I suppose "lost" is appropriate when you say someone who is pregnant has "lost" the baby. (It's less blunt than saying "miscarriage.") But I'm with you. "Lost," when describing autonomous human beings means they're wandering in the wrong direction with no clue as to where they are.

My personal pet peeves are non-words, redundancies and words that have been misused so much that the common usage is now officially in the dictionary.

"Irregardless" is one such example that has made it to the dictionary. Bleah. I detest that word. The word is "regardless." "Irregardless" is a double-negative. And don't let me catch you using no double negatives! Never!

Bush had a stream of his cringe-inducing neologism "misunderestimated."

Certain misspelled words are surprisingly common on message boards such as "assinine" (the word is "asinine") and "rediculous" (it's "ridiculous").

"Factoid" has been used incorrectly for so long, that the misuse is now an official definition. Most people use it like it's a convenient, nice little fact.

It is not. Why use "factoid," when the meaning is contained in the word "fact"? A "factoid" is something asserted as fact but it happens to have a dubious origin. Not necessarily fact, but something claimed to be.

I hate the term "done" when the correct term is "finished". I hate the term "guy" when used to refer to a woman. When did these terms come into use ? Example: waiter comes to the table where my wife and I are seated. He says," Are you guys done ?"

"You guys" is a midwesternism -- or a suburban Michigan-ism, at least. I heard it constantly growing up. I sometimes slip and use it, but I hate when I do.

How about "you'se guys"? Good ole Joe Pesci. I still crack up every time I think of Fred Gwynne asking what a "yute" is.

""You guys" is a midwesternism -- or a suburban Michigan-ism, at least. I heard it constantly growing up. I sometimes slip and use it, but I hate when I do."

It's pretty common up here in the PNW as well. It bothers me not, but I'm not a woman. I'll have to ask around and see if it bugs my female friends.

I hate "impact" for "affect", and "less" instead of "fewer". And I really have a hard spot in my heart for Automatic Teller Machine Machine (ATM Machine).

I think you need to make as many allowances as absolutely possible for that things that get said when people die. And that includes any number of habitual expressions from civilization's religious heritage. No matter how proud you or I might be of our rationality and thoughtful balloon-popping, their are hours when it is simply not about us... The feelings of people in deep grief will not be made better or more enlightening by the expression of our peeves. In such an hour, if you're still feeling peeves, you're not the one the services are meant to console.

(Furthermore, it's been my experience that when people die, there's always one person surrounding the cortege who says something just spectacularly, Olympically weird. Two challenges: #1– Try not to be that person. #2– Forgive them instantly.)

(#2 is more important: Never panic, even if you're the guy who says something stupid.)

And get this part too: The truth is that a lot of the older expressions about death and similar life challenges cannot be improved upon. Science has come up with nothing better than "lost to me" to express what happens to a man's heart when his wife dies.

That sounded rather compassionate. So, who the hell are you, and what have you done with the read Crid?

I think better usage for the word lost might be along the lines of, "have we lost Crid?" or "has Crid lost that huge chunk of ice surrounding his heart?" or even, "Crid has lost his nasty little edge." Is this the new Crid on Prozac? I'm starting to feel a little lost!

I don't like you guys, either. Clear?

dunno Amy, when someone dies, you lose them, don't you? From that time forward they are "lost" to you. It's a way of saying that someone very important in you life is gone, and can never be there again. The dead can't speak for themselves, so we speak in terms of how we related to them...

Looks like Crid's been on this road before, we all will be sometime. Heh, we will also be "Late" and if we are loved, "lamented" and possibly lost.

Oh, calm down, Crid. We're just having some fun with you. Acquire a thicker skin already.

Lotta good jokes, though.

I am not religious, but have friends and clients who are very devout. I sometimes find myself stumbling upon my words, trying to offend as little as possible. To me, when someone's life is over, that person is "dead", but when the topic comes up around the religious people in my life, I am careful to say "passed" or "passed on". It feels awkward, but it's my way of respecting people who are important to me. It's just not that big a deal.

Of all the men in the world who might offer suggestions about dermal density, I hear from Twitchy Patrick....

