How To Get A Bribe From The U.S. Government
David Harsanyi writes in the Denver Post:
I came across only a single criterion foreign nations must meet to receive aid from the United States: They just have to ask. They don't even have to ask nicely.Actually, we began bribing the Egyptian dictatorship -- which is pronounced "presidency" in Arabic -- with approximately $2 billion yearly beginning in the late 1970s. The funding has helped Egyptians break the habit of launching wars they couldn't win and saved the Israeli army the hassle of sending tanks to exurbs of Cairo every few years.
What the dollars did not seem to do is help foster any more liberalism. It did not dissuade the Egyptian state-run media from fomenting anti-Western conspiracies and hatred, nor did it quell radicalism and, most consequentially, it did not stem the growing poverty in the nation.
...So what do we do? "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch" is a famous American axiom. And shouldn't our money come with the promise to be better?
Loved the line in the piece about our ancestors trying to escape the Egyptians ever since they had a "thriving construction sector."
We have a huge fiscal crisis in this country. I'll ask the big question: Should we be subsidizing anybody?
We borrow from the Chinese to give money to the Egyptians. If you are normal, this is called stupidity. If you work for the State Department, this is called diplomacy.
My share, per capita, is less than ten bucks a year. I would rather flush it down the toilet than see it go to Egypt, especially because much of it is arms. I guess this is the price of Jimmy Carter's Nobel Peace Prize.
MarkD at February 4, 2011 6:55 AM
We shouldn't be subsidizing anyone at all. And remember, you get more of what you subsidize. And apparently, we've been subsidizing a form of Islam.
That's great, guys.
On the other side, watch the price of oil, and price of wheat. If either or both go up, what we've seen thus far in Egypt will look like a walk in the cake.
And that unrest? will spread to other places. Rising prices push people living on the edge right on over. Starving people will do what it takes to survive.
I R A Darth Aggie at February 4, 2011 7:06 AM
"If either or both go up, what we've seen thus far in Egypt will look like a walk in the cake."
Not only that, we'll see rampant outbreaks of mixed metaphors!
Old RPM Daddy at February 4, 2011 7:55 AM
I've been wondering how I can start getting money from the government with little effort. Legally, of course; I don't want to end up in jail for fraud.
Maybe I should start by buying up some crappy land and calling it a farm. Then, I can start getting paid when nothing grows on it.
Or I could just start selling the military $1000 hammers.
Bottom line: Where's my no-bid contract and/or subsidy?
Tyler at February 4, 2011 11:09 AM
"Where's my no-bid contract and/or subsidy?"
I'd start by renting a senator, and getting him or her to manufacture a crisis for you to solve. You'll be swimming in gravy after that. The up-front cost can be pretty steep, but the payoff is there if you're patient.
Old RPM Daddy at February 4, 2011 11:32 AM
Okay, this is totally off-topic, but RPM Daddy & I R A, you're killing me. Especially after looking at the food choices in that Slate article...right now a walk in the cake followed by swimming in gravy sounds real good.
I'd better go get some lunch.
Pricklypear at February 4, 2011 12:46 PM
And maybe a piece of park for dessert.
Pricklypear at February 4, 2011 12:47 PM
"I've been wondering how I can start getting money from the government with little effort. "
Start your own country. Or threaten to grow a crop.
Cousin Dave at February 4, 2011 4:36 PM
We're not altruists, we only subsidize govts when it is in our interest.
NicoleK at February 5, 2011 1:43 PM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2011/02/04/how_to_get_a_br.html#comment-1837604">comment from NicoleKWe're not altruists, we only subsidize govts when it is in our interest.
The question is...who "our" is.
Amy Alkon
at February 5, 2011 2:02 PM
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