presented itself.

When I was younger, I would often let my friends crash on my couch. I've even let complete strangers crash. I never let someone crash who gave me a bad feeling. My rule of thumb was, if they reminded me in anyway of my bio donor, they didn't get near me. Actually, it still is my rule, and it works.

My mother would get so pissed at me. She'd tell me, NO couch people! Of course, I realize now she was right, but you couldn't have told it to me then.

Truth,

By "my bio donor" you mean your father?!

If so, wow, that is some hostility!

Ruff!

Yeah. My plan, if I am ever attacked, is to assume the fetal position and void my bladder and bowels. Hopefully my attacker isn't turned on by that sort of thing.

Common sense is all but lost to most people, it seems. When you travel, you have to take precautions, even here in the U.S. It's one thing to stay at a friend of a friend's, but couch surfing? None for me thanks, I'm drivin'. Although I could have written NicoleK's post myself - I've had a LOT of those "What was I THINKing?" moments. And, like NicoleK, I was really really lucky, too. o.O

This MO reminds me of the sort of thing that female friends of mine were warned about regarding the Green Tortoise bus trips back in the 90's.

Looks like I was onto something. Read through the comment thread on the BBS. A lot of the members are acknowledging that there's a hook-up culture in this community and that the expectation to have sex isn't at all unusual.

So this woman may have stepped into a situation that she wasn't prepared for. Or maybe she was, but didn't expect that he'd rape her when she refused.

Jay R- Yes, I do mean my "father" and no, it isn't some hostility, it's the truth. The man, if he could be called that, is a true sociopath. I won't go into what destruction he's left in his wake; This isn't the place for it.

Truth,

Sorry for your bad experience.

BTW, as I have said in other threads, anger and hostility is not always a bad thing. It can be a great motivator, and it gets attention. It can also be counter-productive and self-destructive if not controlled, and eventually diminished.

Good luck.

What's the final tally of the participants on this one?

Some people need to be suspicious of strangers. Some people don't need to be so suspicious because they're better judges of character, and have commanding personalities that repel trouble as readily as necessary.

Having a good bullshit detector doesn't mean the same thing as walking around being scared and accusatory.... It means not having to cower in the corner.

Right?

I used Couchsurfing.com and www.hospitalityclub.org to find accommodation many times as I traveled Europe several years ago.

I had amazing experiences, met interesting, open people and saved a lot of money. However, I would NEVER stay with a male host. That's just asking for trouble. I always found young women close to my age, made contact with them in advance to get a sense of them, and met them in a public place before going to their homes.

Doubtless, I could still have been victimized, but my precautions greatly reduced my risk. I am not sure I would seek accommodation this way again, though. I'm more cautious now, as well as pickier about where I lay my head at night. I guess age increases both of those things. Friends of friends are a better option, but there's risk in that too.

I still highly recommend those sites to anyone traveling--they're not just for finding accommodation, they are also great ways to meet up with locals and fellow travelers on your way. They sometimes plan events--like a reserved table in a packed tent at Oktoberfest, for instance! Ah, memories...

During five years of existence, it's the first time something like that happens in couchsurfing. This is a terrible but ISOLATED event. It is probably more dangerous to get killed riding a car in any big city then traveling like this. People get scared because the media reports isolate cases like that day and night... however, they do not report all the good things are happening every day! It's a pity.

I have traveled a lot trough Europe using couchsurfing. I use to host different people, including single women, every week and have never had any problem. If one looks at the statistics will see it's no big deal.

I do not mean we don't have to be careful with ourselves, but criticize this practice and reduce the motivation of people in participating, learning and becoming better human beings can only make things worse then they already are.

Best regards!