Loved This Story
Via MetaFilter, Santa comes early and anonymously:
Someone left a $125 Target gift card on our car either this morning or last night. Who???So my wife found this gift card on her car this morning. It was in an envelope, and was addressed to "The Brocktoon Family". We have no idea who did this. We aren't terribly social people, and we can't think of anyone we might have "touched" recently who could actually afford to do this (we certainly couldn't). Who or what organization might have done this, or how would we go about tracking this person down?
I did find it a little jerky that they're looking to track the giver down.
So, this Christmas and beyond, got any plans to do small kindnesses for strangers? Anybody done something like this for you?
My friends and neighbors sent me greetings once, but that doesn't happen since Vietnam ended.
MarkD at December 19, 2010 4:58 AM
How "jerky" to want to thank someone who does you a kindness!
hanmeng at December 19, 2010 5:11 AM
Well hanmeng, I don't know if I'd have chosen the word "jerky", but is at least a little something other than gracious. Obviously the giver wished to give anonymously, is it so much to honour that wish and simply accept it in the good spirit with which it was given?
Robert at December 19, 2010 5:56 AM
I've been the anonymous giver in the past. I usually do it when I know a person (or family) is having problems making ends meet.
Here are some motives for being anonymous about it:
Those are just the one's that come off the top of my head.
I always watch these shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition. The family of five with the youngest needing massive health care support (or dad/mom became suddenly disabled) and the house suffered for it -- not a big deal. The family of seven that still has horses and aren't farming -- don't you have enough self-respect to take responsibility for your choices?
Jim P. at December 19, 2010 6:14 AM
How "jerky" to want to thank someone who does you a kindness!
The reason that someone gives a gift anonymously is because they wish to remain anonymous. By hunting them down, you're deliberately contravening their wishes - how is that appropriate to thanking them?
It is kind of jerky.
Norm at December 19, 2010 7:13 AM
> I did find it a little jerky that they're
> looking to track the giver down.
When you're poor, surprise indebtedness has cruelty all its own.
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at December 19, 2010 8:08 AM
I try to do small things when I can since finances are limited. A few weeks ago, I went to New Jersey and my EZ Pass wasn't working so every toll I went through, I paid for the car behind me. I asked the toll booth operator to wish the driver a Happy Holidays and continue the random act of kindness thing. I also sent an acquaintance a pointsettia plant anonymously. She's been sort of down and I wanted to let her know that there are people who think highly of her. I get great satisfaction from the anonymous thing because it gives someone the feeling that there are people who care and it doesn't necessarily have to be family or a close friend.
Kristen at December 19, 2010 8:11 AM
I'm making a Costco run this afternoon, and you've enticed me to purchase two boxes of Citiblocs for the Toys for Tots bin. I saw a cool time lapse video with them, and my boy went nuts over them, and has been building things every day since we gave them to him.
http://www.dump.com/2010/12/11/bullet-physics-engine-simulates-the-creation-and-destruction-of-keva-planks-video/
PS- And I think Crid is on the money with his comment. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Eric at December 19, 2010 8:27 AM
Five or six years ago, a family down the street was going through a rough time because the husband walked out.
That Christmas, my wife put a blank envelope containing a non-trivial amount of cash in their mailbox.
Have to admit, that didn't occur to me at the time.
Hard to know which is worse, the cruelty of the surprise indebtedness, or the indebtedness that gift was intended to help alleviate.
Hey Skipper at December 19, 2010 8:55 AM
That's so super, Eric. I write about doing good deeds in "I See Rude People." You're doing something substantial, but even doing small kindnesses for strangers (which we can all do every day) makes a difference -- both for other people, and for the doer. Doing kind deeds for others is a way research actually shows that people increase their happiness. I put some of that research in my book to support the idea that it's actually in your self-interest to be kind and generous.
Amy Alkon at December 19, 2010 8:56 AM
"If something seems too good to be true, best to shoot it just in case."
-- Fiona Glenanne
I R A Darth Aggie at December 19, 2010 9:09 AM
I put some Hot Wheels and a My Little Pony in the Toys for Tots box last week.
There was an interesting story in the NY Times about an anonymous gift-giver in the mid-west during the Great Depression. http://mobile.nytimes.com/2010/11/08/us/08canton.xml
I don't know what to make of it.