Also, I prefer the crotchety Crid, but it's nice to get a peek at his softie side once in a while. Just don't overdo it, dude.

Have faith, Marina.

Y'know, the theme is HUMILITY. It pisses me off when ninny-minded goofballs chat in casual anonymity about how every problem in life can be overpowered by their own superlogical force of will. Gays in the military! Kids don't need parents! Stupid language for dead people!....

Look, if you guys continue to be so broad-minded, we're never going to have any rewarding fisticuffs in here....

Seriously, Amy's not wrong. A Carlin-esque ear for evasive wordings is an important chore for responsible citizenship in our culture of accelerated electronic media.

I'm just sayin', the funeral parlor is the one corner of life where modernity can't really improve things. The church can be improved, the classroom can be improved, the workplace can be improved, and notwithstanding the adjacent thread, even the platoon can be improved. But the graveyard? Nope.

I don't like:

Waitresses who ask "How's that tastin' to ya?"

Made-up advertising names as in Uncrustables, or any other item with -ables or -icious added to it.

When anyone says: "The thing is, is..." That second, unnecessary "is" makes me crazy.

Funny, combined real words as in "fugly", "ginormous" or "guesstimate" don't bother me as much.

AS for the term lost, I can't remember if Carlin ever did a riff on the term. Too bad we lost him. I think he'd say something like "You lost him? Where was the last place you saw him?"

Wait..he did that two-minute warning thing. I gotta go check my albums.

Pricklypear writes: Waitresses who ask "How's that tastin' to ya?"

Sounds like something you should be asking the waitress. That is if she's the head waitress.

(Sorry, dirty mind kicked in.)

I don't like non-standard adjectives made out of nouns. There's no such word as "chocolatey."

I was once a caregiver for an elderly couple and served them some ready-made lemon pepper chicken, of which he complained, "It wasn't lemony or peppery enough."

Ugh.

Go abuse another language and forget you know English already.

Oh thanks, Patrick. Now I got that dirty movie music in my head, sharing space with the waitress in the "I'm Special" video. Trying to not use mah, mah, mah imagination...

The non-word chocolatey at least has meaning for me. It means there's no chocolate involved.

I hate the present-day use of the word "absolutely." These days it is often used in place of the word "yes."

Use your noodle refers to your brain which was thought to look like noodles.

Growing up there was an elder lady who was probably suffering from dementia who would at times look for her husband who had died years earlier. As kids we thought it was funnny.

My current favorite word to hate is "amazing". It's become a meaningless filler. Rather than illustrating the actual properties of the thing being described, it really just shows the limits of a person's vocabulary. I especially abhor this word when it's used in conjuction with the heaven-gazing eye roll.

The Hebrew equivalent of "late" literally translates as "at rest".... sort of an abstract/timeless verb form of the root for "repose".

We Jews do death correctly. Secular American society is scared @#$-less of death, and therefore does not give the dead or the survivors sufficient time and respect.

I once worked with a rabidly anti-religious woman here in Israel. One of the things she remembered from an extended stay in the US was the lack of a "shiva" (week of mourning) upon the death of a relative. Here it is understood, and most employers don't even deduct vacation time.

"It's not just that the mourner needs that time," she said, "but a person lived among us. Those who knew him/her can take a week to mark that life."

Very interesting as she was a flinty Stalinist in most other areas...

Sez Ms. Alkon, "'You guys' is a midwesternism -- or a suburban Michigan-ism, at least."

Sounds about right. I remember hearing that sort of thing up in northern Indiana when I was in college, along with words like "warsh" in place of "wash."

Sez Nick: "I hate the term 'done' when the correct term is 'finished.'"

So did my ninth grade English teacher in Ohio. If you told her you were done, she'd say, "Really? How long did you bake?"

I've gone to more than one funeral where I've walked through the receiving line saying

"I'm sorry for your loss."

It is a euphemism, but it is much more kind hearted than saying,

"Now that your family member has quit breathing and his/her heart stopped, and the bodily fluids were replaced with embalming liquid, you can descend the casket into the ground where the body will decompose and fungus and worms will consume it. The dehydration process will make it look like the hair and nails will continue to grow, but don't worry, he/she's surely dead by now. Sleep tight! Here's a ham."

