Blech...not only does it make me want to remove my uterus, it comes close to making me want to change my sex altogether. Too bad I'm comfortable with my gender and don't need "juicy" practices to enhance that.
Jessica K.
at August 9, 2010 4:49 AM
Apparently the phrase, "No one ever went broke by overestimating the stupidity of the American people," is the marketing principle of Mel DuPuy CTBF/MA.
Jay
at August 9, 2010 5:22 AM
So do we have to bring our own mirrors or is that considered passé?
Juliana
at August 9, 2010 5:36 AM
I thought women being able to work, vote, and have abortions whenevr they wanted was going to give them everything they needed.
David M.
at August 9, 2010 6:15 AM
I would be curious to see if they were spending there money on this crap, or their husbands!
David M.
at August 9, 2010 6:18 AM
David, sadly, too many (i.e., any figure more than 0) are spending their husband's money on this, and they attend class while he works for more money.
Spartee
at August 9, 2010 6:56 AM
So do we have to bring our own mirrors or is that considered passé?
They are really just con artists with degrees attached to their names.
Tony
at August 9, 2010 7:09 AM
I would spend time with my uterus just to get a break from the kids.
Laura
at August 9, 2010 7:16 AM
They were going for Divine Uterine Heaven, but it didn't look good on the checks.
Pricklypear
at August 9, 2010 7:36 AM
"Until I saw this, I never realized what a savant I was: breathing all these years, and never a bit of coaching."
What? You've been breathing without the proper permits???
Cousin Dave
at August 9, 2010 7:36 AM
Cousin Dave, you can breathe IN without the proper permits (even in California) You just cant breathe OUT. (CO2 ya know) :-)
Isabel1130
at August 9, 2010 7:51 AM
I once went to a train the trainer type seminar, and while the seminar was good, I met some real fruitbats. Nice people, who sincerely believed in what they were doing, but way off somewhere.
One was a lady who asked me what planet I was from. I thought she heard me talking favorite scifi with another attendee (she was sitting next to us). I answered "a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse" (Ford Prefect's home for those who aren't Douglas Adams fans). She snapped her fingers and said I *knew* you weren't from earth."
There was the lady who could remove spiritual implants, one who wanted to bring about world peace by having all the women of the world orgasm on the same day, a sexual healer who wanted to teach women to "release the goddess within." So I can believe these women sincerely believe in their uterine universe.
But I'm with Amy on the fire ant thing.
Elle
at August 9, 2010 7:54 AM
I'd Rather Be Slowly Eaten By Fire Ants
No, no you wouldn't. There's at least a small chance that your brain would ooze out your ear and run away if you where forced to attend this uterine conference.
Dang, it's already happened, or I'd offer up some shekels to pay for Amy's entrance fee. So you could give us a report back from this uncharted universe.
I R A Darth Aggie
at August 9, 2010 8:16 AM
Fie, gender roles in popular culture. It's not surprising that men came up with "Puppetry of the Penis" while women produced "The Vagina Monologues." I was thinking that, therefore, men's workshops must of course be more fun, but a quick poke around the Internet disabuses me of that notion. Sigh. Bring on the fire ants.
Steve H
at August 9, 2010 8:43 AM
"I was thinking that, therefore, men's workshops must of course be more fun, but a quick poke around the Internet disabuses me of that notion."
Quick poke heh?
;)
Sabrina
at August 9, 2010 8:56 AM
Eh, whatever. Cheesy title. It's the sort of thing I would have checked out maybe when I was 18 or 19. Probably lots of giggling and guided imageries and stuff like that. Seems like something geared to the feminist college crowd. Of course the actual people who would benefit from it, those hung up about their lady parts, are unlikely to go.
I'm pretty in touch with my uterus these days. Its kicking pretty hard.
But heck, my midwife and doula are all about guided imageries, and its nice to take the time to relax.
NicoleK
at August 9, 2010 8:57 AM
Hmmm...either $250 or $300 to sit around and listen to guided imagery. I hope that includes at least lunch both days for those prices.
I wonder if it truly is an "estate" or it's a old shack on a tiny piece of property.
I worked with a woman from Malibu for seven years and she tended to blow everything up into grand delusions and proportions.
Willa
at August 9, 2010 9:10 AM
Do the women who have had hysterectomies get a plush-toy uteris to use in the workshop?
(I could see Amy at the vegan\organic lunch whipping out her bag o' salami!)
