A bit of both, but overall made it better.
Better sine can easily FB a group to do a spur of the moment gathering often with some draw you only heard about 5 min ago.
One big one for me is I'm an avid hiker. It used to be a royal pain to get a group together to hike, A dozen phone calls to get 3 people to show, one who will want to go elsewhere or later, and no one commits till they heard the weather report from the night before. Now it's a 5-minute post and a dozen friends will be at the trail head if it gets canceled takes another 5 minutes.

The worse, some don't unplug when you are face to face with friends. Put the blackberry away and you'ld notice the guy checking you out, but then again the few that do that were rarely fully 'there' if they weren't texting.

For the better. My two best friends now are people I met on the internet. We share a passon for a sport that only has about 5000 regular participants in the US. When I found out that they wanted to go to all the events that I wanted to go to, we started traveling together all the time. We have been going strong for almost four years now and my life has never been better. I have met other people at these events and we keep in touch both at the National championships every year and through e mail and message boards when we are not actually competing.

Better. Most my friends are scattered all over the world now. It's much easier to keep in touch with them.

For better. I'm notoriously bad at making phone calls and putting written letters in the mail. With Facebook, email, and texting, I just send over my question, secure in the knowledge that my friend has received it nearly instantly and will respond when he/she can.

My mother, on the other hand, is addicted to her Facebook and although she talks to old friends in other states, she also never goes out with the ones in her own town. She's too busy playing Farmville, Farm Town, Mafia Wars, Cityville, etc. to get out. And now she uses my Facebook profile to play the games so she can reach her goals more quickly.

Read an interesting book awhile back called Tyranny of the Moment: Fast and Slow Time in the Information Age, by anthropologist Thomas Hylland Eriksen. Discussed how technology has impacted our everyday lives and expectations.

The internet has certainly revolutionized my social life. Now I can be rejected by attractive women without ever having to leave the comfort of my own home! ;-)

Love hearing these stories...keep em coming!

I spend way too much time on the internet. On the one hand I keep in touch with folks back home. On the other hand, I should be meeting more people here, and the internet only exacerbates my natural shyness...

Not really better or worse really...just different.

I have made some connections with people with similar interests that would be difficult to have made otherwise. I have kept in touch with friends around the world which is nice but as hugely important as I might have thought.

Negatives...well it has become harder to just do something with a few people within a group...you weren't there when we made plans doesn't seem to work anymore. People attached to work by phone...though that has been my whole professional life.

WHen I went back and took some classes here I was shocked that the library was basically nothing...everything was online. As an undergrad the library was social scene...now nothing.

I'd have to say for the better, although I've never been a particularly social animal to begin with. I resisted getting on Facebook until a couple of years ago, but was delighted to reconnect with old friends I hadn't seen in twenty years when I did sign up. So overall, a positive.

Isabel1130, what sport, if you don't mind me asking?

Better. Catching up with long lost friends via Facebook, and reconnecting with musicians I used to jam with has been a definite plus!

For me its been great. About two years ago I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and a neuromuscular disease that severely impaired my ability to walk. Depression set in, weight gain, and I became a little too reliant on getting all of my news and socialization online while trying to figure out how to move forward with the physical ailments. I reconnected with many old friends on FB and eventually was coaxed into attending an informal reunion where the connections became stronger. Two years later, I am beginning to get around more and feel better and I honestly believe that the rekindled friendships have been a big part of it. I have to say that I have added many acquaintances in my life and at least three good friends. Many of the friends I reconnected with are now people I see in person regularly as well as chat with online.

Better, found my wife on line, I'm in CA, she was in FL.
Also, the voice over biz has changed radically, I can do about 75% of my work here at home, with my wonderful wife just downstairs.

For better. Am able to keep in touch with so many more friends and relatives on FB. Some I would never really have known much about their lives, their kids, etc, had we only met up at family gatherings. One of my cousins, after reconnecting on FB, came to my wedding and brought his two kids - one a little girl with Down's Syndrome. She danced all night at the reception and was a big hit with the crowd! My cousin and I spent more time together that weekend than probably since we were 12. It was magical.

Joe hit on the value of the Internet to get groups of people with similar interests together. My brother recently moved to Southern California and decided it would be fun to take up surfing. While he didn't use Facebook, he used meetup.com (It's not what it sounds like) to find a group of beginning surfers. His social life immediately exploded into a very active one in a city where he didn't know anyone at all and has had the opportunity to meet a very diverse group of people that he would've never otherwise run across.

Also, I've spent a lot of time living overseas as I am now. I've lived overseas before the Internet really exploded and after. Let me tell you, the Internet makes living on the other side of the planet painless. A "magic jack" (as seen on TV) means I can talk to any family and friends as often as I like for as long as I like versus a once a month ten minute phone call. I can shop for books in English or any other American product I get a hankering for. I can drink beer and make an ass of myself on some woman's blog.

