Eeek, It Smarts!
If you want to be on TV, you might have to have an "ouchie" moment or two when somebody makes a crack about you, maybe in the "chicks are no good at this sort of thing" vein.
Danny Shea writes on the HuffPo that (gasp!) "Mark Haines Makes Sexist Comment On CNBC, Refuses To Apologize." (Does this sound like an episode out of some kid's day in nursery school or what?) Shea reports:
CNBC anchor Mark Haines made a sexist comment towards Erin Burnett Thursday (via SportsGrid).In a discussion of the blown call during Wednesday night's almost-perfect-game, Burnett argued that the umpire and pitcher's "graciousness" were so "beautiful" that it made for a "more memorable moment" than a perfect game would have.
"See, this is why women aren't in charge of sports," Haines shot back.
A shocked Burnett then transitioned to a panel, while making a joke about punching Haines and turning CNBC into the UFC.
"Shocked"? Is it just me, or is that one of the mildest possible cracks?
Now, maybe I'm just atypical. I love being teased by people in my life. Gregg does it all the time, and it makes me laugh, which is preferable to being all shocked about everything all the time. (I also get to hear some really good dirty and awful jokes.)
By the way, research (detailed by Helen Fisher in The First Sex) and life experience tell me that men, generally speaking, tend to be competitors where women are more likely to be conciliatory and consensus builders.
The idea that women are being victimized by being teased comes out of a denial of human nature, a denial that male and female natures are different, and a push to feminize public speech to make women more comfortable.
In short: Eeeuw.
My take? Ladies, if you can't play the nines with the boys, stay home and play house.
Personally, when I'm on NBC/LA's The Filter with Fred Roggin, I do my best to make fun of my usual debating partner, Leo Terrell, because I think it makes for more fun-to-watch TV. Regarding some issue where I didn't think he had the facts straight, I goaded him, "You'd better make more money, Leo, so you can afford Google at home."
P.S. Leo's a radio host on KABC and a lawyer. I'll bet you six cents that he makes piles more money than I do.
Strange, there is a feminist book of the same name. I actually own it but forgot who the author was until I read your blog today.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Sex
Kendra at June 7, 2010 1:36 AM
My main reaction to Haines's comment is that it's lame. She puts forth her argument with which he apparently disagrees, and all he can think of for a comeback is that...she's a girl? Something like, "So you wanted them to all join hands and sing Kumbaya?" would have been more amusing, especially given that I've seen several guys make the argument that the blown call made the game more memorable than it otherwise would have been (including, I believe, George Will).
marion at June 7, 2010 5:01 AM
Haines' comment was funny and sounds exactly like something any guy would say after a woman made some totally nancy comment like that about sports. But there are just some people who are desperate to be offended.
Fink-Nottle at June 7, 2010 6:11 AM
As a long time fan if Haines (who is without a doubt the best host of any business show in the last twenty years), he is known as cynical, sarcastic, and regular commentws about the world of sports. There is very strong chemistry between he and Burnett, and what he said in reality probably rolled right off of her. Watch their show for a week and you will see how often Burnett is "shocked" at something he says. She regularly rolls hers eyes at him, and blows off his sarcasm.
There is a 30 year age gap between the two, and the producers of the show take advantage of the uneasiness.
The show with Haines is one of the strong reasons she is a rising star at NBC (not just CNBC).
Girth at June 7, 2010 6:51 AM
After reading the host's scoff that this is why women are not in charge of running mens' sports, a thought occured to me: is there any large, medium or small scale organization run by women where men put forth their best effort?
You occasionally get a woman leader like Carly Fiorina running a large company or a nation like Israel or Britain, but let's face it: women may have breifly headed those social organizations, but they were not women-dominated. (And Golda Mier was, as one wag put it, the "best man for the job"--suggesting that it was her more masculine qualities that obtained her the position.)
Anyway, I am left idly wondering if there is any example of a women--organized activity that men will consistently engage in with their full interest. (The only obvious answer is mating, but that is generally a highly individualized matter, not an organized one.)
My sense of matriarchal societies is that the men tend to be disengaged from society, and those societies tend to be poor and underdeveloped relative to patriarchal ones. Put simply, men don't care to strive for recognition in organizations largely run by women. If men don't work really hard, well, the society is simply not going anywhere.
I am looking for real world counter examples that demonstrate otherwise, but cannot think of any at the moment.
Spartee at June 7, 2010 7:11 AM
I'm sure you can afford more than 6cents. But don't we have enough "Fairwaves" for sports in the sense of Title IX, WNBA, LPGA, etc.? So then if we're getting close to parity in the availability of sports played by males & females (assuming none of the "questioning" or other nebulous "genders" are involved), why is there an inordinately greater amount of money spent on sports played by males? In my dept. at work, the biggest Suns fan was a woman -- so even women prefer to watch men play.
I think Haines would have succeeded if he let Burnett just hang herself by saying the game was "handled so beautifully that it was a more memorable moment for its failure." Even though he was right, he shouldn't have said it. And unfortunately -- given our litigious culture -- I would bet money he's out of work in a few weeks.
Shep at June 7, 2010 7:33 AM
I swear, our society is bound and determined to take all the fun out of life.
