Nicely done, Amy. Metzger was very interested and very interactive. I think you sold more books with this one, Amy.
When we have your own talk show, can we be your panelists? There's a lot of us, so we'll have to take turns.
Patrick
at March 18, 2010 3:13 AM
??? "When we have our own talk show..."? My goodness, it must be a Freudian slip.
Reminds me of the former friend of mine I once told you about, Amy. About four years ago, he had a one-night stand with Clay Aiken. Despite his promise of "absolute discretion," once Clay had his wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and took off, my erstwhile friend went to the tabloids and on Howard Stern, he posted every IM and email he had with Clay Aiken (and still has it up), he even saved the towel and washcloth that Clay used to clean up with and has it in a safe-deposit box (totally gross). I visited his blog and told him how disgusted I was with his conduct, and he recently said (despite his candid admission that he never considered Clay Aiken attractive), "Because I wanted Clay to love me and tell me I could move into our mansion."
I loved his choice of words: "our mansion." Does Clay Aiken even have a mansion?
Yuck. Back-stabbing gold-digger. Repulsive. No self-respect. And apparently an unsearable conscience. I gave up trying to convince him that he did a terrible thing. Clay Aiken dodged a bullet when he hooked up with my erstwhile friend and decided not to follow up on it. Good for Clay.
Patrick
at March 18, 2010 3:30 AM
Thanks so much, Patrick. And I've had more failed TV deals than anybody in Hollywood -- but I'm meeting with some people in the next few weeks who I really respect, and who have the right idea about a show for me (that they want to do). That's usually pretty rare. And by "right idea," I mean something that I know will work and that can be done for not a lot of money.
Amy,
I've just watched the first half so far - and you've gotten better and better - charming, engaged and specifically responsive.
The hands are still flying - which is NOT necessarily distracting - your interviewer does quite a bit of this too, but he keeps his lower. It only looks a tiny bit fly-swatting when you gesture too high with both hands at once!
(I remember reading that Jennifer Aniston - when she was going into movies just post-Friends - had a coach who forced her to rehearse holding weights to break the same habit - because the flying hands "tic" inevitably recalled her tv character).
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702403">comment from Jody Tresidder
Thanks so much, Jody. And I've come a long way, which is kind of cool. I used to be just PETRIFIED on TV. The first time I was on, with my Advice Lady partners, I wore my (short but heavy) leather motorcycle jacket, as if it would protect me from the rays or something. When we were on Good Morning America (at 6am) I brought Chardonnay in an Evian bottle and drank some before our appearance to "take the edge off." Mercifully, I don't think I noticeably slurred my words. And then, in LA, KTLA (channel 5) wanted me on, and my friend Debbie L. came with me so I wouldn't be so scared that I'd fly up to the ceiling and stick there.
And then I worked with this guy named Stevenson Phillips, who also coached Spalding Gray, and he told me this cool thing: "80 percent of the time, you're pretty smart and funny. 10 percent of the time, you're not so smart and funny. And 10 percent of the time, you're dumb and full of shit." The point being, people aren't all taking every word down and analyzing it, and I'm basically fine on TV as long as I have fun doing it and realize I know my stuff instead of being afraid I don't.
Please feel free to pass this on to anybody who is doing TV for the first time or first few times, if you think it'll help them.
"The point being, people aren't all taking every word down and analyzing it..."
I used to be an "on-air personality" on the radio, and learning that was what really helped me. People aren't listening or analyzing you that closely.
I thought you came across very well.
lovelysoul
at March 18, 2010 8:30 AM
Thanks so much, lovely soul -- and for distilling it down to that. I do best when I don't think too much about what I'm saying or worry that I won't be good when I go on. I just talk like it's somebody I meet in life, and I'm fine.
Coulda fooled me, Amy. You always seem to come across as pretty polished and savvy, from what I've seen!
Flynne
at March 18, 2010 10:27 AM
Oh, dear me! Looks like we'll all have to start primping ourselves for our spots on Amy's panel when she forms her own talk show. We'll be the first co-ed panel show on television. Goodness. I haven't got a thing to wear!
Patrick
at March 18, 2010 10:34 AM
Lovelysoul, you used to be an on air personality, too? I used to be a radio newscaster! Fantastic! We were destined to work with each other.
Patrick
at March 18, 2010 10:36 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I like the flying hands. The more animated the better, as long as you don't knock over your coffee cup.
Martin
at March 18, 2010 10:56 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I like the flying hands. The more animated the better, as long as you don't knock over your coffee cup.
