Advice Goddess Free Swim
You pick the topic. One link, at most, per post, or your comment will leap into my spam folder. Want to post two links? Post two comments. Will try to post more blog items later.
Advice Goddess Free Swim
You pick the topic. One link, at most, per post, or your comment will leap into my spam folder. Want to post two links? Post two comments. Will try to post more blog items later.
I've got a rudeness for you that I haven't seen you mention. I call it Blackberryology, the style of "writing" that a lot of Blackberry users seem to engage in. It goes like this: First of all, there is no capitalization and no punctuation. Second, abbreviate all commonly-used words down to one letter. Third, depend totally on auto-complete; when you start a word, accept whatever word the auto-complete comes up with, even if it isn't the word you intended. And if the auto-complete doesn't suggest anything after two or three letters, what the hey, just skip that word and go on to the next one.
We've got a customer who has pretty much had a Blackberry grafted on. He sends most of his email from it, and the emails he sends from it are utterly indecipherable. Whenever one of us gets an email from him, we have to form a committee to try to figure out what the topic is and what he wants. The bad thing is, if he needs a question answered right away, he gets in a big hurry with his typing and that's what produces the worst emails.
He's admitted to us that he himself has a hard time reading the emails he sends. But somehow, we're supposed to.
Cousin Dave at August 13, 2010 7:10 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/13/advice_goddess_12.html#comment-1742360">comment from Cousin DaveRe: Blackberry-ology, when people write me for free advice like that I tell them they'll have to take the time to write with capital letters and in complete sentences and give actual detail when they have time to get on an actual computer. You're getting free advice. You need to make it easy for me to give. I always have a backlog of mail. Your letter isn't particularly special, and if it's annoying to read...well, not smart or considerate.
Amy Alkon at August 13, 2010 7:25 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/13/advice_goddess_12.html#comment-1742363">comment from Amy AlkonBy the way, I'm close to having Gregg put up a page where people can post pet peeves about rudeness that I will address in my next book. I'm doing two right now -- a research-intensive one, and a faster, more fun one.
Amy Alkon at August 13, 2010 7:27 AM
Sounds like that game where you whisper something in someone's ear, they whisper what they thought you said to the next person in line, etc. Than the last person in line announces the message, which usually bears no resemblance to the original.
On another note--this is something I've wanted to mention forever, and it may be that it's already been discussed, and I missed it: that Roomba in the ad that runs in the letter column looks like a Picasso South Park kid. Whew! Glad to get that off my chest.
Pricklypear at August 13, 2010 7:35 AM
This seems like a good time to test the instructions I just read. did it work?
Pricklypear at August 13, 2010 8:22 AM
Hmmm...no underline. Well, two out of three ain't bad.
Pricklypear at August 13, 2010 8:26 AM
Oh, I effin' hate auto-complete. I finally figured out how to turn the fool thing off on my Android phone. I shall now do my happy dance.
I R A Darth Aggie at August 13, 2010 8:32 AM
Somewhat related to yesterday's post about mommy intolerance... have any of the women reading this noticed that because they're female, they're more expected to put up with undesirable behaviors from children? It seems to me that our culture has taught women that they should "love" children so much that they put up with just about anything from them, and when I refuse to do just that, it seems like I'm judged more harshly because I have ovaries.
Jennifer at August 13, 2010 9:01 AM
Oh, yeah Jennifer, I've noticed. I used to feel like a traitor to my sex for getting my tubes tied at twenty-four.
I just can't get all gooey over kids. Never could. They seem to like me, though. That might be because when I have to interact with them, I tend to speak to them like they're people.
Pricklypear at August 13, 2010 9:24 AM
Jennifer, my wife has made that exact same comment. She says, "I raised my kid -- I'm not raising everyone else's!"
Cousin Dave at August 13, 2010 9:36 AM
Free swim? Great!
How about the American middle class and small business owners being bled dry come 2011?
http://www.atr.org/?content=jan1taxes
Also, another little poop-chunk brought to us by Obama's Healthcare legislation - your healthcare benefits will now show up as income on your W-2's starting 2011!
Feebie at August 13, 2010 9:59 AM
As long as we're ranting about kids and parents, I'd like to add my disdain for parents who don't understand what "adults only" means.
Friends of ours invited us out on their monthly date night, which for them can include friends but does not include their three kids. They found a baby sitter. Another friend of ours invited herself, her husband and her 4-year-old to tag along.
We went to an expensive sushi restaurant, where the kid (who, admittedly, was well-behaved) ate chicken nuggets from McDonald's, because all she will eat is chicken nuggets, and we were all admonished to watch our language because of the child.
Even a well-behaved child means no off-color jokes, no cursing, just child-friendly conversation. It baffles me how one set of friends can find a sitter for their three kids, but another friend can't part with her one child for even an evening.