This backs up my suspicion that women's claims about men's fixation on their penises are projection. Because there really isn't much evidence that men fixate on their penises, but there is A LOT of evidence that women fixate on their vagina's and uteri. Women need to fess up about their genital worship and stop trying to put it off on men.
Kate
at August 9, 2010 11:03 AM
You know I can't help but think, if the suffregettes had known what women would do with their "freedom" they'd have been marching against the vote just to keep these idiots from making all women look bad.
Crid [CridComment at gmail]
at August 9, 2010 11:18 AM
The reference to "private Malibu estate" makes me think it's an overpriced spa.
Having said that… there's also a reference in that flyer to women who've had hysterectomies. I haven't had one, but I hear it can be hard both mentally and physically. Not sure that a spa retreat is the best way to get over a hysterectomy, but it's probably not the worst.
I think it's the language in which these events are described and marketed that's so annoying and smarmy. As MonicaP says, legitimately licensed health care providers have also advocated visualization and breathing exercises - for WOMEN DUE TO GIVE BIRTH. Maybe marketing it to women with no immediate need for birthing assistance is going a little too far?
vi
at August 9, 2010 12:05 PM
> Maybe marketing it to women with no
> immediate need for birthing assistance
> is going a little too far?
Vi, read the poster: They market this uterine awareness to women who have no uteri.
(And thanks to Kate for the plural.)
(The word I mean... We have no idea how many uteruses Kate has, though of course we all enjoyed that Cronenberg film.)
No, the point is this, Vi: Rationality is not a factor on the private estates of uterine Malibu.
Crid [CridComment at gmail]
at August 9, 2010 12:35 PM
Mel's credentials are, obviously, interesting. Must be given their close relationship to the UK's underrepresented TV and film behind-the-scenes folks.
Urban Dictionary is closer (my opinion) to the truth though:
That's what she said.
It reminds me of Fried Green Tomatoes when the main character wasn't in the mood to get acquainted with her vagina, using a hand mirror.
saiorse
at August 9, 2010 2:41 PM
At the very bottom of the picture you can just read the promise of "delicious organic vegan lunch every day." Will it be made with real organic vegans? Yes, I watched the Addams Family movie this past weekend . . .
So not only is this feminist rhetoric of a nth order, it's bat shit new age holistic healing.
David, sadly, too many (i.e., any figure more than 0) are spending their husband's money on this, and they attend class while he works for more money.
If you marry someone who is into both feminist rhetoric and new age spirituality I can't pity you. I'm guessing most of them would be spending daddies money. However a friends ex would be on the next flight out if she could swing it, luckily that's over.
Apparently, she's a breathing instructor...a certified breathing instructor. Cause when you're learning to breathe, you don't want some uncertified quack teaching you the wrong technique.
And Mel has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. The mission of USM is "Communicating the principles and practices of Spiritual Psychology worldwide through the process of Soul-Centered education." Soul-Centered education.
Eve Agee, Ph.D. is the author of The Uterine Health Companion: A Holistic Guide to Lifelong Wellness. A medical anthropologist, spiritual life coach and holistic healer, Eve provides a innovative whole-person approach to health and healing that helps each woman more easily connect to her own innate wisdom and power. In her work with groups and individuals, Eve has inspired women in North and South America, Europe, and Africa to create vibrant, healthy, and abundant lives.
Before embarking on her coaching career, Eve served in the Administration of President William J. Clinton, focusing on health and education policy. She taught at the University of Virginia and at the American Cultural Center in Lome, Togo, West Africa. She has spoken nationally on health care and education, served on a White House Task Force, and conducted research on women's health and healing in the U.S. and West Africa. Eve is included in Who’s Who in America (2007 and 2004), as well as Who’s Who in American Women (2006 and 2005) and has received numerous honors and awards. She is member of the International Coach Federation, International Breathing Association and Society of Medical Anthropology.
Eve holds a Ph.D. and M.A. in Cultural Anthropology from the University of Virginia. She also has a B.A. in International Relations from the College of William and Mary. She received her certification in Spiritual Life Coaching and Conscious Connective Breathwork Facilitation from the Center for Awareness in Richmond, Virginia and is certified in Reiki Levels I & II from Mettawork in Washington, D.C. A personal transformation expert, she has extensive training in whole foods nutrition, guided meditation, energy restoration, visualization, shamanic healing, and intuitive medicine.