Jason S. at December 19, 2010 9:46 AM
> shoot it just in case.
Brilliant
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at December 19, 2010 10:47 AM
Aw shit, she's fictional
Crid [cridcomment at gmail] at December 19, 2010 10:48 AM
Every Christmas Eve, I donate online to a charity from each city I've lived in. I just moved again this year, so adding Austin to the list.
sofar at December 19, 2010 11:47 AM
When you're poor, surprise indebtedness has cruelty all its own.
That was essentially my point 4 above.
I have heard stories of out of the Great Depression where the recipients would have charity workers show up with Christmas gifts for the kids and a huge meal and the gifters would essentially stand around and say "You need to be grateful for our gifts."
Meanwhile -- the parents had a few small gifts that were totally overshadowed by the charity, and the parents were thinking "My pantry is bare the other 364 days of the year, but we have to suck down 4 days worth of food in two hours."
Jim P. at December 19, 2010 1:03 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1804254">comment from Jim P.But, nobody's "stand(ing) over" them -- they left an anonymous gift card on their car. Somebody I did some writing for a while back sent me three $300 gift certificates for a restaurant they own in the mail. They're a very well-to-do couple, and it probably wasn't a big deal financially to them, but it meant a lot to me. I gave one to my neighbors to celebrate their anniversary (the husband lost the main one of his two jobs two years ago, and hasn't gotten another second job to replace it), gave the other to my assistant, and took out my friends Kate and Jill. It was so nice of them, and I just loved being able to be the good fairy for a few people in my life who are nice and deserving. And then, I thought, "Well, who would I go to dinner with if I had to pay?" Kate and Jill. Okay, they get a free dinner!
Amy Alkon at December 19, 2010 1:17 PM
But, nobody's "stand(ing) over" them -- they left an anonymous gift card on their car.
I'm not saying that I would stand over someone. I won't characterize myself as "shy", but counting the number of true friends at my age (40+) still has more than a few toes left over. (Friends help you move, true friends help you move bodies, your best friends compete to carry your casket.)
Looking for the people who want to be anonymous is tacky. When I give a gift just because it is a random act of kindness, and I know the person(s) is in the straits, I want the recipient to appreciate the gift, and not the giver.
It is a matter of having empathy and sympathy while lacking the narcissistic need to let anyone other than me (or the giver) know who did it.
My point is the same as Crid's -- Making the poor or unfortunate, in the moment, know who gave them the gift, and feel obligated to the giver is, IMHO, narcissistic.
By being anonymous -- just try to thank everyone and pay it forward.
Jim P. at December 19, 2010 1:56 PM
I once had a guy behind me in line pay for $120 worth of my groceries. The night before I had dropped my id case with my credit card and license (as well as my student id, cash, and car keys), so I was using my checkbook for one of the first times. After the cashier had rang up all my groceries, I tried to pay with a check and she told me they couldn't accept my check without a photo id. I was digging through my purse frantically trying to find some kind of id and thinking I was going to have to go put all my groceries back, when the man behind me said he'd take care of it. He was a middle aged businessman type with 2 young kids. I offered to write him a personal check for the amount, but he said no he'd take care of it and just paid the whole thing.
I was so overcome with gratitude that I almost started crying. I didn't really need the money, but it was such a nice thing to do, especially when I had been so upset about losing all my stuff. When I got back to my apartment, I had a message from a girl who found my id case, so I was able to get everything back, which saved me a couple hundred dollars plus hours of time and inconvenience replacing everything. So I had a double-whammy of kindness that day.
Shannon at December 19, 2010 4:22 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1804420">comment from ShannonWow - how absolutely wonderful.
Amy Alkon at December 19, 2010 4:24 PM
Look, the best thing I ever read about charity was in a movie star piece... My every check, gift and courtesy has been as anonymous as possible ever since.
I'm just sayin'— When someone is struggling to get out of poverty, they usually know their own behavior is part of the problem. (It almost always is in the United States.) When they're trying to see the world a little more clearly than they did before, it's probably kinda troubling to have mysterious packets of wealth turning up. They won't know what buttons they pushed to make it happen, and sometimes they need to know.
In the worst case, they could presume that there's a magical guardian angel hanging over their shoulder when there isn't. And a lot of the less-than-worst cases have problems, too.