Me too. But maybe that's just because I do the same thing. My hands are all over the place when I talk. My husband calls them Sabby-ims. You can call your Amy-ims. However, I can see where they can be distracting. They tend to cover your (general) face.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702480">comment from Sabrina
Thanks, Sabrina. I like my eccentricities. I'm going to ask the producers I'm working with how far I should go in reining things in. They're fantastic, and I trust their judgment, and they aren't the types to want everything to be all manicured and polished, which I find dull.
I did stand-up in NYC, and the funny stuff was when I forgot my jokes, and turned around and faced the wall and said I was trying to remember, which is just me being me. That got the loudest laughs.
I like teh section near the end about how people attack you and call you a man. I have seen some of those comments about you myself. It's disgusting.
I have also experianced this. I have been lashed out at more ways than I can count because I happen to know what I am doing in this particular area (I work in theatre FWIW). I don't hold back because frankly, I am damn good at it and those who I respect and that I have worked with know it. But these guys, well they just couldn't deal with this female coming in and establishing power. What they couldn't take even more was the fact that I was half thier age. I couldn't understand why I was getting all this backlash for doing my job. At first, it really upset me.
Then, my husband said "They have penis envy. You came in swinging your dick, and they saw that yours was bigger than theirs." After I finished laughing, I saw what my husband was saying. You made them looks stupid, just like I made the ones I worked with look stupid, just by doing your job. They had had smoke blown up thier asses for so long and been allowed to skate on so much bullshit that they didn't know how to take it when someone competant actually came along. I realized that they are the ones with the problem, and soon enough, everyone sees it.
So I say, if they want to call you a man, swing your dick proud Amy. ;)
"Lovelysoul, you used to be an on air personality, too? I used to be a radio newscaster! Fantastic! We were destined to work with each other."
Cool, Patrick. I really loved that job, though it didn't pay too much, but I loved reading the news from the AP.
We were always playing tricks on each other, and once, they changed the thermometer in my booth to read 110 degrees, which I promptly glanced up and read like I always did. "Beautiful day today...110 outside...and on to the news..." That's when you know people aren't really paying attention - the only person who called in was my boss.
lovelysoul
at March 18, 2010 2:33 PM
I remember seeing one of your first interviews (or at least one of the first I saw you in) a year or so back with Dr. Helen. The content was good but you looked a little nervous.
What's great (and enjoyable) about some of these recent interviews, Amy, is that you look so much more comfortable now. It looks as if these interviews are becoming old hat for you. You look like you are having fun and there is more engagement with the interviewer - which is nice to see.
What I also observed is that in these face to face interviews you have a knack for connecting with the interviewer. It's quite charming to watch.
Really good interview...
Feebie
at March 18, 2010 4:02 PM
RE: hand gestures, one of my favorite interviewees to watch is Paglia - specifically for her animation (and big corny laugh, speech cadence...etc). Maybe it is a personal preference, but I like Amy's hands moving around, personality - FWIW.
Feebie
at March 18, 2010 4:06 PM
Amy, you were perfect. You followed the four rules I always used to whisper in my husband's ear before he spoke to a group or participated in a debate when he was running for office (you know him....he came in second for Mayor of L.A.)
1. Relax
2. Have fun
3. Be yourself
4. Go with your gut
Bien travail! Bonne chance avec votre TV show. I have no idea how to say that en francais.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702616">comment from Judy
Merci beaucoup, Judy!
Judy's husband is Walter Moore. I voted him for Mayor, but a lot of dunderheads voted for the jerk who's currently in office, Tony Teeth (as I call him). Walter had a great piece on Tony's latest money-suck attempt:
"People aren't listening or analyzing you that closely."
I am. Automatically. So, sweat!
-----
And about "flying hands": Stephen Furst steals scenes on a regular basis with them. When his character needs to indicate uncertainty or nerves, he flails away. The audience pays more attention because the flapping signals distress. It's a tool to be used that doesn't work all the time.
Radwaste
at March 19, 2010 11:12 AM
Excellent interview. I only just found out about you because I enjoy watching interviews on Dangerous Minds.
I'm sure you realized Richard is an insightful and genuinely interested interviewer.
You both shined in this interview.
I'll be buying your book, particularly since it's what you spoke of resonated with my greatly......
Nicely done, Amy. Metzger was very interested and very interactive. I think you sold more books with this one, Amy.
When we have your own talk show, can we be your panelists? There's a lot of us, so we'll have to take turns.
Patrick at March 18, 2010 3:13 AM
??? "When we have our own talk show..."? My goodness, it must be a Freudian slip.