Even though he was right, he shouldn't have said it.
Are you serious?
Marina at June 7, 2010 9:14 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/06/07/eeek_it_smarts.html#comment-1721496">comment from MarinaI'm with you, Marina.
Amy Alkon at June 7, 2010 9:21 AM
That's pretty goofy. How many times have we heard women making fun of men on tv, but not a peep about how shocking and offensive it is? No comments about "punching" the woman who said it in response?
Jewels at June 7, 2010 10:00 AM
"Even though he was right, he shouldn't have said it."
Seriously?
Where the hell did everyone's sense of humor go? Why oh why are people so determined to see the offense in EVERYTHING?
Sabrina at June 7, 2010 10:08 AM
There are too many people who spend every waking moment looking for something to be offended by. (Maybe they dream about being offended too.)
Jay at June 7, 2010 10:28 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/06/07/eeek_it_smarts.html#comment-1721515">comment from JayPique experiences? Sorry, couldn't resist.
Amy Alkon at June 7, 2010 10:41 AM
It's quite simple, really. If all of your time and mental energy is taken up with being offended by others, you never need to take a look at your own behavior, and perhaps catch a glimpse of something not quite flattering.
Marina at June 7, 2010 12:15 PM
Both comments are stupid (his is in the vein of "your mom"), but hers is definitely the stupidest. Whether you're a sports fan or not, you have to admit that the guy got robbed of a really well-played, perfect game. Trying to put some PC spin on it to commend both parties for not getting into a knock-down dragout (so justly deserved) is looking in the wrong direction.
Also, what looks better for feminism? A comment that belongs in little league, or a woman making an astute, well-thought-out comment? Her comment just screams " I'm a mom, and I can't stop being one for ten minutes!"
Heidi at June 7, 2010 3:52 PM
I think the offense (not Burnett's, but other women's) comes into play because it's stupid to say something like that in reference to all women. There will be people offended when you make sweeping generalizations like that. I'm not even really debating the content of what he said, because it's probably true. But better to say "this is why you're not in charge of sports," or something like that.
I am far from taking her side, but I'd be more on board with his teasing if he'd made it more personal to her rather than to all women. I'm with Heidi on this- his teasing was as weak as her original comment. Surely he could have come up with something better in response to her ridiculous comment. And I also hate when women make stupid comments like that about men as a gender. Some comedians can pull off the male/female generalizations, but most people can't without sounding either idiotic or just angry (I'm looking at later seasons of many sitcoms here).
I love being teased, but that brand of teasing is weak. I wouldn't like if a guy teased me by saying I was like all stereotypical women, because it's lame. There are many more personal things to tease me about.
That said, I wouldn't get all pearl-clutching about it if a guy did say that to me. But, then, I wouldn't have said the idiotic thing about sports to begin with.
NumberSix at June 7, 2010 9:33 PM
Number Six, I agree with you completely, especially the part about it being lame for a guy to tease you by saying you're like all stereotypical women. It's an intellectually lazy easy shot and it falls flat.
Let's just consider for a moment if every joke you or I made were captured on video and dissected ad nauseam. I'm willing to bet that they wouldn't all be winners.
Marina at June 7, 2010 11:10 PM
That's true, Marina. I imagine you constantly have to be on your toes to banter on live television. Those who aren't great at it probably don't even attempt it most of the time, thinking it's better to be safe than sound lame. Actually, now that I think about it, I wish more of them did. I have some people in mind that couldn't banter their way out of a reusable, sustainable canvas shopping bag.
I don't watch much sports programming (I watch games, but not most of the pre- or post-game stuff), but I always enjoy Mike and Mike when I see it. They have a great partnership kind of banter going and sound knowledgeable yet fun. I saw the end of a Globetrotters game the other day, and each of them was "coaching" a team. Golic lost and had to put on a Tinkerbell costume on the court. And he doesn't really have the legs for it.
NumberSix at June 8, 2010 12:01 AM
Spartee - that was a very good argument and I agree with you on that. From my own personal experience at work I can say that I most desperately wish for male bosses at work rather than female. Its just been my bad luck that my bosses the last 2 times (present included) are female !!
Personally I could deal way easier with a male boss yelling and giving me a difficult time than a female boss backstabbing and manipulating and putting me down.
I remember having this discussion with my dad the other day and he agreed with me when I mentioned that male bosses in general (there are always exceptions) tend to be better at professionally grooming and challenging their subordinates than females. I have noticed it myself in the workplace when I once had 2 bosses - 1 male and 1 female. Working with the male boss was an exhilarating, tripping pleasure where I was constantly challenged to prove my worth and be better and better. Female - felt threatened.
In many situations its the males who are capable of understanding subtleties and making difficult decisions - choices between a greater and lesser evil. In general (again rare exceptions - Thatcher, Meir, Indira Gandhi etc. who had the requisite masculine attributes) women don't have this capability and if they do it is mostly a selfish personal end in mind rather than for a greater purpose (state/business).
It would be interesting to figure out just what exactly are those masculine attributes that make these women succeed and command massive respect. Any guesses?
I know this discussion is a bit off the topic - but my 2 cents worth.
Aquamarine at June 8, 2010 12:48 AM
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