Arrive Two Hours Before Your Flight So Some Guy Can Grab Your Balls
I think I got one of the new, invasive TSA feel-ups they're talking about.
I got it from a female TSA agent in January when I went to a conference in Vegas and was flying out to San Francisco. As I blogged then:
This morning, around 5:30 am, I got body-scanned and felt up at the Vegas airport. The lady at the scanner who gave me the boob grab explained, "We couldn't get a clear image" (of my boobs, she meant). Yeah, it's called underwire, lady.
By the way, if I wanted strangers to have a clear picture of my boobs, I'd do a sex video and post it on YouTube.
And if I wanted to get that intimate with a woman, I'd be in a relationship with somebody named Geri or Gina instead of Gregg.
Lesley Ciarula Taylor writes for thestar.com about new screening methods the TSA is testing at Logan and McCarran airports:
Rather than the old method that restricted pat downs to the backs of hands and made genitals and breasts off-limits, the new one allows TSA agents at those airports to use the palms of their hands to "slide down" someone's clothes."Essentially, people being are being groped," Calabrese told the Star on Tuesday. "The inside of their thighs. Women's breasts are being cupped."
Travellers are candidates for an "enhanced pat down" if they decline to go through a full body scan machine or set off a metal detector but the source can't be found, according to the TSA's Blogger Bob.
"Pat downs are designed to address potentially dangerous items, like improvised devices and their components, concealed on the body," TSA spokesman Greg Soule said.
Do you feel safer?
How will I explain to my girlfriend when this results in a $20 lap-dance fee?
And no I don't feel safer.
The Former Banker at September 5, 2010 1:21 AM
Yet more proof that the security should be put back into the hands of the individual airlines and airports. The federal bureaucracy is making the usual mess out of anything it gets its hands on.
bradley13 at September 5, 2010 5:00 AM
I go to renaissance festivals. One of my favorite knife seller's has reported that several of their bodice knives (3 in long -- worn around the neck) have made it through TSA security.
I say if you don't have your own gun or tazer when you go through security -- you get handed a tazer -- returnable on debarking at your final destination. An armed society is a polite one.
No -- I don't feel safer.
Jim P. at September 5, 2010 5:17 AM
This makes me think I should be packin' a la Lesley Feinberg next time I fly, you know, to give them a surprise.
NicoleK at September 5, 2010 6:20 AM
Again - the Israeli experience shows that NONE of this is necessary. And it probably contributes zip to security.
This is similar to your post on kids with tracking devices - it's training the public to be docile.
Ben David at September 5, 2010 6:34 AM
Do I feel any safer? Not really, although if I get to pick which guy gropes me, I might be sold on the idea.
Kidding aside, we should take a clue from Israel. They have the right idea. And their system is safer and more efficient.
Patrick at September 5, 2010 6:35 AM
"Advanced Imaging Technology" is a euphemism created to make people think they are getting "scanned." No one is getting "scanned" -- they are getting strip searched.
The fundamental privacy issue is whether our government has the right to make strip searches routine and mandatory.
There is no question that these machines violate the 4th Amendment.
There are also health issues. Researchers are already coming out saying that the machines aren't safe and could cause cancer.
Please check out the brochure at:
http://www.nudeoscope.com
http://dontscan.us
http://dontscan.me
and join us on Facebook
All Facebook Against Airport Full Body Scanners
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=239458517874
and join in on Flyertalk.com
Organized resistance to WBI/invasive patdowns
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/travel-safety-security/1119548-organized-resistance-wbi-invasive-patdowns.html
PUT A STOP TO THE TYRANNY!
Wimpie at September 5, 2010 7:43 AM
I wish I could say, "No, thanks, I already got mine at home."
The best was when, in Toronto, going through US security on the way back to the States, the guy named Mohammed let me keep my tweezers, although there was that question of whether I might use them to break into the cockpit, pluck the pilot's eyebrows, and bring down the plane.
Amy Alkon at September 5, 2010 8:07 AM
I wouldn't say that the Israeli flying experience is less of a hassle... the long interview and thorough rummaging of my luggage was a much bigger pain in the ass.
NicoleK at September 5, 2010 8:30 AM
I wonder what happens if they discover a man with an erection... it's had to have happened.
Eric at September 5, 2010 8:33 AM
I recently had my dd dump her backpack in preparation for her return to school. I watched as she pulled no less than 4 pairs of scissors out of it. Now, we have travelled all summer long with that backpack and NEVER once were we stopped by TSA. Moral of story... arm your children.
sheepmommy at September 5, 2010 10:29 AM
So will they do this to a woman in a burka? I somehow doubt it, seeing as how it would go against some religious principle, I'm sure, even in private.
I have to fly to Texas in February. If TSA so much as suggests they grope me to find my underwire bra, or anything else, I'm refusing, suggesting they arrest me, and calling my lawyer.
Fuck TSA.
Jessica F. at September 5, 2010 10:48 AM
I'm of two minds on this - one the one hand, if TSA is going to be frisking passengers, I'd rather that the TSA did a full frisking (to include the groin and breasts) than a half-hearted patdown which harasses passengers but does little for security. On the other hand, should the TSA be frisking passengers at all?
Zach at September 5, 2010 12:58 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/09/05/arrive_two_hour.html#comment-1750500">comment from ZachIf a terrorist who isn't an utter idiot wants to blow up a plane, they will. Surely, they're laughing at us, with all the hours of time we lose getting felt up at airports. I've probably lost 20 hours this year so the government can try to make sure that I'm not going to blow up the plane for Allah. (And let's all be clear that that's why we're going through this. It isn't because the Jews or the Quakers are bringing down planes because people don't eat enough matzo balls or wear uncomfortable black shoes.)