If I hear that someone had a friend or relative die and I'm not close enough to attend the funeral, I will usually just say,

"I heard your [insert title here] died. I'm sorry."

My language pet peeve is adults females being called 'girls'. I rarely hear adult males being called 'boys', why aren't women given the same consideration of being addressed by their gender's adult title?

-Julie

My language pet peeve is adults females being called 'girls'. I rarely hear adult males being called 'boys', why aren't women given the same consideration of being addressed by their gender's adult title?

Eh, I think this goes both ways. I often hear "boys will be boys" and "going out with the boys" in reference to men.

Eh, I think this goes both ways. I often hear "boys will be boys" and "going out with the boys" in reference to men.

Maybe...and much of language is regional. However, although I hear those phrases in regular dialog, I'll listen to radio morning shows and men are regularly referred to as men, women are always called girls. I know it is petty, but aren't all pet peeves? :-)

-Julie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PiZSFIVFiU

@Julie: "I know it is petty, but aren't all pet peeves?"

I've heard pettier. Calling adults boys or girls is a diminuation after all, even if nothing's meant by it.

My other pet peeve is the use of "like" or "all" when recounting conversations. My youngest daughter will be off on a tear: "I was like, let's just get this done, but Liz was all, we need to check with the teacher and I'm like, we don't have time for that --"

I interrupt: "Were you like that, or did you say that?"

"I said that, Daddy." Then comes the eyeroll, and if she bothered mentioning the incident to her friends later, I'm sure she'd be saying, "And I was like, shut the hell up, Daddy..."

My other pet peeve is the use of "like" or "all" when recounting conversations.

I believe most young people pass through that period of linguistic ugliness. I know I did, and it irritates the crap out of me now. I suspect that your daughter will mature out of it as well!

Thanks for the backup!

Julie

It's bad enough that a mixed-sex group gets routinely referred to as "guys."

However, I also dislike the expression "guys and girls." Not only does it sound to me like an expression used by semi-literate characters in a 1940s gangster movie (even though I belong to Generation X), but it also implies, I think, that boys shouldn't have to grow up and girls aren't allowed to grow up.

If I had children, I would gently correct them and remind them to say, instead, "girls and boys," "men and women," or, as the case may be, "ladies and gentlemen," just as I'd responsibly correct them when their grammar is bad, as in "ain't." It's all about not sounding like a lazy slob when talking. After all, kids can't get into the habit of speaking eloquently if they aren't made to practice at home, at least.

Imagine, being able to watch the mental literacy of the general population grow again!

Of course, the parents and teachers would have to struggle to watch their mouths too, given the informality of adults these days.

Oh, BTW, with regard to foul language, I suspect that one reason so many kids love to curse is that while parents are right to react negatively, they get too hysterical about it. That is, if kids don't listen when parents say gently "you stop that and apologize, we don't talk like that in this house," the next step is not to yell, but simply to impose, quietly, some penalty - maybe even hours later. That way, at least, the kids realize that they don't get to make the rules.

Also, it's interesting - in the 1950s juvenile books about preteen Rupert Piper by Ethelyn Parkinson, it's considered impolite, when addressing a teacher, to say "guys" when you mean "boys."

(Those books, which focus heavily on preteen 1950s battles of the sexes, are pretty funny and surreal at times; they get rave reviews at Amazon.)

I hate it when people say "anyways" or anywho There isn't an "s" at the end and anywho isn't a word at all. Drives me bonkers!!!!!

Also, I love using the word awesome in its correct form: awe inspiring. Most people use it in the sterotypical surfer dude type manner, but I use it to depict gloriousness or gruesomeness depending upon the situation. Whenever I am greatly taken aback.

The last major pet peeve is a pronunciation issue. I too hate the word "warsh" but most recently I have noticed that the popularity of pronouncing the word "else" has become "elts." There isn't a t.

Speaking of "warsh": In one Parkinson book, as I mentioned just above, the boys - who presumably live in Wisconsin - can't pronounce "petunia" correctly. They keep saying "pertunia."

And, according to one language-focused ng, "warsh," at least, is not uncommon in that general area of the U.S.