Free Health Care For Illegal Immigrants!
Get yours today! It's the rare Internet forward I'll ever blog or even do more than groan as I erase it, but this letter, supposedly to President Obama, is an exception:
Dear Mr. President:I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services and be able to vote.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $ 4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico .I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.....
Thank you so much for your kind help.
You're the man!!!
Immigration law enforcement, anyone?
Terrific letter, although I have my doubts about some of those services being offered here.
I'm also a little fed up with the conservative contingent treating immigration as if only the Democrats supported rights for illegals. Let's not forget that the previous Dipshit-in-Chief stated that he will not sign any anti-immigration bill that doesn't give amnesty to the ones already here.
Don't imagine that Republicans are anti-immigration. On the immigration issue, both political parties have sold us out.
Patrick at November 30, 2009 2:21 AM
Roger that, Patrick. Democrats have sold us out for votes, Republicans for cheap labor.
Conservatives also get a bad rap from the left for being "anti-immigration". They are not. They are anti-illegal immigration. They want to control borders first, realizing that a country cannot have control over anything inside of it, if it doesn't first have control of its borders.
I am conservative on most things, but am willing to consider amnesty and a defined road to citizenship for anyone already here (unlike most conservatives I'm familiar with). But NOT until the borders are closed and we regain control of who gets in.
cpabroker at November 30, 2009 5:26 AM
"am willing to consider amnesty"
Of course, just a one-time amnesty. The only thing is: I remember the last time we went through this about 25 years ago. Too many illegal immigrants, kids have gone to school here, etc, etc. Just a one-time amnesty, then we would enforce the immigration laws.
We few naysayers said: no way, give amnesty once and you give a huge incentive to the next wave of illegals. Next time it won't be 2.5 million but many, many more.
Sure enough: here we are a generation later, talking about a one-time amnesty for ten times the number of illegals. Give the amnesty, the borders still won't be closed, and in 20 years you'll have 50 million or 100 million illegals.
Either that, or just give in and form the North American Union. Be done with the pretense and just open the borders entirely.
bradley13 at November 30, 2009 6:05 AM
We already had our one time amnesty. Fool me once, shame on you...
MarkD at November 30, 2009 6:10 AM
That's why I set a precondition of closing the borders and showing a real commitment to maintaining their integrity, before discussing amnesty. I am aware of what happened in 1986, and the result since then. I don't want to repeat it.
For the most part, folks who have risked considerably to make the trip up from Mexico to find a better condition are some of the hardest working people we have. While I don't believe that they do the jobs Americans won't do, I do believe they do the jobs Americans won't do as cheaply.
I am also bothered by the implied social compact we've made with these people by looking the other way as they've streamed in for all these years. We've in effect said to them: "Go ahead, leave your former lives, come here, we'll accept you." Having done that all those years, it'd be morally wrong (and most likely a humanitarian tragedy), in my view, to simply deport them all, as some would like to see.
There are ways to absorb them into our society (these involve requiring fluency in English and a working knowledge of and appreciation of our institutions), but not before the borders are secured, once and for all.
cpabroker at November 30, 2009 6:32 AM
I know this sounds odd, but maybe it wasn't such a bad thing when people coming through Ellis island were given new, American-sounding names. It unites people, and then you can't tell where someone is from just by their name. It makes them American.
NicoleK at November 30, 2009 6:35 AM
>>I know this sounds odd, but maybe it wasn't such a bad thing when people coming through Ellis island were given new, American-sounding names.
Hold your horses, NicoleK!
"A common misconception is that in the past when an immigrant to the US arrived on Ellis Island, the clerk at the registration office often changed a name, from Kwiatkovski to Kay, for example. While stories of renaming at the port of entry are mostly myths, many names were later anglicized, such as Pedersen becoming Peterson."
The article (at the link below) explains professional research shows the majority of name changes happened after Ellis Island entry, mostly when the immigrants themselves were trying to blend into their new lives.
http://www.ancestry.com/learn/library/article.aspx?article=3893
Jody Tresidder at November 30, 2009 6:59 AM
Actually, we've already had "one-time amnesty" twice. The first time was in the '60s.
Most of the legal immigrants that I've met aren't any happier about illegal immigration than the rest of us are. In fact, a lot of them feel like chumps for having gone the (very difficult) legal route. One thing I'd like to see done is to remove most of the artificial quotas on legal immigration, in conjunction with a real crackdown on illegal immigration. (An aside: Most of those artificial quotas are there because of Teddy Kennedy, who pretty much treated immigration policy as his personal playground.) We also need to eliminate rules that allow "chain migration". A person who receives a visa can bring a spouse and minor children. Everyone else needs to get their own visas. I'd be in favor of a Constitutional amendment that eliminates automatic citizenship for babies born in the U.S. to persons who have entered illegally.
Oh, and the bit that Amy quoted left out the parts about road signs and business signs and having legal rights explained.
Cousin Dave at November 30, 2009 7:18 AM
Oh. Hmm. Well, it still isnt a bad idea!
NicoleK at November 30, 2009 10:05 AM
>>Oh. Hmm. Well, it still isnt a bad idea!
Absolutely, NicoleK.