MonicaP at August 13, 2010 10:05 AM
I was at a restaurant last night where two mothers let their children run rampant, even out of their line of sight, through the restaurant. As I'm sometimes an employee, I kept my mouth shut, but wished I could have said something to them. It's dangerous--not only to the children, but to the employees, who are carrying hot plates and already having to maneuver around tables and other patrons (heck, it could even be dangerous to other patrons). While the two mothers sat there drinking wine, oblivious to their spawn, I saw another couple with a crying baby calmly ask for their check and boxes, pack up and leave as quickly as possible when their child couldn't be calmed by a few moments of cooing, shushing, and gentle bouncing. It's good to see both extremes in the same place, and one can only hope that the attitude of the latter parents rubs off on the former. I doubt it, though, since one mother asked the server jokingly if she'd take her child. The server responded with a smile, "You couldn't tip me enough."
Also, saw this earlier this morning about state pensions. I'm sure it's already made it's way to you, but I was curious about your thoughts. Colorado's state pension overhaul--a good start, too much, or not nearly enough?
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/07/your-money/07money.html
Kelli at August 13, 2010 10:49 AM
When I was waiting tables the worst I saw was two toddlers and a four year old. The four year old was drawing on the plates with the complimentary crayons. The toddlers were running through the restaurant and seeing how many places they could leave their shoes. Then while I was carrying a tray full of hot coffee and glasses of water (seven of each - the memory has been seared into my brain) one of the toddlers jumps right in front of me (like practically grabs my legs) as I was walking out of the kitchen and yells "boo!"
Somehow I managed to land on the floor without spilling coffee and glass on myself or the kid or anyone else. The kid starts wailing out of surprise and I'm sitting on the floor in the middle of a puddle of scalding coffee and broken dishes, still in front of the kitchen door. The parents start yelling at me for nearly dropping a tray on their kid. The manager actually told them to leave and not come back. Since they were my table and I was stiffed he actually paid me out of his own pocket for my extraordinary gymnastic feat. (He was there when it happened and I'm sure visions of lawsuits were dancing in his head). So there was a happy ending at least.
Elle at August 13, 2010 11:41 AM
> The manager actually told them to leave and not come back. Since they were my table and I was stiffed he actually paid me out of his own pocket for my extraordinary gymnastic feat.
Good bosses are a joy to behold.
I try to live up to such standards myself. I probably fail a lot, but I try.
TJIC at August 13, 2010 12:08 PM
*****Somewhat related to yesterday's post about mommy intolerance... have any of the women reading this noticed that because they're female, they're more expected to put up with undesirable behaviors from children? It seems to me that our culture has taught women that they should "love" children so much that they put up with just about anything from them, and when I refuse to do just that, it seems like I'm judged more harshly because I have ovaries. *****
This, this, a thousand times this. And GOD FORBID you give a misbehaving kid the stink eye because THEN you are an evil child hater. *eyeroll*
Oh, and you're supposed to fall all over yourself with gratitude when someone asks you to watch their demon spawn for ten minutes (this cheeses me off, ESPECIALLY if some asshat brings her kids to the office).
Actually, most of them don't ask. They just plop the kid down and walk away and assume the nearest uterus will take care of it. Well honey, my uterus has been gone for 13 years now, so it won't be me!
And Kelli, if I didn't know better I would have said you were at my local bar. I saw two mothers there with about 5 kids between them anywhere from ages 4-8 who were running all over the bar playing hide-and-seek, crawling over and under the tables and the foosball machine, all while both women completely ignored it. Seriously, I watched for a good half hour and NOT ONCE did I see either of them look up from their beers to see what those kids were doing. NOT ONCE.
Ann at August 13, 2010 1:23 PM
BTW Amy- since your friend John Callahan died, I ordered his book and have been enjoying it very much. It's an interesting insight into a depressionh addled alcoholic who almost destroyed his life. I'm about halfway though, rooting for his redemption.
Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot
Eric at August 13, 2010 2:09 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/08/13/advice_goddess_12.html#comment-1742554">comment from EricSo nice - thanks for letting me know. Love that one.
Amy Alkon at August 13, 2010 4:54 PM
I doubt it, though, since one mother asked the server jokingly if she'd take her child. The server responded with a smile, "You couldn't tip me enough."
A better response I heard some time ago to a similar question: Oh, let me get you the number of a great adoption agency that helped me out. They are sure the new parents actually want a kid and will take care of it so you don't feel guilt!
well, something like that. I am forgetting part of it. It came across like she was serious.
The Former Banker at August 14, 2010 12:42 AM
My boyfriend swears one day he will walk up to a parent who is allowing their kid to scream blue murder in a restaurant, put on a concerned face, and say, "OMG! Is that kid okay? Did you HURT it? Do I need to call someone?"
I told him he can't do it with me there, because the minute the parent sees me LMAO at our table, the jig will be up. I'd love to see the look on the offending parent's face, though!
Ann at August 14, 2010 1:56 PM
Whenever I'm out to dinner and someone brings their kids along to an adults only function I go out of my way use adult laungage and try to teach their kids new words.
lujlp at August 14, 2010 5:22 PM
Ah, lujip, you are a woman after my own heart. I do that too. :D
It's really cute to hear a three-year-old say "asshat". :D
Ann at August 15, 2010 9:19 PM
Thanks, but I'm a guy
lujlp at August 17, 2010 12:57 AM
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