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/09/id_rather_be_sl.html#comment-1741201">comment from Conan the Grammarian
"intuitive medicine"? Love that.
Always wonder whether "intuitive medicine" practitioners take their car to intuitive car mechanics. The guy never looks under the hood; he just stands in front of the car and senses that its aura is a little needing a new starter.
The guy never looks under the hood; he just stands in front of the car and senses that its aura is a little needing a new starter.
Actually they plug a USB/Serial cable into it and down load the codes. My wonder would be if the intuitive mechanic can fix said broken starter with the power of positive thinking? Can one will the copper in the coils of the starter to align with the energy of the universe and thus self repair.
vlad
at August 9, 2010 3:45 PM
Voiceover of Carl Sagan- "BILL-y-uns and BILL-y-uns of years ago..."
Or the clip from Men-in-Black when the galaxy is contained in an alien child's marble.
Juliana
at August 9, 2010 3:48 PM
Crid: A woman who's had a hysterectomy is indeed missing her uterus - BUT - as I said, it's not a small thing. It can cause drops in libido that can harm a marriage, and other hormonal issues. Isn't THAT enough of a problem? And a "hysterectomee" is still a woman. You don't stop being female because your womb is gone any more than you stop being a man if you get prostate cancer and they have to snip a bunch of other stuff too.
Amy: An intuitive car mechanic wouldn't need to read the car's aura. He would just listen to the noise and know immediately what the problem was. But then he'd have to verify by actually performing the repair. I see "intuitive" as meaning "experienced diagnostician". I know, it's less funny than your idea.
vi
at August 9, 2010 4:07 PM
"have fun at your universe conference honey... I'll just hang out with the computer." [because she never complains]
SwissArmyD
at August 9, 2010 6:56 PM
> Isn't THAT enough of a problem?
Angel, Dear Angel Vi!—
Absolutely. I mean, seriously, a woman who loses her uterus might well need some help from other people... Thoughtful people, studious people, attuned people... People versed in spirits and biology, people with the warmth and the light to help her make sense both of the feelings she's lost and the feelings she's found.
These women on the coffeeshop flyer are not those people. These are fuckwits.
The freaky part is that –as I think (and hope) Vlad was alluding to– breathing is an important metric in gauging vitality. These pathetic sisters of the beach, however bogus their certifications, are at least glancingly aware of eternal truths about how life is measured.
But the "private estate" thing is just demented.
And there's no reason not to make fun of them. They're servicing a tightly localized market. On the other side of the mountain range, 800,000 sensible women take no notice of them whatsoever.
Crid [CridComment at gmail]
at August 9, 2010 6:57 PM
> I see "intuitive" as meaning
> "experienced diagnostician".
I agree with you there, too. Everything described in a Malcolm Gladwell airport bestseller as a human superpower is actually just someone who knows what the fuck they're doing.
Crid [CridComment at gmail]
at August 9, 2010 6:59 PM
Yes, I would rather be eaten by fire ants, too. But, would you let the fire ants into your uterus? I think this profound question should be discussed there.
mpetrie98
at August 9, 2010 8:28 PM
I'd Rather Be Slowly Eaten By Fire Ants
There should be several clubs near you for that ;)
A blond woman walks into a barber shop and asks for a hair cut. (For some reason I always imagine a valley girl, but you can imagine any blond woman.) Anyway, she sits down in the barber's chair and asks for a simple hair cut. The barber says "let's take these earphones off." she says, "no, just cut around them."
The barber starts cutting her hair and the woman sits serenely.
All of a sudden the woman starts turning blue, then she falls out of the chair and flops around on the ground. The barber and the other clients try to help her, but she dies before help can arrive.
Hours later as the barber is cleaning up he finds the woman's Walkman. The headphone cord has been cut.
Thinking it was odd of the woman to keep the headphones on during her haircut, he finds another set of headphones and puts them on. . .
"breathing is an important metric in gauging vitality."
The Transformational Breathing brings back a long-suppressed traumatic memory. About 15 yrs ago I took a 4-hour Transformational Breathing workshop in Boston just to see what it was all about. They paired us up with a partner and we took turns babysitting each other while one partner would do this very rapid, very deep breathing for 15 mins or longer. Hyperventilation. It was actually hard work.
Before anyone mocks deep breathing, remember that it's used in yoga, too, and yoga is legitimate exercise.
