A Very Jack Bauer Christmas
Just love this -- Jack Bauer interrogating Santa Claus:
Yes, "24" was a cartoon, and the last season was so ridiculous, I couldn't have suspended my disbelief enough if I'd used a winch and 3,000-foot cable, but I loved it.
Favorite character: Chloe the frowning nerd.
Most unbelievable aspect of the show: The way Jack would bellow "send it to my PDA!" and whatever it was -- maps, plans, the entire contents of the Pentagon -- it was there immediately, and there was never any problem with AT&T.
My favorite TV show that's still on is "House."
My TV addiction that is no longer on: "The Shield." Gregg bought a boxed set -- The Shield: Complete Series -- and we are watching the whole thing. Great show. For me, Michael Chiklis is wasted in any role where he isn't poking a gun in somebody's face. Changing the channel the other day, I saw him playing somebody's whiny dad on some network, and I about hurled. It's kind of like dressing your Doberman in a pink feathered nightie, and taking it for a walk.
Yeah, I know. But, she's a Yorkshire terrier, and she likes getting dressed up.
Via @EdMorrissey
No more twisted that some of the other Christmas specials. Conan once touched on this, but "Frosty the Snowman," for instance, is about a living snowman who absconds with a stolen hat, kidnaps and endangers a child by exposing her to the elements and being pursued by a dangerous lunatic bent on recovering his stolen property.
And snowmen coming to life is the stuff of nightmares, not children's stories. I don't know of any kid so stupid that wouldn't run away screaming if their snowman suddenly started dancing around.
"Twas the Night Before Christmas" is about Santa Claus having a hissy fit and boycotting an entire town because an adolescent mouse sent him a letter claiming he didn't believe in him.
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" -- an entire community ostracizes someone for an accident of birth...until they need him and become hypocritical suckups.
(NOTE: Contrary to what the original special implies, Rudolph's nose is not a benevolent mutation. As revealed in "Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July," Rudolph's luminescent nose was the magical gift of the Aurora Borealis, given to him as a fawn. "Way to get me kicked out of the herd. Gee, thanks, bitch.")
"Rudolph's Shiny New Year" -- group harassment of a newborn for having oversized pinnae...classy guys.
"A Charlie Brown Christmas" -- Charlie Brown is set up. He's pushed into a position he doesn't want and doesn't feel qualified to do, then blamed when he fails.
"A Christmas Story" -- The parents must hate Ralphie, that's all I can say. They are utterly convinced that BB guns will knock out Ralphie's eye. Yet, they get him one. "Here, Ralphie...go outside and shoot your eye out!" To say nothing of humiliation they put him through by making him wear that bunny suit. Sadistic bastards should not reproduce! Why does this need to be explained to anyone?
Christmas specials are just plain sick.
Patrick at December 25, 2010 4:20 AM
You forgot Santa's abuse of animals by having them exceed the weight and speed capacity by many times in one night.
But this is a day I'll try to those who do unto me.
Jim P. at December 25, 2010 4:39 AM
jeebus, give me a break. The meesage of Christmas is awesome, you know, "peace of earth, good will towards man". Could you folks try to be less xynical on this day?
ronc at December 25, 2010 9:24 AM
and there was never any problem with AT&T
Jack is a Verizon customer.
I R A Darth Aggie at December 25, 2010 9:25 AM
Last year's 24 was pretty bad, but boy do I LOVE Jack Bauer!!! If you want to get addicted to another great show, try "Dexter" and "Mad Men." Both are amazing, not in the "24" way, but amazing!!
Kristen at December 25, 2010 9:54 AM
Chiklis has had some really bad roles, too. He once played Curly Howard in a Three Stooges movie and it was cringe worthy, to say the least. He should stick to tough guy roles.
Dack Thrombosis at December 25, 2010 10:57 AM
Hilarious.
I only watched "24" a couple of times but it was too much like Soviet style agit-prop to watch on a full stomach.
parabarbarian at December 25, 2010 11:39 AM
Merry Christmas!