The new people I meet in person over here invite me to some really cool events, where I can meet other people.

It has made my social life drastically better. Hands down. As for meeting romantic interests on the Internet? Screw that. It doesn't work for me and I have no interest in it. But it does facilitate meeting more people in person.

One thing I really like about this group invite thing is that if your invited to something you wouldn't otherwise be terribly interested in, you can see who else has accepted the invitation. "Wow, she's pretty. I wouldn't mind meeting her." I've wound up with a date or two this way. So maybe that's a mild form of "Internet dating".

Another thing I forgot to mention was that my kids and I began sending packages to troops overseas and quite a few of the soldiers asked for email addresses. I became quite friendly through online chatting and email with two of the soldiers and continue those friendships to this day now that they are no longer deployed. I loved that some soldier who may have been feeling isolated in Baghdad was able to log on and have a friendly conversation with someone here in the States. That never would have been possible without the Internet.

My point is that while the Internet can certainly be a force for isolation, depending on how you use it, it can be an equally powerful force for getting your ass out of the house and putting yourself in the path of interesting people and fun experiences.

Kristen,

I love people like you! You have no idea what those packages mean to deployed military people! You're beautiful.

My favorite past benefactor? booksforsoldiers.com

Teh intarwebz allowed me to virtually meet you and, if I may be allowed the familiarity, to become a friend of yours Amy. And it's allowed me to make connections with a number of new friends including one of my favorite singer/songwriters. Heck, I wouldn't even know *of* him if I hadn't discovered his work on a streaming radio station.
Yay internet.

I just have to say this again. Kristen and people like her are wonderful, wonderful people that mean so much to the military community that it's impossible to put into words. I absolutely love you and all people that take their precious time to reach out with such kindness. We ALL love you.

Thanks WhistleDick, but it really was the least I could do. Shopping for comfort items and filling out a customs form is nothing compared with what those soldiers were doing. My heart goes out to every single one of them.

For those interested and I hope its ok with Amy that I post the web address, we used Anysoldier.com It was started by a soldier who saw a that there were many soldiers with little or no family.

No, Kristen. It's not the least you could do. It's very thoughtful and kind and it's very well appreciated. But dammit! Stop referring to us all as soldiers :) I'm an Airman and there are Sailors and Marines as well. There are inter-service rivalries, you know :)

(I'm not really offended, just poking fun. I LOVE YOU!)

Sorry Whistledick, I'm sure you're not really offended, but its true, there are Marines, Sailors, and Airman. I happened to correspond with Soldiers, but the site has all branches of service.

Hey Whistle: Where at? PACAF? USAFE? CENTAF?

I think this whole thread is proof of "better." :)

As for me, when I moved to DC two years ago, I went on FB and found all the people I knew from high school and college who had also moved there. These were people who I hadn't spoken with in years, so of course I didn't have updated e-mail addresses or phone numbers for them.

Through Facebook, I was able to get advice on apartments and set up dinners and coffees with these people to get me through the first lonely weeks in a new city.

It's been mainly good for me. Way back in the AOL dialup days, I participated in some chat rooms and ended up meeting some nice people "IRL." Even dated a couple of women I met in those chat rooms. It was sort of similar to online dating, and I really had to weed through a lot of unattractive and socially inept people to get to the normal and reasonably attractive women.

More recently, I was able to use instant messaging and MySpace to stay connected with people back home when I was in Afghanistan (this was 2007, before MySpace died). My friends who have deployed lately have obviously used Facebook.

Facebook, as several have noted here, allows me to put together a group on relatively short notice for dancing, concerts, sporting events, etc. I don't much care to follow the minutiae of most of my friends' lives, though. I really find the most use for Facebook professionally, since "friending" an industry contact makes it very easy to stay in touch, especially since I'm on the road for business a lot. I do have a special category for industry contacts on my Facebook account, which limits what they are able to see on my page.

I've never used Facebook to contact people from my past. If someone has dropped out of my life, there's a reason for that, and the connection was probably never very strong to begin with.

I love the Internet but I don't really use it for what I would call social stuff. Sure I'll send links to family and friends concerning funny stuff or tragic stories, but I don't use Facebook. I don't really want to know about high school buddies. I like the memories I have and I don't want to taint them with reality and see broken dreams and compromises and still loving life. Al of which can be beautiful but It gets me depressed. I would rather work or read what interests me. I'm probably an outlier. I have my few friends I enjoy spending time with but it seems their online lives are just superficial compared to how I know them. I wonder if I've explained myself well.

Socializing is easier this way. I can leave when I want to without the awkwardness of encouraging guests to leave.