We all enjoy the Lone Ranger fantasy: They never even had a chance to thank me!
But charity's as delicate a maneuver as anything else in life... There's no reason to think we can be flippant about it and get good results.
_____________________________
PS- MarkD's first comment was a sleeper.
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 19, 2010 5:33 PM
I'm just sayin'— When someone is struggling to get out of poverty, they usually know their own behavior is part of the problem. (It almost always is in the United States.) When they're trying to see the world a little more clearly than they did before, it's probably kinda troubling to have mysterious packets of wealth turning up. They won't know what buttons they pushed to make it happen, and sometimes they need to know.
True -- but every once in a while -- let the giver make the decision and don't ask questions. Look at this waitress that got a $10,000 tip. Let the giver determine your worthiness and say thanks. Or as an anonymous gift understand that someone thinks enough of you that they want you to move ahead.
Jim P. at December 19, 2010 7:31 PM
Yes, sometimes they need to know why the sudden turn of luck. And most times they probably don't. Not everyone is in need through some fault of their own, and not every anonymous donation is intended to turn someone's life around. Sometimes it's just a beautiful moment.
Best gift I ever got: The day before chemo forced me to shave my head I was shopping for hats at uber expensive Fred Siegel, so it's a given I wasn't in dire need. But I'm not rich, either, and I was torn between the greatest hat ever and a less great/less expensive hat. That's when I realized I was tracking hair all over the department. My hair! I put down the two hats, said I'd be back, returned bald the next day, and learned that a stranger who had been shopping there at the same time had bought me the fabulous hat. Didn't even leave a note or message.
And that hat -- and that story --helped save my life. Bring on the anonymity!
What the rabbi told Spielberg was based on the Jewish principle of tzedakah, which people translate as charity but which actually means righteousness or justice. You do it anonymously and you do it to right the world -- not to feel good or make someone else feel good or to brag about what you did anonymously.
elementary at December 19, 2010 8:09 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1804490">comment from elementaryWow, elementary...thanks for telling your story. I think I might want to put some of these in my next book. I'll look up people's e-mail addresses within my software (they're visible to me if you post them but nobody else) and get your written permission. Please keep posting these. They're really moving.
Amy Alkon at December 19, 2010 8:33 PM
While I agree that it's tacky to try to track down the anonymous giver, I can see where it might be awkward to receive something like that. Ideally, the gift would be totally anonymous and the recipient would not be able to find out who gave it. But, as Jim P. said, there is a finite number of possibilities for who the giver could be. If you're the only one in your social circle with disposable income, it wouldn't be hard to figure out the gift came from you. Or if you do this sort of thing a lot, then being the latest in a pattern could be awkward for them as well. The guy says it may be some sort of organization, but I don't know how they would find his car without help from someone else he knows, which would be even more awkward. It would almost have to be from someone at least semi-close (or a friend of someone semi-close). It could be a friend with the means to make things a little easier on you, or it could be a friend who wants to be "anonymous": i.e., he acts all benevolent and "I don't know what you're talking about, wink wink", but he knows you know it was him. No way to tell.
I'm not saying that it isn't jerky to track down whomever gave the gift, because I think it kind of is; I'm just saying that there are any number of mitigating factors. Whatever those are, my advice to the guy is the same: choose to go with the good intentions of the gift (a la Miss Manners), thank your lucky stars you have someone that will do that for you without (I hope) wanting you to be in his debt, use the gift with zero guilt and do something nice for someone else.
elementary, your story is really lovely. Like the guy who paid for Shannon's groceries, this is the best kind of anonymous giver: the one who has the means to help and doesn't need anything in return except the good feeling he gets from doing something nice. I think we underestimate the impact of just making someone happy. The noble thing to do would have been to somehow help pay for elementary's treatment or to make a donation to a cancer charity. But the giver knew she could give elementary a little bit of joy in that moment, which turned out to be a major part of her recovery. I love when my theory that people aren't all assholes is reinforced.
MarkD: thanks for the giggle I got from your first comment!
NumberSix at December 19, 2010 8:48 PM
*****When you're poor, surprise indebtedness has cruelty all its own.*****
Yeah, it really does. Been there. It's really hard for me to accept a kindness and not return it, regardless of the giver's intentions. I think, however, that's a flaw in my personality, not in the personality of the giver.
