What To Do For A Living If You're Stupid
Go into governmentm of course, where stupidity is so often the gold standard. Here's a piece by Katherine Mangu-Ward at reason, in which she takes that tiny little extra step to process what it really means, the way government is plans to "protect" you when your flight is delayed on the tarmac. Whoops, she figures out it's all the way to having you sleep on the airport floor. Maybe for days. Mangu-Ward writes:
Are three hours of your time worth $27,500? If they're spent in an airplane on the tarmac, then the U.S. Department of Transportation says they are. In December, the government announced that it would soon begin enforcing new rules that fine airlines per passengers for any tarmac delay that lasts more than three hours. The fines go into effect on April 29, meaning that a delayed 747 jammed full of people headed to their summer vacations could cost the airline more than $13 million.But wait! If a flight is canceled, then the fine is void. Too bad no one can see the future to know what will happen next. Just kidding. We know exactly what will happen next.
So let's just go ahead and make this an official announcement: Starting in April, every flight that is delayed more than three hours in the United States of America is canceled. The flight that was delayed for the rainstorm that shows signs of clearing at 2 hours and 55 minutes? Canceled. The flight delayed for a repair that will take 3 hours and 4 minutes? Canceled.
And, of course, should an airline violate the delay rules and be forced to pay the fine, the cash won't go the passengers. But the passengers sleeping on the floor of the airport will enjoy the full realization of their "fundamental right to be treated with respect," according to Department of Transportation spokeswoman Maureen Knightly.
As for who's going to pay the $13 million fine, do you really think the chairman of the airline is going to sell his house in the Hamptons? Or that maybe they'll pass it on to all the schmucks on the plane; say, by charging for air, or whatever they have yet to nickel and dime all of us for?
And the hits just keep coming
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/02/17/school-used-student.html
lujlp at February 19, 2010 6:11 AM
"The flight delayed for a repair that will take 3 hours and 4
minutes? Canceled."
That's total nonsense! All it takes to avoid the penalty is to
allow the people on board to deplane for a while. Repairs are
generally done while the plane is at the gate, so opening the
door back up is no big deal. Even before the new reg, that's
what usually occurred during an extended repair.
As far as who is going to pay the fine, the answer is, "probably
nobody." The financial incentive is high enough that airline
policy will likely take strong steps to make sure this event no
longer happens. An airline slipshod enough to have an incident
like this happening on a regular basis will have to raise the
ticket prices to make up for the losses. That means that it's on
the road to bankruptcy, as it's a serious competitive
disadvantage. It means that an airline that treats people a
little less like cattle could end up taking over those routes.
Ron at February 19, 2010 7:04 AM
"we are personally shocked that the cancellation rate for flights has skyrocketed! This is a completely unextected result."
oddly enough, sometimes I think that people who think about and make such rules actually DON'T have a concept about what the outcome will be in truth. That's why they went in to politics and/or middle management in the first place, and were so good at it. You would tie yourself in knots trying to regulate things that are inherently difficult to regulate.
SwissArmyD at February 19, 2010 9:24 AM
I am reminded of the No Child Left Behind program. Like teachers can take a totally unmotivated child from a fatherless family living in a cruddy area, and turn him into a Rhodes Scholar. So, the schools simply report drop-outs as "moved".
irlandes at February 19, 2010 10:39 AM
The fines go into effect on April 29, meaning that a delayed 747 jammed full of people headed to their summer vacations could cost the airline more than $13 million.
Several years ago a BA 747 popped a motor just after taking off from LAX for LHR.
And continued the flight on three engines.*
Why? Because the EU had just passed a law requiring airlines to compensate passengers for flight delays. Had they turned back to LAX for repairs, it would have cost (IIRC) more than 200,000 euros.
*The decision was unconventional, but legal.
Hey Skipper at February 19, 2010 10:47 AM
You guys are all missing the point.
Only the "King Obama Nanny State" mentality would enact this anti-business, all-encompassing, all-empowering (to the government) regulation.
... and ... Ron, what do you think happens to security, once you have, oh, let's say, 200 to 300 passengers roaming the terminal, and then getting BACK on to the plane?
But ... NOW ... NOW ... you can sue the shit out of the airline, and fatten the wallets of all the lawyers.
Ken at February 19, 2010 10:51 AM
This has been remarked before, but it bears repeating: The airline does not have the legal or physical ability to determine when to fly. The Federal Aviation Administration controls all commercial flight, and the Transportation Security Administration controls the passengers.
So the Feds get to punish people for verbatim compliance with what they are told under penalty of law.
Don't be an ignoramus and blame the airline. The pilot wants to get there on time more than you do. Yes, really.
Radwaste at February 19, 2010 11:33 AM
"The airline does not have the legal or physical ability to determine when to fly"
***
Federal Aviation Regulations, 91.3
Sec. 91.3 - Responsibility and authority of the pilot in command.