Reminds me of the former friend of mine I once told you about, Amy. About four years ago, he had a one-night stand with Clay Aiken. Despite his promise of "absolute discretion," once Clay had his wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and took off, my erstwhile friend went to the tabloids and on Howard Stern, he posted every IM and email he had with Clay Aiken (and still has it up), he even saved the towel and washcloth that Clay used to clean up with and has it in a safe-deposit box (totally gross). I visited his blog and told him how disgusted I was with his conduct, and he recently said (despite his candid admission that he never considered Clay Aiken attractive), "Because I wanted Clay to love me and tell me I could move into our mansion."
I loved his choice of words: "our mansion." Does Clay Aiken even have a mansion?
Yuck. Back-stabbing gold-digger. Repulsive. No self-respect. And apparently an unsearable conscience. I gave up trying to convince him that he did a terrible thing. Clay Aiken dodged a bullet when he hooked up with my erstwhile friend and decided not to follow up on it. Good for Clay.
Patrick at March 18, 2010 3:30 AM
Thanks so much, Patrick. And I've had more failed TV deals than anybody in Hollywood -- but I'm meeting with some people in the next few weeks who I really respect, and who have the right idea about a show for me (that they want to do). That's usually pretty rare. And by "right idea," I mean something that I know will work and that can be done for not a lot of money.
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 7:07 AM
Amy,
I've just watched the first half so far - and you've gotten better and better - charming, engaged and specifically responsive.
The hands are still flying - which is NOT necessarily distracting - your interviewer does quite a bit of this too, but he keeps his lower. It only looks a tiny bit fly-swatting when you gesture too high with both hands at once!
(I remember reading that Jennifer Aniston - when she was going into movies just post-Friends - had a coach who forced her to rehearse holding weights to break the same habit - because the flying hands "tic" inevitably recalled her tv character).
Jody Tresidder at March 18, 2010 7:29 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702403">comment from Jody TresidderThanks so much, Jody. And I've come a long way, which is kind of cool. I used to be just PETRIFIED on TV. The first time I was on, with my Advice Lady partners, I wore my (short but heavy) leather motorcycle jacket, as if it would protect me from the rays or something. When we were on Good Morning America (at 6am) I brought Chardonnay in an Evian bottle and drank some before our appearance to "take the edge off." Mercifully, I don't think I noticeably slurred my words. And then, in LA, KTLA (channel 5) wanted me on, and my friend Debbie L. came with me so I wouldn't be so scared that I'd fly up to the ceiling and stick there.
And then I worked with this guy named Stevenson Phillips, who also coached Spalding Gray, and he told me this cool thing: "80 percent of the time, you're pretty smart and funny. 10 percent of the time, you're not so smart and funny. And 10 percent of the time, you're dumb and full of shit." The point being, people aren't all taking every word down and analyzing it, and I'm basically fine on TV as long as I have fun doing it and realize I know my stuff instead of being afraid I don't.
Please feel free to pass this on to anybody who is doing TV for the first time or first few times, if you think it'll help them.
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 7:38 AM
"The point being, people aren't all taking every word down and analyzing it..."
I used to be an "on-air personality" on the radio, and learning that was what really helped me. People aren't listening or analyzing you that closely.
I thought you came across very well.
lovelysoul at March 18, 2010 8:30 AM
Thanks so much, lovely soul -- and for distilling it down to that. I do best when I don't think too much about what I'm saying or worry that I won't be good when I go on. I just talk like it's somebody I meet in life, and I'm fine.
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 9:24 AM
Coulda fooled me, Amy. You always seem to come across as pretty polished and savvy, from what I've seen!
Flynne at March 18, 2010 10:27 AM
Oh, dear me! Looks like we'll all have to start primping ourselves for our spots on Amy's panel when she forms her own talk show. We'll be the first co-ed panel show on television. Goodness. I haven't got a thing to wear!
Patrick at March 18, 2010 10:34 AM
Lovelysoul, you used to be an on air personality, too? I used to be a radio newscaster! Fantastic! We were destined to work with each other.
Patrick at March 18, 2010 10:36 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I like the flying hands. The more animated the better, as long as you don't knock over your coffee cup.
Martin at March 18, 2010 10:56 AM
Maybe it's just me, but I like the flying hands. The more animated the better, as long as you don't knock over your coffee cup.
Me too. But maybe that's just because I do the same thing. My hands are all over the place when I talk. My husband calls them Sabby-ims. You can call your Amy-ims. However, I can see where they can be distracting. They tend to cover your (general) face.
Sabrina at March 18, 2010 12:39 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702480">comment from SabrinaThanks, Sabrina. I like my eccentricities. I'm going to ask the producers I'm working with how far I should go in reining things in. They're fantastic, and I trust their judgment, and they aren't the types to want everything to be all manicured and polished, which I find dull.