When my husband died, so many people came out of the woodwork to be there for me that it was overwhelming. All the people I worked with "passed the hat" to the tune of almost $200. These are people who had families of their own and were barely scraping by, yet they pulled out whatever was in their pockets and gave it to me. That touched me in a way I can't even describe. People talk about their workmates being like family, but mine WERE. They closed my plant 3 months ago, and I miss those people as if my entire family went down in a plane crash. We all did for each other, all the time. Even if the person annoyed the crap out of you, if they had a tragedy you pulled the three bucks you had in your pocket out and put it in the envelope. It was just that way.
I also had a friend stop by with a big bag of groceries - toilet paper, bread, milk, etc. - stuff you need, but you don't have time to get because you're planning a funeral and half your family has just blown into town.
Small things, but to this day it makes me cry happy tears to know I have/had such wonderful, caring people around me.
My way to thank those people (other than the typical thank-you card) was to pay it forward. When my cousin's husband died, I sent her some cash. When my best friend's husband died, I showed up at the house with a gift card for the local grocery store (I had no idea what she needed but I did know they had never had a bunch of money, and I also knew from experience that banking and whatnot might be difficult until she got a death certificate) and though they knew who I was, I still didn't expect to be thanked in any way for it.
Giving is its own reward.
Daghain (formerly Ann; going through an identity crisis!) at December 19, 2010 9:21 PM
It's really hard for me to accept a kindness and not return it, regardless of the giver's intentions.
When my lady passed suddenly, my co-workers passed a hat along with the bereavement card. It was $80 along with friends and neighbors giving me free food for the wake. I was also given a $50 certificate for Olive Garden. (I took my lady's daughter and grandchildren out for a nice dinner with it.)
I broke down and cried when I received it. I made a point to thank everyone who signed the card and took the money.
More recently, I had a coworker who lost a parent. The coworker was in her mid 30's and the parent was elderly. I signed the card -- pulled $5 out of my pocket to throw into the pot. Later on I found out that she wanted to know who contributed what. That just irritated me.
I don't want my generosity to overshadow or undershadow anyone who gave more, or less. It was the $5 or a $20. I didn't feel that generous to her.
My altruism isn't perfect -- it is affected by my feelings towards a person and what I have to spare. A true friend -- I'd probably help them rob a bank; a co-worker that I like, I probably would empty my pockets; someone that I know in the office, maybe a buck or two.
Jim P. at December 19, 2010 10:35 PM
Jim, I think you're altruism's right where it needs to be. We're not supposed to walk around with sunshine beaming out of every orifice, and we're not supposed to go throwing money at people we don't know will need it, or trust to use it wisely. I just don't think charity's ever about being simple-minded, no more than any important thing in life is. (Food! Sex! Work! Taxes! Guitar! Scuba! Etc!)
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 20, 2010 4:54 AM
I am coming in late.
I had the most simple kindness done for me just this weekend, but it came at just the right time and made me feel 10 times better, and had to share it.
I stopped at a coffee shop this weekend for a little caffeine break. I had everything that I could possibly have with me as I needed it all that day and wasn't going to be able to stop home to get it. As I was digging for my wallet, my entire bag just fell open and all of my belongings spilled out all over the floor. I was just barely able to save my laptop from destruction by catching it as it fell from my bag. A gentleman rushed over without hesitation and started to help me. I thanked him profusely and then deciced to skip the coffee and just get on with my day. As I was just getting ready to pull out, I saw the same gentleman rushing outside with a cup of coffee in his hands. He got me to roll down my window and said "Seems like you could use this. Try to take some time for yourself today heh?" and just handed over the cup and walked away.
That was it. I lost it. His gesture of buying me a coffee overwhelmed me. I was so filled with gratitude that I started crying right there in my car, in the parking lot of the coffee shop.
See, I have been having an incredibly stressful time recently (both professionally and personally) and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Life has just been kicking me in the pants, I have some really tough decisions to make, and some pressure at work was starting to get to me. Of course, that gentleman had now way of knowing that. He just saw a woman having a bad day and thought he'd try to brighten it up and buy her a cup of coffee. He has no idea how much that small gesture made a difference in my day. It seems small in comparison to some of the other stories but to me, it was a huge deal. It was so random but yet, the timing was was perfect. It was just what I needed to jump start the rest of of my day and it put me in a good mood.
