Oh, The Strain Of It All
I'm feeling rather irritated about having to write this back to an adult woman who e-mailed me for advice:
Note: Please respond COMPREHENSIVELY, and take that extra millisecond to use actual punctuation marks and hit that shift key at the beginning of each sentence. You're getting free advice. Maybe make a little effort? Yes, this means you'll need to capitalize that "i." I'm not your 10-year-old, Hello Kitty-wearing friend.
Gregg got me an iPhone and put me on his plan for two years (very sweet!), and it's a really good deal, this family plan thing. I think it costs close to what I was paying for my phone alone. (Then again, it's not like I'm sitting in public places, yammering on my cell.) If you have somebody in your life you really, really trust never to do dastardly things to you, you might consider bill-sharing.
Rather amusingly, when I was shutting off my old phone and going on Gregg's plan, the woman at ATT had to ask me a whole line of questions. I told her not to bother, that whatever Gregg would do was fine with me; he always has my best interest at heart. She said, no, she had to ask me every question. Yeah, whatever -- I get it. People write to me every day about the sort of partners your company has to legally protect itself from.
And yes, there really was a point when I started writing this blog item. Oh yeah -- Gregg text each other a lot now. It's really fun and romantic and convenient. I sometimes just text to say I've arrived safely, and he kept giving me updates about his plane, and then the next plane they put him on after his first plane just sat there like a big egg on the tarmac in Detroit.
About texting, what I don't do is let myself get sloppy -- spell words wrong and go punctuation-free -- because I don't want it to affect my writing. And if I ever write an e-mail like the one this chick wrote me -- well, somebody take my computers away for a year and give me a stack of legal pads and a quill pen.
I'm not the best typist in the world. But I do make the effort to make sure what I write is comprehensible, which means that the most frequently tapped key in my life is often the backspace key. I still make mistakes that I don't catch before I hit the post button. But I can be pretty forgiving if someone tries.
if you type like this then i don't care to hear what you have to say i don't like run on sentences i can probably decipher the intent and mentally insert the punctuation i need i shouldn't have to though
And if you're using one of those programs ThAt MaKe YoU tYpE lIkE tHiS, i LoAtHe YoU aNd WaNt YoU tO gO sOmEpLaCe FaR fRoM mE...like Nix (one of Pluto's three moons).
Patrick at December 29, 2009 11:46 PM
My sister's emails all look like that, they run on forever, with no punctuation.
crella at December 30, 2009 2:03 AM
Oh yeah -- Gregg text each other a lot now. It's really fun and romantic and convenient.
Beloved and I never got into texting. We exchange lots of email and phone calls, but not text. Doesn't sound romantic to me and we always call when we arrived safely, usually getting the other's voice mail :(
Suki at December 30, 2009 3:04 AM
When I got my last phone, I made sure I got the kind that opened up to reveal a little keyboard. It's an LG Something-or-Other. It makes texting a lot easier, and I always try to use the King's English when I do it.
old rpm daddy at December 30, 2009 3:59 AM
Don't we get to see the email message?
KarenW at December 30, 2009 5:34 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/12/30/oh_the_strain_o.html#comment-1685482">comment from KarenWYou probably will when it becomes a column. Rest of it, anyway!
Amy Alkon at December 30, 2009 5:55 AM
I'm a big fan of the iPhone - and not for the least reason is the AutoCorrect for texting. I know other phone companies make fun of it, but I like the way it helps to capitalize, finish long words, and makes it easy to use punctuation. On my last phone, I had to hit a key more than 9 times for anything that wasn't a period!
A neat trick, if you didn't already know: If you space twice after a word, it'll automatically insert a period and capitalize the next word you type! Time-saver, woot!
cornerdemon at December 30, 2009 6:21 AM
About texting, what I don't do is let myself get sloppy -- spell words wrong and go punctuation-free...
Thankfully both of my daughters are the same way, as am I. Not so most of their friends, though! Both girls have complained to me about their friends' abbreviated spelling and substituting numbers for letters, like L8 for 'late' and such. Bothers them (and me) to no end!
Flynne at December 30, 2009 6:26 AM
Welcome to the ip-hone world Amy! I love mine to the point I regularly pull it out to answer via Google a question that's arisen in conversation (latest iteration: Jackie Chan is 55 years old) and since I have a friend who loves to text, I plumped for a messaging plan addition to my basic service. I'm glad I did.
I look forward to your telling us of apps you find that make your life easier. I got a dictation app that lets me speak my texts and e-mails. It's not perfect but it's pretty darn accurate. Saves ty[ing time too.