On the other hand, the internet also provides a ready made distraction that keeps from doing the work I should be doing...right now, for instance.

I met my wife over 20 years ago online. That was before "the Internet as we know it today."

Both.

For worse, everyone that I never wanted to keep in touch are googling or facebooking my name. Especially my ex's who have moved on, but facebooked me just to see how I am doing. One who got married... wanted me to add him as a "friend" I didn't think it was appropriate. Plus I am one of the few true original facebook people who were there when the site was only for @college.edu people. I mean that you have to have an college email to be invited onto Facebook. When the site was full of Ivy league students, and college students who can communicate with other people of their major, and you can talk about how the professors, classes, college, etc. Now it's more like taking pictures of your food to let your friend know what you had for lunch (wish that last comment was false). And you can now find your high school drop-out friends :P I know, I sound like a Bitch saying this, but I am just speaking on behalf of the people who saw this rapid change, that ask themselves "Why is my grandmother adding me on Facebook?"

However, I am an internet junkie, I do Tweet more now, and read tweets because 140 character is the amount I can pay attention to; And I do use the old fashion internet medium like email. Because email still looks professional. I also use my iPad way too much for angry bird and I am a gamer. I do play online with friends on my PS3. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of money i spent on iTunes for music, apps, and movies :) Seems I socialize with gamers more online, and Tweeters.

Yet if I am bored of the internet, I read a book.

For the better. Through a couple of forums I stumbled into, I made some friends I feel very close to, a couple of whom I regularly see in person. Facebook allowed me to reconnect with friends from High School, Youth Groups and college who I had lost touch with over the years. (And I didn't lose them by choice, it was really easy to drift apart and lose people you weren't VERY close with before the internet.) Even people still here in MI, some of whom I see regularly, I've become closer with and grown to know better because we interact regularly on FB. Life is busy, everyone has limited time, and while I'd love to have more time to spend with my friends in person, the internet ensures that I at least get to keep in touch.
My daughter can't imagine life without the internet. She skypes and talks through facebook with friends in Israel. When I tell her it used to take 2 weeks for a letter to get there, she asks me how we survived. I sound really old saying this, but kids today don't know how fortunate they are technologically speaking.
And as I write this, I'm busy on Facebook convincing a friend in Colorado to come to Ann Arbor to meet up with a friend from England who will be in town in September. I've never met either woman in person, we met on a forum, but I consider both of them friends. This could never have happened before the internet.

Studies by psychologists and educators have linked excessive screen time to a loss of concentration and deep thinking
****

Kids are most likely being selected for ADD testing by their teachers. Teachers "select" the kids based on how frequently they act up or get distracted. Kids who are bored to death by watching somebody at the front of the room talk for 45 minutes at a time are probably drawn to the stimulation intensive digital world of social networking. (The increased rate of stimulus is why ADD kids can play video games for eight hours a day).

Twenty years ago an ADD diagnosis wasn't on the radar. Kids were just disruptive in the classroom, class clowns, day dreamers, or distractable. "Studies by psychologists and educators" is fairly well worthless unless you know the way the study was done.

I am able to see some of my relatives as actual people instead of just aunt, uncles, etc. It's awesome to be able to keep up with my cousin in Doha, and his passport issues with a business trip to the West Bank. On the same page, I can see where a friend is on her vacuum cleaner sale. Or see that my best friend finally found her marshmallows in the back of her pantry. There are also plenty of jokes I wouldn't get to hear without the Internet.
What did the Energizer Bunny get arrested for?
Battery, the police even asked him to stop and he kept going. :-)
The Internet has certainly revolutionized the job market. Applications are done online. No wasting footsteps or 4.00/gal gas all over the place. It means appearance and personality means less toward landing an interview. I also can make a lot more cash through ebay than through a yard sale.

It's also very difficult to leave with any new knowledge is at my fingertips.

"Now it's more like taking pictures of your food to let your friend know what you had for lunch (wish that last comment was false)."

This is why I hate Facebook. A little huddle of relatives, running to the computer to make an announcement every time they shoveled a neighbor's walk, posting a thousand bad photos of themselves, going on political rants, and whining about how hard their lot is (the last, from a doctor with his own practice).

However, I love writing my own blog and communicating with others who write on the same subject (low carb living). They make the Internet a source of information and encouragement.

I am one of the few true original facebook people who were there when the site was only for @college.edu people.... I am just speaking on behalf of the people who saw this rapid change, that ask themselves "Why is my grandmother adding me on Facebook?"

haha me too! I joined really early, when all you had was a profile pic and basic info. No messaging, no photos, no videos, no tagging.

In a way I miss the old days...when I could:

-Post something slightly controversial and not having to worry if my aunt would yell at me for setting a bad example for her son.