Amy Alkon at September 5, 2010 1:57 PM
I have friends who are Muslims, and I don't like the idea of stereotyping, but It seems a bit much how far the US is going to avoid it. If all of the terrorists were blonde Swedes, wouldn't we be giving them a harder time?
I'm not sure how Israel does this, but since they're in a position where they must deal with this type of thing regularly, seems like we should know more about what they do.
KrisL at September 5, 2010 2:58 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/09/05/arrive_two_hour.html#comment-1750518">comment from KrisLDo the Swedes you know belong to a religion that commands them to convert or kill people who aren't Swedish?
I don't care what religion you are, as long as your religion doesn't command you to do that. Islam does.
As I've explained before:
There are two Islams. One is a religion, practiced by many perfectly nice people who have no idea what the Quran says. They are the Muslim version of Christmas Christians.
The others practice Islam as commanded by the Quran: as totalitarianism masquerading as religion. These are the people flying into buildings for Allah -- and they are good Muslims, under the Quran for doing so.
Amy Alkon at September 5, 2010 4:51 PM
Hey, I just got felt up this morning at Pearson. I wasn't getting any at home-at least I got some at the airport. Safer? No. I could've been hiding anything in my LaSenza pushup gel bra.
Rosemary at September 5, 2010 5:19 PM
I'd be interested to hear some statistics on exactly how many terrorists have been caught trying to sneak past TSA security. To the best of my knowledge, the number is somewhere around zero. Surely if they actually HAD caught a terrorist this way, we would have heard all about it.
What these security measures do guarantee is that when terrorists do get a weapon on board, there is no one present who is equipped to defend themselves.
Jay at September 6, 2010 12:16 AM
I have been in medicine for 40 years and can assure you that the scans being used are dangerous to your health. Remember, these are the people that said asbestos was ok for use.
In the medical world we avoid any radiation exposue and only relunctantly subject someone to any form of xray. The radiation that is being used here was used by the dermatologist until it was found to cause cancer.
We must remember that it is only people who are Muslim that seem to want to harm innocent people. Therefore, if you want to stop world terrorism, you stop Muslims from using planes or any other form of transportation until they change their religion to a more modern form.
Any body with any intelligence and resources can over come any security at an airport. The only reason that we have not had another 9/11 is that they don't want to. They won. We have lost our rights and are afraid of them. What more can they do?
David at September 6, 2010 1:11 PM
It's time to fire TSA. We've spent more than we spent to put man on the moon and we've caught exactly zero terrorists. And the government always does such a good job: soon these kinds of jackasses will be the ones denying you medical care.
John S at September 7, 2010 8:49 PM
What these security measures do guarantee is that when terrorists do get a weapon on board, there is no one present who is equipped to defend themselves.
I know. I used to have my trusty little Swiss Army knife. I stopped carrying it in my purse, because I figured it would be taken from me if I forgot to remove it before a trip.
So many lost opportunities to save the day for someone who had a loose thread, needed a bottle opener or cork screw. On a plane I could stab a terrorist on the back of his hand at least and slow him down.
saiorse at September 8, 2010 5:25 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/09/05/arrive_two_hour.html#comment-1752215">comment from saiorseI plan to stick my tongue out at terrorists and go "nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah." Only weapon I'll have, except for all the times the TSA employees miss my dull tweezers.
Amy Alkon at September 8, 2010 6:41 PM
It will end when the TSA screening becomes so burdensome (due to the continued accretion of reactive patches) that commercial passenger air travel becomes impractical and ceases to operate in the United States.
The TSA Administrator will then hold a press conference triumphantly declaring "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." And for the one and only time, a TSA official will be giving the public the complete and honest truth. Because the truth is that the only truly effective way to eliminate the threat of terrorist attacks on aviation is to eliminate aviation.
Then all the TSOs will be redeployed at train stations, bus stations, subway stations, and highway checkpoints. There they will administer the Homeland Security Genital Squeeze Inspection, to which all persons in the Homeland voluntarily consent whenever they leave their homes, in accordance with the Revised Standard Operating Procedure (classified Tippy-Top Secret).
Wimpie at September 9, 2010 4:51 PM
It's actually ridiculously easy for someone to makeshift a weapon if they prepare ahead of time anyway. One of the simplest is to carry a couple of blank CDs with you. Break it in half and you can do enough damage to someone to make them think twice anyway. Something that is carried in a heavier plastic case (broken diagonally) can provide a stiff enough and sharp enough weapon to kill someone.
There are many other examples, and I'm sure if I tried, I could figure out several ways to get explosives through the security line. So yeah, they're pretty much wasting their time.
WayneB at September 11, 2010 10:18 PM
I'm glad I don't have to fly with you guys. Flying is a privilege not a right. If you are not willing to go thru a scan or an enhanced pat down, then I don't want you on my plane.
Jim in KY at January 18, 2011 11:14 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/09/05/arrive_two_hour.html#comment-1824856">comment from Jim in KYFlying is a standard way of getting around. These search methods don't make you safer -- so you're agreeing to them why?
Amy Alkon at January 18, 2011 11:21 AM
Flying may be standard, but it's still a privilege. Read the fine print. When you buy the ticket, you agree to their terms, not yours. If you don't like their terms, then don't make a contract with them. When I buy a sports event ticket, I agree to a search. I know what I'm getting in to and shouldn't complain when it happens.
Jim in KY at January 19, 2011 3:03 PM
Leave a comment