But, I have to say, nothing happened for me during this Transformational Breathing. My chief memory of the workshop was the ultra loud, obnoxious "white folk rock n roll" music or whatever it was blaring from the loudspeakers. It was horrible. Any inner transformation I might have had (doubtful) was killed by this crushing volume. I'm very sensitive to noise but I guess the workshop facilitators had destroyed their hearing and their common sense, because even after I COMPLAINED and asked them to turn it the fuck down (OK I didn't swear, I asked politely) they didn't! How inconsiderate and egotistical is that??? I almost walked out, now I wish I had.
So that's my Transformational Breathing experience.
vi
at August 10, 2010 10:29 AM
You know, I have to go with vlad on this one. I can't feel bad for someone who marries a feminist that buys into that kind of crap. What else is she going to spend his wages on? Got to see that coming.
Its funny though, I've been married for a number of years, but I've found that the same holds true in most of my relationships in the past, and many of my friends as well:
If you give a woman unlimited access to the household funds...they're almost always emptied entirely. But...put that same frivolous person on a very limited budget...and she can stretch a damn dollar out of a nickel.
Girls are weird. I love'em, but they're weird. :)
(Addendum to that, the guys I know who blow through money, do so regardless of how much they make or their financial needs)
I'm not going to say these are 100% across the board examples of an oddity of woman kind...but it is certainly interesting to repeatedly observe.
Robert
at August 10, 2010 1:48 PM
Vi — A sincere, sensible, brilliant friend invited me to a meditation lesson once, and it was almost exactly the same experience. It was here, I think. And that's a very nice setting.
But the introductory chat -the sales pitch, so to speak- was all this stuff about zones and finding you center and operations within my abdomen that modern science hadn't mentioned before.
They really didn't mean any harm. And plenty of people people who meditate seem to get something out of it. But when the mechanism is described in terms that are not real, it's difficult to be enthused.
Crid [CridComment at gmail]
at August 10, 2010 5:56 PM
Eric, you laugh, but my midwife has a plush toy uterus! And pelvis! And placenta! And sac! And of course a baby doll. She used them to show us in 3D how the baby comes out.
Is there some alternate penis universe I'm not aware of? Weird.
Ann at August 9, 2010 12:22 AM
I'm not sure it qualifies as a universe, but there is a men's health forum called Alt Penis.
BunnyGirl at August 9, 2010 12:55 AM
Until I saw this, I never realized what a savant I was: breathing all these years, and never a bit of coaching.
Amy Alkon at August 9, 2010 1:04 AM
"Juicy mind-body healing practices"? Somebody's going to have to put the sawdust down.
Diana at August 9, 2010 2:02 AM
Blech...not only does it make me want to remove my uterus, it comes close to making me want to change my sex altogether. Too bad I'm comfortable with my gender and don't need "juicy" practices to enhance that.
Jessica K. at August 9, 2010 4:49 AM
Apparently the phrase, "No one ever went broke by overestimating the stupidity of the American people," is the marketing principle of Mel DuPuy CTBF/MA.
Jay at August 9, 2010 5:22 AM
So do we have to bring our own mirrors or is that considered passé?
Juliana at August 9, 2010 5:36 AM
I thought women being able to work, vote, and have abortions whenevr they wanted was going to give them everything they needed.
David M. at August 9, 2010 6:15 AM
I would be curious to see if they were spending there money on this crap, or their husbands!
David M. at August 9, 2010 6:18 AM
David, sadly, too many (i.e., any figure more than 0) are spending their husband's money on this, and they attend class while he works for more money.
Spartee at August 9, 2010 6:56 AM
So do we have to bring our own mirrors or is that considered passé?
Hah - best comment so far!
Amy Alkon at August 9, 2010 7:01 AM
They are really just con artists with degrees attached to their names.
Tony at August 9, 2010 7:09 AM
I would spend time with my uterus just to get a break from the kids.
Laura at August 9, 2010 7:16 AM
They were going for Divine Uterine Heaven, but it didn't look good on the checks.
Pricklypear at August 9, 2010 7:36 AM
"Until I saw this, I never realized what a savant I was: breathing all these years, and never a bit of coaching."
What? You've been breathing without the proper permits???
Cousin Dave at August 9, 2010 7:36 AM
Cousin Dave, you can breathe IN without the proper permits (even in California) You just cant breathe OUT. (CO2 ya know) :-)
Isabel1130 at August 9, 2010 7:51 AM
I once went to a train the trainer type seminar, and while the seminar was good, I met some real fruitbats. Nice people, who sincerely believed in what they were doing, but way off somewhere.
