Targeting Undocumented A-Listers
Great piece by my pal Doug McIntyre, the KABC radio host and LA Daily News columnist, on how, thanks to California Assemblyman Anthony Portantino, you could end up getting six months in jail for crashing the Golden Globes, while you get amnesty for crashing America:
In an age of crazies when phonies can crash a White House state dinner - and please don't send me your Obama jokes - SAG is rightly concerned for the safety of their high-profile members. They want to close a loophole in the law by making it a crime to crash the endless procession of glamorous Hollywood red carpet events like the Oscars, Emmys and Golden Globes.In a press statement, SAG highlighted the problem: "Trespassing by its very nature puts people at risk - Illegal entry poses a threat to security - All trespassers present a real and viable danger to the public and the law must have teeth."
Portantino's bill would make red carpet crashing punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.
Let's read SAG's statement again:
"Trespassing by its very nature puts people at risk - Illegal entry poses a threat to security - All trespassers present a real and viable danger to the public and the law must have teeth."
Which worries you? The jackass American who wants to get into the Oscars and stand behind Angelina Jolie making a peace sign for the evening news? Orm might it be the jackass Al-Qaeda guy who wants to get into the USA so he can stand in a busy mall and pull the ripcord on his bomb vest? Because they aren't doing diddly to stop him.
Sorry, SAG, we already have far too many laws, far too many things the ordinary non-criminal person can be arrested for. SAG should feel free to pursue gate crashers in civil court, if they so desire. Or, they could just hire better security. Or, they could ask those movie stars making millions of dollars a year to endure the financial hardship of hiring a bodyguard or two, just to be extra-sure. In the words of "Save the Children" spokegirl Sally Struthers, "For the price of one of the backs of a Harry Winston diamond earring..."
Oh, and just a wee, utterly unsupported little bit of speculation: How many think Portantino will be invited to the Oscars and/or some other event to thank him for getting behind this measure, and how many think that thought may have had something to do with his support?
What's this going to prohibit that isn't already illegal? Why is there a need for enhanced penalties?
Frankly I don't remember having ever heard of a celebrity being harmed at one of these galas. I'm sure that it would have made the news. They're probably just tired of dealing with gate crashing publicity hounds. But that's what you're going to get when you strive to create a cult of celebrity.
There's also a risk that other interests will try to use such a law to punish unapproved coverage of similar gatherings - e.g. symposiums.
jackalope at August 23, 2010 7:02 AM
Yep, now they'll have to have a special Oscar for the best protective measures taken to protect celebrities out celebrating their celebrity.
Pricklypear at August 23, 2010 7:33 AM
All around agree with you Amy- good post! It really smacks of a two tier system of lawmaking.
Eric at August 23, 2010 8:08 AM
funny, 'coulda sworn tresspass is already a minor crime... that you can be forcibly removed for. Guess their security must suck, and with an enhanced law on the books? Well, you know there will need to be more police pressance. Who is picking up the TAB for that?
SwissArmyD at August 23, 2010 9:48 AM
I don't consider gate-crashing a crime that deserves even a moment of jail time, let alone six months. It's unconscionable.
kishke at August 23, 2010 1:52 PM
I liked the toilet post batter than this one.
Maybe Alkon can go on a full-time toilet roll...just plunge in, and cover toilets automatically for a while. Flush the other copy where it belongs.
It's a dirty job, butt someone has to do it.
Imagine the zeal Alkon would feel upon outing that lout who used the last square...and did not tell management! That is way better than upbrading a cell-phone abuser.
Do the digital thing, You Tube, and the poor sap would become globally recognized as the "Toilet Roll Hog."
They would run it before the relevant Seinelf episode--incurring repeat fame and admiration for Alkon every time!
Everywhere people would think of Alkon and the never-ending battle for clean restrooms.
BOTU at August 23, 2010 1:53 PM
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Colostrum Plus at August 23, 2010 4:53 PM
Imagine what will happen if an "undocumented worker" crashes the Oscars! That should produce a variant of the buttered-toast-strapped-to-a-cat paradox.
Radwaste at August 24, 2010 6:48 AM
Good article. Of course, one of the gate crashers might be a loony fan who wants to kill a celebrity, but still, the dangers of terrorism are scarier to me than loony fans. Then again, well, I'm not a celebrity. If I were, the looney fans might seem much more likely to be a problem.
KrisL at August 24, 2010 6:39 PM
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