California: What Our Fucking Lawmakers Are Doing
They can't pass fucking useful, sensible laws so they pass fucking toothless ones to tell us to cut our fucking cursing. Robin Hindery writes for the AP that the fuckwads in the California State Assembly passed a resolution to establish the first fucking week of March as "Cuss Free Week" in California:
If approved by the Senate next week, the measure would take effect immediately.The resolution includes no enforcement mechanism and is simply meant to promote greater harmony and connectedness, said Assemblyman Anthony Portantino, a Democrat from La Canada Flintridge and co-author of the measure.
"I've always wondered why we behave differently when grandma is watching than when we're on our own," said Portantino, who owned up to his share of four-letter words.
None of your fucking business. Let's hope your constituents depose your worthless ass for doing fuck all when you were supposed to be representing them.
P.S. Hadn't you heard (perhaps you were too busy covering your ears lest somebody unleashed some blue fucking language), but the state is so weighted down in debt it's about to break off the continent and fall into the Pacific Ocean?
Oh, excuse me -- make that the Pacific fucking Ocean.
Tax revolt within 20 months. (You heard it here first.)
Or unregulated, untrackable, violently-enforced black markets. For everything, every day.
Take yer pick.
________________________
By the way, commenter BOTU, I think Amy's darling little postscript was a very special gift —wrapped in cocksucking, motherfucking ribbons— just for you! Special!
(It's scary when grown-ups have strong feelings, isn't it, little feller? It sure is!)
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 12:09 AM
Tax revolt within 20 months. (You heard it here first.)
Abso-fucking-lutely.
In Los Angeles, our "mayor," Tony Teeth, wants another $2.50 a month out of all of us now to develop "alternative energy" sources:
http://blogs.laweekly.com/ladaily/city-news/villaraigosa-wants-250-month/
And yes, Crid, this post, from beginning to end, is fucking dedicated to BOTU.
Amy Alkon at March 2, 2010 12:24 AM
Joe The Plumber calls for a tax revolt here:
http://biggovernment.com/jwurzelbacher/2010/03/01/it-is-time-for-a-new-tax-revolt/
Amy Alkon at March 2, 2010 12:27 AM
Beware: Joe the plumber's Dad was apparently tight with this famous scoundrel, if not literally (or prosecutably) his partner in crime.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 12:46 AM
PS— When they finally nailed that guy, and the LA Weekly published this photo with the headline:
Surprising New Evidence of Existence of God!
Jailing of S&L chief heartens theologians
Laughing 'til I cried, I cut it out and framed it, and it's sitting in the bedroom to this day.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 12:48 AM
Madness.
That is how they spend their time?
Seriously...what is wrong with California?
Robert at March 2, 2010 1:37 AM
So fucking what?
mpetrie98 at March 2, 2010 1:38 AM
More music for airheaded Kookiefornia legisl00ters:
I'm The Man
mpetrie98 at March 2, 2010 1:49 AM
So, they want a cuss-free week???
Anthrax - I'm The Man (live 1991)
mpetrie98 at March 2, 2010 1:55 AM
See I live in Glasgow, what you wrote there isn't swearing. It's just standard punctuation.
Still, fucking stupid law.
Simon Proctor at March 2, 2010 3:22 AM
I fucking love the word fuck. It can be used in so many fucking ways. And here in New fucking York, we have added that fucker to our own fucking personal dictionaries. And as far as those fucks that are elected into office? Fuck them! They suck the big one here too! Try 2 fucking governors in a row who can't hold the fucking job because they're fucking corrupt fuckers!
Kristen at March 2, 2010 5:02 AM
This is how the Verbal Morality Laws must have begun in Demolition Man
I cannot do fancy links with anchors to the correct location on a webpage. So. Under "Setting", 3rd paragraph:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demolition_Man_%28film%29
Total fucking bullshit.
Gretchen at March 2, 2010 5:13 AM
Holy fucking shit. I just reread the whole god damned synopsis and Demolition Man is DEF coming true in California - as Arnold Schwarzenegger is president and salt is outlawed!!
Also, unlicensed pregnancies are illegal. But that might actually be a good thing considering yesterday's blog item :-)
Gretchen at March 2, 2010 5:18 AM
Totally abfuckingsurd! Fucking fucktards. I hope they all fucking choke. Besides, it's not like people are going to stop fucking swearing anyway, is it? As Cartman said in South Park, the Movie: "What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody! Fuck fuckity fuckfuckfuck!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UBBIsQ6224
Flynne at March 2, 2010 5:59 AM
Well, I, for one, am horrified by this display of vulgarity, and I...
Oh, who am I fucking kidding. Party on.
MonicaP at March 2, 2010 6:51 AM
"Fuck fuckity fuckfuckfuck!"