After all, I had to change my immigrant surname to "Tresidder" from "TremendouslyAnnoyingBritWhoLoathesPalinAndTallksLikeACommieLiberal" in order to blend in here.
And it's worked a treat!
Jody Tresidder at November 30, 2009 10:23 AM
The citizen-if-born-here law HAS to change for babies born to people here illegally. In fact, the actual wording of the Constitution is qualified and indicates that this was the original intent.
Jay R at November 30, 2009 12:06 PM
Amnesty is the easy way out for Politicians with ever the eye on the next election and all the potential voters that illegals represent, and, the PC police will be besides themselves because of the racial profiling needed to eject the lawbreakers. Besides, do you really think Mexico could actually handle 20 million repatriates with their economy.
jksisco at November 30, 2009 12:09 PM
And I want my children to attend the Mexican equivalent of the new downtown Los Angeles arts school. While in school, they will curse Mexico and refuse to stand while that country's Pledge of Allegiance is said every morning.
Pasadena at November 30, 2009 3:37 PM
You all make great arguments for stemming the unwelcome tide of illegals... but are you writing your government representatives and as a voter, making your preferences crystal clear? Are you duplicating your efforts, asking friends and relatives who feel as you do, to follow your lead? Nothing good will happen and things will not *change* (there's that magic word), unless we the people, we taxpayers, those of us who are funding this out of control mess, organize a concerted effort and let our government officials know that enough is friggin' enough.
DistanceRider at November 30, 2009 4:33 PM
I would argue for closing the border. Then doing sweeps for illegals. When they are caught isssuing a "gray" card. It gives them them the right to work in the US, but they have to show a "pattern" of employment that needs to be proven on a regular basis. (Every month, every 2, etc.).
If they do it for three year period they are issued a regular visa.
It forces them to be legal.
Jim P. at November 30, 2009 7:47 PM
Alkon says she is no schlub, and never will be.
So, I wonder who cleans her apartment? I am sure it is an entirely legal US citizen, who also gets paid Social Security and other benefits by Alkon.
No way ever would an illegal immigrant be cleaning Alkon's toilets, while Alkon tests the best in cafe society.
No more rude people! Shut up you illegal immigrants, and clean those toilets!
Alkon cleans her own toilet? Scrubs under the stove? Puts Presto-Cleano on the tub ring? Fixes her car?
Interesting topic.
The Big Sphincter in the Sky at November 30, 2009 9:45 PM
Daily Show just did a segment profiling a retired couple who fled for the border, and are "living in the shadows" of Mexican society. hilarious.
Biscuit at November 30, 2009 10:04 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/11/30/free_health_car.html#comment-1679924">comment from The Big Sphincter in the SkyNo way ever would an illegal immigrant be cleaning Alkon's toilets
That is correct. When I did have a person cleaning, she was a US citizen.
Things are tough now in newspapers, so I don't have a cleaning person anymore.
I think there should be penalties for hiring illegal immigrants, and our immigration laws should be enforced.
I take my car to the Honda Dealer for service, and to Via Marina Unocal to check my tires and under the hood. They're lovely. I tip 'em $5 or 6, and pay for whatever the car needs.
You don't pay Social Security or other benefits for part-time employees. I pay my own, and so would an employee who works for an hour or two every few weeks.
Amy Alkon at November 30, 2009 10:16 PM
Actually, employers of household employees do have tax and filing obligations. See:
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc756.html
An excerpt:
Social Security and Medicare Taxes (Federal Insurance Contributions Act — FICA)
If you pay a household employee cash wages of more than the amount specified by law in a tax year ($1,600 for 2008; $1,500 for 2007 and 2006), you generally must withhold social security and Medicare taxes from all cash wages you pay to that employee. (Cash wages include wages you pay by check or money order.) Unless you prefer to pay your employee's share of social security and Medicare taxes from your own funds, you should withhold 7.65 percent from each payment of cash wages. The specified dollar amount and percentages can be found under the topic "Do You Need To Pay Employment Taxes?" in Publication 926 (PDF).
Fianza at November 30, 2009 10:37 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/11/30/free_health_car.html#comment-1679928">comment from FianzaThanks, Fianza, but I didn't pay that amount.
Amy Alkon at November 30, 2009 10:48 PM
Actually, as we complain about illegals, we can't help but benefit.
Eat in any Westside restaurant. Who is bussing tables and washing dishes?
Who cleans office buildings at night?
In truth, West L.A. floats on top of a pool of illegal immigrant labor.
I am glad to know you are scrubbing your own toilets, and putting on the Presto-Cleano on your tub rings. Do you get the dust bunnies with the vac?
And you say you are not a schlub.
You should change your blog name to "The Schlub Goddess"
MSITS at December 1, 2009 10:07 AM
Yeah MSITs, because there aren't any ACTUAL CITIZENS willing to work.
God forbid we should hire teenagers to bus tables & clean offices.
With or without them, the work would get done.
The only REAL benefit we have from illegal immigration is farm labor, but that said, its easy enough to grant say a "summer visa" for such laborers, which protects them from potential abuses via the fact that they are "Legal" temporarily and can make complaints without fear of deportation, and still provides us with relatively cheap agricultural products.
Robert at December 1, 2009 6:13 PM
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