Sabrina at December 20, 2010 9:57 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1804989">comment from SabrinaI can't get enough of these! Keep 'em coming.
Amy Alkon at December 20, 2010 10:08 AM
One time a cute neighbor gave me a blow job around X-mas, gratis so to speak.
Now, that's what a guy really wants, not some sissy gift card.
BOTU at December 20, 2010 10:46 AM
My boyfriend, who was unemployed last winter, would routinely help out our neighbors shoveling their driveways. Our next door neighbors a Vietnam vet and his wife, the recent widow two doors down, an elderly man across the street, and a divorcee across the street. He is an un-naturally early riser and he would have our house and the 4 others done by the time any of them were even getting up. He never told any of them that he was doing it, although they eventually all figured it out. He refused their offers to pay him even though he was out of work. He's just generally a nice guy like that. He says he would have been out doing our own driveway anyway. Needless to say he received a lot of baked goodies last year. Now he works a job that he has to leave for at 5:30 am, so it's been more difficult for him to help out. The only repercussions from his kindness last year came when a teenager a few doors down came knocking on our door. He asked us if Kenny was the one shoveling the widow's driveway. Apparently Kenny wasn't aware that she paid the kid to shovel for her and the boy was a little distressed that he had been loosing out on that job every time it snowed. Oops...
Jill at December 20, 2010 11:03 AM
My 9 year old daughter has a form of mitochondrial cytosis called Kearns Sayre Syndrome. Almost 3 years ago she had become gravely ill and was in the ICU for 3 weeks. They sent us home on Hospice and said she would die soon.
I had only been at my new job a few months and didn't know that many people, but the employees donated enough vacation time that I could still get paid my full salary while staying with her in the hospital and at home as long as I needed. Even now I have some leftover, and still use it for her many therapy/doctors appointments. The gift of time was so much more valuable than anything else we could have received.
A couple of months after we got home, a lady called me and said that their church had taken on the idea of a "pass-it-forward" challenge, and had given $500 to multiple groups in the church as seed money. They used that money put on a fundraiser for Kate. Several local bands played, they had a yard sale, sold food, had inflatables. The total raised was 30 times the seed money. It was perfect timing because the week after the fundraiser we had to buy Kate $6500 hearing aids (insurance doesn't cover them).
We still have some of the money in an account as emergency funds for her care. Plus we sent some to a friend we have whose husband is dying of ALS while her son has a rare bone marrow failure disorder.
I know many of you are evangelical athiests, but the fact that so many people did so much for us showed me how God cares for us - through the hand of others. It's been one of the great joys we have had the privilege of experiencing through the hardships of Kate's life.
FYI Kate made a miraculous recovery and has amazed all her doctors. She still has a degenerative disorder, but is the happiest person I know and could care less what disabilities she has.
LB at December 20, 2010 12:03 PM
I have been lucky enough to generally be on the giving and not the recipient side. When I am I the recipient -- I don't ask questions. I say thank you, sincerely, and move on with my life.
I know I have neighbors that are embarrassed to take charity as well. But as a community we are stronger for it.
It is nice to know that our acts of kindness are appreciated.
Jim P. at December 20, 2010 12:42 PM
I went to dress barn the other day to pick up a couple of new, pretty things to wear this month. The lady in front of me had 4 blouses that she loved and wanted to buy. The cashier rang them up. Even with a discount card, the lady had to put back 2 blouses.
I motioned my cashier to add them to my tab. I met the lady outside and handed her the blouses. She was gobsmacked. I told her we all like to be "Oprah" now and then... and that was my opportunity!
Gal Heathen at December 20, 2010 5:05 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1805177">comment from Gal HeathenHow great, Gal Heathen! (See, you don't need to be religious to be a good person!)
Amy Alkon at December 20, 2010 5:44 PM
I agree that trying to track down someone who leaves an anonymous gift is tacky. It's contrary to the purpose of the gift.