One was a lady who asked me what planet I was from. I thought she heard me talking favorite scifi with another attendee (she was sitting next to us). I answered "a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse" (Ford Prefect's home for those who aren't Douglas Adams fans). She snapped her fingers and said I *knew* you weren't from earth."
There was the lady who could remove spiritual implants, one who wanted to bring about world peace by having all the women of the world orgasm on the same day, a sexual healer who wanted to teach women to "release the goddess within." So I can believe these women sincerely believe in their uterine universe.
But I'm with Amy on the fire ant thing.
Elle at August 9, 2010 7:54 AM
I'd Rather Be Slowly Eaten By Fire Ants
No, no you wouldn't. There's at least a small chance that your brain would ooze out your ear and run away if you where forced to attend this uterine conference.
Dang, it's already happened, or I'd offer up some shekels to pay for Amy's entrance fee. So you could give us a report back from this uncharted universe.
I R A Darth Aggie at August 9, 2010 8:16 AM
Fie, gender roles in popular culture. It's not surprising that men came up with "Puppetry of the Penis" while women produced "The Vagina Monologues." I was thinking that, therefore, men's workshops must of course be more fun, but a quick poke around the Internet disabuses me of that notion. Sigh. Bring on the fire ants.
Steve H at August 9, 2010 8:43 AM
"I was thinking that, therefore, men's workshops must of course be more fun, but a quick poke around the Internet disabuses me of that notion."
Quick poke heh?
;)
Sabrina at August 9, 2010 8:56 AM
Eh, whatever. Cheesy title. It's the sort of thing I would have checked out maybe when I was 18 or 19. Probably lots of giggling and guided imageries and stuff like that. Seems like something geared to the feminist college crowd. Of course the actual people who would benefit from it, those hung up about their lady parts, are unlikely to go.
I'm pretty in touch with my uterus these days. Its kicking pretty hard.
But heck, my midwife and doula are all about guided imageries, and its nice to take the time to relax.
NicoleK at August 9, 2010 8:57 AM
Hmmm...either $250 or $300 to sit around and listen to guided imagery. I hope that includes at least lunch both days for those prices.
I wonder if it truly is an "estate" or it's a old shack on a tiny piece of property.
I worked with a woman from Malibu for seven years and she tended to blow everything up into grand delusions and proportions.
Willa at August 9, 2010 9:10 AM
Do the women who have had hysterectomies get a plush-toy uteris to use in the workshop?
(I could see Amy at the vegan\organic lunch whipping out her bag o' salami!)
Eric at August 9, 2010 10:10 AM
http://www.silentground.com/femininetreasures.htm
Try this one instead.
Any workshop (not about food)that has "juicy" in the description is probably puke inducing.
David H at August 9, 2010 10:36 AM
This backs up my suspicion that women's claims about men's fixation on their penises are projection. Because there really isn't much evidence that men fixate on their penises, but there is A LOT of evidence that women fixate on their vagina's and uteri. Women need to fess up about their genital worship and stop trying to put it off on men.
Kate at August 9, 2010 11:03 AM
You know I can't help but think, if the suffregettes had known what women would do with their "freedom" they'd have been marching against the vote just to keep these idiots from making all women look bad.
'rolling eyes right out of my head over this one'
Robert at August 9, 2010 11:06 AM
Next in line: Take your uterus to work day!
Amy Alkon at August 9, 2010 11:16 AM
CTBF/MA.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 9, 2010 11:18 AM
The reference to "private Malibu estate" makes me think it's an overpriced spa.
Having said that… there's also a reference in that flyer to women who've had hysterectomies. I haven't had one, but I hear it can be hard both mentally and physically. Not sure that a spa retreat is the best way to get over a hysterectomy, but it's probably not the worst.
I think it's the language in which these events are described and marketed that's so annoying and smarmy. As MonicaP says, legitimately licensed health care providers have also advocated visualization and breathing exercises - for WOMEN DUE TO GIVE BIRTH. Maybe marketing it to women with no immediate need for birthing assistance is going a little too far?
vi at August 9, 2010 12:05 PM
> Maybe marketing it to women with no
> immediate need for birthing assistance
> is going a little too far?
Vi, read the poster: They market this uterine awareness to women who have no uteri.