I said the same thing when I read this... Then my shock collar went off...
Sabrina at March 2, 2010 7:11 AM
Wow. And here I thought Californians were too mellow and laid back to ever need any cuss words. Live and learn.
Cousin Dave at March 2, 2010 7:11 AM
Gotta love politicians- California is circling the drain and they are worried about cussing.
Ironically, people should be cursing at these politicians at the top of their lungs.
David M. at March 2, 2010 7:11 AM
Assemblyman Anthony Portantino sounds like he possess what my lovely mother calls a plexi-glass belly window, which enables him to see where he's going while walking about with his head stuck up his ass. Someone should send Mr. P a string of pearls so he had something to clutch other than his genitals. Practical, classic and a boost to the economy!
nanc in ashland at March 2, 2010 7:42 AM
Ah, more fun with language! George, you died too soon.
In the nitpickery department, so far the only actual curse words have been by Gretchen. The rest is just fuckin' bullshit.
Pricklypear at March 2, 2010 7:45 AM
And just for fun:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zbVKayEg2Q
-Julie
JulieW at March 2, 2010 8:25 AM
Fuck this!
Feebie at March 2, 2010 9:07 AM
Ha! It's been more than a year now since I called you the most clueless cunt in California. Dozens of columns, hundreds of blog posts, and a book later, you still can't come up with a cussing that sounds better than that!
Does the Governator have anything to do with this resolution? Wasn't it sometime last year that a California legislator received a letter from Arnold's office in which the first letters of each row just happened to form this sequence:
G
O
F
U
C
K
Y
O
U
R
S
E
L
F
Martin at March 2, 2010 9:20 AM
@David M: "Ironically, people should be cursing at these politicians at the top of their lungs."
Which is maybe why they'd like to outlaw it. Or maybe they're just afraid of that fuckin' Amy Alkon.
That fuckin' Alkon!
old rpm daddy at March 2, 2010 9:26 AM
What a bunch of cunts.
mse at March 2, 2010 9:40 AM
**** RETRACTION! ****
_________________________
I was wrong about Joe the Plumber: I take it back and am truly sorry.
Got lied to... Faked out of my shoes by liberal commentators on the internet.... Imagine!
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 9:45 AM
Who cares what the fucking moron Joe (whose name isn't Joe) the fucking plumber (who isn't a plumber) thinks?
Patrick at March 2, 2010 10:02 AM
Me.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 10:25 AM
Buy Tar and Feather Futures!
brian at March 2, 2010 10:41 AM
You beat me to the Southpark reference, but nobodies referenced this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_dirty_words
William (wbhicks@hotmail.com) at March 2, 2010 11:26 AM
I personally don't care how many times a person says "fuck". It's a flexible word that can be used anywhere (just like "smurf")! However, I find it hard not to tune out those who use it as every third or fourth word in day to day conversation. Like, can't you, like come up with something more, like creative?
In terms of its use in the book which is referred to offhand in comments above: I knew the ongoing language choices would offend my mom, her two sisters and their mother...all of whom I had hoped to buy the book for last xmas. Whether those four less sales are made up by people who bought it BECAUSE of the word choices, I can't say.
moreta at March 2, 2010 11:34 AM
Buy Tar and Feather Futures!
Brian, I'm going to shamelessly steal this for my new email signature
Juliana at March 2, 2010 1:52 PM
Well, I for one am relieved that the fine citizens of CA will be going without swearing for a week. I'm sure that no one will violate this new rule, and that we can look forward to sweetness and politeness from all Californians for a week.
NicoleK at March 2, 2010 2:20 PM
Nicole, go smurf yourself with a smurfy smurf.
brian at March 2, 2010 5:46 PM
Fuck the fucking fuckers.
Elle at March 2, 2010 5:53 PM
Best post EVER.
Scott at March 2, 2010 5:54 PM
odd note - smurf is in the spell-checker.
brian at March 2, 2010 5:56 PM
Crid writes: Me.
Why?
Patrick at March 2, 2010 6:59 PM
Many reasons— His intimidation of detractors is reason enough for now.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 2, 2010 10:45 PM
Interesting.
Patrick at March 3, 2010 1:11 AM
Always.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at March 3, 2010 1:18 AM
Okay, there's a small chance I could get transferred to our plant in Oxnard.
After this? FUCK THAT!
Ann at March 3, 2010 9:06 AM
Brian, your talk of smurfs is smurfingly smurfy! I'm so smurfed.
NicoleK at March 3, 2010 12:28 PM
Fucking loved this Amy...
Edward Padgett at March 3, 2010 12:56 PM
A little message to ALL of our politicians:
FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS. FUCK OFF AND DIE, STUPID FUCKWADS.
There, I feel much fucking better now...
Ari at March 3, 2010 5:28 PM
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