I do know of a number of this kind of gifting person. They're like the Detroit Secret Santas: (who also seem to appear in other cities) http://www.freep.com/article/20101217/NEWS01/12170355/1450/appelection&template=artiPhone
The most fun gifts for me are the non-monetary gifts. Like shoveling snow from a sidewalk, or giving flowers that I grow. (roses are meant to be shared) I'm aspiring to give gifts like the laughing man in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WiHkqEWZTE&feature=related
Kennedy at December 20, 2010 7:41 PM
First, screw poor people. Most of them are poor because they deserve to be. Don't any of you maudlin wimps watch My Name Is Earl or Raising Hope? I used to be poor and I laugh my ass off because those shows are so true.
Second, screw rich people. Arrested Development, enough said while relying on sitcoms to make my point.
Third, screw all of you who don't do non-monetary gifts. Save up some real money and do something nice for someone instead of baking them granola cookies for Christmas.
I don't do Xmas gifts. Instead, I buy things for people I care about that they really would like at the time they would really like it. I don't shop--I notice. It's much better when something cool shows up in August.
Oh, and I tell everyone that I think Christmas gift giving should be limited to people you want to see naked on Xmas morning, and children, as exclusive categories.
Boycott Xmas.
mike at December 20, 2010 8:21 PM
Oh, Mike darling, I think you need to back off on the bitter pills a bit.
I too agree that a lot of poor people got that way through their own stupidity, so I just don't give to those charities. Puppies and kitties, however, get a buttload of my cash.
That said, dude...don't harsh on other people's generosity. Do I think they're silly for giving to people who continually make bad choices? Yes. Is it my place to say that? No. Thank the powers that be that not everyone has the same criteria when it comes to giving, that way, everyone gets some. If you don't like it, don't support it. That's my motto.
I also agree that Giftmass has gotten ENTIRELY out of hand. Seriously, it starts in early October when they are pushing Halloween decorations out of the way for Xmas trees...WRONG. Could we PLEASE have Thanksgiving first? Sheesh! But, there's also the logistics of modern day life to consider. My family lives 1300 miles from me. My mom could easily buy me a gift and ship it, but she sends me cash and lets me pick out what I want because a) she has no real idea of what the hell I would want, as I am a total gadget geek and she's 75 and barely uses a typewriter and b) it would suck for her to spend a bunch of cash and mail me something I didn't want/need (although I would be totally gracious and thank her for her gift - I was raised right - but why have her buy me something that's only going to go to Goodwill in the next six months?).
And, as a matter of fact, my mommy was very, very good to me this Xmas, so I ordered myself a Kindle and a case for it and still had cash to spare (did I say she was very, very good to me? Too good, I'd say).
So, when I call her tomorrow to thank her, I will tell her what I got, and she'll be happy, I'll be happy, and all is right in the world.
Just 'cause it's not your thing, don't knock it, dude.
Daghain at December 21, 2010 9:13 PM
When I'm in a relationship -- I buy gifts all year round for my lady. If I know her day was bad -- I'll buy random flowers, chocolate, or make sure dinner is ready when she gets home. I had a former co-worker that his wife was a nut job. He would tell me stories about his wife. I would make it a point to buy my lady flowers on the way home.
I'll randomly insist on buying lunch for co-workers. I consider it being generous. At the same time -- if I forget to bring cash, I thank the coworker for covering lunch.
Random acts of kindness have never hurt anyone -- any time of the year.
Jim P. at December 21, 2010 9:29 PM
I try to do little nice random things when I can, but often the receiver is so used to the cynical nature of our world that they think they are being swindled or there is some "catch". This doesn't stop me though.
Every year on Christmas I travel to New Jersey. I hate that the toll booth operators are forced to work on Christmas so I pick up a chocolate Santa for each toll worker and hand them off with my dollar toll. People who normally never smile or say a word suddenly light up like you handed them a 100 dollar bill. It's just a 99 cent piece of candy but the look on their face proves that it really is the thought that counts.
Kevin O at December 23, 2010 4:35 AM
a woman in my 500-member mom's group lost over 100 lbs last year. So a bunch of us got together and threw in $10 each and got her a GC to macy's for new clothes. Her husband left her to become a woman (no, seriously, it really did happen) with 3 young kids and no money and she just ballooned up. I was massively impressed when she got it together and dealt with it. Plus she's awesomely nice, and is now small enough than men can get to the nice. Go her.
momof4 at December 23, 2010 7:06 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/19/loved_this_stor.html#comment-1807627">comment from momof4How wonderful, momof4!
Amy Alkon at December 23, 2010 7:07 PM
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