I think people being cynical about secular Christmas shows (like Frosty and Santa, etc.) is pretty different from being cynical about Christmas.
If you're a Christian, you might like these "What if it's true" articles. If you're not, you'll probably dismiss it or not be interested. Although I was impressed by both.
http://townhall.com/columnists/CalThomas/2010/12/23/what_if_its_true
http://townhall.com/columnists/DavidLimbaugh/2010/12/24/so,_what_if_the_bible_really_is_true
KrisL at December 25, 2010 1:30 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2010/12/25/a_very_jack_bau.html#comment-1808707">comment from KrisLKrisL, one link per comment, please. I don't know why your comment didn't go to spam, with two, but it typically would.
PS I'm an atheist who thinks Christmas trees are very pretty and will wish you Merry Christmas if I think you celebrate it. (Beats "Up your nose with a rubber hose!")
Amy Alkon at December 25, 2010 1:47 PM
If you're a Christian, you might like these "What if it's true" articles. If you're not, you'll probably dismiss it or not be interested. Although I was impressed by both.
It would be great if the bible were true. Just the same as scientology had a factual basis.
But if you do some research it seems that Luke was written in the 60's[1] and John in the 90's[2]. Somehow I have a doubt that the life expectancy back then was anywhere near 60 let alone 90.
So whoever wrote those gospels had to do it from hand me down tales.
Some of the stuff I talk about are from Friend of a Friend tales. I work hard to clear the BS from the true. I used to run the Darwin awards -- I know BS when I hear it and try to make sure that I don't pass on crap.
[1] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Luke
[2] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_John
Jim P. at December 25, 2010 3:32 PM
KrisL, according to the logic behind the resoning of your first link, every religion is true as none of the leaders of any of them 'recanted' their stories.
And given the logic behind the second christianity is false based on the teaching of Jesus and Jusus promised if you ask god for somthing in prayer you will get it.
Now I cant speak for everybody, but back when I did pray not a one ever got answered, neither did the prayers of anyone I knew. So that means either Jesus was a liar(and therefore not devine), or didnt exist as portrayed(and therefore not real)
lujlp at December 25, 2010 3:56 PM
> but I loved it.
How, exactly? I'm not trying be holier-than-thou, OK? I loves the tee-vee! And I've never seen that particular show...
But every time we see a promo or a shot from it, it's about this somewhat-alcoholic actor-son-of-an actor shooting a resentful glance over his shoulder while taking long strides across a parking lot, just after humorlessly reading a text off his cell phone as if it were still new technology and Sprint had fucked up his billing. And there's always a scene like the one linked... Someone's about to get tortured, because dammit, an American's gotta do what an American's gotta do.
Meanwhile everyone I ever talked to about this is the sort of person who thinks that violence is just freaking unpleasant, and the surreptitious violence in the service of a free society is a contradiction in terms.
Even as, like, a free-floating daydream about how muscle works in 9/11 America, the popularity of this show has always been hard to understand.
When X-Files was popular in Clinton's 90's, we were given two explanations:
...and...
So what's the deal with THIS show?
Crid [CridComment at gmail] at December 26, 2010 5:18 AM
I've never seen "24." Not a single time.
I want to know more about Olive. You know, the Other Reindeer.
Old RPM Daddy at December 27, 2010 1:16 PM
Oh, by the way, it took a couple years of reading MAD magazine as a kid to recognize the artist behind Frosty the Snowman. Anybody remember who it was?
Old RPM Daddy at December 27, 2010 1:18 PM
I'm really excited about Southland's second season, and if you have HBO, I'd definitely recommend Boardwalk Empire to sate your television needs.
JC at December 27, 2010 4:40 PM
I'm really excited about Southland's second season, and if you have HBO, I'd definitely recommend Boardwalk Empire to sate your television needs.
JC at December 27, 2010 4:51 PM
"Many consumers aren't interested in consuming long-form video services on their PCs. They expect a TV-like experience. Except for the tech-savvy and resourceful among us, it's not widely accessible
I cancel my Cable :D at September 4, 2011 3:01 AM
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