(And thanks to Kate for the plural.)
(The word I mean... We have no idea how many uteruses Kate has, though of course we all enjoyed that Cronenberg film.)
No, the point is this, Vi: Rationality is not a factor on the private estates of uterine Malibu.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 9, 2010 12:35 PM
Crid is only half-way there.
http://www.ctbf.co.uk/
Mel's credentials are, obviously, interesting. Must be given their close relationship to the UK's underrepresented TV and film behind-the-scenes folks.
Urban Dictionary is closer (my opinion) to the truth though:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=CTBMFU
Gareth at August 9, 2010 2:29 PM
Quick poke heh?
;)
That's what she said.
It reminds me of Fried Green Tomatoes when the main character wasn't in the mood to get acquainted with her vagina, using a hand mirror.
saiorse at August 9, 2010 2:41 PM
At the very bottom of the picture you can just read the promise of "delicious organic vegan lunch every day." Will it be made with real organic vegans? Yes, I watched the Addams Family movie this past weekend . . .
Nanc in Ashland at August 9, 2010 2:50 PM
CTBF: Certified Transformational Breath Facilitator.
MA: Master of Arts.
So not only is this feminist rhetoric of a nth order, it's bat shit new age holistic healing.
David, sadly, too many (i.e., any figure more than 0) are spending their husband's money on this, and they attend class while he works for more money.
If you marry someone who is into both feminist rhetoric and new age spirituality I can't pity you. I'm guessing most of them would be spending daddies money. However a friends ex would be on the next flight out if she could swing it, luckily that's over.
vlad at August 9, 2010 2:57 PM
Mel's biography page:
http://www.breatheinbreatheout.net/2.html
Apparently, she's a breathing instructor...a certified breathing instructor. Cause when you're learning to breathe, you don't want some uncertified quack teaching you the wrong technique.
And Mel has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica. The mission of USM is "Communicating the principles and practices of Spiritual Psychology worldwide through the process of Soul-Centered education." Soul-Centered education.
Conan the Grammarian at August 9, 2010 2:58 PM
Eve's biography page:
http://www.eveagee.com/about.html
Conan the Grammarian at August 9, 2010 3:20 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/09/id_rather_be_sl.html#comment-1741201">comment from Conan the Grammarian"intuitive medicine"? Love that.
Always wonder whether "intuitive medicine" practitioners take their car to intuitive car mechanics. The guy never looks under the hood; he just stands in front of the car and senses that its aura is a little needing a new starter.
Amy Alkon at August 9, 2010 3:40 PM
The guy never looks under the hood; he just stands in front of the car and senses that its aura is a little needing a new starter.
Actually they plug a USB/Serial cable into it and down load the codes. My wonder would be if the intuitive mechanic can fix said broken starter with the power of positive thinking? Can one will the copper in the coils of the starter to align with the energy of the universe and thus self repair.
vlad at August 9, 2010 3:45 PM
Voiceover of Carl Sagan- "BILL-y-uns and BILL-y-uns of years ago..."
Or the clip from Men-in-Black when the galaxy is contained in an alien child's marble.
Juliana at August 9, 2010 3:48 PM
Crid: A woman who's had a hysterectomy is indeed missing her uterus - BUT - as I said, it's not a small thing. It can cause drops in libido that can harm a marriage, and other hormonal issues. Isn't THAT enough of a problem? And a "hysterectomee" is still a woman. You don't stop being female because your womb is gone any more than you stop being a man if you get prostate cancer and they have to snip a bunch of other stuff too.
Amy: An intuitive car mechanic wouldn't need to read the car's aura. He would just listen to the noise and know immediately what the problem was. But then he'd have to verify by actually performing the repair. I see "intuitive" as meaning "experienced diagnostician". I know, it's less funny than your idea.
vi at August 9, 2010 4:07 PM
"have fun at your universe conference honey... I'll just hang out with the computer." [because she never complains]
SwissArmyD at August 9, 2010 6:56 PM
> Isn't THAT enough of a problem?
Angel, Dear Angel Vi!—
Absolutely. I mean, seriously, a woman who loses her uterus might well need some help from other people... Thoughtful people, studious people, attuned people... People versed in spirits and biology, people with the warmth and the light to help her make sense both of the feelings she's lost and the feelings she's found.
These women on the coffeeshop flyer are not those people. These are fuckwits.