BlogDog at December 30, 2009 7:24 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/12/30/oh_the_strain_o.html#comment-1685501">comment from BlogDogDragon seems great. Also, I have Google voice. Gregg is really the maestro in this area. What's great about not being all feministy-defensive is that I can just let Gregg handle things that Gregg will handle much better than I do. And there are quite a few of them, since I'm good at about five things: dressing, eating, writing, human nature, and selling things. Beyond that, well, ask somebody else.
For example, I have rather elastic notions about the constraints of the time-space continuum, so when people are trying to get me somewhere, like to Portland and Toronto for book stuff next week, or figure out what day and what flight to the Tucson Book Fest, I either ask Gregg or tell the travel agent, "Here, here's my boyfriend's phone number and e-mail address..." and tell them to go with whatever time/date he thinks is best.
Amy Alkon at December 30, 2009 7:35 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/12/30/oh_the_strain_o.html#comment-1685503">comment from Amy AlkonOh, and Facebook, which I loathe to pieces, is much less annoying on the iPhone.
Note to the universe: I get e-mail for a living. If you want to contact me, please do it by e-mail, which I can at least answer quickly. Facebook is slow and annoying, and typing there is sometimes about as easy as hammering the words out with a chisel.
Yesterday, somebody -- a journalism prof who HAS my e-mail address -- sent me a message on Facebook, asking for help. Grrr. Sign in, find the fucking thing, etc., etc., no, can't find the fucking thing, write prof at her site address with info@ in front of it and hope it gets to her. Grrr.
Also hate evites. Send me a fucking e-mail and I'll write back and tell you I'm coming. And I'll send you a cool thank you postcard in the mail afterward for having me -- probably one of the antique ones I buy on eBay, because it's like a little gift to get one. When I sent Elmore one of these -- probably a card from the 20s -- he loved it. He said it looked like something that got lost in the mail for a century.
PS You can get these cards in "lots" on eBay, but be careful and see that they're mostly unwritten on. It kind of kills it to have to cover that up on the back -- I don't do it. And by the way, the cost of these cards, if you buy carefully, is lots less than the cost of sending a greeting card or a note on nice stationery, and they are uber-cool.
And no, I do not go to a party without sending a thank you note afterward, and certainly not a dinner!
Amy Alkon at December 30, 2009 7:40 AM
It's the people who scream at you in all capital letters that bother me. I can't bring myself to even read the things, let alone take them seriously.
Pricklypear at December 30, 2009 7:51 AM
I don't text or IM, but I don't think it's a problem to learn net-speak.
Electronic English is an addition to spoken and written English, not a substitute. Texting "lol" isn't going to ruin your ability to write formally, but I see where you're coming from, Amy.
It really does bother me when people use net-speak in email, because email is not IMing or texting. I expect full sentences in email, but I wouldn't in a text.
Maybe you should read a couple pages of Shakespeare every time you write "brb" or "lmao." That would probably keep it all balanced out.
Tyler at December 30, 2009 7:54 AM
Texting is fantastic. My daughter and I do it all the time for little things like safe arrival or time to pick up. I, too, try to use proper grammar and punctuation, and what helps me a lot is the word complete keyboards so it doesn't take as long. She texts for nearly everything, and I can't even begin to say how much money that saves in phone plan minutes. We are on the lowest amount Verizon offers, and still don't come close to using them all; unlimited texting is five dollars a month.
Facebook is definitely not meant for getting the job done. Also, Facebook recently unilaterally reset its users' privacy to "nonexistent", and it took quite a bit of positive time and effort to get past all their snotty "Are you sure you want to do this, we only have your best interests at heart" messages to change the settings back. My daughter's posts and photographs were publicly searchable by Google (or any other search engine)! Yes, Facebook, I'm absolutely sure I don't want every Tom, Dick, and Harry to have access to her 15-year-old thoughts.
Patrick, do you mean to say people use that script on PURPOSE? I though they were just morons.
Robin at December 30, 2009 7:58 AM
I don't agree that "net-speak" is only an addition to the language. I can't tell you how scummy I thought it was that Ashton Kutcher tweeted (don't even get me started about how stupid and pointless that is) about his ex-girlfriends death, and couldn't even be bothered to spell "are" and "you", among other lame, pre-adolescent abbreviations. Yes, I know it's even more offensive that he used someone's death to try and get people to notice him, but the abbreviations were icing on the offensiveness cake.
Robin at December 30, 2009 8:04 AM
I became a big fan of texting. Its easier when I'm out and want to check on my kids. Rather than have to step outside to make a call that isn't always answered immediately, get off a line, or disturb those around me, I send a quick text to them just to check in. They laugh at my grammatically correct sentences and the fact that I don't always understand their abbreviations, but we make it work. I would never send an invite or thank you through a text or facebook, but its nice to send a quick thought to a friend when I don't have time for the call.