I did stand-up in NYC, and the funny stuff was when I forgot my jokes, and turned around and faced the wall and said I was trying to remember, which is just me being me. That got the loudest laughs.
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 12:47 PM
I like teh section near the end about how people attack you and call you a man. I have seen some of those comments about you myself. It's disgusting.
I have also experianced this. I have been lashed out at more ways than I can count because I happen to know what I am doing in this particular area (I work in theatre FWIW). I don't hold back because frankly, I am damn good at it and those who I respect and that I have worked with know it. But these guys, well they just couldn't deal with this female coming in and establishing power. What they couldn't take even more was the fact that I was half thier age. I couldn't understand why I was getting all this backlash for doing my job. At first, it really upset me.
Then, my husband said "They have penis envy. You came in swinging your dick, and they saw that yours was bigger than theirs." After I finished laughing, I saw what my husband was saying. You made them looks stupid, just like I made the ones I worked with look stupid, just by doing your job. They had had smoke blown up thier asses for so long and been allowed to skate on so much bullshit that they didn't know how to take it when someone competant actually came along. I realized that they are the ones with the problem, and soon enough, everyone sees it.
So I say, if they want to call you a man, swing your dick proud Amy. ;)
Sabrina at March 18, 2010 1:11 PM
Wait. You did stand up? Any videos?
Sabrina at March 18, 2010 1:12 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702489">comment from SabrinaNope -- in those days, video cams were huge, not on iPhones.
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 1:31 PM
"Lovelysoul, you used to be an on air personality, too? I used to be a radio newscaster! Fantastic! We were destined to work with each other."
Cool, Patrick. I really loved that job, though it didn't pay too much, but I loved reading the news from the AP.
We were always playing tricks on each other, and once, they changed the thermometer in my booth to read 110 degrees, which I promptly glanced up and read like I always did. "Beautiful day today...110 outside...and on to the news..." That's when you know people aren't really paying attention - the only person who called in was my boss.
lovelysoul at March 18, 2010 2:33 PM
I remember seeing one of your first interviews (or at least one of the first I saw you in) a year or so back with Dr. Helen. The content was good but you looked a little nervous.
What's great (and enjoyable) about some of these recent interviews, Amy, is that you look so much more comfortable now. It looks as if these interviews are becoming old hat for you. You look like you are having fun and there is more engagement with the interviewer - which is nice to see.
What I also observed is that in these face to face interviews you have a knack for connecting with the interviewer. It's quite charming to watch.
Really good interview...
Feebie at March 18, 2010 4:02 PM
RE: hand gestures, one of my favorite interviewees to watch is Paglia - specifically for her animation (and big corny laugh, speech cadence...etc). Maybe it is a personal preference, but I like Amy's hands moving around, personality - FWIW.
Feebie at March 18, 2010 4:06 PM
Amy, you were perfect. You followed the four rules I always used to whisper in my husband's ear before he spoke to a group or participated in a debate when he was running for office (you know him....he came in second for Mayor of L.A.)
1. Relax
2. Have fun
3. Be yourself
4. Go with your gut
Bien travail! Bonne chance avec votre TV show. I have no idea how to say that en francais.
Judy at March 18, 2010 7:35 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/03/18/dangerous_minds.html#comment-1702616">comment from JudyMerci beaucoup, Judy!
Judy's husband is Walter Moore. I voted him for Mayor, but a lot of dunderheads voted for the jerk who's currently in office, Tony Teeth (as I call him). Walter had a great piece on Tony's latest money-suck attempt:
http://web.mac.com/waltermoore/WalterMooreSays.com/Blog/Entries/2010/3/16_Villaraigosa’s_Proposed_DWP_Rate_Hike_Would_Cost_15_Times_More_Than_He_Claims.html
Amy Alkon at March 18, 2010 8:28 PM
"People aren't listening or analyzing you that closely."
I am. Automatically. So, sweat!
-----
And about "flying hands": Stephen Furst steals scenes on a regular basis with them. When his character needs to indicate uncertainty or nerves, he flails away. The audience pays more attention because the flapping signals distress. It's a tool to be used that doesn't work all the time.
Radwaste at March 19, 2010 11:12 AM
Excellent interview. I only just found out about you because I enjoy watching interviews on Dangerous Minds.
I'm sure you realized Richard is an insightful and genuinely interested interviewer.
You both shined in this interview.
I'll be buying your book, particularly since it's what you spoke of resonated with my greatly......
All the best,
Jeff
Jeff D. at March 21, 2010 1:49 AM
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