(a) The pilot in command of an aircraft is directly responsible for, and is the final authority as to, the operation of that aircraft.
(b) In an in-flight emergency requiring immediate action, the pilot in command may deviate from any rule of this part to the extent required to meet that emergency.
(c) Each pilot in command who deviates from a rule under paragraph (b) of this section shall, upon the request of the Administrator, send a written report of that deviation to the Administrator.
***
Airlines determine their own schedules: for example, how many flights to schedule during known peak periods. The pilot in command, in conjunction with the airline dispatcher and various meterologists, decides what weather conditions are flyable and whether, for example, the conditions at a particular airport/runway are likely to be favorable enough to release the flight as planned. The airline and its employees also decide whether, in event of a long delay, to return to the gate and deplane the passengers.
david foster at February 19, 2010 1:09 PM
David, that's not true. ATC doesn't release a plane on the ground until a slot for it to land at its destination is available.
I hope you're not trying to say that the pilot flying from, say, LA to NY gets to say when he takes off. That's just wrong.
Airlines also bid for available slots at airports they serve. They don't get to say, "OK, today we're going Topeka to Augusta!"
This is explained at length by Patrick Smith, in his column, "Ask The Pilot", to name one easy-to-read source.
You're also off a bit about passengers. The incident that triggered this stupidity came about specifically because of a rule that no unaccompanied passenger may roam the airport. Planes denied takeoff clearance by the FAA-run tower could not unload passengers because airport gates had airplanes at them.
So, your quote-mining isn't the whole picture. I urge you to keep reading!
Radwaste at February 19, 2010 4:08 PM
"Ron, what do you think happens to security, once you have, oh,
let's say, 200 to 300 passengers roaming the terminal, and then
getting BACK on to the plane?"
Exactly the same as happens right now if the plane is three hours
late in arriving at the gate. This does occasionally happen due
to weather, delays, mechanical problems, etc. at the other end
or along the way.
Getting off the plane into a security-cleared area doesn't
suddenly turn them into lepers. The shops and eateries are
generally past the security checkpoints, so they can browse and
eat just like they would if the plane were late.
Ron at February 19, 2010 4:31 PM
radwaste, I'm well aware that an airliner cannot take off without an ATC clearance. It is well known, though, that many delays are attributable to the fact that airlines frequently choose to schedule an unrealistic number of departures at peak times. The airline also decides on utilization of gates which it operates: if you operate any resources at 95% utilization, you are going to get substantially more delays than if you operate it at, say, 80% utilization.
david foster at February 19, 2010 5:26 PM
David there are a limited number of gates and the number of flights is determined by the number of passangers.
To do as you suggest airlines would have to cut their total number of flights, raise the rate on remaining tickets and thousands of people would have to wait days, if not weeks longer to fly, as everyone would be forced to book flights moths in advance to be able to even get a seat.
Flight attendants and pilots would no longer be able fly standby meaning they whould no longer be able to live in a city other then the one they are based out of at cheaper rates which would result in raised salaries or pilots working second jobs with no time to relax and extremly stressed out.
You think airlines want the delays? Have you any idea what a logistical nightmare they are for the company? A long enough delay on one end of the counrty gaurenttes a cncellation on the other coast as the filght crew winds up going over their regulated number of hours meaning they can no longer work the scheduals they bid on.
One delayed flight messed up my aunts work schedual to the point she had to rearrange the date and location of her wedding. It was either that or lose her job for not working, or miss a mortgage payment for not working enough hours.
And what the hell does dumping another finacial burden on the airlines shoulders accomplish?
They are already losing money to refunded tickets, vouchers, and ground crew overtime. And where the hell would that money go? Cause it aint going to the passangers. And as radwaste said, once the gate has pulled away from the plane the airline no longer has a say, the various federal agencies at work in the airports decide whether or no passangers can deplane.
lujlp at February 19, 2010 9:24 PM
Mr. Foster is correct.
(BTW, I am an airline pilot.)
Hey Skipper at February 19, 2010 10:28 PM
Ron,
With all due respect, you don't know jack shit about security.
Ken at February 20, 2010 6:04 AM
Ken: I must bow to your mastery of rational discourse and
withdraw in defeat.
Ron at February 20, 2010 11:20 AM
Ron,
No bows needed.
But here is a tip:
If some guy is ahead of you at the check-in line at the airport, is holding a Koran, is complaining that his homeland airport in Iran gets people through much faster, (They do have at least one airport, don't they?), and his sneakers start singing "Allah Akbar" in a voice reminiscent of Mickey Mouse on helium ... back away, notify security, take the half mile walk back to that great airport food court, have a coffee, whip out the laptop, and book another flight.
Ken at February 21, 2010 12:24 PM
Im almost considering opening a group for us pathetic losers that enjoy.
Archana Kapoor at June 1, 2011 6:27 PM
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