-Post pictures from the party last night and know that only the people who were there would see them.

-Cuss with abandon.

-Post something with a pop-culture reference and not have my mom who doesn't know how to use The Googles responding "hi sweetie i don't know what that means is game of thrones something you play with your friends?"

Granted, it's my fault I friended these people. But it just sort of happened. Snuck up on me. And now I'm expected to be friends with my coworkers too!

Granted being able to see the pics of my cousins' babies from 4 states away is kinda cool...

"...internet also provides a ready made distraction that keeps from doing the work I should be doing...right now..."

Ditto.

Also, I argue more online than in real life. If I said (or heard) some of these comments on the street a van would pull up and take one of us away! Some to the crazy house, some to a government reeducation facility...

I directed the audiobook version of "Always On"' by Brian Chen, just camemout last week, worth a read, the changes are enormous.

the intranets, such a curious creature. Since I'm not very social to begin with, my contact with people has certainly been enhanced. It's a place that's nowhere, where you can connect with people who have some similar interest to you. 'Scapers, Browncoats, Whovians [only they know who they are] can connect in such a way as to talk about that one common interest. Single fathers, Rum aficionados, and people with Crohn's fall in with each other... from there is where it's interesting to me. That one point of departure, allows you to obliquely talk about other points of departure, without ruffling any feathers that much. Maybe the Rum brought you to a person who liked Space1999 back in the day, and suggested the kind of car tires they had the best luck with... and oh yeah, OK GO was playing a small bar with no advertising, and you should come out.

These are the sorts of things we prolly all did when we were young in highschool/college and had a circle of friends who had many different interests but there was a slender thread that held all together.

But what happened when you grew up and moved away? Your groups changed, and people drift in/out of them, depending on marriage/kids/divorce/work.

I think the internet and it's host of sites for connection reintroduced the circle of friends for an era when dinner parties don't happen as often/at all, and provides a continuity when life changes stuff. You know, for that time when you get married and have a kid on the way, and all your single friends are still getting wasted? Yused to be that once that marriage line was crossed, your circle of friends had to change, but I don't thinks it's so bad now.

That doesn't mean it's all wine and roses, but when was it ever? Now it's much more a movable feast where you met friends on Bulletin Boards, and then they went to myspace or livejournal and now they want to know why you aren't on facebook or twitter.
The thing about that is... BB's were subject driven, like your favorite show, and so you wrote more in depth about that... the journals like LJ are much more individualistic with following your specific friends, and maybe being introduced to new ones occasionally... but definitely talking about things more in depth. Seems like FB and tweets are much more transitory "I just had the BEST maitai!"

You're still connected, but what're you talking about?

Overall, I think it's good, esp for introverts like me... I talk when I want to, and when I don't want to, I don't, and generally I don't stop getting invited to those kinds of parties just because I don't always have a lot to say... Where in regular life you might've. Also, with friends all over the place you get a much broader view, with the downside being you don't get to see them in person as much. But when you DO see each other, you already know that last week, they had a car problem, or broke up with an SO. or are getting ready to defend their dissertation so you didn't fall out of their lives.

However. I tell my kids, and friends and so on a favorite quote from a fictitious headmaster:
"it doesn't do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"
That is the danger of always talking back to the night, to the voices inside the box, you need to get outside in the sun, too.

Better. i met Cathy Seipp through her blog, and then I met everyone.

I was reminded by another comment of this wierd event.

Last fall I went to a job fair. I was stand-up interviewing with a guy as commonly happens. At the end, he detaches the bottom of the paper he had been writing on and handed it to me saying I needed to apply online and to enter the number on the paper so his notes could be connected with my application. They had pre-printed notepaper with de-tachable cards with the id of the paper on it.

My favorite past benefactor? booksforsoldiers.com
Posted by: WhistleDick

That my favorite group, ofcourse once I was discharged I sent a few boxes of books back to the medical outprocessing company I was in directly.

I probably waste more time reading status updates on Facebook than I'm willing to admit. Once the initial novelty of "friending" everyone I ever knew wore off, I quickly realized that being FB friends doesn't necessarily mean an actual friendship. At the same time, it has led to me reconnecting with people and actually hanging out in person. FB was also instrumental in helping organize a reunion/performance with my high school marching band's alumni. In that sense it's been a positive influence. I think it's all in how you use it.

Let us not forget...

Rather than speak about important issues to a spouse, a person may confide in those low-risk friends on Facebook, the WOW voice server Ventrilo or via chat channels from Yahoo, Google, etc. - ever eager to confirm your thoughts.

And decide your fate in absentia.

You're not going to like Thursdays after that.

So, social media can actually be antisocial, too.

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