Kristen at December 30, 2009 8:21 AM
Postrel was whining about this last night, too.
People are being clear or they aren't. Y'all shouldn'ts be tryin' to roll through life like a heaving herd of schoolmarms. If you wanna spend your lives reading Proust instead of your cell phone screen, no one will stop you.
Lujlp pisses me off though. He's virtually unreadable....
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 8:31 AM
Seriously: Were you looking to Ashton Kutcher for elegant expression? The guy who gave us Punk'd?
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 8:33 AM
No expression at all would have been preferable. Barring that, the use of actual words. I had no expectations, pro or con, of him, but once he inflicts himself into my world, I feel free to express my opinion of that infliction, particularly in the context of a discussion on rude (or worse) electronic behavior. I haven't seen Punk'd, and hope never to do so. I know he's married to an older woman who has lately taken to threatening lawsuits against people who comment on her looks, so perhaps that sense of having the right to control the thoughts of the whole world has rubbed off on him.
Robin at December 30, 2009 8:46 AM
Jeez, where to start with your grammar?
It is terrible--you are sloppy on your blog, let alone texting. I won't even bother with the excessive use of coarse language.
Example: It is not "spell words wrong." It is "spell words incorrectly."
Big Weenie at December 30, 2009 8:56 AM
Ah dunno, Robbers... You have to reach out into the Tweetosphere to harvest that Ashtonian (Kutcherian?) voodoo... He doesn't just squirt it at us unbidden. If you don't like the water, don't go to the well.
Me, I loves the internets, as much for the ugly stuff as for the pretty. The whole miracle of the thing, including blogs, is that they encourage communication by people who used to be made to feel that their beliefs weren't worth sharing.
The internet is more like that real world than anything before it. It's not about delicacy and couth.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 8:57 AM
I didn't find it on Twitter, which it do find boring and pointless. It called out to me from Radar Online or WWTDD. I love the ugly stuff, too, then I like to comment on how ugly it is!
Robin at December 30, 2009 9:05 AM
Speaking of the ugly, this is too beautiful to pass up from WWTDD.COM. He's making one of those top 100 lists. Part of the beauty is that there are only 5. Here's one:
99. MICHAEL JACKSON DIED - This one should probably be higher on the list but fuck that dude. He was a pedophile and his music sucked. Good riddance weirdo.
Robin at December 30, 2009 9:12 AM
Amy, if you just got an iPhone, I highly recommend using the mobile version of iGoogle. It's not an app - just go to google.com/ig in Safari and sign in. It puts all of your news, RSS feeds, mail (if you use gmail), and all your other Google stuff in a form that reads well on your phone and loads quickly.
Texting is useful, but know your audience. Don't hit up your boss with WTF d00d?
Whatever at December 30, 2009 9:57 AM
> I love the ugly stuff, too, then
> I like to comment on how ugly it is!
You are my kinda blog commenter!
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 10:42 AM
@ Robin
IIRC Ashton used exactly 140 characters (which is the maximum) for his Twitter acknowledgment of Brittany Murphy's death. At that point you're shaving off characters wherever you can to make the message legible. Also, there's no indication that he did this in place of offering private and personal condolences to her family.
It's not the death of the english language, it's just another form of literacy. It is however, key to know which 'language' to use where. In formal correspondence like email, full sentences and good grammar are proper. In twitter and texting, compressing ur mssg 2 th least chars needd 4 undrstndng is often better. The language needed changes with the medium used.
Elle at December 30, 2009 10:43 AM
I grasp the tedious nuances of Twitter. I just don't grasp the need to tweet death condolences.
Robin at December 30, 2009 10:53 AM
Point taken, but a guy like that would have been called oblivious for not responding.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 11:11 AM
Lujlp pisses me off though. He's virtually unreadable....
Posted by: Crid
Hey at least I try, I'd use spell check but given the particular way I misspell the spell checker cant figure me out either.
lujlp at December 30, 2009 12:00 PM
That's true, Crid. Most people like that have their publicists release a statement. That method also mitigates (but doesn't altogether prevent) the possibility of sounding like an asshole.
I was mostly responding to Elle's comment, though, that I failed to take into account the limitations of Twitter.
Robin at December 30, 2009 12:06 PM
> Hey at least I try
I resent you because I so often understand what you're getting at anyway.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 12:20 PM
Use of abbreviations in text messages makes sense. They compress
the message and thus improve bandwidth use. This has a long
history. Ham radio operators using morse code also had a
commonly-used set of shortcuts to speed things up. One
difference was that numbers were rarely used, as they're longer
and slower than any alpha character. See, for instance,
http://www.ac6v.com/morseaids.htm
Ron at December 30, 2009 1:47 PM
Is there a reason I should start caring about bandwidth use?