The freaky part is that –as I think (and hope) Vlad was alluding to– breathing is an important metric in gauging vitality. These pathetic sisters of the beach, however bogus their certifications, are at least glancingly aware of eternal truths about how life is measured.
But the "private estate" thing is just demented.
And there's no reason not to make fun of them. They're servicing a tightly localized market. On the other side of the mountain range, 800,000 sensible women take no notice of them whatsoever.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 9, 2010 6:57 PM
> I see "intuitive" as meaning
> "experienced diagnostician".
I agree with you there, too. Everything described in a Malcolm Gladwell airport bestseller as a human superpower is actually just someone who knows what the fuck they're doing.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 9, 2010 6:59 PM
Yes, I would rather be eaten by fire ants, too. But, would you let the fire ants into your uterus? I think this profound question should be discussed there.
mpetrie98 at August 9, 2010 8:28 PM
I'd Rather Be Slowly Eaten By Fire Ants
There should be several clubs near you for that ;)
Suki at August 9, 2010 8:49 PM
A blond woman walks into a barber shop and asks for a hair cut. (For some reason I always imagine a valley girl, but you can imagine any blond woman.) Anyway, she sits down in the barber's chair and asks for a simple hair cut. The barber says "let's take these earphones off." she says, "no, just cut around them."
The barber starts cutting her hair and the woman sits serenely.
All of a sudden the woman starts turning blue, then she falls out of the chair and flops around on the ground. The barber and the other clients try to help her, but she dies before help can arrive.
Hours later as the barber is cleaning up he finds the woman's Walkman. The headphone cord has been cut.
Thinking it was odd of the woman to keep the headphones on during her haircut, he finds another set of headphones and puts them on. . .
He hears, "Breathe in... Breath out...
Terry at August 10, 2010 2:07 AM
"breathing is an important metric in gauging vitality."
The Transformational Breathing brings back a long-suppressed traumatic memory. About 15 yrs ago I took a 4-hour Transformational Breathing workshop in Boston just to see what it was all about. They paired us up with a partner and we took turns babysitting each other while one partner would do this very rapid, very deep breathing for 15 mins or longer. Hyperventilation. It was actually hard work.
Before anyone mocks deep breathing, remember that it's used in yoga, too, and yoga is legitimate exercise.
But, I have to say, nothing happened for me during this Transformational Breathing. My chief memory of the workshop was the ultra loud, obnoxious "white folk rock n roll" music or whatever it was blaring from the loudspeakers. It was horrible. Any inner transformation I might have had (doubtful) was killed by this crushing volume. I'm very sensitive to noise but I guess the workshop facilitators had destroyed their hearing and their common sense, because even after I COMPLAINED and asked them to turn it the fuck down (OK I didn't swear, I asked politely) they didn't! How inconsiderate and egotistical is that??? I almost walked out, now I wish I had.
So that's my Transformational Breathing experience.
vi at August 10, 2010 10:29 AM
You know, I have to go with vlad on this one. I can't feel bad for someone who marries a feminist that buys into that kind of crap. What else is she going to spend his wages on? Got to see that coming.
Its funny though, I've been married for a number of years, but I've found that the same holds true in most of my relationships in the past, and many of my friends as well:
If you give a woman unlimited access to the household funds...they're almost always emptied entirely. But...put that same frivolous person on a very limited budget...and she can stretch a damn dollar out of a nickel.
Girls are weird. I love'em, but they're weird. :)
(Addendum to that, the guys I know who blow through money, do so regardless of how much they make or their financial needs)
I'm not going to say these are 100% across the board examples of an oddity of woman kind...but it is certainly interesting to repeatedly observe.
Robert at August 10, 2010 1:48 PM
Vi — A sincere, sensible, brilliant friend invited me to a meditation lesson once, and it was almost exactly the same experience. It was here, I think. And that's a very nice setting.
But the introductory chat -the sales pitch, so to speak- was all this stuff about zones and finding you center and operations within my abdomen that modern science hadn't mentioned before.
They really didn't mean any harm. And plenty of people people who meditate seem to get something out of it. But when the mechanism is described in terms that are not real, it's difficult to be enthused.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at August 10, 2010 5:56 PM
Eric, you laugh, but my midwife has a plush toy uterus! And pelvis! And placenta! And sac! And of course a baby doll. She used them to show us in 3D how the baby comes out.
NicoleK at August 11, 2010 5:51 AM
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