Robin at December 30, 2009 2:48 PM
I enjoy my Facebook for the most part. I find that a the most common complaint about it is greatly exaggerated. I've heard that you're subjected to the minutiae of everyone's personal life, but I find that's not really the case. No one seems the need to tell me, "Went to the bathroom at 7:23 today and discovered that pumpkin pie turns my shit bright green."
The only thing I don't like about it is the games. I don't play any of them, but some of my friends are heavily into them. Which is fine. One person has serious health issues and internet games are one of the few things he can do while he's housebound. But would just as soon not have people invite me to play along with them. Of course, I can refuse, but I'd rather not risk disappointing someone. I'd like to have my profile marked, so people will know in advance that I don't care to play the Facebook games.
Patrick at December 30, 2009 3:09 PM
> Is there a reason I should start
> caring about bandwidth use?
Exactly. Amy has always given me, a total stranger, enough disk space to dig my own (generously-proportioned) grave.
In Australia a few years ago there was a popular live political talk show called "Enough Rope".
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 30, 2009 3:15 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/12/30/oh_the_strain_o.html#comment-1685607">comment from RobinIs there a reason I should start caring about bandwidth use?
Only about getting thousands more to come here and take some up. That's my concern. Use! Use!
Amy Alkon at December 30, 2009 4:10 PM
I don't have a facebook, myspace or linkedin presence. I do have "unpublished" presences at a bunch of tech sites.
I will not have a twitter presence, especially after someone came up with a device to tweet when you fart in your office chair.
I do use the texting shorthand for text messages. Otherwise, I type it out as appropriate, no matter how painful. This is being typed on a Palm Treo 750 cell phone using Opera.
Jim P. at December 30, 2009 4:46 PM
Re: bandwidth use
For a text message, you're trying to get it to fit in what, 160
characters? There's real incentive to fit your entire missive into one
send, as there may be a charge per message on each side.
Ron at December 30, 2009 7:02 PM
Blast, came to find a terrain map of Chickamauga, and here I am at Amy's again!
Five dollars per month/unlimited texting/both phone numbers. Never heard of a character limit. Includes photos. That's an incentive, alright, to text at will.
Robin at December 30, 2009 7:53 PM
Amy,
I'm still feeling terrible about that time late in November when I told you via my iPhone that I would "mail to you" the Macleans magazine featuring the article about your book.
Unfortunately the "u" is right beside the "i" on that tiny iPhone keyboard so I accidentally wrote something to the effect of: "I will maul you tomorrow!"
YIKES!!!
When it comes to regular e-mails though, I do try to proofread each & every one.
Robert
Robert W. (Vancouver) at December 31, 2009 12:14 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2009/12/30/oh_the_strain_o.html#comment-1685642">comment from Robert W. (Vancouver)That was hilarious!
Amy Alkon at December 31, 2009 1:09 AM
@ Robin
The way text messaging works is that it sends in batches of 160 characters. If it is over 160, you are actually sending multiple text messages. Hopefully your recipient gets the sections quick enough they don't notice.
Also note that you may have unlimited text messaging in and out, your recipient may not. Early on, I had a boss texting me long messages at $0.10 a pop. And each 160 is a separate message.
As far as images, they are data and not text. They have an associated cost as well.
Jim P. at December 31, 2009 3:50 AM
Not into texting because the process of actually entering the text on phone devices irritates me so much. I have large fingers, and I can't use one of those microscopic thumb keyboards. And trying to select letters using a numeric keypad is just far too tedious, plus the auto-correct algorithms in the phones always seem to do the opposite of what I want, and then I have to back up and erase what it put in. If I had a phone with an actual keyboard, like the one RPM mentioned, I might feel differently.
Facebook is fine for keeping up with what your friends are doing, especially friends that you are physically distant from. For me, it's been great for keeping up with one of my favorite cousins who lives a long way from me. It's definitely not something you should rely on for business purposes, although it can be useful for publicity.
I've heard said that the Internet has destroyed the quality of writing in America. I'm not sure I buy that -- if anything, I think it should improve the quality of writing, since everyone is getting more practice at it. There have always been bad writers among us; I think the only thing that has changed is that the Internet now exposes their bad writing to the whole world.
Cousin Dave at December 31, 2009 8:05 AM
"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." - Robert Silenski
Conan the Grammarian at December 31, 2009 9:25 AM
I thought this was going to be another long boring blog post, but I was pleasantly suprised. I will be posting a backlink on my blog, as I am quite sure my readers will find this more than interesting.
Bernie Madoff SEO at January 23, 2010 4:55 PM
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